Near the egg yolk, a chunk of apple was turning brown.

  meep … “What is difference between fire and brown apple?” asked Thudd.

  “I don’t know,” said Andrew.

  meep … “Not a lot!” said Thudd. “Fire happen when stuff get together with oxygen fast! Brown apple happen when stuff get together with oxygen slow.”

  Thudd pointed to a huge tangle of rusty wire at the bottom of the sink. It was a steel-wool pad for scrubbing dirty pots.

  meep … “Rusty thing on slow fire!” said Thudd.

  If we don’t find some butter soon, thought Andrew, the same thing could happen to Thudd.

  EEEEEEE! The screech was still going on, only now it was louder and higher.

  “It’s worse than chalk on a blackboard!” Judy complained.

  The Umbubble floated out of the sink. Now they could see the whole kitchen.

  Next to the sink, the kitchen counter was piled high with fruits and vegetables.

  Next to the counter was the stove. Andrew realized that was where the screech was coming from. It was a teakettle! Mrs. Scuttle lifted it off the stove.

  “I’d better have my cup of tea before the next disaster,” she said to herself.

  meep … “When water boil, little water molecules get lots of energy from heat! Go off into air. Sound happen when lotsa molecules rub against spout of kettle!”

  They watched Mrs. Scuttle pour steaming water from the teakettle into a big white mug. On the other side of the room, Harley got up on his hind legs and pushed his front paws against the screen door. It creaked and flew open.

  “Harley! No!” yelled Mrs. Scuttle as she rushed over to grab him.

  It was too late. Harley escaped!

  But other things came in.

  Bzzzzzz!

  Big black flies zoomed through the open door. Mrs. Scuttle hurried over and slammed it shut.

  Slamming the door sent a little gust of wind through the kitchen. It caught the Umbubble and sent it spinning toward the kitchen counter.

  “Hang on!” said Judy. “We’re going to crash into Veggie Mountain!”

  Andrew grabbed Thudd and shoved him into his shirt pocket. He saw a wall of red and smelled a familiar, spicy smell. Then the Umbubble crashed. Thorns pierced the wall of the Umbubble everywhere!

  “Yikes!” hollered Andrew. “The Umbubble is shredding!”

  The Umbubble collapsed around them like a party balloon. They were caught on a tomato stem. It was as thorny as a monster cactus!

  Then Andrew saw something move. A pair of long, hairy antennas twitched at the bottom of the tomato.

  “Holy moly!” said Andrew. “The cock-roach!”

  Judy snapped off two prickles from the tomato stem and gave one to Andrew. “If it comes this way, use this!” she said.

  “Um, thanks,” said Andrew. “But this thing is about as scary as a speck of dust!”

  “Do you have a better idea, Mr. Smarty-Pants?” asked Judy.

  The cockroach played its antennas over a strawberry that was next to the tomato.

  meep … “Strawberry only fruit that have seed on outside!” said Thudd.

  Judy rolled her eyes. “That might be interesting, Thudd,” she said, “if we weren’t about to be devoured by an enormous insect!”

  The cockroach started to climb up the tomato. Andrew, Judy, and Thudd stared down at two walls of cockroach eyes. The cockroach’s jaws snapped like giant, jagged scissor blades in front of them.

  Andrew and Judy waved their tomato prickles. The cockroach didn’t seem impressed.

  meep … “Cockroach not like light,” said Thudd. “Get flashlight, Drewd!”

  But before Andrew could grab it, there was a flash of yellow.

  THWAAAP!

  The cockroach was gone!

  Andrew looked up to see Mrs. Scuttle waving a banana and searching the sink.

  meep … “Cockroach too fast for human,” said Thudd. “Got antennas in rear end that tell when stuff move.”

  “Like having eyes in back of your head,” said Andrew.

  “Like having eyes in your behind!” said Judy.

  Mrs. Scuttle was muttering again. “First, my dog gets in the garbage. Then there’s ants in my bathtub and spiders on my ceiling. Now there’s a cockroach in my sink! I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to calm down.”

  Mrs. Scuttle put down the banana and took a sip of tea. “I know!” she said. “I’ll make myself a teensy-weensy grilled cheese and tomato sandwich! Yes!”

  “No!” said Andrew and Judy together.

  “We’ve got to get off of this tomato!” said Judy.

  She started to climb through the thorny spikes of the tomato stem. Andrew followed. But it was like climbing down a cactus.

  “She’ll be comin’ round the mountain when she comes,” sang Mrs. Scuttle. She slipped a slice of bread onto a blue plate. Then she slapped a slice of orange cheese on top of the bread.

  Her giant fingers grabbed Andrew and Judy’s tomato. Andrew’s shorts got caught on the tomato prickles!

  “She’ll be comin’ round the mountain, she’ll be comin’ round the mountain, she’ll be comin’ round the mountain when she comes!” sang Mrs. Scuttle.

  Judy jumped off the tomato stem and started sliding down the tomato skin. She was almost out of sight!

  Andrew tugged his shorts free from the prickles and hurried after her. The tomato skin was smooth but dotted with bowl-shaped craters. He jumped onto it and started sliding. Then there was a flash right above him. A gleaming wall of silver slammed down between him and Judy!

  Mrs. Scuttle’s knife chopped the tomato in half. Andrew and Judy were caught on opposite sides!

  Andrew peered toward the other half of the tomato. Mrs. Scuttle was slicing it! She plopped three dripping slices onto the cheese-covered bread.

  Then Mrs. Scuttle shook some salt onto the tomato slices and laid a piece of bread on top of them.

  “Now I’ll get my little sandwichy into the oven,” she said. “Mmm-mmm-mmm!”

  She glanced at the microwave oven and then at the toaster oven. “Eeny meeny miney moe….”

  meep … “All food got water inside,” said Thudd. “Microwave make water molecules flip around fast, fast, fast! Get hot, hot, hot! Then water molecules make other molecules hot. Toaster oven work different. Make all molecules hot.”

  “I think I’ll use the microwave,” said Mrs. Scuttle. “It’s faster!”

  She grabbed the sandwich off the plate and popped it into the microwave oven. She set the timer and turned the oven on.

  “Oh no!” yelled Andrew. “If Judy’s on that sandwich …”

  “Oody!” whimpered Thudd. His eyes closed. “Shnurm … shnurm … shnurm …” Thudd was snoring again.

  “I’d better put the rest of this tomato in the fridge,” said Mrs. Scuttle.

  The kitchen became a blur as Mrs. Scuttle whisked Andrew’s half of the tomato away and opened the refrigerator door.

  From the edge of the tomato, Andrew saw the top shelf of the refrigerator. It was crowded! There were bottles of orange soda, a carton of milk, and a cooked turkey. Jars of jelly and mustard and mayonnaise were piled on top of each other.

  “Hmm,” mused Mrs. Scuttle. “There isn’t room for another crumb in this refrigerator.”

  Mrs. Scuttle leaned down to the middle shelf. It was jammed, too. There were jars of pickles and olives, a water jug, and chocolate cupcakes. In the center of the shelf sat a big cabbage with part of its top cut off.

  “I guess this will have to do,” said Mrs. Scuttle.

  She set Andrew’s half of the tomato on top of the cabbage and slammed the refrigerator door shut. The light in the refrigerator went off. Jars and bottles clanked against each other. The cabbage tipped, and Andrew’s tomato slid to the edge of the cabbage and bumped into a jar of pickles.

  Andrew shivered. It was cold! He snapped his flashlight on.

  Splot!

  A big drop of something plopped down onto the tomato.

  meep … “Whazzit?” Thudd said as he woke up.

  Andrew shined his light up. The milk carton was above them.

  “It must be leaking,” said Andrew.

  meep … “Milk mostly water,” said Thudd. “Milk white cuz of little protein blobs and little fat blobs. Milk got germs, too. Milk alive!”

  Andrew beamed his flashlight at the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.

  Far below, he could see an open carton of yogurt, a bowl of eggs, and a half-eaten sandwich on a glass plate. There was a wedge of cheese with blue streaks running through it. And then Andrew spied it.

  “Super-duper pooper scooper!” he said. “Look, Thudd! A stick of butter!”

  meep … “Why did elephants get thrown out of pool?” asked Thudd. “Not keep trunks up! Hee hee!”

  Thudd’s big purple button began to blink. It snapped open, and Uncle Al appeared at the end of a thin purple beam.

  “Hey there!” said the Uncle Al hologram. “I tried to stay with you last time, but Thudd’s antennas are starting to rust. I’m reaching you with a high-power hologram. Where are you now?”

  “We’re in Mrs. Scuttle’s refrigerator,” said Andrew.

  “Good work!” said Uncle Al. A proud smile spread across his face. “I knew you’d find a way to get into the kitchen! Any progress with getting Thudd buttered up? If his antennas get rustier, I won’t be able to reach you.”

  “There’s some butter on the refrigerator shelf below us,” said Andrew. “But I don’t know how we can get it.”

  Uncle Al grinned. “I think I have an idea…,” he said.

  “What are you wearing today?” asked Uncle Al.

  “Well, urn, I’m wearing my blue shorts and that great safari shirt you gave me,” said Andrew. “The one with all the pockets.”

  “Perfect!” said Uncle Al. “Remember, Andrew, most answers are in your head or in your pockets—sometimes both! When I gave you that shirt, I put a surprise in a secret pocket. It’s under the left side of your collar. It’s a new thing I’ve been working on. The Drastic …”

  Suddenly Uncle Al’s voice faded away. So did the rest of Uncle Al!

  Andrew checked his collar. There was a little zipper on the left side. He unzipped it and found a tiny pocket. But there was nothing there!

  Then Andrew remembered that Uncle Al, smart as he was, sometimes got left and right mixed up. So Andrew checked the right side of his collar. There was another secret pocket. This time there was something in it.

  It felt like a tiny, squooshy lump. Andrew unzipped the pocket and took it out. It looked like a piece of rubber band with a tiny cup at each end.

  There was a tag attached to it. It said THE DRASTIC ELASTIC, VERSION 1.1.

  meep … “Let go of end,” said Thudd.

  Andrew held one end of the Drastic Elastic and let go of the other end. It fell through the grating of the middle shelf and stretched all the way to the bottom of the refrigerator!

  “Wowzers schnauzers!” yelled Andrew. “This is the stretchiest thing I’ve ever seen!”

  Andrew tried to pull the end back up, but the Drastic Elastic just seemed to get longer and longer.

  meep … “Yank, Drewd!” said Thudd. “Like yo-yo!”

  Andrew yanked the end of the Drastic Elastic. The other end came whizzing back!

  “Jumping gerbils!” said Andrew.

  Andrew tied one end of the Drastic Elastic around Thudd.

  “Okay!” said Andrew. “I’ll get you down to the butter, Thudd. You grab a big hunk. Then I’ll snap you back and get you buttered!”

  “Yoop! Yoop! Yoop!” said Thudd.

  Thudd jumped off the tomato and whizzed down to the bottom shelf. He landed in the bowl of eggs.

  “Are you okay, Thudd?” Andrew called down.

  But Thudd couldn’t hear him. His voice was too tiny to hear from so far away.

  Then Andrew remembered the little cups at the ends of the Drastic Elastic. He held his cup to his mouth.

  “Hey, Thudd!” he said. “Can you hear me?”

  Down below, Thudd spoke into his end. “Yoop, Drewd!”

  “Thudd, I’ll try to swing you off the eggs and onto the butter,” said Andrew.

  meep … “Know why egg not round like ball?” asked Thudd.

  “Thudd, it’s not a good time to start explaining stuff,” said Andrew. “We’ve got to get you buttered up. And then we’ve got to rescue Judy.”

  meep … “If egg round, egg roll away easy,” Thudd continued. “Egg get broke. Get lost. Oval-shape egg not roll away easy.”

  “Thudd, I’m going to pull you off those eggs right now,” said Andrew. “Get ready!”

  meep … “Eggshell got little holes!” said Thudd, beaming a picture up to Andrew. “When egg got chick inside, chick get air!”

  “Enough of that, Thudd!” said Andrew.

  Andrew tugged Thudd off the eggs and tried to swing him onto the butter. But Thudd landed on the half-eaten sandwich and tumbled into a deep bread crater.

  meep … “Bread got lotsa holes like moon,” said Thudd. “Hole in moon made by meteor. Hole in bread made by little yeast things. Live in bread dough.” Thudd beamed Andrew a picture of yeast.

  “Little yeast thing eat stuff in dough,” Thudd said. “Then yeast burp! Burp make bubble in dough. Bread get cooked. Little yeast thing die. Bubble stay!”

  Andrew shivered. “Come on, Thudd,” he said. “My fingers are getting awfully cold.”

  Thudd climbed out of the bread crater.

  meep … “What is gray and got four legs and trunk?” asked Thudd. “Mouse on vacation. Hee hee!”

  Andrew sighed. “I’m going to try again to get you over to the butter. Try to swing yourself that way.”

  “Okey-dokey!” said Thudd.

  Andrew finally got Thudd swinging over the butter. He was just about to land Thudd on the creamy yellow surface when the refrigerator door flew open.

  “Tum, tee dee tum tum …,” sang Mrs. Scuttle. Her nose appeared in front of Andrew like a big pink ski slope.

  “Now, where are those pickles?” she asked herself. “Oh, here!”

  Meaty Scuttle fingers wrapped themselves around the jar of pickles that Andrew’s tomato was leaning against. The tomato wobbled on the edge of the cabbage. Andrew turned off his flashlight, clipped it back onto his belt loop, and held on!

  Rrrrrrrrinnng! Rrrrrrrrinnng! Rrrrrrrrinnng! It was Mrs. Scuttle’s phone.

  “I’ll bet that’s the mayor calling me back!” said Mrs. Scuttle.

  She slammed the refrigerator door shut. But she slammed it so hard that it sprang open again!

  “Well, hello, Mayor Zamboni!” said Mrs. Scuttle. Her voice had turned sticky sweet. “It’s about my neighbors, the Dubbles. Yes, I’ve called about them many times.”

  Splot!

  A drop of milk landed right on top of Andrew. It washed him over the edge of the slippery tomato skin!

  “Woofers!” said Andrew. He clung to the edge of the slippery tomato with one hand and the Drastic Elastic with the other!

  Mrs. Scuttle’s voice got less sweet. “I’m a very busy person, Mayor Zamboni, but I am certainly not a busybody!” Mrs. Scuttle was silent for a moment. “I can’t believe it!” she finally said. “He hung up on me!”

  Andrew’s cold fingers just couldn’t hold on. He fell off the tomato and landed softly on a yellow snowdrift—the stick of butter!

  Up above, the tomato was slipping farther and farther over the edge of the cabbage. Finally, it toppled off the cabbage, bombed down past the middle shelf, smacked into the glass plate with the half-eaten sandwich, and …

  Craaack!

  The whole mess crashed to the kitchen floor.

  Andrew heard Mrs. Scuttle’s heavy footsteps thumping nearer. “This is the last straw!” she screamed.

  Andrew looked around for Thudd. He couldn’t see him, but he still had one end of the Drastic Elastic. “Thudd!” Andrew called. There was no answer.

  Andrew snapped the Drastic Elastic. Thudd came skimming toward him across the butter!

  “Shnurm …” Thudd had fallen asleep again. All his buttons were blinking red.

  “Wake up, Thudd!” said Andrew. He untied Thudd from the Drastic Elastic. Then he scooped up a handful of butter and started rubbing Thudd all over, especially his antennas.

  The refrigerator door opened wide. Mrs. Scuttle got down on her hands and knees to clean up the mess. The top of Mrs. Scuttle’s head was right across from Andrew. He could see the dark roots of her hair, even some dandruff!

  “Shnurm … Butter made from lotsa little fat globs in milk … Shnurm …” Thudd was talking in his sleep!

  As Andrew rubbed Thudd with butter, Thudd’s buttons went from blinking red to yellow. Then Thudd opened his eyes!

  “Now I’ve got a headache!” Mrs. Scuttle groaned. She looked at her watch. “Heavens to Betsy! It’s 6:30! How am I ever going to get ready for my garden party tonight?”

  Mrs. Scuttle’s grumpy face rose past Andrew like a balloon in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  meep … “What is big as elephant but weigh nothing?” asked Thudd. “Elephant shadow! Hee hee!”

  “Oh no!” said Andrew. “You’re still telling elephant jokes!”

  meep … “Still soggy!” said Thudd. “Got to get dry!”

  Bing!

  “The microwave!” said Mrs. Scuttle. She ran over to the microwave oven and flung it open. The door was spattered with orange cheese and red tomato!

  “I can’t believe it!” she said. “I must have set it for ten minutes by accident! Another mess!”

  Mrs. Scuttle shook her head. “I should just go back to bed,” she groaned. “But I’ve got to have something to eat. Maybe just a slice of toast with my tea. That’s it! Hot buttered toast!”

  Oh no! Andrew thought. He grabbed Thudd and started to run toward the edge of the butter. But it was far away, and the butter was slippery.

 

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