Princess of Silence, page 22
part #1 of When Kings Collide Series
As if sensing her thoughts, he stood and wandered away, toward the window. Katherine took a deep breath, considered where to begin, and dipped the quill into the inkwell.
Once she was finished, she read it over. Perhaps it wasn’t worded as perfectly as it might’ve been if she were in the practice of writing frequently, but it was a true representation of what she needed to say. Satisfied that there was nothing to add, she set the quill aside and tapped on the table to get his attention.
Caleb was back at her side a moment later. He eagerly took the paper from her, and Katherine leaned away from him, not wanting to watch his face as it faded to disappointment.
Your Majesty,
I have been mute for almost 15 years. In this time, I have never found any reason whatsoever to force myself to speak. That being said, I care deeply for the welfare of your brother and would do anything to help you find him. While you were away, I attempted to make a noise. However, I was not able to do so. If you insist, I will demonstrate for you. Nevertheless, I am sad to report that I have no information to give you regarding King Matthew’s whereabouts. I visited him in his cell. I brought him food and water. I listened to him tell wonderful stories about his life, about his bride, and about you. I did what I could to help him escape, including drawing the map. I never walked the entire length of the tunnel, only the first few steps. While it is my understanding that the tunnel is a sewer drain that empties out into a river past the castle walls and then continues another quarter mile beyond that, I have no way of knowing for certain. I know his intentions were to use the tunnel to escape Blackthorn and then head back toward your lines, toward Arteria. He did not say which route he might take or if he had plans of stopping anywhere along the way. As far as I know, he is as unfamiliar with Clovington as I am, so it is possible he could be lost or turned around. I’m afraid I do not know where he might be. I am so very sorry that I cannot be of better assistance.
She had not signed it. She could not sign it as Rose, and she did not know what the consequences might be if she revealed her true identity under these circumstances, particularly now that he was done reading and his expression looked similar to the one he’d worn the day before when he’d knocked the chair across the room.
Caleb folded the letter and held it in his hands, his elbows on his knees, his eyes trained on the door. He didn’t speak for a few moments, and she was afraid to look directly at him. Part of her longed to reach for him, to soothe him, but she had the idea that he wouldn’t appreciate her hands on him, so she didn’t move.
When he finally spoke, it seemed evident he realized now that she could be of no further assistance. The soft, familiar tone he’d used earlier was gone, replaced with what she could only describe as an impersonal methodic voice used for giving orders or thanking the commoners. “Very well then.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you for your cooperation and your attempts. Your loyalty is appreciated.”
It was a rehearsed response, something he might say to someone who brought flowers to a coronation or helped pass out alms to the poor. She understood. She had disappointed him, and she couldn’t do anything to make it right. Not only was she unable to find Matthew, she had given the king false hope of locating his brother. Katherine fought off the tears that threatened to spill over, knowing his reaction to her crying would be different than it had been earlier.
After a few moments of sitting next to each other in complete silence, he stood. He didn’t turn to look at her, though she had a feeling he wanted to. It was as if he could sense she was about to cry and was afraid of how he might react to it. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again, shaking his head and crossing to the door.
Katherine didn’t bother to stand or curtsey as he left. He wasn’t looking anyway. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she considered what he must think of her. She was nothing but a harlot turned kitchen wench to him now, and she would be surprised if he ever spoke another word to her. If only there was something she could do to help—anything at all. But she could think of nothing. She swiped at her tears, not wanting him or anyone else to see her cry. Until she found the right opportunity to reveal her true identity, she’d need to be the strong woman being a servant to the king required.
Reluctantly, Katherine stood and walked toward the door. She would go change into her kitchen dress and see about helping Caroline. At least she could be useful in that regard.
Caleb left the library and carried the letter with him to the small sitting room he’d used the day before. He needed a few moments to collect his thoughts. He’d been so hopeful that Rose would be able to provide something useful, but now that she’d proven useless and Katherine had no information either, the entire situation was dismal.
He sat down on the window ledge, staring at a rose garden and contemplated his next move. His choices were limited. While he knew David was fully capable of seeing to the task at hand, Caleb realized he’d spent too much time at Caine while Matthew wandered around the forest somewhere. He needed to leave as soon as possible, to ride back to Blackthorn and begin searching for himself. His mind made up, he headed off to search for Dale to let him know he was leaving him in charge of the forces protecting the castle. He would also have to stop by the kitchen and say good-bye to Caroline.
Walking down the hall, his mind went back to the conversation he’d had with Rose, if one could even call it that. Disappointment continued to settle in his chest. Perhaps it was that endearing quality she held that made him think she would be able to come to his aide. When the girl smiled, it seemed the whole world would find a way to right itself. He shook his head, knowing it was all an illusion; she was just another pretty girl, a loose one at that, and despite the way she made him feel when he was in her presence, she could not help him find his brother. The warmth that had radiated from her arm when he touched it was likely just another one of the tricks she used to lure in her clients.
At least she had attempted to make a sound while he was gone. That was something. He had considered asking her to try in front of him, just to be sure she could not do it, but he had decided to take her at her word. As long as she was doing everything within her power, how could he be angry with that? Caroline had warned him not to focus on her previous occupation, but it was hard to do so when she continued to mess with his mind and make his heart race every time he laid eyes on her.
Dale was in the front courtyard, discussing supply needs with one of the quarter masters. Caleb realized he still had Rose’s letter. He folded it again and slipped it into his pocket. The discussion paused as he approached, and both men turned to acknowledge him. Caleb waved them off. “Dale, I need a moment.”
“Yes, Sir,” the officer replied. “I was on my way to find you momentarily. We’ve received a dispatch from the front. David reports there’s been minimal progress so far today.”
Caleb inhaled sharply through his nose, anger welling up inside of him again. “Very well,” he said through clenched teeth. “I will be riding out myself soon enough. I want you to oversee operations here while I am gone.”
“Yes, Sir.” Dale nodded in confirmation, and Caleb left him to his duties, heading back toward the castle as the rage inside of him festered.
He knew David was competent, so he didn’t understand the problem. How difficult was it to move a pile of rubble away from a doorway? Leopold’s cavalry was pushing further south, but every time his men attempted to engage them, they would disappear into the distance. It seemed nothing was working in his favor, and no matter how desperately he searched, Matthew was nowhere to be found!
By the time Caleb entered the hallway to find Caroline and tell her goodbye, his blood was boiling. He considered skipping it and going on without telling her he was leaving, but he thought better of it, knowing he would pay for it later if he did so. He’d just stepped through the kitchen doorway when he heard a sound that sent him far past his breaking point.
Chapter 22
When Katherine had arrived in the kitchen, Caroline was busy doing what she did best—cooking. The older woman could tell instantly that the conversation with Caleb had not gone well. She’d stopped her mincing and rushed over to embrace her, saying, “Now, there, there child. It will be all right. He’s a good man, you’ll see. He really is.”
Katherine had nodded. She thought he was, too. She had just met him in a period of his life when he felt out-of-control and overwhelmed by the responsibility of being in power. The princess could relate, and she was hopeful that, someday soon, Matthew would be back where he belonged, and she could reveal her true identity to Caleb and start over, if he would forgive her for being less than honest with him.
Once she was sure her new charge was feeling better, Caroline patted her on the back, kissed her head and moved back to the stove. Katherine glanced around, wondering what she should do to help.
Caroline was back to mincing. She called over her shoulder, “Rose, dear, could you hand me that pot?”
Katherine noted the pot on the counter just in front of her and imagined she needed to place it on the fire. She was already reaching for it when Caroline added, “Be careful, dearest. It’s very hot.”
It was too late. The moment Katherine’s fingers touched the pot, a wave of agony washed over. She pulled her hand back immediately, a scream breaking free from her throat as she stared at her fingers. Blisters were forming in some places while in others the skin was already sloughing off. She squeezed her hand below the area, reeling in pain, tears pouring from her eyes as she gulped for air, wheezing, and leaning back against the counter trying to keep her feet beneath her.
Katherine was vaguely aware that Caroline was praying, or cussing, or both, and she seemed to be searching for something in the cabinets. Katherine prayed it was some sort of salve, something that would ease the horrendous pain.
But Caroline was not the first person to reach Katherine. Confusion washed over her as she felt strong hands on her shoulders. Through the veil of tears that impaired her vision, she recognized the king and noted the expression on his face was the same one she’d seen the day before when he’d gotten so angry in the sitting room.
Shaking her and forcing her to look at him, Caleb demanded, “So, you can’t make a single, solitary sound then?” Katherine struggled against him, trying to free herself from his grip and get to Caroline, in desperate need of that salve. Clearly, he didn’t understand what had happened, and she couldn’t explain. “How dare you lie to me!” he continued, holding her in place and pressing her up against the counter. She shook her head violently, trying to make him understand she hadn’t been lying, that she had no idea how she had managed to scream, but the king was not willing to listen to anyone at that moment, including Caroline who was shouting at him from across the room and then flew to Katherine’s aid.
“Let her go, Caleb!” Caroline demanded, trying to push her way between them.
Caleb did let go of her with one hand but only long enough to move Caroline away. “Stay out of this!” Katherine noticed the cook flinched, her eyes growing wide, and she imagined this might be as angry as even she had seen him. “There are consequences when a woman lies to the king!”
Grabbing her by the arm, Caleb dragged her toward the door. Katherine tried to dig her heels into the floor, but it was slick, and he was strong. She had no idea where he was taking her, but until she had that salve on her fingers, she didn’t want to leave the kitchen.
Caroline was yelling his name, but he had completely lost all self-control. He cleared the doorway, tugging her down the hall as Katherine continued to struggle. “You made such a big show of telling me you could not speak, even had me feeling sorry for you, thinking you’d tried so hard to make a sound, and it turns out you’ve been lying to me this entire time! You probably know exactly where Matthew is and just don’t want to tell me, you little whore!”
Katherine silently gasped for air. The pain from the burns and his fingers digging into her arm, was almost unbearable. He also had a large amount of her hair in his fist, which pulled her head back at a sharp angle and made it even more difficult to breathe. She was terrified of where they might be going and equally as panicked over what he might do to her once they reached their destination.
Caleb’s anger had not lessened by the time he reached a flight of stairs that led straight down. Thinking he might be taking her to the dungeon, Katherine tried her best to pull away from him. If she could get back to Caroline, or find Gordon, perhaps they would protect her until Caleb calmed down.
She was no match for his strength, though, and when she began to buck, he simply picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. Katherine continued to struggle, kicking and flailing, but he was much too strong for her, especially in her injured state, and she noted he didn’t even seem to be breathing hard when they reached the bottom of the stairs.
“Open the gate!” Caleb yelled. Katherine couldn’t see the guard, but she heard the jangling of keys and rusted iron hinges. Her feet hit the stone floor, but he didn’t release her. Instead, he dragged her by one arm the rest of the way into the cell, pulling her in front of him and pushing her up against the wall with one hand as he reached for the shackles with the other. By now, Katherine’s lungs were on fire. Realizing there was no way she could escape him, she stopped resisting and let him fasten the shackle around her wrist.
Once the metal clicked closed, Caleb leaned in close to her face and said, “Let’s see how loud you can scream now!” Overwhelmed with pain and terror, she sank to her knees, watching as he made his way out of the cell, kicking open the gate and slamming it behind him.
Before he even reached the top of the stairs, guilt began to set in. Caleb knew the entire time he was dragging the girl to her demise he was out of control, that he had crossed a line. Still, he did not stop and go back to her. Even if the girl had been lying to him, if she had been trying to deceive him, she hadn’t deserved the treatment he’d given her. Yet, he moved down the hallway, determined to get out of the castle before he could truly contemplate what he’d done. Once he was on the road to Blackthorn, he’d be occupied with other matters, and all thoughts of the kitchen whore would be shoved aside.
Caroline was standing in the hall near the kitchen, still holding the salve. The look of utter disbelief and disappointment on her face was enough to enrage him all over again and all thoughts of righting this wrong faded from his mind. Caroline started to say something, but as her mouth fell open, he shouted, “Don’t!” She jumped away from him. “I am going to find Matthew. So help me, God, if it is the last thing I do, I am going to find Matthew. No one touches that whore until I get back. Do you understand?”
She slowly nodded, suddenly stricken mute herself.
Curled up with her knees drawn tightly against her chest, next to the mossy stone wall, a puddle of mucky water beneath her, Katherine eventually ran out of tears. Her body continued to spasm uncontrollably for several hours. One hand was shackled to the wall, but the chain was long enough that she could sit with her arm resting on her head. After Caleb had left, the guard had come in and shackled both ankles. He’d left her burnt hand free out of pity, she supposed. The rusty metal was biting into her flesh already. She wanted to close her eyes, to go to sleep, to fade into oblivion.
The scurrying of rodents nearby kept her eyes open, though. Katherine was not a fan of rats. She had heard plenty of horror stories about prisoners in dungeons, some of them involving gnawing and bleeding to death. She wondered how long she could keep her eyes open and if it would even do her any good if the rats decided to investigate their newest neighbor.
In an attempt to keep from panicking further, she tried to find something pleasant to think about. Nothing came to mind, so she imagined her mother’s arms were around her, that she was safe in that warm embrace. Under the conditions it was difficult, but it kept her heart from beating out of her chest.
Losing her mind and attempting to scream would do her no good anyway. The prison guard was asleep outside of the gate, and he had already proven to be of little help. She could not see any other prisoners either. She may as well have been left there to die.
The pain in her fingers was all consuming. Even thoughts of her mother’s comforting embrace couldn’t dull it. If there was one small shred of fortune in an otherwise hopeless situation, at least her injured hand was free so she could rest it in the murky water at her knees. Applying some pressure helped as well, so she pressed the part of her fingers just below the burn down into the stone as tightly as she could.
The pain and shock was overwhelming, and Katherine found herself beginning to fade. So many questions flooded her head as she contemplated how Caleb could be so kind and gentle one moment and do something so heinous the next. She realized he had to be under enormous strain at the moment, and while she could never imagine treating another person the way he’d just treated her, she could see why he would be angry, thinking she had purposely deceived him.
She was lying to him after all. So was Rose. He’d discover the truth eventually. The possibility that he could launch an attack on Nadoria because of her deception seemed a possibility for the first time. She hoped she’d be able to explain that this hadn’t been her idea and that she’d only gone along with it because she’d been told he could be cruel—a fact he had demonstrated himself. But she’d had opportunities to reveal herself to him and hadn’t done so. Hiding her identity certainly hadn’t prevented her from getting hurt.
Katherine pressed herself to return to happier thoughts, bringing up images of her mother, and before long, she began to pray, something the queen had always encouraged her to do whenever she felt alone or upset. She prayed for the pain to stop. She prayed for sleep that she might forget her present miserable circumstances. She prayed that Matthew was found safely so that he may be reunited with his wife and be home at last. And she prayed that Caleb’s anger would subside, that he would find a place of solace against the unrelenting strain of commanding an army at war, searching frantically for his missing brother, and carrying the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders. With her lips still moving, at least one of her prayers were answered, and Katherine fell asleep in a puddle of dirty water far beneath the floors of Castle Caine.
