Here With Us, page 3
“You know, most brides have a dress months before their big day, not weeks,” Penny says as she looks through a rack of dresses. I sigh heavily, knowing she’s right, even though I have a valid excuse.
“I didn’t like any of the dresses in Washington. I looked.”
“Liar,” Lois adds. I glare at her, wishing I could maim her with lasers from my eyes or something. Instead, I immaturely stick my tongue out at her. She laughs because what else is there to do? I’m the bride and everyone has to treat me like I’m a princess.
“Here.” My mom hands me a glass of champagne while Alex, of Alexandra’s Bridal, hands one to Lois, Livvie, and Penny. “Drink this.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” I ask her before I take a sip.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing, Ryley. Trying to get you drunk so you’re too wasted to pick a dress and you’ll wear whatever we pick out for you.”
The room goes silent. I stare at my mother, wondering where in the hell that outburst came from. I open my mouth to say something, but for the life of me I can’t think of how to reply. A snicker sounds from behind me and then my mother breaks out in complete laughter.
“Not cool, Mother.”
She keels over with laughter, slapping her leg with her in hand in the process. I’m happy she thinks this ordeal is hilarious. I finish my champagne in one gulp and set the flute on the glass countertop. Once my mom has regained her composure, she pulls me in for a hug.
“I was only joking, dear. Come on, let’s find you the perfect dress.” She leads me to the back room where there’s a semi-circle sofa on one side, massively large mirrors with dressing rooms on the other side, and a pedestal in the middle. There’s a coffee table with more champagne and various fruits.
Alex leads me into the dressing room, which is really a large walk-in closet. “Everything I’ve chosen comes in your size. With your wedding so close we won’t have time to do serious alterations.”
“I understand.”
She doesn’t show me my first dress but helps me slip into it. Once she has it fastened in the back, Alex tells me to turn around. When we first talked, she told me it’ll be my first impression of the dress that will matter the most. So, as I look in the mirror and study my reflection, I know the satin, A-line gown I’m wearing is not for me. It’s poofy and big, and while it’s pretty, I don’t like it.
“Let’s go show everyone.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I know, sweetie. I can tell by the look on your face. Would you like to show your mom anyway?”
I hesitate for a second and then nod. I doubt anything she, Lois, Livvie, or Penny, say will change my mind, but their opinions matter. Alex pulls the curtain aside and I step out. Instantly, all eyes are on me, and I can tell they’re not a fan, which honestly, is a huge relief. Before anyone has a chance to tell me, I step back into the room and Alex closes the curtain.
“Well, this is a no.” She laughs as she unzips the dress. The next four are the same. They’re either too short, too long, too sexy, or just not what I’m looking for. I start to think I really messed up by waiting so long to find the right dress for me.
Alex excuses herself, saying she has one more for me to try on. One more. Another jab, although I’m sure unintended, that I’m exhausting all my options. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror right now because I don’t want to see the disappointment etched across my face.
When she returns, she’s carrying an ivory-colored gown, a color I specifically told her I didn’t want to wear. Before I can protest, she holds her hand up.
“The color is wrong, I know. But try it on. I think you might be surprised.”
I nod. At this point, I have nothing left to lose.
Alex tells me to turn around so that I’m facing the wall. While I step into the gown, she says, “This came in the other day. It’s a gorgeous dress and perfect for the beach.” I slip my arms into the straps and glance down at the dress. I’m unsure, mostly because of the color. In my dreams, I’m a bride in the purest white dress walking toward her prince.
“Turn around,” Alex whispers. I do so, but slowly, and when I see my reflection, a tear falls down my cheek. I let out a sob and quickly cover my mouth.
“I thought so too.” Alex stands next to me. “You look radiant.”
I can’t help but nod because I see it, the dress of my dreams, only different. The ivory is embroidered with flowers, leaves and other intricate designs. Alex tells me it’s a double V-neck design with an A-line skirt. None of which matters right now because when I look at myself, I see the bride I want to be walking toward my groom. This dress is the definition of perfect.
“Best of all,” Alex says as she shows me the train. “Is that it has pockets.”
“What?”
She nods and smiles brightly.
My hands run down the fabric until they’re nestled deep within the pockets. “Wow, crazy.”
“Do you want to show your mom?”
Alex takes my arm without waiting for a response and guides me to the door. She steps out and says something to my mom, Livvie and Penny, and then pulls the curtain back. When I walk out, they’re all facing the other direction and I know Alex has done this so they can see me standing on the pedestal instead of walking toward it. She situates the train and then tells them to turn around.
There’s a collective gasp among them and all three have their hands covering their mouths.
“You found it,” Lois tells me.
“Ryley, this is it,” Penny says.
“Evan is going to faint,” Livvie adds.
“Simply breathtaking,” my mom says as she wipes away fallen tears. This dress must be the one if both my mom and I cried.
“How much is it?” I ask Alex.
“It doesn’t matter,” Mom says. “We’ll take it.”
My mom drives us to the café near base to have lunch instead of heading to her house, where all my bridal stuff is stored. My dress is in the back of her SUV, and I’m nervous about it. Right now, I want it hanging in the closet, where I know it’ll be safe. I can’t leave anything at home because Evan is a snoop, even when he doesn’t mean to be. We talked previously about the whole not seeing the bride before the wedding thing and said it wasn’t for us, but now that I have my dress, now that things seem more real, I think I want that. I also don’t want to spend a night away from Evan, but I might have to make a sacrifice just this once.
Mom parks along the curb and we all pile out of her car. It takes me a second to realize where we are. I stand on the sidewalk and stare at the intersection where it all happened. That day, I had met Cara for lunch, even though I had plans to meet Nate. My life was a mess. Evan, Nate and I were in this love triangle that should’ve never happened, and Evan feared for his life. Someone wanted him dead.
After I met with Cara and she talked non-stop about Nate, I knew then I was going to tell Nate my decision, only I felt like it was more for Nate than me. I texted my mom and asked her to pick me up, and then met Nate for ice cream and handed him his engagement ring back. I left him there, with Cara waiting.
My mom and I weren’t in the car for a minute when a semi-truck plowed into us. I remember everything from that moment: the impact, the smell of rubber, the heat from the fire in the engine. I remember the screaming and all the sailors running toward us. I remember seeing Nate coming as fast as he could, and then my memory goes blank. The car exploded, but not before some guys from base pulled my mom and I out of it. She suffered most of the damages to her arm and leg, then had to be confined to a wheelchair. I broke my wrist, but this was only the beginning of the bullshit we would endure at the hands of Frannie Riveria.
“Ryley,” my mom stands next to me and reaches for my hand, which now throbs.
“This is my first time back.”
“We can go somewhere else?” My mom is tough. She returned to work months later and did everything she could to help Evan and his team figure out what was going on. Sometimes I wonder if anything ever fazes her.
“No, I need to learn to deal with the trauma. I live here now. I’ll have to drive by here all the time.” I turn to go into the café only to find Penny standing in front of me. She wraps her arm around me and pulls me close to her. We walk into the restaurant together and wait for the hostess to seat us.
“Only the strong survive,” Penny whispers in my ear. She’s right, and she’s the strongest woman I know. What she went through, the lengths she took to keep her daughter safe, I don’t know if I could ever be that brave.
As soon as we all sit down, the hostess brings us a basket of fresh tortilla chips. I reach for one first and dip it into the bowl of salsa sitting next to it. “I missed this while in Washington. I swear, I may have lived there most of my life, but southern Cali has the best food.”
“I agree,” mom says. “This is my favorite cantina. I could eat here every day.”
“Same,” Lois adds as she takes a chip. “So, since no one brought it up at the bridal shower I’m going to. Ryley, are you and Evan going to have more kids?”
The chip I have poised to enter my mouth stops and mocks me. I don’t know whether to set it down or stuff it into my mouth to avoid the question. If you would have asked me years ago if we were going to have more kids and the answer is yes, ask me now and it’s a giant I don’t know.
“Oh, I don’t . . . Evan and I haven’t really talked about it. EJ comes first ‘ya know, with him starting school and—”
“And it’s about time he calls Evan dad, instead of Eban,” my mom says.
“He doesn’t say Eban anymore, and honestly I sort of miss it. The dad thing, I know Evan hates it, but I can’t force EJ to say it. It has to come naturally, at least that’s what the therapist said.”
“I remember the first time Claire called Tucker dad. I think I cried for an hour. I was happy, sad, and every emotion in between.”
“Why?” Livvie asks.
Penny take a deep breath. “I was happy for Tucker, but sad because of Ray. No matter how I look at my life, I spent years thinking my husband was gone, and I married another man who raised my daughter. Ray was a good man, even if . . .”
I set my hand down on top of hers. Evan and Tucker have speculated that Ray was somehow involved, but there isn’t any proof, at least none that they have found. Evan tells me that he’s let this all go, but I’m not so sure he has. There’s a reason Justin Rask is still enlisted, and Tucker McCoy is “working” for the Navy. We have people on the inside, and I have a feeling this thing that started years ago is far from over.
CHAPTER 5
EVAN
Years ago, Ryley told me she wanted to get married on our beach—Coronado Beach. I don’t remember when this became our spot, but it did. Maybe it’s because the weather is always perfect, even if it is too hot at times or because this is where my team would get together before we’d head downrange. Whatever made the beach our place, it’s all a moot point now because we live within walking distance and are finally getting married there. It seems like every dream we had as a young couple is finally coming to fruition. I thought after Tucker and Penny exchanged vows on the beach, Ryley would opt for another locale, but she’s never wavered. The only thing that has changed is the guest list. Years ago, it would have been a hundred or so deep. Now, it’s a handful. It’ll be our friends and family—the people we hold close to us. My teammates will be there, my mom and sister, my brother, and my son, and the two people I have considered a part of my life since Ryley and I started dating—her parents. Of course, my bride will be there, walking down the sandy aisle toward me and our son. We’ll finally share the same last name.
Today is our final suit fitting and it’s the last thing I want to do. I’m not a fan of strangers asking me how I hang. It seems like an intrusive question and I’m not overly keen with the store clerks asking EJ this as well. It seems like pants should be made to accommodate whoever, at least that’s how the NWUs are.
Everyone meets at my house. The ladies are dress shopping today, while us men are doing the least manly thing ever. I try not to let it bother me that Ryley hasn’t picked out a dress. She’s had our suits on order for months, but no dress. From what I gather, after looking at all her bridal magazines, this is not normal behavior for a bride. It’s probably a good thing I’m confident in her love for me, and honestly, I don’t care if she wears her robe. I know she’ll be walking toward me as the sun sets over the pacific.
Jensen decides to drive. I sit up front with him, while Nate, Tucker and EJ sit in the back. I stare out the window while Jensen makes small talk with the guys. They’re talking about soccer, which isn’t a sport I follow. I’m down for a Sunday afternoon of watching football with my friends, and love that our new house is accommodating for everyone. Part of me doesn’t want to admit that I’m happy we’re back. I refuse to let my guard down, even with Frannie dead and her disgusting piece of shit brother behind bars. Now that I’m back, maybe I’ll pay a visit to Ted Lawson and make sure his life is a living hell. Honestly, hell is too good of a place for someone like him, and death is too easy. Even though I know he’s behind bars, I still look for him on the streets––same with Frannie. I know she’s dead, but I also don’t buy that there aren't any other players in this game of theirs.
Jensen pulls into the parking lot of a strip mall in San Diego. I must’ve been so lost in thought that I don’t remember crossing the bridge to get off the island. It’s crazy how one thought can pull you away from everything around you. We get out of the car and follow Jensen toward the men’s fashion store. He holds EJ’s hand, while Nate, Tucker, and I walk side by side. There’s a lady walking toward us. She looks at us with wide eyes and then darts out of our way. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I imagine the three of us look rather frightening. Too bad she doesn’t know we used to be the guys who saved lives. I miss that life and hate that people ripped it away from me.
The salesclerk greets us as soon as we walk in. Jensen gives him our name and tells him that we have an appointment for a final fitting. While the clerk gets everything situated, I take a walk around, for no other reason than boredom. The last time I was in a store like this, it was to get my tuxedo for prom. I took Ryley and it was one of the best nights of my life. We were so young and had the world ahead of us. We thought we were going to conquer the world.
My fingers touch the material on the coat in front of me. While the fabric is nice, it’s not what I thought I’d wear to my wedding. This wedding should’ve happened years ago, before our son was born, with me in my dress uniform. But again, someone took it upon themselves to involve me and my family in their sick and twisted plan. The only positive from all of this is that Ryley sued the Navy on behalf of EJ and won big. Our son is set and probably won’t ever have to work a day in his life if he doesn’t want to.
Jensen calls my name and motions for me to follow him. We head to the back where the dressing rooms and mirrors are set up. Tucker and Nate go first, leaving Jensen, EJ, and I to whistle and catcall when they come out.
“You boys be fancy,” I say when they step out of the rooms. Tucker flips me off and Nate tells me to pound sand. Another clerk joins us and the two of them poke, prod, and pull every which way they can. I chuckle when Nate almost falls over.
“Just wait until it’s your turn,” he says, eyeing me. I salute him.
When they’re done, they change, and the clerks take their suits to the counter. EJ goes into the dressing room with me. The last thing I want is for him to have a meltdown because he can’t figure things out. I could have asked Nate to help him, but no. I want this to be an experience we share together. Once I’m dressed, I help EJ tuck his shirt in, and show him a trick by tucking it into his underwear and pulling the flaps down. He thinks it’s hilarious that his shirt is in his underwear, but whatever. It’ll stay tucked in longer this way.
We come out and sure enough, Nate is leading the catcalling. I tell EJ to bow and he does. I take my son to stand in front of the mirror. I want to get a good look at him. He’s growing fast and about to enter the second grade. His mop top hair is a combination of Ryley’s red and my deep brown, and the lucky guy even has curls. The girls are going to go crazy for the curls.
“What do you think?” I ask him while we stand there in our linen suits. The color is a light tan or khaki, I’m not sure what the actual name is. Our dress shirts are white, and thankfully I don’t have to wear a tie or bowtie, neither do the guys.
“We look nice,” EJ says. “Do you think Grace will like it?”
Grace, Carter and Lois’s daughter, who is the same age as EJ is over the moon happy that he’s back. She’s a little upset though because we moved to Coronado instead of San Diego and they won’t be in the same class together, but the playdates are scheduled. EJ informed us that he plans to dance with Grace at the reception. I don’t know if Ryley and I should be scared or what. I’m not ready for my son to have a crush. I feel like I’m still getting to know him.
“I think she will say you’re handsome.”
“What color is she wearing?”
I shake my head. “I’m not sure, bud. You’ll have to ask your mom.”
EJ and I stand there for another long minute, just staring at each other through the mirror. “Are you ready to be my best man?”
He nods. “I even wrote a speech.”
I turn his shoulders so I can look into his eyes. “You did?”
“Yep. Papa told me that as the best man, I have to give a speech, so I wrote one.”
“I can’t wait to hear it, son.” Please call me dad.
EJ smiles, showing me that he’s missing his bottom two teeth. I never thought I’d find joy in being the tooth fairy, but damn, it’s been fun sneaking into his room to hide money under his pillow.
After we settle up with the clerk, we head back to the car and lay each suit bag in the trunk. My phone chimes and I step to the side to read the message from Ryley.
