“I. Don’t. Have it.”

  Chapter 37

  The fog rolled in off the Pacific and the gulls circled above, crying their lonely calls. But Dia also saw the crows gathering on the rooftop of the building across the street. The carrion birds knew. They smelled imminent death.

  She sighed and arched her back, which did little to relieve the cramps in her arms and legs, bound to the chair as she was. Shiva had her facing the window, allowing Dia a look into the building’s skeleton across the street. The girl had studied the crumbling, exposed concrete pillars that had been covered in graffiti but had since faded—like the rest of the world.

  The sun had yet to rise and fight off the mist, but the moisture clung to her face, plastering her hair to her cheek. At some point in the night, Shiva had taken Willie away, presumably into another room. If the woman suspected she could use him as leverage over her, Dia imagined he was bound to a chair in another room just like her.

  The smell of woodsmoke and roasting game wafted into the room and made Dia’s stomach hurt. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten, and it had been at least ten hours since she’d had any water. She knew from her time in the ruins that water was life, and even though she may have been hungry, her body needed hydration or it would begin to shut down.

  “Good morning.”

  “Where’s Willie?”

  “Safe. Well, maybe that’s not the right word. Contained.”

  “Alive?”

  “Of course.” Shiva walked around in front of Dia, chewing on roasted meat and holding a mug of steaming mushroom tea. “I’m not a monster.”

  Dia closed her eyes and smiled, preferring not to respond.

  “You know that I’ll outlast you. I’ve got food, water, a comfortable bedroll. How long can you sit in that chair?”

  “You can’t torture me.”

  “Torture? Is that what you think this is? Oh, Dia. Sometimes I swear you’re growing into a woman’s body, but you still have the mind of a child. I’m waiting for you to tell me what I want to know. You’ve seen the killing fields of Erehwon, the staked infants. You’ve seen what I’ve done to Los Muertos scum who threatened Venganza. This,” Shiva said, raising her mug, “this is just two old friends talking. And one eating.”

  “I won’t give it to you.”

  “You don’t have to. Tell me where you hid it in the ruins and I’ll go get it. And then I’ll untie you, reunite you with your friend, and go home. He is your friend, right? Or has he touched you…”

  “Go to hell.”

  Shiva laughed and sat on the windowsill of the broken window, the glass glittering at her feet like shattered lives.

  “I’m sure you’ve bled, haven’t you? Don’t think that man hasn’t noticed you. I know how men are.”

  “Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same.”

  “What is that supposed to mean? A veiled insult?”

  Dia shrugged. “Nothing veiled about it.”

  Shiva stared at Dia for a long moment, until the girl looked away.

  “I’m serious. I will skin that man alive and feed his raw flesh to you, one piece at a time. And if you think you’re not capable of cannibalism, just wait. Believe me when I say I will not let you die. I’ll feed you his body and blood. You’ll only wish you were dead.”

  “I took a sacred vow to keep that technology from you. That is what I plan to do.”

  “A sacred vow? Oh, you mean the manipulation done to you by that sacred cow? You can’t trust anything that woman said. You’ve been here, amongst the River Rangers and Los Muertos for a few weeks. I made you Venganza. Don’t talk to me about sacred vows.”

  Dia shut her mouth and closed her eyes.

  “Damn you!”

  Shiva stood, stomping her right foot down on Dia’s. She cried out, a few tears squeezing from the corners of her eyes.

  “I’m not fucking around. Tell me where you hid the journal before I lose it.”

  “No.”

  Shiva stepped back and called over her shoulder. “Bring him in.”

  Two Venganza warriors dragged Willie into the room, still strapped to a chair. Blood caked his face and beard, and he winced as they set him down facing Dia. She could smell urine and body odor. Willie’s right eye had swollen shut.

  “You’ve already started beating him?”

  “Not severely. At least not yet.”

  Shiva nodded and one of the Venganza reared back and punched Willie in the side of the face. His head snapped back and then dropped forward. He coughed and spit a wad of blood onto the floor.

  “Where is it?”

  “Don’t tell her.” Willie groaned, his hair hanging in front of his face.

  Shiva nodded again. The warrior struck Willie on the other side of his face, knocking his head around in the other direction.

  “Fuck you, bitch.”

  Shiva grabbed Willie by the hair and yanked his head up, exposing the white creases of his exposed neck. She took a dagger and placed the blade on his throat, pushing the sharpened edge into his skin—deep enough to draw crimson rivulets on the polished steel.

  “I said, fuck you. I’m not afraid of Venganza.”

  “I know you’re not.”

  “Then cut my throat.”

  Shiva laughed, and it chilled Dia more so than the morning mist filling the ruin’s empty canyons. “Oh, you’ll die. But not so cleanly. I’m going to skin you alive. One flayed piece at a time. And then I’m going to roast your skin over my fire and feed it to the girl.”

  “Stop,” Dia said.

  “I haven’t even started.” Shiva looked back at Willie. “You fucking pervert. You want to be inside of this girl, don’t you? You want to put your filthy, diseased cock in her. Don’t you?”

  Willie said nothing, his gaze as hard as Shiva’s blade.

  “Well, I’m going to make that happen.”

  Shiva put the knife on his arm and sliced off a patch of skin. Willie stifled a scream as the blood ran off his elbow and began to puddle on the floor.

  “We’ll cook this up and feed it to Dia. See, you’ll be inside of her after all!”

  “Don’t tell her, Dia. No matter what she does to me, don’t tell her. She’s going to kill me anyway and she’ll probably kill you.”

  She stepped back and punched Willie in the mouth. His head dropped and he fell silent, the blood still dripping off the arm she’d skinned.

  “Why does he care?” she asked Dia. “Why is he willing to give his life to keep the technology from me? Once I get it, I’m going home.”

  “You killed his clan. Everyone he knew and loved. I wouldn’t give you anything, either. Besides, he doesn’t know where I hid the journal, so torturing him is useless.”

  “I disagree. I need you alive and well because, if you don’t give me the journal, you’ll be my water whisperer again. But him,” she said, twirling her knife at Willie’s unconscious body, “he is expendable. Worthless.”

  “Fine,” Shiva said in the pause of the conversation. “You’re not thirsty enough and he hasn’t bled enough. I want to get home as soon as possible, but we can certainly spare some time to play. It appears as though you want to play. Enjoy.”

  Shiva waved her hand, and the guards came over and each grabbed a side of Willie’s chair, dragging him back out of the room and leaving Dia with her own thoughts and the puddle of Willie’s blood on the floor.

  Chapter 38

  “Let’s talk.”

  Dia raised her head and saw that Shiva had come back into the room, this time without her Venganza warriors. The sun had shifted, burning off the morning fog and warming the ruins. She had fallen asleep, her feet having gone tingly, sweat running down the side of her face as the afternoon had crept up on her.

  “About what?”

  “I want to go home. Don’t you want to go home, too?”

  Shiva leaned over and put a flask to Dia’s lips. The water felt like ice and tasted like heaven. The girl gulped twice before Shiva pulled it away and leaned against the wall next to the window.

  “It used to be a saying in the old days.”

  Dia waited.

  “Water is life. But it’s true, girl. It’s so true.” Shiva turned and put her hand on top of the window frame, leaning out and letting the ocean breeze push her hair off her face. “This place is tempting. Now I understand why California was so populated, why so many people spent their youth ‘California dreaming,’ but it doesn’t change our situation. We’re Venganza of Erehwon. Our people are back in Ohio, probably huddled in the ruins as that bitch winter blows across Erie from the north. That damn lake will freeze, and honestly, it might be a godsend. It means they won’t die from drinking the contaminated water. How disgusting is that?”

  “I’m not giving you the journal.”

  “C’mon. Can’t we just talk? There will be time for that later.” Shiva spun back around with a glint in her eye that almost convinced Dia the woman had a soul. “I know that we brought you into Venganza—that you’ve seen heavy violence perpetrated on your family, and that we chased you through the ruins when you were nothing but a child. But you’ve seen so much since then. You now understand why we had to subjugate Los Muertos, raise their girls and kill their boys. Shit. You’re living in the consequences of what those rich, white, male bastards did to our world. You understand why we did what we did, and why we had to protect what little viable water remained.”

  “But you horded water and controlled the supply because it suited you. It kept you alive.”

  “It kept all of us alive. Am I less of a person because I did what was best for myself and for the clan? How is that any different than what Los Muertos or the River Rangers did?”

  Dia shrugged, which brought a sharp cramp to her collarbone and turned her head to the side. “You’re killing for it. You’ve killed them for it.”

  “And they would have done the same to us. What do you think would have happened if Quinn led the River Rangers east to Erehwon, where we sat on clean water reserves? What do you think she would have done if I refused to hand over that water to the Rangers? You’re young, but you’re not stupid. You know exactly how that would have played out.”

  She thought about it, but Dia wasn’t sure. She didn’t think Quinn would have acted the way the leader of Erehwon had. Shiva had chased Hado, and had she caught her, she would have killed her. In essence, Shiva was responsible for Hado’s death anyway. The whispers, back-stabbing, and double-dealing that happened in Erehwon occurred because it was in Shiva’s best interest, not the clan’s.

  “I can’t trust you. I saw what you did to Hado.”

  “You need to forget Hado. Yes, she disgraced herself in the eyes of the Venganza and you were an unfortunate piece of collateral damage, but that’s over now. She’s dead and she could never come home. But you can. Don’t throw that away. Don’t be stubborn for the sake of these people who you barely know. You need to remember where your allegiance lies. You need to remember who it was that saved you from a miserable life eating rats and drinking your own piss in the bowels of the ruins.”

  Dia could feel the edge creeping into Shiva’s voice, her words cutting and drawing blood from her psyche. She had to be getting desperate, unable to convince the girl with rational arguments.

  “You bring destruction wherever you go.”

  “Hmph.” Shiva began to pace around the room. “You don’t know half the shit that has gone down in this world. You’re ignorant of the history. All you’ve ever known is a life in the ruins, so don’t you dare preach to me about bringing destruction. Did Hado ever tell you what happened in Arizona?”

  “No.”

  “The fuel in Tombstone, what those sons of bitches Los Muertos did to our people?”

  “No.”

  “No is right. You don’t know any of it. You’ve never heard the stories of clan warfare, murder, theft. All you’ve ever known is being a lone survivor and then living off the spoils and protection of other clans.” Shiva waved her hand, her face reddening. “First Venganza, and then these people.”

  “Quinn. Willie. Lane. Snowball. They treated me like a person. Not like some… tool.”

  “Oh, how sweet. They brought you into the clan, did they? I’m sure it had nothing to do with your age, the fact that you’re ripening into a body worthy of childbearing. I’m sure none of those men even considered that.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that you’re a fucking fool!” Shiva shouted now, standing over Dia and waving a finger in her face. “You were only six months away from being impregnated by any one of them.”

  “They wouldn’t have done that.”

  “I guess we’ll never know. Now, are you going to tell me where the journal is or not?”

  Dia felt tears forming. She sensed what was coming, the depths of desperation lacing Shiva’s words.

  “I can’t.”

  “Okay.”

  Shiva walked to the door. “Bring him in.”

  Dia shook. “No. Please don’t.”

  “It’s not up to me now, is it?”

  The Venganza warriors dragged Willie into the room. His greasy hair stuck to his face and his eyes sat like hunks of obsidian inside of a pale face. Willie took a deep breath, his lungs rattling with blood, pus, fluid, or all of the above. He smiled at Dia.

  “It’s okay. I don’t blame you for this.”

  “Let him go.”

  Shiva cackled. “I will. That’s a promise. You tell me where the journal is, and I cut him free. If you don’t, I’ll cut his throat. He’ll go, either way.”

  “It’s okay, girl. I’ve made my peace with my maker.”

  “Shut up.” Shiva smacked Willie across the face and then turned to Dia. “Your choice.”

  “It’s not your fault. This bitch will kill me anyway. Don’t tell her.”

  Shiva slapped him again before grabbing Dia’s face and squeezing.

  “Where is it?”

  Dia could no longer stop the tears. They flowed silently down her face and over Shiva’s hand. Dia shook her head.

  “Fine.” The woman stepped back, folded her arms, and smiled. She stuck her face out of the window again, drawing in a deep breath.

  “Don’t do this,” Dia said.

  “It’s already done.”

  Shiva took the knife from her hip. She grabbed Willie by the hair, yanked his head back, and drew the sharp edge across his throat. A thin crimson line appeared and then the blood flowed, but the whole time Willie smiled at Dia. His expression brought her a sense of sadness, responsibility, and relief all at the same time. In his own way, Dia thought, Willie had already welcomed death—and knew this was inevitable. His face gave her absolution, an attempt at relieving the guilt he likely knew she’d endure before it otherwise settled into her bones and rotted them away from the inside out.

  Shiva let go of his hair. Willie fell with the chair, face down, as his dying heart continued to pump blood onto the floor so that it expanded into a crimson pool at Dia’s feet.

  “Get him out of here. Start cutting off the good parts. The little bitch is going to get hungry.”

  The bitter smell of blood made Dia retch. Shiva leaned over, the murderous rage now gone—her eyes calm as she ran a gentle finger down the side of her captive’s face.

  “Yes. You are the water whisperer. But don’t think for a second I won’t do the same to you. If you won’t tell me where you’ve hidden the journal or you won’t willingly rejoin Venganza and come back to Erehwon with me—to save our people—I’ll do the same to you. Or worse.”

  Shiva and her warriors walked out of the room, leaving Dia with her tears, a pool of blood at her feet, and an ache in her heart.

  Chapter 39

  The second night crawled over the carcass of the first one. Slowly, smelling of rot and decomposition. Dia just wanted it all to be over. She didn’t want to have to listen to Shiva’s bullshit any longer. Didn’t want to have to wade through the distorted Venganza mythology.

  The moon crept overtop of the hill above the bay, bathing the ruins in a silver sheen. At least Shiva had faced her chair toward the window, where the moist, night breeze carried a hint of salt into the room.

  She hadn’t seen or heard any of the Venganza for hours. Shiva’s warriors had come back into the room several times throughout the day, but only to bring her a hunk of hardened bread and a cup of cloudy water. They hadn’t even given her the decency of pissing in the corner, so her pants were now cold, wet, and reeking of her own urine. Dia figured that Shiva would either cut her free or cut her throat soon, and therefore long-term concerns like food, water, and urination were not something to worry about.

  Despite the binds cutting her skin and numbing her extremities, Dia’s head began to droop. Her chin struck her chest and rattled her teeth, jarring her awake until her neck couldn’t support the weight of her head. Twice, three times. Had it been an hour between? Ten minutes? She couldn’t tell.

  “Feed. Feed. Feed.”

  The words slithered into the room on a boy’s whisper. Dia turned her head and felt a cramp in her neck electrify her shoulders and right arm. Could she be having auditory hallucinations?

  “You need it.”

  A shadow in the corner moved and, within seconds, the boy was standing before her with a twisted grin on his face. He looked like he was about to rape her or eat her—maybe both.

  “You. Need. Feed.”

  “Yes, Feto,” was all Dia could say.

  “Feed. Feed. Feed.”

  The feral child put the blade on Dia’s wrist and, with a flick so fast that she couldn’t see the blade, Feto cut the binds. He repeated the movement on her other hand and then on the binds around her ankles. She used her right hand to massage her left wrist, then stood up to test her legs.

  “How did you find me? Why are you here?”

  Feto took a step back and bowed. Dia giggled and then stood up, her legs like the bow of a ship in a storm. “You came for me, didn’t you? How sweet.”

 

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