Line Change, page 8
“Do I need to be worried about whatever this is?” Jude asks, signaling to the doorway which Kyler has just departed and back to me.
“I just helped with his cuts, is all,” I explain, quickly putting away the first aid box and grabbing my water bottle.
“Just . . . be careful Thea,” Jude calls out me as I leave the kitchen.
One thing I know for certain, Jude’s cause for concern is not one I’ll take lightly, but I fear it’s already too late. I’ve started peeling back the layers of Kyler Rose and beneath the tough guy exterior, I’m convinced there is a sensitive, fragile soul who just needs to have someone on their side. And if it has to be me, then so be it.
ten
Kyler
Jude’s warning to his sister plays on repeat in my mind. I don’t think he expected me to hear him. In fact, I know he didn’t because he’s acting like nothing has changed. I don’t need my roommate and teammate, not to mention one of my closest friends, warning his baby sister about me. I know I’m trouble. I’m a tall, walking, talking mistake. I thought Jude trusted me. I guess not. More so, he hasn’t even asked where I’ve been. Since that fateful morning, I haven’t been in the house other than to change my clothes. I didn’t even bother to look in the refrigerator to see if Thea had left me anything because I don’t want to feel any worse than I already do when it comes to her. She’s undoubtedly the sweetest person I know, and the last thing she needs is to get tangled up with a guy like me.
I make sure to hide any evidence I slept on the couch in the locker room. It wasn’t my plan, but I fell asleep studying and when I woke about three a.m., the last thing I wanted was to be questioned by security as to why I’m out walking through campus in the middle of the night. I don’t need anything jeopardizing my scholarship. This also isn’t my first night here. Since Jude uttered the words I thought he would never have to, I’ve crashed at my mom’s, slept in the office at the bar, and took up residence on this couch. Oddly, sleeping in the locker room has been the most peaceful sleep I’ve had since Thea’s arrival. I don’t have to hear her in the middle of the night. I don’t have to smell her perfume or expect to find her in the kitchen when I get home from work. And I don’t have to wonder what’s going on in her room. She’s out of sight, out of mind.
Except, she isn’t.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her and wondering what she’s doing. I hate the fact I can’t get her out of my mind. And just when I think she’s gone from my thoughts, she walks by me on campus, not realizing I’m there. I may have ducked behind a tree a time or two, but only so I wouldn’t have to explain myself and so I could watch her freely without being accused of lurking. I’m beyond thankful we don’t have any classes together and Marty hasn’t mentioned her since I put the fear of God into him. I’m tempted to ask but there’s no point. I warned Marty and it would be foolish of me to bring her up.
My blades cut through the freshly-groomed ice. The arena is still dark. This is the benefit of sleeping in the locker room—I’m the first on the ice. This is the only time I feel at peace. It’s just me, my stick, the puck, and the cold surface I hope will provide me financial stability. Once I’m in the NHL, there is so much I’ll be able to do. I drop the puck and work my stick from side to side. I love the sound of my blades cutting into the ice. The whoosh excites me.
When I cross center line, I speed up and imagine the arena full of parents and students, cheering. I love the roar of the crowd when we score and hearing them chant NU over and over. I need for this season to start. I need to wear my uniform, hear the national anthem, and focus on winning. Losing is not an option. I want another National Championship. I need it.
The lights come on and I stop my pursuit to the goal. The coaching staff is out first, and they dump a bucket of pucks onto the ice. I skate over to the bench and stop just shy of the boards.
“Hey, Coach.” I rest my stick against the board and reach for my water. I’m not thirsty but I need to stay hydrated. One thing about not being at the house all the time is I’m scraping by when it comes to my fitness. It’s not like I can count on my mom to cook me anything decent. Her idea of a healthy meal is top ramen and hot dogs. Another reason I work so much, so there’s always food in the cupboard for Lacey.
“Rose,” Coach says. “I like seeing you on the ice early.”
“Thanks.”
“Make sure you stretch well.” He takes one last look at me and leaves. Until the season starts, he can’t coach us, but we still have a captain’s practice. It’s not required, but if you don’t show up, you better have a damn good explanation as to why. Work, studying—none of those matter—what matters is you’re on the ice and you’re getting better.
The guys start to come out of the locker room. As soon as they touch the ice, their sticks are down and they’re slapping a puck around. I start to stretch because Coach is right. I need to. My back is killing me, and I feel out of whack, which means I need to set a time with the trainer to get some stim. Everything feels tight and it’s a good way to get hurt.
“Hey man, Thea’s worried about you. Says you haven’t been eating the food she leaves you in the fridge.” Jude skates over and starts his stretching exercises next to me.
Dammit, I told her to stop. “She doesn’t need to worry.”
“Clearly, you don’t know my sister. She’s like a room mother or mother hen. I’m not sure which is worse. Regardless, she cares and wants us to eat right and all that sort of shit. So, eat her food.”
“I can’t afford to pay her for it.”
“There’s nothing to pay for. The money my parents are saving by having her live at the house, they’re giving to her to buy food. It’s the tradeoff. Eat the damn food, Ky. Unless you don’t like it. If that’s the case, just take your plate to your room and when she’s not looking, flush it.”
I laugh and shake my head. “She’s a good cook.”
“Yeah, she is, and she’s worried about you. So just . . . I don’t know, stop making her worry.” Jude’s words confuse me. He warned her to stay away from me, yet he wants me to put in an effort to please her. I know the situations aren’t even remotely the same, but still.
“Anyway,” he starts, “where ya been staying?”
“My room,” I state, but look at him questioningly.
“Liar. Devon, Nolan, and I know you haven’t been staying at the house. It’s been a few weeks, no Ky. Is it because of Thea?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
I look around to see who is listening. It’s just Jude and I in the corner and the others are either taking shots on goal or twirling around like ballerinas. When I’m captain, this type of shit won’t happen.
“There’s just a lot of shit going on at home. It’s hard to be in multiple places all the time. Hell, it’s hard to be me and then the person my mom needs me to be. She’s got some shit going on at the park and is probably going to lose her house, which doesn’t seem to faze her because she knows I’ll figure something out. She’s constantly drowning in debt, which again, doesn’t bother her because she expects me to sign some multi-million-dollar contract so I can bail her out.”
“I’m sorry, Ky.”
“I know,” I tell him. “I’m just trying to be the best out here, on the ice and in school. I wish a thousand times over I had gone away for school because then I wouldn’t have to deal with her, but then I’d be a wreck wondering if she paid her electric bill or has money for groceries.”
Jude sighs. Out of all my roommates, he’s the only who knows about my mom’s living situation and he’s the only one who has been to her house. I’d be embarrassed if my teammates showed up there and saw where we live.
The three captains whistle for practice to start. Jude pats me on the back and tells me everything will work out and to text his sister to let her know I’m still alive and breathing. It’s probably a good thing since the last time I saw her, she patched up the cuts on my face and put the miracle cream on my ribs. Thankfully, when I went and fought for money last week, I taped them up pretty good and didn’t sustain any damage. I have a career riding on the line for the grand I’m earning each time I let someone punch me.
When we’re done, I change and head to the trainer. He works on my back, kneading the knots away. Everything feels fine until he gets to my ribs.
“That’s a nasty bruise,” he says. “Did you take a bad hit?”
“Sort of,” I tell him. I can’t be honest. Hell, I haven’t even told my mom how I was able to pay her rent for next month. “Doesn’t hurt.” I lie and I hate it.
The trainer continues to work my back until it’s loose. “I don’t speculate, but if you’re in trouble, let me know.”
“Thanks.” I hop down and wobble back to the locker room. Thankfully, most of the guys are gone, but so is most of the hot water. I should’ve showered first, but whatever, I can deal with the lukewarm water. I make quick work of the soap, wash my hair, rinse everything off, and then shut the water off. At my locker, I go through my routine and once I’m dressed, I pull my phone out of my bag and see a text.
Jude
Text Thea or just come home.
Even though his words have some truth to them, I don’t think he understands how hurtful they were. I know they weren’t meant for my ears, but I heard them, nonetheless. Am I really such a bad person he must warn his sister? The answer is yes. I’d warn my sister away from someone like me in a heartbeat. I digress though and send her a text.
Sorry I haven’t eaten the dinners.
I don’t even have time to put my phone away before the chat bubbles appear.
Thea Jensen
Where have you been? I wait up for you and you never come home. Are you okay? I’m worried.
Why is she worried when she doesn’t even know me? I frown at my phone. The last thing I want is for her to think about me, to worry about me, to even care about me. She needs to live her life, enjoy college, and think of me as a guy who sleeps on the second floor. Not one who comes home at all hours of the night, beaten and battered.
You should get your beauty sleep ☺
Thea Jensen
Are you saying I’m ugly???
You’re so far from ugly.
Never. And any guy who says you are, isn’t worth your time.
There I go, big brother mode.
Thea Jensen
I miss seeing you, Ky.
There it is again, this time in print. She called me Ky the other day and I almost blew a nut. The way she shortened my name sent shock waves right to my groin. And now I have it in writing. I bang my head against the locker and groan. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” There’s no one to answer, probably because no one knows what to say. I’d love to be the type of man she deserves, but it’s not in the cards for us. I’m damaged, responsible for two grown women and a kindergartener, who are going to follow me wherever I go. How does someone build a relationship when there is so much baggage?
I let her text simmer. I don’t know how to respond to her without either coming off as rude or giving her an that inclination I like her. I’m in a tough spot and no matter what I say, it’s going to come out wrong on her end.
In the end, I don’t text her back. I pocket my phone, close my locker, and head anywhere but the house.
eleven
Thea
September turns to October, and Northport comes alive with fall colors. If I thought this place was picturesque before, it really is something else with the hints of reds, oranges, and yellows adorning the trees in the streets and on campus. The semester is in full swing, and I’m really enjoying my classes. There’s a good group of students in my nutrition class and we all get along well, which is a relief. Well, apart from Marty Edwards who sometimes makes a leery comment or two, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. We all know a guy like him. The type who thinks he’s the super-popular jock with people falling at his feet, or the funny guy with the one-liners everyone laughs at. In reality, he’s the guy who tries too hard to be the class clown and the laughs are probably out of sympathy. I feel for him. The funny, cocky exterior might be a guise for something more serious going on in his private life so I’m patient with him. You never know if it might be a cry for help. And there I go with the pseudo psych analysis. What is it with me trying to figure out the inner workings of complicated boys?
Speaking of which, after his text exchange with me a few weeks ago, yet again, Kyler Rose has become a ghost. Either that, or he’s simply ghosting me. I’ve long stopped trying to figure him out. I’ve had to, because it was consuming me day in and day out, and it was driving me crazy. The last thing I need is to become obsessed with someone who clearly wants to be left alone. Jude assures me it’s not me, it’s Kyler who has the issue, and once again said he’s got some things going on in his personal life which are taking up a lot of his time and keeping him away from the house. I get it. We all have things in our personal life that consume us from time to time, but what’s his excuse for trying to avoid me at school? He may think he’s stealthy enough to jump behind a tree when he sees me, but I still see him lurking in the shadows. If that’s the way he wants to play it, then so be it. He’s a distraction I do not need.
As is tradition at this time of year, Halloween parties are at the forefront of everyone’s mind and it’s no different back at the house. Apparently, it’s our turn to hold the party at our place, as Mikko, Brad, Saul, and Mike had it at theirs last year. It makes sense we take it in turns as we live on the same street, and at least this means we can be in control of drinks and snacks. Thankfully, it’s not going to be too wild—my roommates are not the type to say it’s open invite—and the guest list includes the hockey team, my classmates, and some other friends of the boys. Millie also has her own set of invites since she’s here most of the time and is an honorary roomie. In all honesty, she might as well move in and take the seemingly vacant room on the second floor, but I guess evicting someone on the basis they are never at home is grounds for being sued.
“So, we need a theme for this year, any thoughts?” Jude asks as we have an impromptu house meeting around the breakfast bar.
“Doctors and nurses?” Nolan immediately suggests, causing groans and a unanimous shout of “veto” from the rest of us.
“I literally don’t understand why this suggestion gets shut down every year,” he complains.
“Because, moron, the sexy nurse thing is so last decade. Plus, you only suggest it so you can see the girls in their tight skimpy outfits while all you guys can get away with wearing a lame shirt and tie and borrow a white coat from a med student.” Millie’s reply comes with a hint of a bite, and I can’t say I blame her; she has a point.
“All right, Mills, don’t get your panties all in a twist,” Nolan teases her.
“You wish I got my panties in a twist over something you said, Noles. Keep trying, sweetie.”
I’ve quickly come to realize this kind of back and forth between Millie and Nolan is usual with them and is a combination of acerbic wit and flirty banter. Neither of them gets offended by the little digs though, so we just tend to let them get on with it.
“Any other suggestions?” Jude patiently continues.
“How about heroes and villains?” Devon offers. “I know it’s been done before, but with the recent onslaught of comic book films being released, at least it’ll be on trend. Which means, there’s bound to be more to choose from costume wise.”
“I’m happy with that,” I agree. “In fact, I’m sure I saw some costumes in the mall the other day, which we can pick up for us. Assuming you’re all happy for us to choose for you?”
“Yes please. You’d be saving us a whole heap of time,” Jude says. “Especially since we’ve got a couple of games coming up, so it’ll be cutting it tight for us to try and get something.”
“No problem. Leave it with us.”
“No screwing us over though, Thea. And especially you, Mills,” Nolan warns us. Millie gives him a wink in response.
“You can trust us, honey,” she tells him, and we grab our purses and leave the house.
It turns out the costume shop has a ton of costumes for our theme and so we’re a little spoiled for choice on what to get. It’s proof that it pays to be organized and I’m thankful we’re not scrambling for last minute costumes and having to settle for whatever dregs are left. Millie settles for an all-in-one black catsuit together with cat ears and tail on the basis she’s going as Catwoman. I opt for a cute Wonder Woman outfit which comes with truth rope and cuffs. As for the boys, the choice was fairly easy. We picked a Joker outfit for Jude, Captain America for Devon, and Thor for Nolan. Millie had great pleasure in picking Nolan’s out for him, saying the long-haired wig and knee-high boots will suit him. I’m not entirely sure he’d agree, but knowing Nolan, he’ll take the challenge and rock the heck out of it.
“Sooo, without wanting to talk about the elephant—or elephants—in the room, but are we getting costumes for the broody one and the boyfriend?” Millie asks.
I raise my eyebrows at her before responding. “Kyler, your guess is as good as mine. Adam, no. Apparently, he has to work all weekend so can’t drive up.”
The truth is, I’ve not seen Adam since the housewarming party. Sure, we’ve spoken on the phone and FaceTimed, but it’s not the same as seeing him face to face. It’s not as if I can drive to see him, seeing as I don’t have my own car. I feel funny about asking one of the boys if I can borrow theirs, especially as they are so busy all the time and need to transport their huge amount of hockey gear everywhere. Besides, it’s not as if I haven’t asked Adam to come and visit. I have, many times. But each time, I always get an “I’m not sure” or an “I’ve got to finish a project this weekend” and I’m left with a non-committal maybe and a last-minute cancellation. I’m not sure when things started to change between us, but it’s obvious they have. We’re not the same Thea and Adam we were in Silver Lake and the thought saddens me.
