“Um…” Like an idiot. I wanted to scream at myself. How could I not make some kind of feasible sentence that showed I was actually more put together than it otherwise would have seemed?

  Apollo glanced over my way. His eyes narrowed a fraction before he furrowed his brow and shook his head almost dismissively, as though this was a waste of his time and he wasn’t going to bother with it.

  Not that it’s any of your business!

  The snipe in my head nearly flew out of my mouth. Instead, I bit my tongue and focused my attention on Ares. I knew Hades wouldn’t leave without me. It was petty as shit, but if he wanted to stay in the good graces of Seph, there was no way he’d leave her big sister behind. Apollo could pout all he wanted. It wasn’t like I was the one calling Ares back.

  “...thought I should tell you myself,” he said. “I intend to court you once this business with the Titans is over. I know this isn’t the time or place for a discussion, but I thought it fit to let you know directly.”

  He looked me in the eye the entire time he spoke. Never did he falter. He truly was a warrior, unflinching, capable of staring death in the face.

  I cleared my throat. “Forgive me,” I said, trying to think of an honorific that was appropriate and respectful but coming up with nothing. “I don’t understand. We don’t know each other. I’m sure there are other women, much more equal in status and experience –”

  “Your belief in your sister,” Ares said, cutting me off.

  I slowly closed my mouth and took in his words. “What?”

  “Your belief in your sister,” he repeated. Though his tone was brusque, there seemed to be an implication of gentleness, like he was trying to be patient but he wasn’t quite sure how to go about doing it. “Zeus complained of it after he convened us together once news broke of her disappearance and the missing Box. Your loyalty to her is rare to find, especially nowadays, and loyalty has always been a big value to me.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say to that. It sounded…sincere. My cheeks flushed with warmth and I found I couldn’t look him directly in the eye. I found the tops of his boots, still covered in grime from one of his fights from before, though when that was, I didn’t know.

  “Um, thank you,” I said as the silence lingered between us. He was waiting for me to say something, I knew, and I was surprised how long he waited.

  “Right.” He cleared his throat roughly. “Anyway, I know you have business to attend to. I do too. We can talk about this later. I just think…I just hope you’ll allow me the opportunity to court you.” He bowed his head and left, leaving me alone in the study.

  “Well, lookie here…”

  Almost alone.

  I glanced over at Hades. I thought for sure he had left with his brother but apparently not. There was a smug smirk on his face, hands clasped behind his back, eyebrow arched up in a question.

  “Does Apollo know?” he asked.

  I scowled at him. “I didn’t think you cared one way or the other,” I said.

  “Oh, trust me, toots, I don’t,” he insisted, sidling up to me as we made our way outside of the study. “But I care about Seph and Seph cares about you, so I guess I care about you too. And from the way I saw you eyeing Apollo when you were in my realm –”

  My eyes widened and I glanced around, hoping no one heard him. It wasn’t like Hades was even attempting to quiet his voice, nor did he care one way or the other. But I certainly did.

  “I tried talking to Apollo,” I said in a rough whisper as we made our way down the hall. “Okay? I tried to let him know. He didn’t seem to care.”

  “Really?” Hades’ voice was flat. “That’s why he was glaring at Muscle Head the entire meeting? I thought Ares must have fucked Aphrobitchy again for Apollo to care that much, but then again, I heard she fucked others as well, and that’s what led to the fall out between them –”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to hear this anymore. “How do you even know this?” I asked. “You don’t seem like the type of person who cares about stuff like that.”

  “Are you kidding? Matters of the heart are the most important thing to know, toots.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “I have eyes and ears everywhere. Being in my realm can get boring, and watching the idiotic drama of what Divine is putting his dick in what cunt and what cunt is getting a Divine into trouble…what can I say? It amuses the fuck out of me. Plus, I got dirt on everyone. Everyone, you hear me. Including you. And from my read, doll face, he likes you. A lot. He may pretend this whole Ares bullshit means nothing to him, but he’d be a big, fat liar if that was the case.”

  I hated how into this conversation I was. I shouldn’t care, especially coming from Hades. Not that I didn’t trust him — his reasoning made sense — but I wasn’t sure what advice he could give me when, as far as I knew, he didn’t have much experience with this kind of stuff.

  “Well, what should I do about it?” I asked, pressing a finger to my bottom lip.

  Stupid.

  Obviously, I needed to focus on what was important, and it wasn’t my love life.

  Hades grinned at me, rubbing his fingers together, clearly scheming about something.

  “What kinda answer you want?” he asked in a smooth voice, sidling closer to me. The strong scent of melting chocolate made my mouth salivate; I knew we were close to the kitchen. “The rational one or the devious one?”

  “The right one,” I said.

  His grin only got deeper and more mischievous, which I didn’t think was possible. “There’s no such thing as wrong or right,” he said. “It’s just how we perceive things. You can decide whether it’s right for you or not. It’s your life, after all.”

  I chewed my bottom lip as Hades slowed and glanced over at me. Voices floated from the kitchen – one distinctly Aphrodite’s – but he made no move to enter. For some reason, this comforted me.

  “I want advice you would tell your daughter if you had one,” I said slowly, peering into his eyes.

  He paused for a long moment, taking in what I had to say. There was something strange that settled across his face, something like he hadn’t ever thought about having a daughter himself, so the concept of what he might do was difficult for him to wrap his head around. But after a moment, he straightened.

  “As cliche as it sounds, I’d tell my kid to follow her desire,” he said. “If I raised her the right way – my definition of what’s right, anyway – I’d trust her well enough to know she’ll make the decision that’s right for her.”

  “What if she doesn’t know what she wants?” I asked.

  “Bullshit.”

  “What?”

  He shook his head. “Bull. Shit.” A beat. “Everyone knows what they want. Everyone. Even those who say they don’t. We just don’t want to admit it. Whether to ourselves, to someone we care about, we all know what we want. And I know that you know what you want, but, for some strange reason, you’re too chicken-shit to admit it.”

  “Hey,” I growled, affronted at his insult, even though this was Hades and I shouldn’t be.

  “Look,” he said, holding up a hand. “Your virginal sister ran away from an engagement with the gods-damned Golden Prince because she knew she didn’t want him. And somehow, she wound up hanging out with me in my realm. This girl is more sheltered than a baby in a womb, Pandora, and you know that’s true. But if she can figure it out, if she can admit it to herself to actually do something about it, there’s no reason you can’t either.”

  I flared my nostrils, trying to ignore the sweet aroma of homemade cookies. “Knowing what you want and what you don’t want are two different things,” I pointed out.

  “Then start with what you don’t want,” he said, “and go from there.” He furrowed his brows. “No need to overcomplicate it, you know? Now, come on, we have important things we need to get to. You know how it goes.”

  And with that, he turned and headed to the kitchen.

  I stared at the floor as his words sank in. The way he said everything was so basic, it felt much simpler than I thought it could be.

  I shook my head, ridding myself of the thought. To think that Hades, out of all people, was the one to teach me about love and going after what I wanted astounded me. If anything, it sounded as though he had personal experience when it came to this.

  He seems to be smitten with Seph, after all.

  My lips curved up. Maybe he did. Maybe he was. And if that was the case, I was happy for her. Because she deserved to have someone completely devoted to her.

  And honestly?

  I wanted that too. The way Hades spoke about Seph, how he seemed completely captivated by what she did, even with her naivety, was something I didn’t realize I was drawn to, but I was.

  Maybe it wasn’t about figuring out who I wanted, but what I wanted and who would give that to me.

  “Hey, toots, you coming, or what?” Hades asked. “I think Dite wants to talk to you, but we can book it past her before she realizes it. I also snagged some cookies because I could hear your stomach a mile away. Come on.” He clicked his tongue and disappeared once more.

  I grinned, making haste. It appeared Ares, Apollo, and Aphrodite were in another argument. This time, I didn’t feel compelled to decipher what it was about or what Apollo’s role in it was. It didn’t matter.

  Right now, my focus was on getting the Titans back in the Box.

  After that?

  It would be on what it should have been on the whole time: me.

  Chapter Ten

  Apparently, Apollo followed us out because the front door slammed shut behind me. I jumped and glanced back, not surprised to see a scowl on his chiseled face. He wasn’t even looking at me; his focus was on Hades and Hades alone.

  “You planning to leave without me?” he asked, his voice filled with fire.

  Hades lifted a shoulder in a casual shrug, making his way to the car. “I figured you’d catch up.” He threw me a cookie. I managed to catch it without having it crumble.

  Apollo grunted his response, making his way to the front door of the car. He slid inside and slammed that door shut too.

  “Panties in a twist, much?” Hades asked as he hunched his body to fit in the back of the car.

  Apollo glared at him in the rearview as I got in the passenger seat and clicked on my seatbelt. The cookie had already been demolished, and with my free hand, I managed to wipe my face.

  “You didn’t have to deal with that cunt –”

  “Language!” Hades admonished as he took a bite of his own cookie. “And anyway, you kind of walked into that hot mess all on your own. What’d she yell about this time?”

  “She?” Apollo furrowed his brow. “I was talking about Ares.”

  “What did he want?” I asked, glancing over at him.

  He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Why the fuck do you care?” he snipped.

  I flinched back, surprised by the bite in his tone. I heaved a sigh and looked out the window, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with his attitude if this was how he was going to treat me. It wasn’t my fault my mother wanted me to meet with Ares as a potential suitor. More than that, I never actually agreed to anything. In fact, I told Apollo the truth about it. I was the one who insisted I didn’t want anything to do with Ares. It was Apollo pushing me away, Apollo telling me to do what I needed to do. If anything, I should be upset with him.

  As much as I wanted to continue, I held back. I wasn’t going to let him inadvertently goad me into a response. Instead, I looked out the window and watched the scenery pass by, counting to myself, though I didn’t have any idea why.

  By the time we had gotten to Thorn & Ivy, I had calmed down. Not enough to make conversation with Apollo and risk one of his smartass comments, but enough to not be pissed every time I caught sight of him, even in my peripheral.

  We made our way to the Underworld entrance, through the tunnel, and to the River Styx. Even though I had done this once before, I was still in awe over everything. It amazed me what was here, the beauty of this place. By the time Chiron collected us, I had an ache in my neck because I couldn’t stop staring. Hades paid our toll for us – he seemed to have various coins on him at all times – and we continued on our way until we reached the shore, where Cerebeus greeted us. By the way he bounded over and licked Hades’s face, it was clear he had missed his master.

  “Okay, okay.” Hades held up his hands. “Jeez, boys, sit!”

  Immediately, Cerebeus sat.

  Hades glanced towards the mouth of the cave where the dog had come from. He scratched one set of ears before moving onto the next, and then, finally the next. “You take care of her, boys?” he asked in a low voice.

  They all barked their response at the same time.

  Apollo sighed heavily.

  Hades glanced over at him but didn’t pay him any attention. “No need to be more of an asshole than you already are,” he said. “We’re getting to her. Don’t you worry about that.”

  After another pat to the heads, Hades encouraged Cerebeus to scurry off. He stood at his full height, and instead of following the dog, he turned to another black gap I hadn’t noticed before. Apollo and I glanced at each other before following him. It wasn’t as though I wanted to look at him, but it was a natural reaction to what was going on. I couldn’t help it.

  “Just so you’re aware, this place is off-limits unless you want to get trapped here for the rest of your life and spend all-day everyday getting tortured,” Hades said, gesturing at whatever he was gesturing at.

  The darkness filled the space, so it was hard to decipher much of anything. In fact, I just barely managed to make out the broad shoulders Hades possessed, and I kept my sights there as a way for me to focus on something.

  “This is where the bad people go,” he explained.

  “Pythia isn’t bad,” Apollo said.

  “She opened the Box and released chaos into the world, nearly destroying Olympus,” Hades said, glancing over his shoulder to look directly at Hades. “You’re telling me that doesn’t get her a spot here?”

  “I’m saying, she wouldn’t do something like that without reason,” Apollo said. “Or someone threatened her and she felt like she didn’t have a choice.”

  “That’s what people forget,” Hades said, facing forward again. “Everyone has a choice. Even if there doesn’t seem like there is one. There’s always a choice.”

  I was surprised Apollo didn’t argue with him right there, but the rest of the journey was silent. The mouth of the tunnel opened wider, and even though it was still dreary, it was much lighter and I could make out gnarled white trees with no leaves on the branches, withered grass, and a desolate sky that looked as though it had never seen a sun before.

  But it was silent.

  There was no one in sight, not even a breeze.

  “This place is creepy as fuck,” Apollo muttered as we walked out of the tunnel.

  “Thanks,” Hades remarked, making a sharp left. “I designed it myself.”

  “Where is everyone?” I wondered out loud. I was still captivated by the sight, but I wasn’t quite sure if staring was the appropriate answer. Then again, it wasn’t like I could help it. As crazy as it sounded, there was still beauty in this darkness, in this stillness, and I was feasting my eyes on it as much as I could, taking it in, memorizing it, because I highly doubted I would be here again.

  At least, in this lifetime.

  I wasn’t sure how eternal penance worked and who handed out the punishment, but I could only hope.

  “They’re in their own chamber,” Hades said. “This is what you might refer to as a lobby. A waiting room, before you’re assigned your own chamber.”

  “No one’s here,” I murmured.

  “Yet,” Hades said, lifting a finger. “People and Divine are inherently selfish and make selfish decisions. I wouldn’t be surprised by the time we got back that it’s filled up some.”

  I wasn’t sure that that was something that reassured me.

  Hades continued through this so-called lobby in a way that indicated he knew exactly where he was supposed to go. His footsteps were sure, and he never stopped, looked around, or questioned himself about it. Instead, we passed a small, trickling stream, the mouth of a cave, and a thicket of trees before Hades turned in a different direction. I wasn’t sure how long we walked for. I kept looking around, part of me worried I wouldn’t know how to get back if I could help it. Apollo, on the other hand, kept his gaze straight, as though he had no intention of learning about this place any more than he had to. I couldn’t blame him, not if his partner was condemned here for the rest of time.

  A small dirt trail led us to a small garden, and there, we stumbled upon a woman on her knees, overlooking a familiar golden box.

  It was the Box, but not really. I didn’t know how to explain it. It was like a fake, but the intense stare in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as her long fingers caressed the top of it, told me she didn’t think it was a fake.

  Her brown skin looked ashen, her dark eyes narrowed and hopeless. Her lips looked chapped and cracked with blood, like she bit them multiple times. More than that, there were dark circles under her eyes, heavy with sleep she didn’t succumb to. Whether that was part of the torture itself or something she couldn’t do, I wasn’t sure.

  “Pythia,” Hades said in a commanding voice.

  Pythia didn’t even move, didn’t even flicker her eyes in Hades’s direction. Her straight white hair fell in sheets around her head, like a shield protecting her.

  “Pythia,” he repeated.

  She ignored him. He glanced over at me, as though to say, This is what’s been going on. She refuses to acknowledge anyone.

  “What’s she doing?” I whispered, afraid to break Pythia out of whatever it was she was doing – or not doing.

  “This is her punishment,” Hades replied, gesturing at the Box. “She’s contemplating whether or not to open the Box again. She’s been sitting this way, staring at it for years, but no one knows why it’s such a difficult decision for her. It keeps her from sleeping, from eating, from any of that. Whatever the reason she did it the first time, it was clearly important. However, she’s not sure if she would make that decision again.”

 

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