Last was Cecilia. I wonder what she’s gonna have to say...

  As Ichika waited nervously, Cecilia opened up in a completely unexpected way, “Er, Ichika...”

  She seemed nervous. Vulnerable. Nothing like her normal self... As he kept those rude assumptions to himself, Cecilia finally made up her mind.

  “L-Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen. So why don’t we go here together? Just the two of us?” Nervously, she held out an all-day pass for the ‘D-Land’ theme park in Yokohama.

  “Mm? Hmm?” Ichika couldn’t quite figure out why she was asking him for something. Confused, he glanced up at her face. Her cheeks were glowing.

  “Y-You don’t want to?” Her shy disappointment stirred even Ichika’s heart.

  “No, uh, I mean, yeah, I mean, no. Uh, I mean. Let’s go, yeah.” As Ichika nervously tried to find the right words, a beaming smile broke across Cecilia’s face.

  Meanwhile, from the shadows, six stares drilled into the pair.

  Did you hear that?

  I sure did!

  Loud and clear.

  Indeed.

  We’re going to have to...

  We’re gonna have to tail them!

  It was a date! ...Though under less-than-auspicious circumstances.

  ◇

  That weekend, Ichika waited by the entrance to D-Land in Yokohama. He’d suggested that, since they were both leaving from IS Academy, they might as well meet at the school gates, but Cecilia had other plans.

  “If we did that, they’d be skulking— Er, I mean! For this kind of thing, isn’t it more romantic to meet there? Ohohoho.” She was insistent enough that, in the end, they set off separately.

  She’s pretty late, though. It was already 20 minutes past when they’d planned on. He didn’t mind waiting, but he was a little worried that something might have happened to her on the way there.

  “Jeez, sometimes Cecilia’s so sheltered.” As Ichika grumbled to himself, he heard a voice from behind.

  “Oh my. Just who are you calling sheltered?” The smell of roses filled his nostrils as he spun around. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Ichika.”

  The woman he faced was wearing a blue one-piece dress under a white coat, and her golden locks fanned out over it. Cecilia Alcott had arrived. She looked a bit different than normal, having chosen light pink lipstick. Ichika thought it made her look more mature.

  “Cecilia!”

  “Why, you still have bed head, Ichika!” She bemusedly reached out and patted his hair down. It was an entirely more practiced gesture than he was comfortable with.

  “Huh, thought I smoothed that out before I left, hahaha.”

  “Oho. You’re always in such a hurry.”

  Ichika’s embarrassed grin was met with a kind, accepting smile. They were the picture of a happy couple, and the sheer bloodthirst in the glares from the shadows was palpable. But neither Ichika nor Cecilia noticed.

  “Shall we be going then, Ichika?” asked Cecilia, as she extended her hand.

  Ichika theatrically accepted it and replied, “As you will, Milady.”

  “Ahaha. Do be a gentleman and escort me.”

  Hand in hand, they passed through the gates.

  ◇

  “Boyish good looks and a maiden’s heart! It’s famous detective Charlock Holmes!” A dramatic orchestra hit from somewhere.

  “Charlock Holmes? Who’s that?” Kanzashi gulped nervously.

  “A detective! ...No, no I’m not! Why are you making me do this? Why do I have to wear these clothes, anyway?! Do you really think I look that much like a guy? Really, that stings!” Charlotte was complaining, but she also looked every inch the part, right down to a calabash pipe and Inverness cape.

  “Come on, Kanzashi! You’re wasting our time with this! We’ve already lost sight of Ichika and Cecilia!” If Charlotte was angry, Ling was furious.

  “But Tatenashi told me to. Right, Tate—” Kanzashi turned to her side, only to see a Tatenashi dakimakura with a fan spread open on top of it.

  “The early bird gets the worm.”

  As the group realized the meaning of Tatenashi’s sudden absence, howls of despair arose from the tall grass they’d hidden themselves in.

  “She got us!”

  ◇

  “What do you wanna do first, Cecilia?”

  “Well. I’ve not been to many amusement parks, so I suppose I’ll leave that to you.”

  “Hmm. I wonder what’s not going to be too busy around now.” Ichika’s brow furrowed as he looked at a map of D-Land. Noticing, Cecilia wrapped her arm around his.

  “Well, the dog park sounds interesting,” replied Cecilia. How effortlessly she did it made Ichika’s heart pound. Her warmth, along with the softness of her bosom as it brushed against him, was almost too much.

  “Dogs, huh? You like dogs, Cecilia?” Ichika awkwardly struggled to make conversation.

  “Why, of course. Shelties are practically a national icon. Their fluffy coat, their clever smiles, their adorable playfulness. Aren’t they wonderful? But—” Cecilia continued, “All doggies are good boys. I simply can’t decide on a favorite.”

  Ichika was surprised. When they’d first met, she’d definitely been of the type to insist that British breeds were superior. She’d definitely had some rough edges smoothed off. No, more than that, she’d become more flexible. Both in her thoughts and in her perceptions.

  “Do you have a dog, Cecilia?”

  “Sadly, no. Chelsea is always showing me pictures, though.”

  “I see. Chelsea, you said?”

  As Ichika nodded to himself, Cecilia pressed even closer. “Oh, are you interested in her? That’s too bad. I don’t believe she finds younger men attractive.”

  “I didn’t mean—”

  “I’m only kidding, dear.”

  Between the teasing and the closeness of her body, Ichika could barely talk straight.

  “Anyway, shall we be going?” asked Cecilia.

  “Yeah, uh, sure. But calm down a little, okay?”

  “Surely you’d expect British nobility to always live life to its fullest.”

  “Maybe, but I’m just some Japanese kid...”

  As they joked back and forth, Ichika and Cecilia made their way to the dog park.

  “Coming through, coming through, sorry about that!” A park janitor pressed their way between Ichika and Cecilia with a broom. Between the cap, the sunglasses, and the flu mask, it was almost a perfect disguise. The only flaw was one telltale lock of wavy ice-blue hair poking out.

  “Huh? Whoa, what are you doing?” Ichika asked, as he moved aside.

  “How rude,” griped Cecilia.

  Luckily for Tatenashi, it wasn’t enough to give the game away. She made her escape while she could.

  “What the heck was that?”

  “.........”

  “Now what?”

  As they continued on, they came upon the park mascot, Dobonta, standing in their path.

  [Hey there, I’m Dobonta! Let’s dance!]

  “Whaa?!”

  The mascot grabbed Ichika’s hand and pulled him away from Cecilia. A familiar-looking ponytail poked out from the neckline of its costume.

  “What on earth are you doing?! This has to be some kind of human rights violation!”

  [Dobonta doesn’t!]

  [Have a!]

  [Human inside!]

  A line of mascots made their appearance, languidly clutching balloons in their paws.

  “Jigen Dobonta. The gunman with a zero-point-three second draw. Howdy, pardner.”

  “Ishikawa Dobonta. I can cleave anything in twain. Anything.”

  “Mine Dobonko. Is she your best friend? Or your worst enemy?”

  Hand in hand, they spun Cecilia around.

  “Ahahahaha.”

  “This is D-Land, where dreams come true!”

  “Let’s dance together!”

  A dream? A nightmare? An endless waltz.

  (“All right!”—Ling)

  (“Almost got it!”—Charlotte)

  (“All according to plan!”—Laura)

  The creepy, inhuman laughter echoed around Cecilia. Just as she felt like she was about to drown in that inhuman cackling, a burst of blue light surrounded her. “Stop that! I’m Cecilia Alcott! I don’t have to take this!”

  Opening Blue Tears, she blew away the three Dobontas which had appeared in front of her, before wrapping her arms around Ichika and pulling him back from the one which was attempting to kidnap him.

  “Wait, this is—”

  A princess carry, of all things. Nothing could have embarrassed Ichika more.

  “We need to shake them off! Just hold on!”

  Cecilia’s breasts were pressing into his face, and the close contact made Ichika blush all the way to the tips of his ears.

  “I see a way!”

  “I, uh, I’m seeing something too...”

  “......?”

  Ichika pressed hard on his nose.

  ◇

  “Why, they’re adorable!” Cecilia smiled happily at the circle of dogs around her. It was a mass of tiny, cute little things—Dachshunds, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas, Papillons, Yorkies, and more, all yapping energetically.

  Meanwhile, Ichika...

  “Grrrrrr...” Growls arose from the Dobermans, Siberian Huskies, and other hounds around him.

  “Ugh, I guess I’m just one of those people who animals don’t like.” He sighed.

  As he did, Cecilia took his hand. “Don’t worry. You just need to convince them that you’re their friend. See, like this.”

  Cecilia reached out a hand to scratch a husky under its chin, and the growling immediately stopped.

  “Wow.”

  “Hahaha. All it takes is a kind heart.” Cecilia smiled.

  Meanwhile, Ichika was reminded of something. “Isn’t there some old English saying about getting a dog after you get married?”

  “No, it’s after you have children.” Just the mention made Cecilia’s cheeks flush red and left Ichika at a loss for words.

  “Oh, huh. Ahahaha.”

  “Funny, isn’t it.”

  Gazes from the brush nearby watched their afternoon get better and better.

  ◇

  “What do we do?! They’re having a great time!” Ling stomped her feet.

  “What am I supposed to do about that?” Houki was beginning to lose hope.

  “The costumes were a failure.” Charlotte sighed as she pulled off her Dobonta mask.

  “That’s okay. At least it was fun.” Laura stood, her arms crossed.

  “Our next plan is...” Kanzashi excitedly opened a projection display in midair.

  “This is—!” The others gasped.

  “I call it the ‘Haunted House Horror Holler Hour’!” Okay, maybe the name was a bit iffy.

  ◇

  “Why don’t we have something for lunch?”

  “Of course! Actually, I made something and brought it with me.”

  For a moment, Ichika thought they’d have too much, but he decided to keep this thought to himself. Instead, he pulled out his own lunch sack.

  “So did I, actually. Why don’t we trade?” As he did, he winced. His lunch was a loaf of French bread hollowed out and filled with tuna salad and onions. It was sliced into discs, sort of like a Westernized sushi roll. That much was fine. The problem was the ‘French’ part. “...You know what, actually, why don’t we just have our own.”

  He belatedly tried to retract the offer, but Cecilia just chucked.

  “Too late now, tee-hee.” She swiftly snatched the wrapped loaf from his hands.

  “And you can have this.” It was replaced with a delicious-looking rice ball.

  Ichika couldn’t argue with that smile, and he sat down to eat. “I made tea, too. Though yours is probably better.”

  “I brought green tea! Perhaps we could trade those as well.” Cecilia pulled out a bottle and handed it to him.

  “Let’s eat.”

  “Yes, let’s eat.”

  They bit into their lunches.

  “Mmm! This is great!” The rice ball was perfectly salted, and the savory flavor of its seaweed wrapper filled Ichika’s mouth, along with the tart sweetness of first-rate Kii Province umeboshi. With ingredients like that, it had to be good.

  “Yours is quite nice, too.” Cecilia seemed to be satisfied with the ersatz Western sushi roll. The onion added a bit of tanginess to the tuna salad, and he’d made it with imported mayo, which uses whole eggs, rather than Japanese mayo which uses only yolks, to make sure that it wasn’t too heavy. “Oh dear, Ichika. You have some rice on you.”

  “Huh, where?”

  “Right here.” Cecilia stretched out her fingers and plucked it from his cheek before popping it into her own mouth. It was enough to make the people around them jealous. Especially the cluster of Dobontas.

  “What the hell! Ichika’s never that nice with me!” Ling cried out.

  “Me either!” Houki chimed in.

  “He’s being way too lovey-dovey,” whined Charlotte.

  “Unforgivable. I should end them where they stand,” Laura said, as she resisted the urge to reveal herself.

  “I think I remember a scene like this from an anime...” muttered Kanzashi. You could almost see the rage emanating from them, even through the costumes.

  As they glowered, Tatenashi, in a new disguise, approached Ichika and Cecilia.

  “Hi there, you two! Did you know? We’re giving away free tickets to the haunted house for couples today! Here you go!” Tatenashi forcibly pressed the tickets into their hands before leaving again.

  That, at least, earned a thumbs-up from the Dobontas.

  “Now, just what should we have waiting for them,” Ling asked, her eyes gleaming and an indomitable grin—like that of a certain third-generation gentleman thief—plastered across her face.

  ◇

  “So this is the haunted house?” Cecilia asked. The name aside, it had become the fashion to have more than just a spooky old building. Cobwebs and creaky stairs were so out of date. And D-Land was no exception.

  “Is it just my imagination, or is like no one else here?”

  Tatenashi had done a very good job clearing out the other park attendees, but Ichika and Cecilia had no reason to know that. As for the haunted house, it was done up like an abandoned hospital. Even the outside looked foreboding.

  “So I suppose we go in?”

  “Hm? You’re not scared or anything, Cecilia?”

  “Of course not. Anything I can shoot, I can handle. They’ll need more than zombies or whatever to scare me.” Cecilia formed her hand into the shape of a gun. It wasn’t particularly girlish, but it was appealing in its own right.

  “So you’re okay with horror stuff?” Ichika tried to think of who would be scared by it, and could only come up with Tatenashi. For all the airs she put on, she definitely couldn’t deal with this kind of thing. Not really who you’d expect, now that I think of it. As he stifled a laugh, Cecilia frowned at him.

  “Why, Ichika! Are you thinking of other girls?”

  “Well, uhh...”

  Ichika tried to play it off, but Cecilia just chuckled and led him by his hand.

  “Well, I don’t know who just had your imagination right now, but I’ve had your hand all day so I suppose I can’t complain.”

  “If that’s all it takes to make you happy.” Ichika laughed, too. Meanwhile, the six watching from the shadows were almost ready to explode.

  “Ichika, you... You twerp!”

  “I can’t. I just can’t. I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill him and dump the body in the ocean.”

  “Ichika, you philanderer!”

  “We’ll use him for target practice. Target practice is completely legal.”

  “No more, Ichika! No more...!”

  “You really hate to see Ichika like that, don’t you. Especially lately.” Tatenashi was fishing for agreement, and she got it with a round of nods.

  “Anyway, let’s drag them to the very pits of terror! Ahaha, ahahahahaha!” At the signal of Ling’s maniacal laughter, they took up their positions.

  ◇

  “It’s rather dim in here.” Cecilia was still holding Ichika’s hand.

  “Watch your step.”

  “Of course. I’ll be fine.” Cecilia was, after all, a proud sniper.

  Suddenly, a mummy wrapped in bandages leapt out at them. ...A mummy with a bokken.

  “Roarrrrrrr!” It swung its wooden blade to and fro as it approached, creating an atmosphere that was less spooky and more just plain terrifying. Realizing the danger they were in, Ichika and Cecilia fled to the next room.

  “Awooooooo!” A person in a wolf’s skin suddenly leapt onto Ichika’s back. And immediately bit his head. The ceramic fangs cut into his scalp.

  “Oww!”

  “What on Earth are you doing?!” Cecilia quickly pulled the wolfman (?) off him with a judo throw, only for it to leap off the wall and back at her.

  “Awoooooooooooooo!” I’m gonna kill you, Cecilia! I’ll kill you, and then I won’t have to pay you back! Ling had fallen into the habit of forgetting her wallet when she went out, and was quickly racking up quite the debt. Not that she couldn’t pay it. National cadets were given a stipend that was more than decent. Ling just had the bad habit of forgetting her wallet. Back in middle school, she’d done the same thing with Ichika.

  “Let’s get out of here, Ichika!” Cecilia yelled.

  “Y-Yeah!” Ichika fled the room, hand in hand with Cecilia, only to encounter a chainsaw-wielding giant in the hallway with a familiar-looking mask. The growl of the chainsaw engine was scary all on its own.

  Let’s go, Laura!

  Got it!

  Inside the costume, Laura rode on Charlotte’s shoulders.

  Rrrrrrrrrr! The chainsaw’s low-pitched mechanical roar echoed off the walls, but Cecilia didn’t flinch at all.

  “How rude.”

  Bang! A gunshot rang out.

  “Wait, Cecilia! You brought a gun?!”

  Bang! Bang! Cecilia smiled as the shots rang out.

  “Only something small for self-defense.” The 9mm Browning Hi-Power, as issued to 007, may or may not have actually been ‘small’ or ‘for self-defense.’ But who was going to argue, when it was in her hand?

 

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