Wrath: A Sinful Secrets Romance, page 58
“I love you, angel. Thank you for the sugar high.”
I kiss his forehead. “Always.”
“Go slow with him,” Mills says. “Don’t let yourself feel pressured.”
“Are we having ‘the talk’, Dad?” I tease.
He stands up so he can hug me tight and kiss my cheek. His hand strokes my back. “I’m so damn proud of you, Ez. All the work that you’ve been doing…”
He must mean in therapy. I kiss his lips. “I love you more.”
“I’ve got your V-Day when this guy leaves.” Mills cups himself, and I get one more hug before I hustle to the door, pulling it open for a short, slim guy with black glasses, a paisley button-up, and gray slacks with what I think are…
“Doc Martens?”
He looks down. “Nice eye,” he says. He looks so nerdy in the glasses. He seems shy as I beckon him in. He seems so shy, I end up making tea for him and trying to make him feel at ease. When he says he likes my apartment, I take a deep breath and say, “Actually, it’s our apartment. Well, not really. It’s my boyfriend Josh’s. But I basically live here with him.”
Dirk’s eyes widen over the rim of his teacup, and I can’t help laughing.
“There weren’t any rumors,” he says, blinking, wide-eyed. “I saw nothing about this in all my digging. Heard nothing.”
I shrug. “Some people on campus know. And on the team. Maybe no one wanted to share it. Anyway, my boyfriend Josh is here. He’ll probably be out in a few minutes.”
Mills is clearly listening, because he’s out within one minute. He’s wearing a button-up and khaki pants and looking like the most gorgeous guy on the planet with his dark hair curling slightly on his forehead and his blue eyes and that smile. Polite and kind, as ever.
“Hi,” he says—and I make a note to rag on him for saying “hi” to our New York Times reporter. “I’m Josh Miller.”
“The boyfriend,” I tack on.
Dirk’s blond brows furrow, and he looks from Josh to me. “I have you down as the stepbrother.”
Miller’s face is priceless. He arches a brow and gives Dirk a wicked little grin without missing a beat. He says, “I’m that, too.”
Dirk’s hand goes to his cheek, and he mimes a swoon. “This story is getting interesting. Sorry to be glib.” He laughs, and I take Miller’s hand and lead him to the loveseat.
“It’s okay to be glib. We’re stepbrother fuckers. We’re okay with glib.”
“I won’t quote you on that,” Dirk laughs.
Miller squeezes my hand, and we all sober some as the reporter gets into what he’s really here to do. He’s here to do a so-called “human interest” profile on me—Ezra Masters, the Bama quarterback—but it’s one that will be tied into a big story the Times is doing about conversion therapy. Alongside the larger investigative piece, which is actually a four-part series, there’ll be a story about Alton. How the place closed at the end of January—under legal pressure following a victims’ lawsuit. A lawsuit financed by Evermore United Church, and one that has my name on it. A lawsuit that might not wrap before the FBI starts making arrests; Luke says those are coming soon, but I’m not telling Dirk that.
“We can do the profile on you and not link it to the series on conversion therapy,” Dirk tells me now. “I mean, my editor will be miffed with me since you said you were okay with it, but I’m willing to do that,” he says. “You don’t have to talk about it. After I leave here, I’m going to give you a day or two to change your mind. So you have time to think about it.”
I tell him I don’t need that. “I’m going to Pastor Luke’s church, Evermore, this summer. I’m not that religious, but they’re doing stuff there for survivors.” I say the word without a wobble in my voice, and I feel proud. “Everyone will know I’m out there, being part of that. I already have an interview with ESPN planned for next week. As soon as the suit got filed three weeks ago, they called me.”
“So you’re ready,” he says.
“Yeah.” I squeeze Miller’s hand. “We’re both ready.”
“You want to come out in the New York Times?” Dirk makes a bug-eyed face like he thinks we’re insane.
“Umm…” I laugh, and Josh says, “We do. We’re both out to everybody personal. I told my dad last week, and that went okay,” he says.
Dirk asks—discreetly, and with hesitation—if the football program is okay with it, and I’m relieved to tell him I came out to them after the Rose Bowl.
“Ahh,” he says. “Because Josh went out on the field.” His eyes widen. “I need to hear that story.”
I refill his tea three times over the course of our story. It’s not the whole story, but I hit most of the high points. I’ve been rehearsing what to say about Alton, so I know how much I want to reveal and which parts I’d rather keep private. By the time he’s wrapping up, he’s got three crumpled tissues in his lap, but he looks…brighter.
“This is all very inspiring. I don’t mean that as a platitude. Just…the amount of courage it takes to speak about this rather than keeping it hidden. You didn’t have to add your name onto the lawsuit.”
I nod. I think of myself on TV sometime in the future, talking about Alton. On a talk show or something. Telling people that conversion therapy is like torture. It makes my stomach nose-dive, but I breathe slowly and the feeling goes away.
“I didn’t have to. I know. But I want to.”
Dirk smiles at me, and then Josh. “Why do I have the feeling he’s just getting started?”
Miller wraps an arm around me, squeezing tight. “Because he is.”
Two
Ezra
June 16, 2020
I think I’ve come full circle. It doesn’t look the way I thought it would.
What’s my view? I’m on a bed with a big window right beside me. Out the window, trees are streaming by, dappled in sunlight but mostly in the forest’s shadow.
I’m not in a school bus this time, but an RV. And the driver? My Josh Miller. I’m looking at the back of his head- the way his hair sticks out underneath my peach ball cap, which he pulled on this morning when we woke up in Portland, Maine, beside a lighthouse.
The sun was so bright on the water, we both needed caps. I’ve gotten kind of fond of his old camouflage one. Miller usually takes the peach, which I think suits him. He’s got a juicy peach, and also- is a peach. Nobody sweeter than Josh Miller. Even when his only shower for two days has been the ocean and I’m pretty sure he’s got sand in his butt from…things that happened behind some rocks.
Anyway- we’re going back to Alton. I am. Miller’s never been, of course. But we can both go there now, and we can go alone. Because-
Luke owns this place now.
Yeah. It feels weird to even write that. Luke McDowell bought Alton. Actually, his church’s charity, The Rainbow Initiative, bought it. The sale just went through about ten days ago. Miller and I had planned to take the summer off from school and do the RV thing- start on the East Coast, head up, cut across the Midwest and dip down into Yellowstone, then onto Evermore to be there for the first of the conversion therapy survivor groups. We got our RV early, though, so we could be the first ones here since the police did their thing.
The place is guarded by private security. For the next year or so, Alton is just going to sit and collect dust, while we wait to see if the court will want evidence from there. Once all that is over- we’re not sure yet, but the thought is maybe Luke will tear it down. He’s done a few polls of Alton survivors- there’s not many of us rounded up- YET- but several of us, including me, like the idea of razing that shit to the ground and re-building the gayest camp the Allagash Wilderness has ever seen- and let kids come there in the summer. Gay kids? Other kids? Luke doesn’t know yet. But it’s beautiful land, for those who didn’t go through the things I did. It should be enjoyed, and it should be a gay as fuck place- just to exorcise those homophobic vibes.
I just now blew a long breath out, and Miller’s eyes looked for mine in the rearview mirror. I gave him a smile and a thumbs up. I held up this journal, and his eyes got kind of wide. He knows what this journal is. He’s read those entries from a long time ago. He knows everything about me now. And he loves every part of me.
He was the first one to love some of the parts. For a few months I didn’t see it- but Greeley said they thought I had a lot of anger built up towards myself. For how I treated Josh when we met. For- being fucked up or whatever.
I told Josh they said that, and he said he thought so too. He kept saying how there’s nothing to forgive. How he understood, and it’s all in the past. And he thinks I’m a good person. As trite as it sounds, I think he helped me feel that way too.
I should go up there with him, sit in the front passenger seat and hold his hand. We’ll be to the Alton sign in a few minutes- at least I think we will be. Then I’ll have to lead him through the gates of hell and show him where to park.
I hope I can do it. Scratch that- I know I can. I’ve been working with Greeley on this for months, and I’ve talked to Luke about what to expect when we arrive.
They used my room again for other kids, but he said no one seems to’ve used that closet. I know cops and other people have been in there, but- I want to go myself. I need to see it one more time before this place gets torn down. And when they tear it down? I’m going to fly back up and tear that closet out first. Luke said I could do it. It seems kind of cheesy, but I think I want to.
I’ve done so much press at this point- talking about conversion therapy. Mostly print media, because I’m still a little shy about TV. But, shit, I’ll drag a magazine crew up here for the big tearing down. I want everyone to know how much this shit sucks.
Truth? I think the only reason I can talk about it is because Mills usually comes with me. He’s a pre-nurse major. Mills is gonna be a fucking psych nurse. He jokes that he’ll always be around to calm me down. We’re at a place where my issues are funny.
Yeah- it’s like that with us.
Damn, I’m pretty sure I see the Alton sign there up ahead now. Miller just now looked back in the rearview mirror. I can feel him wanting me up in the front beside him. Worrying and caring about me.
I’ve got the best boyfriend on planet earth. One day soon I’m gonna put a ring on it.
Ok, I’ve gotta go guide Miller down the road. But it’ll all be okay. I know that for sure now.
* * *
Josh
June 16, 2020
Hi, Ezra’s journal. Or should I say HEY. I flipped to the middle, and I hope he won’t mind. I don’t think he’ll mind.
We did it. We went to Alton, and we had keys, so we went in the cabins and the building that was once a prison- and after that, in recent times, more of a torture chamber.
Ezra left a note in one of the clinic rooms from Riley. Inside the note, there was a picture of her and her girlfriend, both flipping the camera off, with real short fingernails. Ha.
We went into the closet. It was pretty fucking awful. We laid down on the floor together, since that was always what he wanted most. For someone to come and hold him. So I did. I think as long as I live, I won’t ever feel as useful as I did at that moment. Like I was born so I could hold him in that awful place and make it all a little better. And I did. We stayed there until he felt ready to go.
Now we’re writing about Alton’s demise in the Alton-issued journal.
Now I’m leaving you a love note, Ez. You’re the strongest, best, and most determined person I know. Or will ever know. I love you so much, there’s no good words that really say it in the way I feel it. I’ve got plans for how to show you. How to tell you. Not just once, but for forever. Starting with some ink tomorrow- to make my chest look like yours. And maybe ending with some white gold or some platinum. Our own shoe closet. Maybe we’ll move to Denver sometime like you used to think about when you were younger. Maybe California. Now that your ankle’s healed up, you could play for any NFL team. I’ll be your private nurse and you can be my teacher. Always. For infinity. Okay?
For now, you’re sleeping, warm beside me in our little RV, and it’s still dark. Life feels good and quiet and peaceful.
So I think I’ll sleep, too.
∞
THE END
Hungover from Josh and Ezra and craving another emotional MM read?
Start Luke and Vance’s steamy, forbidden romance, which begins with Worship.
Pre-order Dom Bryant’s book, Watch for Me, the first book in an all-new MM series. Pay no attention to the pre-order date—it’s just a placeholder for now, and this book is next in my lineup.
Acknowledgments
Well, you made it! Did you make it? Do you need therapy now?
I don’t remember how I got the idea for Miller and Ezra’s story, but when I got it, sometime in mid-2020, it came to me almost fully formed. Dramatic, tragic…forbidden. Sexy and sad. It sounded like my kind of thing! (Unsurprising, since it came from my brain – haha).
At the time, I didn’t pay much mind to the idea of…you know…actually writing the story. When I finally did sit down to write it, after finishing Communion in late April, I figured I could get it done in maybe 100,000 words. It would be long, yes, and with a lot of moving parts, but not that long.
Since one of our guys first appears as the lost boy in Communion, I set up the pre-order around that same time, and then I started writing. And writing. And writing. And…writing.
I quickly realized what I really had was two books—maybe even three—but since the book was up for pre-order and people had already paid for what they thought was a complete novel, I endeavored to deliver that.
Trying to prep a story this long for release in one volume was not the easiest—to say the least. I would never have been able to do it without significant editing and developmental assistance from my dear friend and book whisperer Katherine Caron, and from the always-wonderful romance genre expert Keri, of Keri Loves Books. These two are the OG champions of all things Josh and Ezra, and this story’s real angels. Every word of this book has benefitted from their generosity, expertise, and general TLC (as has the book’s author). ;)
I’ve been so fortunate with this release to have several sharp-eyed proof readers slogging through my early files, including Beth Swain, Cynthia Begley, Mary of baths_books_and_bliss, Julia AKA bookish.jka, Erica of first_books_then_coffee, and several more who are proofing this version of the book for the always-inevitable re-upload. Thank you so much for your time, energy, and enthusiasm.
Also, a big thank you to my good friend and daily sprinting partner J.R. Gray, who formatted Ezra’s letters as well as this file, and also kept me motivated to write!
I continue to be grateful for many dear friends who keep me sane and feeling supported on an always basis (you know who you are), plus my publishing team, which includes my agent Rebecca Friedman, the team at Audible, and Candi from Candi Kane PR. And my private group, Ella’s Elite.
I’m so fortunate to be able to do what I love for a living. Thanks to everyone who makes that possible.
Want to keep in touch? Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.subscribepage.com/EllaJamesNews
About the Author
Ella James is the USA Today and Amazon Top 10 bestselling author of more than twenty novels. Ella writes emotional, hard-won love stories with steam, suspense, and Kindle-throwing twists.
Sign up for Ella’s newsletter at https://www.subscribepage.com/EllaJamesNews and join Ella’s Elite reader group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/EllasEliteTeam/. Questions or comments? Tweet Ella at @author_ellaj or e-mail Ella at ellafjames@gmail.com.
Interested in the rights for one of Ella’s books? Contact Rebecca Friedman, at rebecca@rfliterary.com.
James, Ella, Wrath: A Sinful Secrets Romance
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I kiss his forehead. “Always.”
“Go slow with him,” Mills says. “Don’t let yourself feel pressured.”
“Are we having ‘the talk’, Dad?” I tease.
He stands up so he can hug me tight and kiss my cheek. His hand strokes my back. “I’m so damn proud of you, Ez. All the work that you’ve been doing…”
He must mean in therapy. I kiss his lips. “I love you more.”
“I’ve got your V-Day when this guy leaves.” Mills cups himself, and I get one more hug before I hustle to the door, pulling it open for a short, slim guy with black glasses, a paisley button-up, and gray slacks with what I think are…
“Doc Martens?”
He looks down. “Nice eye,” he says. He looks so nerdy in the glasses. He seems shy as I beckon him in. He seems so shy, I end up making tea for him and trying to make him feel at ease. When he says he likes my apartment, I take a deep breath and say, “Actually, it’s our apartment. Well, not really. It’s my boyfriend Josh’s. But I basically live here with him.”
Dirk’s eyes widen over the rim of his teacup, and I can’t help laughing.
“There weren’t any rumors,” he says, blinking, wide-eyed. “I saw nothing about this in all my digging. Heard nothing.”
I shrug. “Some people on campus know. And on the team. Maybe no one wanted to share it. Anyway, my boyfriend Josh is here. He’ll probably be out in a few minutes.”
Mills is clearly listening, because he’s out within one minute. He’s wearing a button-up and khaki pants and looking like the most gorgeous guy on the planet with his dark hair curling slightly on his forehead and his blue eyes and that smile. Polite and kind, as ever.
“Hi,” he says—and I make a note to rag on him for saying “hi” to our New York Times reporter. “I’m Josh Miller.”
“The boyfriend,” I tack on.
Dirk’s blond brows furrow, and he looks from Josh to me. “I have you down as the stepbrother.”
Miller’s face is priceless. He arches a brow and gives Dirk a wicked little grin without missing a beat. He says, “I’m that, too.”
Dirk’s hand goes to his cheek, and he mimes a swoon. “This story is getting interesting. Sorry to be glib.” He laughs, and I take Miller’s hand and lead him to the loveseat.
“It’s okay to be glib. We’re stepbrother fuckers. We’re okay with glib.”
“I won’t quote you on that,” Dirk laughs.
Miller squeezes my hand, and we all sober some as the reporter gets into what he’s really here to do. He’s here to do a so-called “human interest” profile on me—Ezra Masters, the Bama quarterback—but it’s one that will be tied into a big story the Times is doing about conversion therapy. Alongside the larger investigative piece, which is actually a four-part series, there’ll be a story about Alton. How the place closed at the end of January—under legal pressure following a victims’ lawsuit. A lawsuit financed by Evermore United Church, and one that has my name on it. A lawsuit that might not wrap before the FBI starts making arrests; Luke says those are coming soon, but I’m not telling Dirk that.
“We can do the profile on you and not link it to the series on conversion therapy,” Dirk tells me now. “I mean, my editor will be miffed with me since you said you were okay with it, but I’m willing to do that,” he says. “You don’t have to talk about it. After I leave here, I’m going to give you a day or two to change your mind. So you have time to think about it.”
I tell him I don’t need that. “I’m going to Pastor Luke’s church, Evermore, this summer. I’m not that religious, but they’re doing stuff there for survivors.” I say the word without a wobble in my voice, and I feel proud. “Everyone will know I’m out there, being part of that. I already have an interview with ESPN planned for next week. As soon as the suit got filed three weeks ago, they called me.”
“So you’re ready,” he says.
“Yeah.” I squeeze Miller’s hand. “We’re both ready.”
“You want to come out in the New York Times?” Dirk makes a bug-eyed face like he thinks we’re insane.
“Umm…” I laugh, and Josh says, “We do. We’re both out to everybody personal. I told my dad last week, and that went okay,” he says.
Dirk asks—discreetly, and with hesitation—if the football program is okay with it, and I’m relieved to tell him I came out to them after the Rose Bowl.
“Ahh,” he says. “Because Josh went out on the field.” His eyes widen. “I need to hear that story.”
I refill his tea three times over the course of our story. It’s not the whole story, but I hit most of the high points. I’ve been rehearsing what to say about Alton, so I know how much I want to reveal and which parts I’d rather keep private. By the time he’s wrapping up, he’s got three crumpled tissues in his lap, but he looks…brighter.
“This is all very inspiring. I don’t mean that as a platitude. Just…the amount of courage it takes to speak about this rather than keeping it hidden. You didn’t have to add your name onto the lawsuit.”
I nod. I think of myself on TV sometime in the future, talking about Alton. On a talk show or something. Telling people that conversion therapy is like torture. It makes my stomach nose-dive, but I breathe slowly and the feeling goes away.
“I didn’t have to. I know. But I want to.”
Dirk smiles at me, and then Josh. “Why do I have the feeling he’s just getting started?”
Miller wraps an arm around me, squeezing tight. “Because he is.”
Two
Ezra
June 16, 2020
I think I’ve come full circle. It doesn’t look the way I thought it would.
What’s my view? I’m on a bed with a big window right beside me. Out the window, trees are streaming by, dappled in sunlight but mostly in the forest’s shadow.
I’m not in a school bus this time, but an RV. And the driver? My Josh Miller. I’m looking at the back of his head- the way his hair sticks out underneath my peach ball cap, which he pulled on this morning when we woke up in Portland, Maine, beside a lighthouse.
The sun was so bright on the water, we both needed caps. I’ve gotten kind of fond of his old camouflage one. Miller usually takes the peach, which I think suits him. He’s got a juicy peach, and also- is a peach. Nobody sweeter than Josh Miller. Even when his only shower for two days has been the ocean and I’m pretty sure he’s got sand in his butt from…things that happened behind some rocks.
Anyway- we’re going back to Alton. I am. Miller’s never been, of course. But we can both go there now, and we can go alone. Because-
Luke owns this place now.
Yeah. It feels weird to even write that. Luke McDowell bought Alton. Actually, his church’s charity, The Rainbow Initiative, bought it. The sale just went through about ten days ago. Miller and I had planned to take the summer off from school and do the RV thing- start on the East Coast, head up, cut across the Midwest and dip down into Yellowstone, then onto Evermore to be there for the first of the conversion therapy survivor groups. We got our RV early, though, so we could be the first ones here since the police did their thing.
The place is guarded by private security. For the next year or so, Alton is just going to sit and collect dust, while we wait to see if the court will want evidence from there. Once all that is over- we’re not sure yet, but the thought is maybe Luke will tear it down. He’s done a few polls of Alton survivors- there’s not many of us rounded up- YET- but several of us, including me, like the idea of razing that shit to the ground and re-building the gayest camp the Allagash Wilderness has ever seen- and let kids come there in the summer. Gay kids? Other kids? Luke doesn’t know yet. But it’s beautiful land, for those who didn’t go through the things I did. It should be enjoyed, and it should be a gay as fuck place- just to exorcise those homophobic vibes.
I just now blew a long breath out, and Miller’s eyes looked for mine in the rearview mirror. I gave him a smile and a thumbs up. I held up this journal, and his eyes got kind of wide. He knows what this journal is. He’s read those entries from a long time ago. He knows everything about me now. And he loves every part of me.
He was the first one to love some of the parts. For a few months I didn’t see it- but Greeley said they thought I had a lot of anger built up towards myself. For how I treated Josh when we met. For- being fucked up or whatever.
I told Josh they said that, and he said he thought so too. He kept saying how there’s nothing to forgive. How he understood, and it’s all in the past. And he thinks I’m a good person. As trite as it sounds, I think he helped me feel that way too.
I should go up there with him, sit in the front passenger seat and hold his hand. We’ll be to the Alton sign in a few minutes- at least I think we will be. Then I’ll have to lead him through the gates of hell and show him where to park.
I hope I can do it. Scratch that- I know I can. I’ve been working with Greeley on this for months, and I’ve talked to Luke about what to expect when we arrive.
They used my room again for other kids, but he said no one seems to’ve used that closet. I know cops and other people have been in there, but- I want to go myself. I need to see it one more time before this place gets torn down. And when they tear it down? I’m going to fly back up and tear that closet out first. Luke said I could do it. It seems kind of cheesy, but I think I want to.
I’ve done so much press at this point- talking about conversion therapy. Mostly print media, because I’m still a little shy about TV. But, shit, I’ll drag a magazine crew up here for the big tearing down. I want everyone to know how much this shit sucks.
Truth? I think the only reason I can talk about it is because Mills usually comes with me. He’s a pre-nurse major. Mills is gonna be a fucking psych nurse. He jokes that he’ll always be around to calm me down. We’re at a place where my issues are funny.
Yeah- it’s like that with us.
Damn, I’m pretty sure I see the Alton sign there up ahead now. Miller just now looked back in the rearview mirror. I can feel him wanting me up in the front beside him. Worrying and caring about me.
I’ve got the best boyfriend on planet earth. One day soon I’m gonna put a ring on it.
Ok, I’ve gotta go guide Miller down the road. But it’ll all be okay. I know that for sure now.
* * *
Josh
June 16, 2020
Hi, Ezra’s journal. Or should I say HEY. I flipped to the middle, and I hope he won’t mind. I don’t think he’ll mind.
We did it. We went to Alton, and we had keys, so we went in the cabins and the building that was once a prison- and after that, in recent times, more of a torture chamber.
Ezra left a note in one of the clinic rooms from Riley. Inside the note, there was a picture of her and her girlfriend, both flipping the camera off, with real short fingernails. Ha.
We went into the closet. It was pretty fucking awful. We laid down on the floor together, since that was always what he wanted most. For someone to come and hold him. So I did. I think as long as I live, I won’t ever feel as useful as I did at that moment. Like I was born so I could hold him in that awful place and make it all a little better. And I did. We stayed there until he felt ready to go.
Now we’re writing about Alton’s demise in the Alton-issued journal.
Now I’m leaving you a love note, Ez. You’re the strongest, best, and most determined person I know. Or will ever know. I love you so much, there’s no good words that really say it in the way I feel it. I’ve got plans for how to show you. How to tell you. Not just once, but for forever. Starting with some ink tomorrow- to make my chest look like yours. And maybe ending with some white gold or some platinum. Our own shoe closet. Maybe we’ll move to Denver sometime like you used to think about when you were younger. Maybe California. Now that your ankle’s healed up, you could play for any NFL team. I’ll be your private nurse and you can be my teacher. Always. For infinity. Okay?
For now, you’re sleeping, warm beside me in our little RV, and it’s still dark. Life feels good and quiet and peaceful.
So I think I’ll sleep, too.
∞
THE END
Hungover from Josh and Ezra and craving another emotional MM read?
Start Luke and Vance’s steamy, forbidden romance, which begins with Worship.
Pre-order Dom Bryant’s book, Watch for Me, the first book in an all-new MM series. Pay no attention to the pre-order date—it’s just a placeholder for now, and this book is next in my lineup.
Acknowledgments
Well, you made it! Did you make it? Do you need therapy now?
I don’t remember how I got the idea for Miller and Ezra’s story, but when I got it, sometime in mid-2020, it came to me almost fully formed. Dramatic, tragic…forbidden. Sexy and sad. It sounded like my kind of thing! (Unsurprising, since it came from my brain – haha).
At the time, I didn’t pay much mind to the idea of…you know…actually writing the story. When I finally did sit down to write it, after finishing Communion in late April, I figured I could get it done in maybe 100,000 words. It would be long, yes, and with a lot of moving parts, but not that long.
Since one of our guys first appears as the lost boy in Communion, I set up the pre-order around that same time, and then I started writing. And writing. And writing. And…writing.
I quickly realized what I really had was two books—maybe even three—but since the book was up for pre-order and people had already paid for what they thought was a complete novel, I endeavored to deliver that.
Trying to prep a story this long for release in one volume was not the easiest—to say the least. I would never have been able to do it without significant editing and developmental assistance from my dear friend and book whisperer Katherine Caron, and from the always-wonderful romance genre expert Keri, of Keri Loves Books. These two are the OG champions of all things Josh and Ezra, and this story’s real angels. Every word of this book has benefitted from their generosity, expertise, and general TLC (as has the book’s author). ;)
I’ve been so fortunate with this release to have several sharp-eyed proof readers slogging through my early files, including Beth Swain, Cynthia Begley, Mary of baths_books_and_bliss, Julia AKA bookish.jka, Erica of first_books_then_coffee, and several more who are proofing this version of the book for the always-inevitable re-upload. Thank you so much for your time, energy, and enthusiasm.
Also, a big thank you to my good friend and daily sprinting partner J.R. Gray, who formatted Ezra’s letters as well as this file, and also kept me motivated to write!
I continue to be grateful for many dear friends who keep me sane and feeling supported on an always basis (you know who you are), plus my publishing team, which includes my agent Rebecca Friedman, the team at Audible, and Candi from Candi Kane PR. And my private group, Ella’s Elite.
I’m so fortunate to be able to do what I love for a living. Thanks to everyone who makes that possible.
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About the Author
Ella James is the USA Today and Amazon Top 10 bestselling author of more than twenty novels. Ella writes emotional, hard-won love stories with steam, suspense, and Kindle-throwing twists.
Sign up for Ella’s newsletter at https://www.subscribepage.com/EllaJamesNews and join Ella’s Elite reader group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/EllasEliteTeam/. Questions or comments? Tweet Ella at @author_ellaj or e-mail Ella at ellafjames@gmail.com.
Interested in the rights for one of Ella’s books? Contact Rebecca Friedman, at rebecca@rfliterary.com.
James, Ella, Wrath: A Sinful Secrets Romance
