It's Complicated, page 29
And then of course there was Lucas. Lucas texted to make sure I was still alive. And then he texted to say he missed me, and that was it. Connor though, Connor hadn’t texted at all. I could feel the pain in my stomach, “Was he too busy on dates with other women? Was that why he hadn’t texted me?” Sarah hadn’t texted either, which I thought was unusual, “What was going on with her?”
I knew she was okay because she texted me back that night. But obviously something very different was going on in her life. I looked at the phone when I turned it back on and then I threw it onto the bed. I was dissatisfied. I was angrier now than I had been when I switched off the phone in the first place, “Why the fuck hadn’t Connor texted me?”
I stared at his last message again and sent him a message.
Gemma: So, how are your dates?
I knew I sounded surly, I knew I sounded passive-aggressive, but I didn’t care. He didn’t respond right away and that made me even angrier. I walked into the kitchen to look for something to eat, I needed ice cream or chocolate, preferably both. I opened the freezer door and I saw that I had chocolate brownie ice cream, that would do. I had no wine left and that pissed me off even more. I was too tired to go down to the bodega to get a bottle. And I didn’t have the app where you could order wine online.
I knew it didn’t take much to download it, but I just couldn’t even be bothered to download it. I was that annoyed. And then I heard my phone beep and I hurried to the bedroom and grabbed it. Connor had responded.
Connor: What dates?
“What dates, you idiot?” I growled at the phone. “What dates do you fucking think?” I took a deep breath and responded.
Gemma: The girls and email you were talking about.
Connor: Oh. Laugh emoji. You didn’t think I was seriously considering that, did you?
I stared at his text in shock.
Gemma: What?
Connor: I was just joking with you. I’m not going on any dates with any other girls. Do you think I’m that much of a pig to send that to you after the evening we just spent together?
I didn’t know what to say to that. “Fuck. I should have dumped Lucas after all.” But now, now it was too late. I couldn’t text him the day before New Year’s Eve and cancel. That would just be awful. And I didn’t want to be that person. And it wasn’t as if anything with Connor had actually changed.
Gemma: Oh, I didn’t know if you were joking or not. Seems like an odd joke to send.
Connor: Are you jealous?
Gemma: No, of course not. Why would I be jealous? You can do whatever you want.
Connor: Good. I hate jealousy in women. It’s such an unbecoming trait.
“Well, such an unbecoming trait, huh?” I made a face as I stared at the phone and whispered to myself, “Sometimes Connor could be obnoxious.” I sat down on the bed and leaned back. I didn’t know what to think. I just spent the last two days commiserating about what an asshole he was and now he was saying he was joking. “But this is why you can’t be with someone like him, Gemma,” I lectured myself. “Because this is all you’re going to go through, the ups and the downs. And there’s never going to be a satisfying ending to a relationship with him. Never.”
I realized in that moment that it was true. With Connor, I was just asking for heartbreak. It might not come right away, it might not come in three weeks, maybe not even three months. May not even come in three years, but it would come. At some point it would come and it would be my own fault. Lucas though. Yeah, he was attractive, he was nice. He didn’t light my world on fire the same way Connor did, but we had sexual chemistry. I liked being with him, I enjoyed my time with him. I’d orgasmed with him. He was worth my time and effort. At least he texted me in the last twenty-four hours wondering if I was still okay.
I grabbed the phone and texted Lucas back.
Gemma: Hey yeah. Finally feeling better. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Lucas: So glad to hear from you. I was starting to get worried. I’m excited to see you. Just let me know the details for tomorrow night and I’ll be there. Tell me if there’s anything I should bring. Wink, wink.
“Oh shit.” Lucas was definitely expecting to get laid and I couldn’t blame the man. We’d been on a number of dates already, been as close to sex as you could get without having sex. And I knew he was expecting that tomorrow was going to be the night that fireworks weren’t just in the sky. And maybe, just maybe, it was going to be his lucky night.
Gemma: Don’t worry. I’ve got everything taken care of.
I responded quickly. Even though I had absolutely nothing taken care of. I had no idea where I was going to take him, what we were going to do, but I’d figure that out later. My plan was to tell Lucas to meet me in the Upper West Side at ten p.m. Hopefully, he’d get there early. I would go to the Upper East Side and meet Connor at nine p.m. I’d spend about an hour and a half with him, let him down gently. And then I’d go to meet Lucas and we’d ride off into the sunset together. Granted, it was going to be late at night and we weren’t riding any horses and there would be no sunset. But we’d figure out something to do.
I’d tell him that my plans fell through or something, and maybe we could go back to my place. I knew it wasn’t very special and I knew it wasn’t fun, but it would do. I just needed to break it off with Connor first. That would make me feel better about everything. I knew it was going to be hard because I would be meeting Connor’s parents and because Connor and I had this chemistry that was just undeniable. But I would do it for my own peace of mind. I would do it. I felt almost like I was trying to convince myself that I would, because the niggling feeling inside of me told me that it was going to be really hard. How many times had I tried to end things with Connor, and how many times had he convinced me to give us another chance?
I felt like I had really gotten to know him at the cabin and I felt that he was a really misunderstood artistic creature that wanted more from life than even he was willing to express himself. But I can’t wait around for that, I wasn’t a psychiatrist, I wasn’t a shrink. I couldn’t fix him and his issues. Shit, I didn’t even know how to deal with my own issues without calling my best friend every five minutes. No way I could fix his.
I had to take care of myself and I had to do what was right for my future and my family. And I knew my family was most probably going to murder me when they found out exactly what I’d been up to on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Not that I was ever going to tell them, but if they ever found out they’d kill me.
I grabbed my phone and called my grandma. I knew if I didn’t call her right now, she’d most probably send the police to my apartment and then, New Year’s Eve would be the least of my problems.
“Gemma, I’ve been calling you for two days. Where have you been? You’ve been with your boyfriend? You not call your grandma because you’re with your boyfriend, do you think that’s acceptable?”
“Grandma, I wasn’t with anyone. I was at home.”
“Well, what happened. You sick, you need me to come, you need to go to hospital? Let me call your father, we come and we pick you up and we take you to the hospital. You okay?”
“Grandma, I’m fine. I’m not sick. I was a little under the weather, I just needed to sleep it off and now I’m fine, okay? Don’t I sound fine?”
“Gemma, you act very strange. Christmas Eve, you act strange, Christmas Day, you act strange. But I say, ‘She’s distracted, she sees nice guy. She’s having fun.’ But I think is more than that. This guy, he not treat you well? If he not treat well, you dump him. There’s plenty of nice guys. We go to Greece. Hey, my friend, Aristotle—”
“Grandma, I’m not going to hook up with a fisherman in Greece and I don’t want Aristotle, okay?”
“You’ll be lucky girl to be with Aristotle. You’re not—”
“Grandma,” I cut her off. “Everything is fine. In fact, I think you’ll be able to meet my boyfriend very soon, okay?”
“Oh, Gemma, you make us so happy, you make us so happy. So when? When he come over, you want us to make lunch tomorrow. He come to lunch tomorrow?”
“No, Grandma.” I laughed. “He’s not coming to lunch tomorrow, but maybe we can figure something out in the New Year.” I hated the fact that I was lying to my grandma. I mean, maybe Lucas and I would become a couple, maybe we wouldn’t, and maybe he’d be interested in meeting her and maybe he wouldn’t. It was really too early to say, but I just needed her to get off of my back because the more she’d figured something was awry, the more questions she’d ask. And I had a bad habit of telling her everything, even when it wasn’t good. And this was something I just didn’t want her to know about.
“Well, Gemma, you come to New Year’s Eve, you be with your family tomorrow?”
“Grandma, you know I love you guys, and you know I want to spend it with you guys, but I did promise the guy that I’m seeing,” in my mind I said to myself, “The two guys that I’m seeing.” “That I will be with him tomorrow evening, okay?”
“So why you don’t bring him over first and then you go to his party? That way we all get to meet him.”
“Grandma. That’s not really a good idea, actually. I don’t think you want to meet him tomorrow.”
“And why not Gemma, why not? You not have a black eye. Do you have black eyes? Did he beat you? If he beat you, you dump him. We go to the police station, we file report and he go to jail.”
“Grandma. No, of course he didn’t beat me and if he did, I wouldn’t be with him. You know me better than that. I do have self-esteem, okay? You know I would never be with someone that was physical with me.”
“Gemma, do you think you’re the only girl that’s been with a man that she loves, that gets physical? You think it’s only weak women that stay with these men? Strong women, they stay with these men as well, because they love them. They say the man going to change, they make excuses for him. He apologizes. ‘It was the alcohol. It was the drugs. It was the cigarettes. It was everything. It was the ghost.’ You not listen to him.”
“Grandma.” I let out a huge sigh. “I don’t have time for this right now. Please, I promise you, no one is hitting me, okay? Please understand, I cannot come tomorrow, but I will see if we can make plans with you in the new year, okay?”
“Okay, Gemma. You know I just want the best for you.”
“I know you just want the best for me, Grandma. And trust me, I want the best for me as well. I promise you, I am living my best life right now. Most probably too good. So do not worry about me, okay?”
“Okay, Gemma. If you say you living good life, I believe you. I want you to live a good life. That’s why we come over to the United States of America. I miss Greece every single day, but I tell myself I did it for my children. I did it for my grandchildren. I did it to give them opportunities that I would never have in Greece. In Greece, you would never have the opportunity to work at museum like this.”
“Well, I think things have changed in Greece as well, Grandma. I think—”
“Trust me, Gemma, you not know the old country. But I did it. I give it all up for you to be happy. So be happy, okay? You meet a nice guy, you be with nice guy. And if the man not so nice, you get rid of him. For me, yes?”
“Yes, Grandma. I promise.”
“I love you, Gemma, you know? You’re not a Greek name, but I still love you.”
“I love you too, Grandma. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay, Gemma. I tell your mama and your papa you call, okay?”
“Thanks, Grandma. Love you. Bye.” I hung up the phone and then leaned back onto the bed again. Why was everything so complicated, why was my family so crazy? Why did they now think that my boyfriend was going to be joining them for lunch in the near future? Because I knew my grandma and I knew she was calling my mom at this exact moment telling her I had a boyfriend and he was coming to lunch next weekend because that’s how my family operated.
But I couldn’t think about that right now. I had enough problems to deal with. First of all, I needed to figure out what to wear, because I needed to look hot when I dumped Connor and I needed to look hot when I fucked Lucas. Because there is nothing worse than looking a hot mess in either of those situations.
Red was an awesome look on me. Even if I said so myself, I stared in the mirror at my reflection and knew, I looked amazing. My dress was a soft red silk, short, with slits at the side, the back and the front. I was wearing no bra and no panties and there was a big V-neck where my breasts were. If I moved too fast to the left or to the right, you could see inside my top and realize I was braless. I knew I was going to drive every single man that saw me tonight crazy. And that’s exactly what I needed and wanted to do, because I knew that tonight was going to be the most complicated and crazy night of my life.
I looked at my phone and realized I had about ten minutes before I had to catch the taxi and go over to Connor’s parents’ house. I was excited to meet them, even if I was going to dump Connor. I just wanted to see the people that had ruined him so much that he was giving up on someone like me because I was a catch and he was losing something good, just because he didn’t want to commit. But that wasn’t my problem. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, put on some more of my red lipstick, smacked my lips together and grinned, “This is it, girl. This is it.”
I grabbed my handbag and headed downstairs to catch the taxi. I took a couple of deep breaths as I waited and then texted Connor, Gemma: On my way. Can’t wait to see you.
Connor: Awesome, babe. Can’t wait.
I then texted Lucas.
Gemma: You’re going to meet me at the Upper West Side, right? Are you on your way yet?
I asked him hoping beyond hope that he was just going to go from his house to the meeting place with me. I needed him to bypass the party at Connor’s house, but I couldn’t tell him that. I couldn’t even bring up the party at Conner’s house because I knew if I did, it would look too suspicious and he might ask questions and the last thing I needed right now was questions.
Lucas: Yeah, babe. I’ll be there at ten, right?
Gemma: Yeah. Perfect.
I responded back to him and took a deep breath. I got into the taxi and smoothed down my dress as I sat in the back seat. The taxi driver tried to make small talk with me, but I was too distracted by my thoughts to really say much to him. He realized that I wasn’t going to be a big talker and turned on the radio a couple of minutes later. Within twenty minutes, we’d pulled up outside a huge brownstone on the Upper East Side and I got out of the car, handed him a twenty and took a deep breath.
I walked toward the brownstone, admiring it. Connor’s parents were rich, but that shouldn’t have surprised me. He had that air of someone who’d come from money. I guess it was something about breeding in the Upper East Side. That even if you were a DJ, it was obvious that you came from wealth. I walked up to the door, rang the doorbell and waited. The door opened and there was a beautiful older lady standing there. She had long blonde hair and big, beautiful blue eyes. She looked slightly like Connor.
“Hello, my dear. Can I help you? Are you here for one of the boys?”
“Sure. I’m here to see Connor.”
“Oh yes. You must be Connor’s friend. Come in.”
She had a slight English accent and I realized that was definitely his mom. I walked into the beautiful foyer and stared up at a large crystal chandelier. This place was amazing. I’d never seen such opulence in someone’s house before, only in castles in Paris.
“Hold on, let me get him. Connor.”
Her voice tinkled down the corridor. And I saw him striding out of the room to the left. He had a big smile on his face.
“Gemma,” he said.
He walked toward me and I grinned at him loving the way he was staring at me and my red dress. The look of appreciation in his eyes was everything I’d wanted.
“Hi,” I said, as he stopped in front of me.
“Did someone say, Gemma?”
A deep voice sounded from the right and I froze. I recognized that voice. I looked over and I saw Lucas. He was wearing a suit and he looked as devastatingly handsome as ever.
“Gemma, you came.” He walked toward me and I froze.
Oh shit. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. This was my worst nightmare coming true.
“Oh, you know Gemma?” Conner reached me at the exact same time that Lucas did. He looked over and frowned. “Huh, Gemma, how do you know my brother Lucas?” he asked me and my jaw dropped.
“Your brother?” I said, feeling faint. And then the next thing I knew I was falling to the ground. This was far worse than I’d ever thought it was going to be. I was in the biggest trouble of my life and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get out of it.
Chapter 32
“Please let this be a dream. Let this be a dream.” That’s all I could think as I lay on the ground. My eyes fluttered open and I realized that, no, this was reality. To my left stood Connor, a concerned look on his face, and to the right stood Lucas, a concerned look on his face. I closed my eyes again. I wanted to stop breathing. “Please help me stop breathing,” I prayed to God. “I will never ask you for anything again. Please.” But of course life never works that way.
“Dear, are you okay?” I could hear Lucas and Connor’s mother speaking to me, and I looked over at her and opened my eyes.
“I think I need to lie down.” I touched my head and did my best acting. “I think I’ve, I’ve just come down with something.” Of course words failed me as I lay there. I couldn’t think of any illness or sickness that would’ve caused my collapse that wasn’t too serious. I didn’t want anyone thinking I had some sort of terminal illness. I wasn’t that bad.
