Dark Heiress, page 21
part #5 of Ema Marx Series
I released a shallow stream of breath, not knowing what to make of that. “Ema thinks you believe me to be the king in the nursery rhyme.”
“Aren’t you, though? Compelled to protect her, that’s what I heard.”
But not a king. If anything, the rhyme pointed to Jalmari.
“Still,” I said with a shrug, wanting to deny it. “It is a bit of stretch, tying my premonition together with your prophecy.”
“Perhaps,” said Logan before taking another sip. “But you have to admit the evidence thus far has been pretty convincing. Chayton won’t hesitate to use it.”
He wasn’t wrong. The believers of a prophecy were always worse than the prophecy itself. I’ve witnessed the fallout more times than I would have liked.
“Keep her alive.”
“What exactly do you think Snow would do with this information?” I asked, knowing Ema needed to be warned.
“I don’t know,” Logan admitted. “But you have your work cut out for you. I’ll help wherever I can.”
I looked him up and down. I didn’t doubt his skill as a Hunter, but the fine lines creasing his eyes and brow were deeper than I remembered, the skin over his cheekbones gaunt. His free hand hung limp at his side, and the other looked as though he might drop his drink at any moment. It had been a long time since the type of exhaustion that plagued humans once plagued me. Too long for me to remember the ramifications. But I knew the signs. “Have you slept at all since the coma?”
Logan shook his head. “I meant to in Berlin, but my wife ... well, she took the trip as a second Honeymoon. I can’t sleep here. The moment I close my eyes, Snow will know I’m on to him. Dream magic is as much a curse as it is a blessing.”
I arched my brow. “In that case, refusing sleep has probably tipped him off already.”
Logan scoffed. “I’ll sleep when he’s gone.”
“How do you propose we get rid of him?” I asked, more out of curiosity than anything.
“Preferably, the method of least resistance; King Brinnon can order him away.”
I nodded in agreement. “I will have a strongly suggestive word with Brinnon.”
“Thanks,” said Ema’s father. “It would be nice to get some shut-eye.”
After a moment of silence passed indicating the end of our conversation, I crossed the room to the door and reached for the knob.
“Jesu,” Logan added as an afterthought. I paused but didn’t face him. “I like you,” he said, as though choosing his words carefully. “But only because you’re in love with my daughter and her kids. Hurt a single hair on any one of them, though, and I’ll find a way to flay you alive.”
I let myself out then released a small puff of breath and smiled.
Chapter 18
Imagine if it was Jesu who did the honors.
The very idea was like a spray of ice water. I tensed, unblinking, my jaw slacked as unease coiled in my gut. But for every fiber of my being that rebelled against the idea, another whispered of its righteousness. Imagine if it was Jesu who turned her.
Jesu, who had grown up human.
Jesu, who chose family over freedom.
Jesu, who lived every day since with the repercussions of that decision.
Jesu, who had no other option but to protect Jordan with his last dying breath.
If he ever did agree to it, it would not be a choice he’d make lightly. If Jordan absolutely had to be turned, the only person in the world I would be remotely okay with as her sire would be him. Her protector. Jesu.
“Oh.” I released a breath and sighed against the leather chaise. “I’ve been an idiot.”
A knock sounded at the door. From the other side came Naamah’s voice. “Your Highness? Mr. Gerson to see you.”
I looked up in time to catch Jalmari’s scowl before he walked past me and opened the door. “Miss me already, Rick?”
Rick Gerson stood beside Naamah with his beloved briefcase in hand and rolled his eyes. “Like mold on cheese.”
Jalmari stepped aside and extended one hand, gesturing for Rick to join us. Naamah followed.
Rick noticed me. “Miss Ema. I didn’t realize you were back. I’m sorry for your loss.”
My lips pursed. Maria. What I wouldn’t give to talk to her right now.
“How long do you intend to stick around, Rick?” Jalmari admired his fingernails then buffed the tops against his crisp button-down shirt.
“However long it takes.” Rick looked at the prince, then at me, and back to Jalmari. “Has it been decided?”
Jalmari pressed his lips into a thin line and his gaze narrowed. “I think Ema is taking her time with the decision. Considering all sides and angles. Doing the smart thing for once. Perhaps we should give her due space and speak privately.”
My brow furrowed. I knew Rick was at the meeting, but he spoke as though Jalmari had discussed at length the idea of me taking the throne. Why would he though? What happened to vampyre business is vampyre business?
The Neo-Draugrian prince moved toward the door but hadn’t gone more than a step when Naamah said, “Your decision to take Jalmari up on his offer—that is, to accept the throne, even with the intention of replacing yourself with another—will affect how the R.E.D. judges your case.”
My mouth puckered into an ‘O’ and I looked wide-eyed at Rick.
He gave me an apologetic shrug. “I’m afraid so.”
My gaze went to Jalmari. He looked to the side and clenched his jaw. A small part of me wondered if he wasn’t giving up his crown to appease the R.E.D. After all, Rick knew who really swung the sword that killed Lilith. I need to talk to Brinnon.
“Thanks for letting me know.” I stood and went to the door, opening it. “I’ll keep you posted.”
I closed the door behind me, marched to the end of the corridor, and rounded the corner before losing my nerve and collapsing against the nearest wall. My shoulder and upper arm scrapped against the pretty wallpaper as I slid to my knees and pressed one cheek flat against the decorative panel. Maria, I don’t know what I’m doing. I need you.
I recalled her asking if my feelings for Jesu had changed. Lord knows I tried—but they hadn’t. I loved him so much, it hurt to think about. I can’t lose him again.
But ... marriage and royalty? Even if it was only temporary ...
A swift kick from within my own gut flung me from my thoughts, and my hands went to my belly. You will never be done sacrificing for them.
I closed my eyes, drew a deep breath, and then pushed to my feet. Talk to Brinnon first. Find out if it’s even doable.
I went to Brinnon’s office knowing it was empty before I reached the door, but the scent of fur and the soft sounds of a dog using the many rugs as a scratch pad found its way into my heart. The door stood ajar. I pushed it the rest of the way open and entered.
Sure enough, a big tawny-colored wolf squirmed on her back with her tongue hanging out, as though scratching an itch she couldn’t reach otherwise. She stopped and rose to all fours as I went to her. I dropped to my knees and threw my arms around her neck, burying my face in the soft thick fur of her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry. I should have stopped her from going. I should’ve insisted that she stay with me at the hospital. I should have been there to save her. I could have ... I could have interfered or something. Anything. Just not this.”
Lupa tensed beneath me and gave a little whimper.
Gosh, did anyone even tell her?
I released my hold just enough to look into the eyes of Maria’s cousin. “It’s Maria,” I said, pausing as a sob caught in my throat. “She ... she was murdered the day before.”
And you didn’t get to attend the funeral because everyone thinks you’re a dog, and no one thought to tell you. My lip trembled as a terrible weight pressed against my chest.
Lupa only looked at me. Without a voice, I couldn’t imagine what she must be thinking, but I knew she understood every word. After a long moment, Lupa reached toward me with her snout and licked my face. I shuddered into the touch and folded my arms around her as the urge to sob finally broke free and took over. Because wishing for tears was useless, I gripped Lupa’s fur in my fists and let myself lean into her as my whole body shook.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I’m so sorry.”
Lupa stood solid as a rock, unmoving. Unflinching. It was very un-dog-like. A rude reminder that there was a vampyre locked inside a canine body. And she probably wants to fling herself into a fit of grief too. I backed away, realizing my selfishness.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ... that is, if you want to be alone, I understand. But if you want to be comforted, I’m down for that too. I can stroke your fur if you’d like?”
Lupa did nothing for a long moment, and my concern grew. Then she climbed over me and dropped onto my lap, this creature that probably weighed over a hundred pounds—most of it fur—and pressed her wet nose against my arm. My heart felt a little lighter, knowing Maria’s cousin trusted me enough to share in her grief. We stayed on the bearskin rug in the king’s office for a long time—long enough for Lupa to fall asleep in my lap as I stroke her beautiful hide. Long enough for both my legs to go numb under her weight. Long enough for my worries to quiet themselves. Long enough for someone to happen upon us.
The door opened. Tancred took one and a half steps inside before pausing to absorb the scene in front of him. I was about to single for him to be quiet, but Lupa lifted her head immediately, ears pitched forward at the intruder. She calmed just as quickly, recognizing Brinnon’s Second in Command, then stood and stretched. I took the opportunity to rise, forcing blood flow through my extremities again.
Tancred went behind the king’s desk and opened a drawer, removing several documents. “If you’re looking for Brinnon, he’s in his room dressing for today’s meeting.”
“When’s the meeting?” I inquired while swiping fur from my clothes.
Tancred checked his watch. “In one hour.”
“Am I invited?”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” he said bluntly. I arched my brow, and he gave me an apologetic gaze. “After the stunt Prince Jalmari pulled, we’ll no doubt be doing damage control when the topic should instead be focused on that pest, Victor. It’s best you stay away so we can keep everyone’s attention on the task at hand.”
My shoulders slumped in defeat. “Fine. I’ll stay out of the way.”
I really wanted to do more to help the cause, but I had no idea what I could do, considering I was supposed to be on bed rest. So much for that idea.
Lupa’s cold nose pressed against my palm, and I began to wonder. “Come on, girl.” I turned away and left the office, but instead of going to Brinnon’s room, I ventured back to the guest wing. The corridor was empty, save for the Alpan guards that kept my parents limited to their rooms, but I paid them no mind. No sign of life came from behind the door to what was once Maria’s guest room. Naamah probably still used it, but he was elsewhere now, attending to his prince. I gripped the knob, hesitated, then drew a breath for courage and let myself inside.
Lupa slinked in after me, and I shut the door as soon as her tail end was past the barrier. Tentatively, I faced the room and winced as Maria’s overwhelming presence washed through me. A few articles of clothing lay across the bed. Jewelry and little makeup pots sat on the vanity. My dress—the one she surprised me with for Brinnon’s coronation—hung from a hanger over one of the wardrobe doors. What once sparkled and glittered with a million tiny rhinestones now seemed muted and subdued in the shadows of the room. The space smelled like her. Like wisdom and the kind of confidence that only came from a long hard life. A lump swelled in my throat. I swallowed it, clenched my fists, and then set to work.
I went to the wardrobe, flung open the drawers, and shoved aside clothes and accessories. When that turned up nothing, I searched the nightstands, the vanity, and then under the bed, beneath the mattress, between the pillows and the folds of the canopy. I scoured the bathroom shelves and the inside of the hearth. All the while, Lupa stood watching with her head tilted to one side.
Nothing.
“I was sure she had it,” I murmured to myself.
The knob of the bedroom door turned, and I jumped at the sound, my instincts skipping into alert mode. But it wasn’t Naamah who opened the door and peered inside.
“Ema?” Jesu’s gentle tone was like a salve to my taut nerves, and I slid onto the edge of the bed, feeling dejected. Jesu closed the door. “I was looking for you. What are doing here?” His gaze went around the room as though noticing for the first time where here actually was, and his brow inched upward.
“I was looking for Leena’s spellbook.”
Jesu sat beside me before asking. “Why?”
My gaze went to Lupa. She sat near the legs of the vanity table and gave a little doggy huff before settling into a lay. I grimaced at what I was about to say. “To bring her back.”
“To bring who b—?” His lips pressed into a thin line and the little bit of palled blue undertones in his flesh drained away. He blinked at me. “Ema, you cannot be serious.”
I lowered my gaze to my lap and shrugged. “Yes? No? I don’t know. I just ... The thought crossed my mind before ... after Nikolas died. Only I don’t know the first thing about casting spells. I guess I thought Dad could help?” I stopped talking, knowing how utterly ridiculous I sounded.
Jesu faced forward and was silent for a moment. Then he cupped a hand over mine. “I miss her too. More than I thought physically possible. It overwhelms me.”
“So, we’ll do it?” I said, only half-serious.
He laughed, and I mentally high-fived myself. “No. Maria is at peace. And I am not sure anyone deserves deliverance from the cruelties of this world more than her.”
“I know,” I said, turning my palm over to thread my fingers with his.
He looked at our hands, then at me, and a somberness wiped his expression clean. “Ema, I ...”
“No.” I smiled and shook my head. “I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did in Finland. You didn’t deserve that.”
His grip tightened. “It was ill-timed. I should have waited to talk to you once the sting of death wore off.”
My gaze went to the canopy. The brocade was the same summer blue and gold pattern as all the other rooms in this wing. I was considering Jalmari’s offer—if it is even doable, still need to talk to Brinnon about that—but what if Jesu didn’t want to be king? He’d mentioned before he had no interest in politics. He was happy to leave the burden to his brother. As far as I knew, he had no more training than I did when it came to ruling a people.
And marrying me?
Jesu seemed to know all about political marriages. They were commonplace even in human royalty since the dawn of time, and he had accused me at least twice of wanting to marry for power. Both times made me sick to my stomach. What a hypocrite I would be to ask him of such a thing now. Only I didn’t care about titles or crowns or any of that. I would marry him without a throne if he asked me to. I would marry him if all he owned were the shirt on his back. That’s what I need to tell him. So why were the words so difficult to say?
“Ema ...”
I lowered my chin to look at him, and his gaze went to the opposite side. His chest rose and fell several times as though having to start over before he could get the words out.
“I love my niece because she is my niece. I will fight to the death to keep her safe, but nothing about the sire bond says I have to adore her. I do though. I do adore her.” He looked at me suddenly, those glimmering green eyes wide with fear, as though he needed me to hear him. Needed me to understand. “I would do anything for her out of the goodness of my own heart simply because she is family. I would do the same for her brother for the same reason. But I am sure she’s the one, Ema. I can feel it in my bones.”
My heart swelled to its breaking point and my shoulders hunched as I sagged forward, my lips pinched in a trapped sob.
“Muru ...” Jesu turned and cupped my jaw in his other hand. He tilted my chin toward him and press his forehead to mine, our noses touching. “I did not love them until recently because they did not exist until recently. Don’t you see? It has been you from the beginning. Perhaps for the wrong reasons at first, but learning the truth did not lessen how I felt about you. It only strengthened it. Because from then on out, I loved you for all the right reasons. For your bravery and strength. For your cunning and tenacity. For your fierce loyalty and utterly foolish kindness. For your understanding and tenderness. And mostly for that brain of yours. It never ceases to amaze me.”
A curt laugh escaped my tight throat, but I couldn’t seem to manage words. Emotion rose up from my heart and scorch my voice like molten lava from a rousing volcano. It physically hurt that Jesu would say such beautiful words to me; words I hadn’t allowed myself to dream of for fear that they would always be just that: A dream.
Now he was speaking them. Confessing them to me, and I was so overcome with joy I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“Ema,” his breath warmed my lips, “I love you. Please say some—”
I kissed him. Slow and trembling and probably very sloppy, but it was all I could manage. “Marry me.”
Jesu leaned back just enough to search my gaze, one hand still cupping my jaw, the other still entwined around my fingers. He studied me, and I could practically see the worry and doubt spilling into him. “I know I am going to regret asking, but why? If it is because of Jalmari’s stupid—”
I touched my fingers to his lips, hushing him. “If you mention a single word about politics, I will throttle you, so help me God. Shut up and listen.” I lowered my hand.
Jesu pulled both lips between his teeth and a muscle briefly feathered along his jaw, but he stayed quiet and seemed to wait for me to continue. Good.
I drew a breath and lowered my gaze to the small space between us. “If I had things my way, Jesu, I wouldn’t be carrying your father’s son or your brother’s daughter. I would go to Elite training if I had to, but I would come back to you. I would come back, and we would date like teenagers with the whole world as our oyster and boundless, endless time. I would lose myself in you, and I would find myself in you. We’d learn all of each other’s worst habits and probably fight, but we would make up and fight and make up again, until one day out of the blue you would get down on your knee and present me with a little black box and ask me to make you the luckiest man in the world. And I would scream yes. A thousand times, yes. We would have a proper wedding with all the parties and all our friends. And eventually one day, when all the thrills are over, we would go to a clinic together, hand in hand, nervous as shit, and ask a doctor to help us conceive so I can give you the fatherhood you deserve. We’d grow agelessly old together watching our family blossom. That is the dream, Jesu. But it is not the reality.
