The Beloved, page 29
Kinda like you would if a T. rex gave you the option to run.
“Get outta here,” L.W. said.
“I’m just out for a walk.” Shuli skipped in place. “Fresh air does wonders for a person’s disposition. You should try it sometime—you never know, you could turn over a new leaf and try smiling for once.”
“Why do you even do this.”
“Attempt to help you improve your attitude? I mean, I don’t know. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.”
“You are a total waste of training and resources.”
“No.” Shuli held up his forefinger. “I’m annoying you deliberately, and you hate that it works. I don’t mind being called an asshole, but let’s be accurate about the reason why, shall we—”
In perfect coordination, they both spun to the left, outed their guns, and squeezed off two bullets apiece.
Their next move was equally in sync. With a twist and jump back, they took cover in an inset doorway.
“—and not hide behind petty defensive insults,” Shuli finished as he sniffed the air.
Going by the stink, the lesser was about thirty feet away, hiding in the shadows of a cut-through between a rooming house and an abandoned nail parlor—
A head popped around the corner. It was a female, with her hair in rows of braids and a couple of piercings in her face.
“Dematerialize,” L.W. hissed. “Just get out of here, will ya?”
Shuli glared back at the guy. “No.”
“Yes.”
Making a show of being dizzy, Shuli went limp and leaned back into the panels behind them. “I can’t possibly. I’m too scared and distracted to—”
The rotted panel splintered under his weight and he fell back into darkness. As a hard landing ricocheted through his skull and rendered him legitimately struck stupid, all he heard was a litany of swearing.
Then there was another brief exchange of fire, bullets pinging around, sparks like stars in the sky—or in Shuli’s suddenly not-so-hot vision.
Fucking… wonderful.
And he’d thought wrecking his car was the worst thing that could happen this week.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
So this is pillow talk, Nalla thought.
As she and Nate lay side by side in his bed under the covers, their faces were nose to nose, eye to eye. She wasn’t sure how long they’d been like this, and she didn’t really care. Time felt like forever, and in the back of her mind, she told herself to soak this in. When they parted, she had a feeling that it was going to seem like only a minute or two.
And maybe she’d once again question whether it had happened at all.
She needed a pillow-on-the-floor equivalent—and guessed it was going to be all the delicious places she was aching.
“I can make you some food,” he offered in a drowsy voice. “If you’re hungry.”
“Sounds great.” Then again, he could have volunteered to give her a chemical peel or a dental exam and she would have awesome’d either one. “I can help, though.”
“We’ll do it together.”
And then they didn’t move.
“Thanks for putting me in touch with Amore. I’ve wanted a tattoo for ages.” She’d already told him this. Why was she babbling? “I already told you that.”
Well, she was babbling because it felt safer than telling him what was really on her mind: She was wondering when she would be back here with him—and she hadn’t even left yet. Which made her a stalker, didn’t it.
Okay, fine, a stalker-in-training.
“That’s okay, you can tell me anything all over again.” Nate’s smile was lazy and relaxed, even though his eyes were intense. “Or maybe I can ask you something.”
“Absolutely. Let me have it.” She propped her head on her hand. “Just not math. I suck at math, and that’s what they make calculators for.”
“Are you staying at Luchas House permanently?”
Nalla was aware of her heart skipping a beat. In a casual tone, she said, “Why do you ask that?”
What she wanted to say was—Are you looking for a roommate?
Except that was insane.
“Just wondering,” he hedged.
As she felt a minor letdown, she knew that was ridiculous. She wasn’t living in some kind of romantic comedy where the hero asked the heroine to move in because she had nowhere else to go—and they ended up pulling a happily-ever-after following a series of zany adventures.
Yeah, that was a movie, not anything that happened in real life. And besides, if you were a vampire in Caldwell, New York, the zany adventures were likely to kill you.
She pushed her hair out of the way. “I’m just crashing in that room for a little while. I pull a lot of hours so it’s a convenience.”
Unlike her two-second, dematerializing commute. Phew, what a time-saver.
When he didn’t say anything, the silence made her feel like they were on two boats, floating off in opposite directions, and as she guessed what it was all about, she wondered when—fucking when—her father would cease to be a shadow over her life.
“Okay, fine,” she muttered. “I don’t want to be around my parents right now. I’m taking a break from them.”
Was this his opening to address the black dagger in the room? Namely that promise he’d made to her sire, which he’d clearly remembered and come to the very reasonable conclusion that it put a target on his chest?
After all, even if Nate was immortal, he could still feel physical pain. She’d seen more than enough proof of that.
“The relocation has nothing to do with you,” she lied.
Although that wasn’t exactly false. She and her parents had plenty of other problems. Nate was just one of a number of them.
“I’m not sure I believe that,” he said. But then he shrugged. “I’m not getting along with my own very well, either.”
“No?”
He shook his head. “So I can understand how a little distance might help. But unlike with your situation, I’m the asshole in the crowd. Always have been. Honestly, Murhder and Sarah are good people, and I’ve just been…”
“Tell me.” She smoothed a hand over his tattooed chest. “Please. You’re like a ghost sometimes, even as I can feel you next to me.”
Nate’s expression got dark, real dark. “The two of them took me in when I had nothing and nobody in this world. And to pay them back, I haven’t treated them well. I’ve pushed them away, pushed everybody the fuck away—including the Brotherhood. I’ve just been pissed off at the world, and taking that shit out on anybody who crossed my path.”
She thought back to seeing him in the middle of the street, outside of Bathe, that glower, that aggression. “You’re not like that at the moment.”
“Yeah, well, I think you’re good for me.” He nodded as if he were talking to himself. “For the first time in a long time, the future has… something in it for me. And that changes things. When the past is ugly, and there’s nothing but time in front of you, the present means nothing, gives you… nothing. The nights are a void, the days are full of bad dreams, and you just trudge through it all, lashing out because you can’t stand yourself.”
He turned his head to her and focused properly. “But when I’m with you, I don’t feel like that. You change me.”
“I do?” she whispered.
“Yeah, you do.”
The strangest thing happened. Inside of her, she felt as though she had been filled with something warm and sustaining, sure as if she had taken his vein. It was such a transformative sensation that all she could do was just breathe and feel it.
“You’ve changed me, too,” she whispered.
“Not possible. You were already perfect.”
As her eyes threatened to tear up, she distracted herself by tracing one of the vines as it wound around his biceps—and she was amazed at how touching him felt so natural now.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked her softly.
“I, ah, I want to pretend that I’m sophisticated with you. That this”—she motioned between them—“is something that happens all the time for me. Or at least, every once in a while. Maybe because I want to fake it so I can make it. But the truth is, this has never happened to me before. Ever.”
“Well, you’re the first female I’ve had here,” he said. “If that makes you feel more comfortable.”
“Really?”
“Well, other than my adoptive mother.”
“I’m honored.” She smiled and tried not to dwell on how happy she was becoming—as if the buzzy rush was a bubble that might burst if she focused on it too much. “And by the way, I really do like it here.”
“I like you here.”
“Aren’t we a matched set.”
“We are.” He brushed her nose. Touched her mouth with his thumb. “Nalla, I didn’t expect this.”
“Neither did I.” She kissed his fingertips one by one. “And man, I’m glad I went to the club instead of stayed home that night.”
“I hadn’t seen you out in a long time. Not that I’m a Shuli type.”
She thought about her love life. “Yeah, I’m not a big partier—or dater. I’ve only had two lovers, and neither lasted long. The first one I tried to like, I really did. But you can’t fake what you feel, even if you’re trying to put yourself out there.”
“Is it okay if I hate him,” came the growl.
Nalla chuckled. “He can’t compete with you. No way.”
“Okay, that’s what I want to hear. And in another twenty minutes, I’ll make sure you remember why.” Nate kissed her mouth. “What about the second one? And FYI, no matter what you say about him, I’m going to hate him also.”
“Duly noted, and that one… I think I’m going to let you hate him. He was just doing it on a bet, as it turned out.”
Nate’s brows got good and low. “A bet?”
“You must have heard it before. Like at Bathe the other night? A bunch of males trying to one-up themselves playing chicken with my father—and using me as the bait.”
That heavy jaw worked like Nate was trying to turn his molars into powder. “I shoulda shut that down instead of just not playing that stupid game.”
“Those males asked you to join in the fun, huh.”
Nate nodded, his face going downright nasty. “Just so we’re clear, that’s not right. You don’t deserve to be some fucked-up trophy.”
“I agree, and when it comes to number two, I was also the goal line. He scored, and then never called me again. I thought it was because I was a bad lay.” Even though the sex she’d just had with the very naked, very tattooed fighter next to her proved that was not the case—as long as she had the right partner. “But the next time I saw him, he was looking ashamed of himself as his buddies all high-fived him and tried to pretend they weren’t. I knew what had gone down then.”
“What’s his name.”
At the nasty rush of words, she shook her head. “I think it’s best for everybody that I keep that to myself. He was young and stupid, so was I. But I learned my lesson and there’s been no one since then—until you.”
Nate ran his forefinger up and down her collarbone. “Yeah, probably better I don’t know who it is.”
“It’s not anybody in Shuli’s group, don’t worry. How about you? Have you ever been in love?”
The mask he sometimes wore came down quick as a blink. “No, I haven’t.”
That’s it? she thought as he didn’t say anything else.
“And as for sex, it’s been a long time for me, too,” he tacked on. “I don’t connect with people real well.”
She had to smile. “You’ve done just fine with me.”
“You’re… different.”
As she looked at his face, and the dark shadow of hair that was coming in over his head… then let her eyes go down, to the skull with its vines and snakes and clouds flowing outward… and lower still, to his heavy, tattooed sex that lay on his thigh, another clarity came to her, and this time, she ached from it in a profound way.
They were starting something here, in this bed, in their hearts, in their lives. There was much ahead, much to meld, but he was right, there was a future to be had for them both, and she wanted it. She wanted to make her own family.
But she couldn’t escape one ringing truth that was going to destroy her in a way.
Loving Nate… was going to cost her her father.
Forever.
* * *
Lying in his bed with Nalla cozied up to his chest, Nate still kept thinking he was going to wake up. The idea that this female was here, with him, in between his Target sheets, under his God-only-knew-from-where blankets, was the kind of thing he was convinced he’d cooked up behind closed lids.
And yet… she was here.
He could do without her questions, though. Not because he was hiding anything—okay, fine. He was hiding shit. But he didn’t know what to say about Rahvyn, on so many levels, especially because there was no way he could talk about that female and not come clean about his plan for leaving the planet.
Which suddenly wasn’t looking like the get-outta-jail card he’d been thinking it was.
Nalla made him want to stick around: Now he knew exactly what his father had been saying about not wanting to talk again until Nate started to care about someone other than himself.
It was early with this female, but yes, he cared about her, a lot, and yes, it made everything different: Time wasn’t a burden, thanks to her. It was an opportunity. And he wanted to hoard it because even though he might live forever… Nalla wouldn’t.
Oh, God, he already didn’t want to think like that. And he also didn’t want to freak her out with the fact that he’d made a deal to end this immortality bullcrap… but she was making him reconsider that whole thing.
Too soon to admit she might very well be saving his life? You bet your ass it was.
“I don’t need you to be sophisticated,” he murmured as he skipped the question that was hanging in the air between them.
Had he ever been in love before? He might have said yes, up until recently. After Nalla, though, he was starting to think it was a no.
What was that old line… that the reason they called it a crush was because the shit hurt?
Drawn by the feel of Nalla’s warmth and her smooth skin, he brushed a hand over her shoulder… went back onto her collarbone… and up to the side of her neck where his bite mark had fully healed, thank God.
“Good, because I’m not,” she said quietly. “Sophisticated, that is.”
There was a pause, and the banked expectancy on her face told him she was looking for some information on his dating past—and considering all the things he didn’t want her to know about him, he figured his sex life was the least of a bunch of bad reports.
“I haven’t had any lovers.”
Her eyes bugged. “I—ah, you’re a virgin? I mean, were a—”
“No.” He cleared his throat. “I had some… professional interludes.”
“Like a training class on making love—” She stopped the joking as she connected the dots correctly. “Oh. Like… oh. Well… that’s—”
“I wasn’t a good bet for a relationship.” Okay, that was still true. “Back then, I was looking for extreme experiences in everything. Like, my time in the field, the tattooing… other things. And for a while, I found a couple of females who shared my interests, as you might call it. But when I realized I was the same person before and after, and considering that was precisely what I was hoping to get away from, I stopped with all that. Turns out you can’t remake yourself with distractions, no matter how hard you try.”
She seemed to get lost in her own thoughts. “People can try to change. But you have to be careful how and who you’re taking your cues from. I have a friend who’s into this social media guru—and I just don’t think it’s going to end well.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s a way to your destination and what’s just a distraction.” What he was clear on was that he wanted to be different for Nalla—and that was generalizing into other areas of his life in a good way. “And I guess, sometimes doing shit for the sake of doing it is an excuse to avoid the truth. But what do I know. I’m hardly qualified to comment on anything that has to do with self-improvement.”
“I don’t know, it sounds like you’re turning over a new leaf. And I’m glad I’m here with you as you do.”
Staring into her eyes, he felt like he was falling—and he didn’t mind the rush at all. “Me too.”
Abruptly, she took a deep breath. “Mmmm, I love the way you smell. Dark spices…”
As her voice drifted off, he felt his eyes widen—and hers did the same. Like they both came to the same conclusion at the same time.
“Sorry,” he said softly. “I can’t help it.”
“Is that… what I think it is? I mean, I’ve kind of wondered.”
Nate nodded. “I’m pretty sure I’ve bonded with you. I’ve heard it can happen fast, but I never believed it.”
There was a long pause, and her eyes seemed to darken with a sadness he didn’t understand. But then she was smiling widely, so widely that he could see her fangs—and imagined, with a kind of greed he’d never felt before, that they were buried deep in his vein, and she was drinking from him.
Taking the nourishment she needed… from him, and him alone.
“Bonded males are a pain in the ass,” he said roughly. “We’re a little nuts when it comes to protecting our females. So can I just do a blanket apology if I run across those assholes from Bathe again? I didn’t go far enough the first time.”
As she laughed and threw her arms around him, she shook her head. “Just let it go. I don’t care about the stupid parlor games. Besides, I’m off the market.”
Nate felt this weird glow inside his chest, like he’d been breathing in sunrays. “Well… if that isn’t the best news I’ve ever heard. And it’s been twenty minutes, female. Give me your mouth again.”
