The Second Chance of Benjamin Waterfalls, page 18
“That’s why I came here … But there’s something else now.”
“You want to be a superhero?” she says, with sparks of excitement behind each word.
“I don’t need to be a superhero. At least not yet. I just don’t want to be a villain anymore.”
“Well then, Benny. What do you need?” she asks.
“Directions to Lulu’s house and Hank’s house,” I say. “And I need to borrow your bike.”
Niimi pulls out her notepad and writes down the directions, then stuffs them into my pocket.
“Your fight has begun. Remember, fear is a coward,” she says, and points to her bike, which is waiting for me near the front door. “Good luck.”
CHAPTER 20
MIIGAAZO DIBIKAD (FIGHT NIGHT)
Back in Duluth, my mom never lets me ride my bike alone this late at night. She’d flip out if she knew I were doing it now. But I’m on a mission. And after thirty minutes of riding through the blistering cold, I finally reach Lulu’s house. I hop off the bike and approach the front door. But before I knock, fear grips my chest. I know she’s going to be pissed. She’ll probably punch me in the nose, for real this time.
Maybe I can just leave the mic on the doorstep? She’ll get it back, and isn’t that the point?
No! I need to come clean. I never should have taken it in the first place. Lulu was cool to me, and I stole from her. She deserves the truth. But as I raise my fist to knock, I see my shadow. It’s standing exactly where it should be; still, something about it is off … It’s moving … but I’m not. What the heck? Goose bumps run up and down my spine, causing my whole body to shiver.
You’re not starting to believe in this be-a-good-person crap, are you, Benny? a voice asks.
Was that my voice? It sounded like me. But I didn’t speak. “Who said that?” I ask, and look all around me … No one is there. Then it hits me … It’s my freaking shadow, and it is speaking to me. This voice is the villain inside my head.
Let’s just keep it and sell it. We’re leaving tomorrow anyway.
“I need to do this,” I say.
They all think you’re a loser, Benny … But I don’t. I’ll never leave you.
“SHUT UP!” I shout. “You’re just trying to scare me.” And what did Niimi say about fear? Fear is a coward. I just need to confront it.
I take a step forward, toward my shadow. It grows bigger, but I refuse to be afraid, “I’m not listening to you anymore.”
Suddenly the porch light shines on. Now my shadow is just a regular shadow. The voice is gone. That was intense. Lulu opens her front door. “Is someone out there?” she asks.
“It’s me … Benny.”
“Benny? What are you doing here?”
“I have something for you,” I say.
“Who is it, Lu?” a voice shouts from inside.
“Just some … kid I know,” she shouts back.
She turns back to me. “Come in. It’s freezing out,” Lulu says to me.
A few steps in, and I see her apartment hasn’t changed. There are still rows of seats, each filled with a stuffed animal, but there’s also a human in the front row. I immediately wonder if this person was a stuffed animal moments ago.
“Benny, this is Dessa,” she says to me. “Dessa, this is that kid I was telling you about,” Lulu says to her.
“The kid that nicked you the shirt?” Dessa asks.
“That’s me,” I say.
Dessa is just as punk-rock-looking as Lulu, maybe more so. Her torn-up shirt hangs off her shoulders, exposing her dark skin, which glistens as she moves. Oh, that’s glitter. A nose ring sparkles atop her left nostril and her hair is shaved on one side, and the side with hair is slicked back in tight black rows. She may be the coolest-looking person I have ever seen.
“Why is he looking at me like that?” Dessa asks.
“Don’t worry about it—he was crushing on me too,” Lulu says.
I snap out of my daze, “Sorry. I…”
“Have something to give me?” Lulu reminds me.
“Yes. I do,” I say.
Ugh. It will be a proper beatdown. Two against one. The punk rockers versus the thief. They are both going to attack me the moment I do what I got to do … But I got to do it … So, here it goes. I’m doing it.
I reach into my backpack and pull out the microphone. Lulu’s eyes widen. Dessa stands up. Wow, she’s tall. Long legs to kick me with.
“I stole this from you,” I say, and extend it to Lulu.
Her eyes narrow in on me. “Why?”
“Because when I met you, it’s what I did … But now I want to be a bad boy but a good person. Like you said. I’m sorry for stealing it,” I say, and close my eyes, waiting for the punch. But … it doesn’t come.
I open my eyes. Lulu is just staring at the microphone. Her eyes are welled up, about to break. Her hand reaches up and takes it from me. “This was from my mother. It took her three paychecks to afford it. I was so afraid of losing it that I keep it behind glass,” she says, beginning to cry.
Dessa approaches her and wraps her arms around Lulu. “Her mother stopped speaking to her two years ago,” Dessa says to me.
“Why?” I ask.
“She hasn’t accepted who her daughter is,” Dessa says.
“Yet … But she will,” Lulu adds.
“I…” There’s nothing I can say right now. I can’t imagine not speaking to my mom for two years. How sad. “If you want to punch me, I’d understand,” I say.
Lulu wipes her tears away. “Punch you?” she says, and wraps her arms around me. “Thank you,” she cries while squeezing me tightly.
Wait. Did she seriously just thank me? This place has taught me how unpredictable some people can be. Maybe she isn’t mad at me because, in the end, her microphone is now back where it belongs, in her hands. “How’s the singing going?”
“It’s getting there. Little by little.”
“Baby steps,” Dessa says. “She almost got a whole verse out in front of our neighbor this afternoon.”
“Then I froze. I tried to picture him as a cow. I asked him to moo. It was awkward,” Lulu says.
“We’re works in progress,” I say, and feel something I don’t remember ever feeling before. What is this? It’s warm. It feels right. Is this what giving feels like?
I look around the crowd and stare at all the stuffed animal faces. I know Lulu saw them move. Even if it can’t be explained, I know it was real. Just like the wolf with Alex. Just like the bear with me. Some things don’t have to make sense. I’ve learned that. I walk toward the front door. “I hope I see you again someday, Lulu.”
“Well, if you don’t see me, you’ll definitely hear me,” Lulu says, and smiles.
Lulu looks so happy holding her microphone in one hand and Dessa’s hand in the other. Her smile. Her wild eyes. Does it feel like this every time you do something good? No wonder people want to help people. This feels amazing.
“I know I will,” I say, and walk out of Lulu’s home.
I race down the steps and reach Niimi’s bike. This is a new kind of adrenaline. I like it.
But this good feeling is suddenly eclipsed by another new feeling. It must be so hard to do this every single day for so many people while you’re dealing with your own life. How does Niimi keep it all together? She inherited the role to bloom the people of Grand Portage. But doesn’t she want to do kid stuff too? Doesn’t she want to hang out with friends? What if she just wants to goof around and go to the movies or ice skating? Shouldn’t she be back in school with everyone else her age? Has anyone asked her what she wants? It must be so heavy. All that pressure. All that responsibility. All of that while missing her mom.
A cold breeze swoops down and sends chills throughout my body, reminding me I need to get moving. I don’t have much time left.
I hop onto Niimi’s bike and pull out the directions to Hank’s house. As I read them, another breeze passes through me, standing up all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck. It wasn’t just chilled breeze, there was a bit of fear mixed in there. Hank is a hunter. Hank has a gun. I stole from him.
I ride toward his house, but with each pedal, I’m not thinking about Hank or his gun, or Wendy and her missing necklace, or my mom or dad or George … I’m thinking about Niimi again. And not because I want her to save my butt by telling everyone I’m blooming, but I’m thinking about her because after tomorrow, I’m no longer going to be around her, and that sends a strange pain into my gut. And even though I can be quite difficult, I like who I am when I’m around her, or at least, I like who I am becoming. But that’s not just it. The truth is, I like her. She’s funny and strange and tries so hard to make everyone around her feel better. But after tomorrow, she’ll be here, and I’ll probably be back in Duluth.
A half hour later, I finally reach Hank’s house. I am pretty much an ice pop now. I don’t know how I’m going to make it home being this cold, but I’ll worry about that after I give this compass back.
His house is run-down and small. The shell of a rusted car with no interior sits in the front yard. Two large, tattered American flags protrude from the porch roof. The grass is dead, yellow, and covered in car parts. I’m starting to think this car may have exploded right here on the lawn.
I climb off the bike and lean it against the gate in front of the house.
I approach the front door. Here goes everything. But before I knock, I see movement from within the house through the window. I peer over to it, to get a better look. Inside, I see Hank and his son, Alex, playing in the living room. Alex wears a red towel like a cape and stands on the couch, shouting down to his father, who is sitting on the carpet, wearing a small trash can on his head. I can’t hear what Alex is saying, but he’s holding an aluminum foil sword high into the air and is laughing in between each of his words.
When Hank growls and lifts his arms like a monster, Alex leaps off the couch and lands on his father, tackling him. Together, they both roll around the carpet as Alex slices and dices his trash-can-monster-dad’s chest and belly. And even though I can’t hear their words to each other, their laughter sneaks under the window frame and travels out to me. It’s a laughter I once had with my dad. Father and son time. That was my favorite part of my day. A part of me wants to hop through the window and join in on the monster slaying, but this is Alex’s time. He’s worked hard for it. He just got his father back.
My mom was a pretty good monster to tackle in my dad’s absence. She tried really hard to be two parents at once. The fun one and the strict one. The cook and the playmate. The one to tuck me in and the one to wake me up. Wow. My mom did it all on her own. That sounds like a superpower to me. And how did I thank her? I went out and got into trouble, no matter how hard she tried to steer me clear from it. I refused to listen. And she even sent me here, as a last shot to straighten me out. I can’t screw this up. I owe it to my mom to be the best version of myself.
I knock on the door, and two seconds later I hear a child’s feet shuffling through the house to the door. I take a deep breath and try not to think of Hank as a hunter, but Hank as a fun trash-can-head monster dad instead. “People change,” I whisper to myself as the door opens.
Alex sees me and smiles. “Benny!”
“It’s me. Can I talk to your dad really quick?” I ask.
“Dad!” Alex shouts.
Hank approaches and stands behind his son, towering over him at the doorway. “Did she send you to check up on us already?” Hank asks. “We’re doing just fine.”
That would be an easy out. I could say yes and leave, but I’m done looking for the easy way out. “No. I came here to give you something,” I say.
“Okay, come in. You’ll freeze your toes off out here,” he says, and widens the door enough for me to enter.
“I can’t stay. It’s late, and I am leaving tomorrow, but before I go, I need to do this,” I say.
“Do what?”
I reach into my backpack and pull out his compass. His eyes focus on it, but slowly rise to meet mine.
“Isn’t that grandpa’s compass, Dad?” Alex says.
“It is,” he tells his son. “How do you have it?”
“I stole it from you,” I say.
Hank’s eyes narrow in on me. He rubs his chin. I bet he’s thinking about knocking my lights out, but hopefully he won’t, not with his kid watching. “Why?” he asks.
There’s no reason why I steal from people. No good reason, at least. “I don’t know why. Maybe because…”
“Maybe because he was lost, Daddy. He needed it. But now he found his way home, and he’s here to give it back, right?” Alex says to his father.
“Yeah, Alex. You’re so smart. I think he was lost. Looks like he and I both found our way back home,” Hank says, and takes the compass from my hand.
Thanks, kid. You may have just saved my nose from a lot of pain.
“Alex, why don’t you start setting up that fort we talked about. I’m just going to say bye to our friend here, okay?”
“Okay. Bye,” Alex says to me.
“Oh Alex, before you go, I have something for you too,” I say, and pull the stuffed bear out of my backpack. “This guy needs a home.”
Alex takes the stuffed bear and hugs me. I don’t think I’ve ever been hugged by a kid before. They are bony little creatures.
As Alex runs off with his bear, Hank takes a step toward me. Oh, no. Here’s comes the punch. Here comes the headlock. The choke hold. I close my eyes and pray he does it quick … But just like the slug to the nose by Lulu that never came, neither does this one. Instead, I open my eyes and see he is holding out his hand to me. Seriously?
I nervously extend mine, and we shake hands. His grip is strong. He could easily crush my fingers if he wanted to … But he doesn’t. He is smiling. “Second chances. They’re lifesavers, aren’t they?” he says.
“Yes. They really are,” I say.
“Take care, kid,” Hank says, and releases my hand.
He closes the door and goes back to playing with his son.
Another warm feeling fills my body. It’s not the rush of blood that stealing used to give me or the happy feeling that giving now gives me. It’s a different one. It’s a calmness inside of me that makes my entire body smile. This is what being given a second chance feels like.
CHAPTER 21
AKAWE OJIIM (FIRST KISS)
I slept with all three dogs piled onto me, and I’ll admit, although I now smell like dog, they kept me incredibly warm through the night. I might be leaving today. It’s strange. Last night began with me trying to do something good so I wouldn’t be sent back to the judge, but after seeing the bottle tree in full bloom, I stopped caring what was going to happen to me, and it became all about what I could do for Lulu, Hank, Alex, and Niimi. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m turning into a superhero or anything. I don’t feel physically different. I feel like I just returned a few stolen items. That’s all. That doesn’t make me good; it just makes me less bad. But being less bad is a good start, right?
After I get dressed, I sit on the bed and think about the stuffed bear that started all of this. I still don’t know our connection. My dad asked if I remembered it. I don’t. So many parts of my childhood are behind locked doors, buried somewhere deep inside of me. I hope Niimi comes to tell my dad and Wendy what I did last night. Even if it doesn’t save me from the judge, I’d still like them to know that somehow my trip to Grand Portage helped me. Because it did. I don’t want to steal from people anymore. Life is hard enough, and the last thing anyone needs is some punk taking things from them. I now realize what Wendy meant when she said every time I steal from someone, I steal from everyone. Because trust gets stolen. And without trust, we really do have nothing.
My dad opens the door and enters. I guess he came to wake me up and make sure I’m ready to go to the bus station. “Hey, Benny. How was your sleep?” he asks.
“I dreamt I was wrestling three smelly dogs over the blanket all night. Oh, wait, that really happened,” I say.
He laughs. “They like you. They don’t just cuddle with anyone, ya know.”
Small talk, okay, so he is nervous too. “I know you think I let you down, Dad, but before I leave today, I hope you’ll see I have changed, at least a little bit,” I say.
“We let each other down, Benny. I guess you and I have more in common than you’d like to admit, huh?” he asks.
He sits down beside me. I know he thinks I am a thief and all I did while I was here was steal from people, and he’s partly right, but something inside of me wants to tell him I am so much more than that now. I want to tell him that for the first time in seven years, I feel good.
“Everyone tells me you’re this great guy now,” I say. “But I have no idea who I am.”
He smiles. “That’s called being human. We’ll spend our whole lives trying to figure out who we are. No one gets it right. No one’s perfect. These things take time. No one becomes a strong oak overnight. But you got to plant the seed to one day get there. The trick is to take it day by day. And hey, whoever you choose to be, you are stuck with you. Might as well be someone you like being around,” he says and places his hand on my knee.
“That’s gonna be hard. I’ve heard I’m a pain in the neck.”
He chuckles and removes his hand. “Speaking of necks, Wendy would really appreciate getting her necklace back. She’s pretty distraught about it.”
There’s no use telling him I didn’t take it. I already have many times. “Did you talk to Niimi this morning?” I ask.
“No. But her father called last night. We had a good talk.”
Suddenly, a car door shuts rights outside the house. I hear Niimi shout goodbye to her father and a car drive off. Yes! She came!
Niimi enters the garage.
My dad stands up. “We’re going in a half hour. I’ll leave you two alone for a bit,” he says, and leaves the garage. If she’s here, she must not think of me as completely hopeless. And that must mean there is some good hiding somewhere in the corners of me, and she sees it—even if no one else does. I can’t wait to tell her I faced my villain. I told it to shut up and scram. I know that doesn’t make me a superhero, but I also know that means I am no longer the villain. And that is a relief.
