Second Chance at the Orchard Inn, page 33
“I don’t know…” June mused.
“Well, believe me, I do.”
Devin and Han had both been plenty clear. A bitter taste formed at the back of her mouth.
At first, the whole off-limits thing had been kind of fun. But the more time they spent together, the more it twisted her up inside.
Being someone’s dirty little secret wasn’t great for the ego.
Not that that was stopping her from developing—ugh—feelings for the guy.
Yeah, she might be in denial about a lot of things, but that was a tough one to get away from. She wasn’t an idiot. The way his touch made her feel all warm and squishy inside, the way her thoughts kept drifting to him throughout the day…It was like her teenage crush, only times a million, because now she knew he liked her, too.
Maybe not as much as she liked him, but more than enough to keep throwing gasoline on the fire in her chest.
She was saved from having to downplay things to June and Bobbi any further by Han flicking off the burners with a flourish. “Okay, y’all, grub’s up.”
Zoe downed another gulp of her wine before excusing herself. This was old hat. Positioning herself at her brother’s side, she passed him plates, and he portioned out the food.
Her mouth watered. Han had been refining his stable of experimental dishes for ages, and they just kept getting better. Tonight’s menu included a rice dish with pickled ginger and edamame, plus seared scallops in a basil sauce she never would have thought would work, but it did. Baby bok choy that he’d cooked over a little electric grill, and some mystery egg tarts he’d done in the oven. He scattered the lot with a drizzle of vibrant green and white sauces, chopped nori, and sesame.
Devin stepped in to pass the completed dishes out.
“Wow,” Caitlin said as she received the first plate.
“Let me know what you think.”
Zoe frowned at her brother. His voice had a different pitch to it. He was always proud of his cooking, but the nerves jangling around in there were new.
She didn’t have much time to think about it. Before she knew it, everyone had a plate in hand. As they found places to sit or stand, appreciative moans and compliments sounded out around the room. Han shone a sly smile as he started eating, too, Ling-Ling parked hopefully at his feet. He made a running commentary—he always did. What worked and what hadn’t, though as far as Zoe was concerned, it was all a hit.
The regulars in Han’s guinea pig squad were easy to spot as they echoed Han’s comments. Devin was a down-to-earth guy, but he’d been hanging out with Han long enough to mention something about the butter-to-shortening ratio in the crust of the savory egg tart. Zoe shook her head and just kept shoveling it in.
One of Han and Devin’s buddies, Terrell, snapped his fingers. “I know what this reminds me of. That thing you made for my sister’s wedding.”
Han tipped his head to the side. “Did I do shrimp for that?”
“No, but the sauce.”
“That was totally different,” Han said.
Devin scrunched up his nose. “It was kind of the same.”
“You know what it reminds me of?” June interjected.
“What?” Han asked. “And please tell me you have a better memory than these guys.”
“She usually does.” Clay chuckled, and Devin elbowed him in the ribs.
“Graduation,” June said, sure of herself. “Your year. That meal you did at our place.”
“Oh.” A shadow crept across Han’s gaze.
Right. Any meal he would have made at the Wu-Miller house would have been because of May.
Devin looked at Han with the same concern Zoe felt.
As if realizing her mistake in bringing that up, June continued. “Though this is way better. I mean, the graduation meal was amazing, but these egg tarts are next level. What’s in them again?”
Han rattled off some of the ingredients.
Devin cleared his throat. “I think it’s more like that Thanksgiving you cooked—what was it? Twenty seventeen?”
Han pulled a face. “That menu was totally different.”
“Yeah, but the basil—”
“Oh man,” Terrell said, elbowing his buddy. “New Year’s Eve, like, five years ago.”
“Yeah!” The dude’s eyes lit up. He waved a hand at Han. “The one you did at the park.”
“Fried turkey,” Han agreed. “Seriously, guys, that was nothing like this.”
“Didn’t you have little pastries? I swear there was, like, basil in them like this.”
“The basil is in the sauce.” Han was smiling again now, which was something.
“Oh! Oh!” Terrell held up a finger. “Wasn’t that the year we were picking gravel out of the cupcakes?”
“Man, who baked those?”
“Pretty sure it was me.” Bobbi grinned.
“They were so good, it was totally worth it, even when—”
Devin slammed his plate down on the counter. His fork clattered against the china. Ling-Ling whined.
Suddenly, everyone got quiet.
Zoe sucked in a breath. Devin’s face had turned a shade of purple. Thunderheads colored his eyes.
“What?” she asked.
Devin’s gaze connected with hers for a fraction of a second, and it was like an iron band closed around her heart.
Devin glanced away. “Excuse me.”
He stalked off. Zoe put her plate down. The band around her heart released, but it was replaced by a freaking jackrabbit, jumping up and down on the insides of her chest so fast, she could hardly breathe. She gripped the edge of the counter she’d been leaning against until her knuckles turned white.
Everything in her told her to follow him. His gaze was seared into her. His eyes had looked so angry.
But more than that, he’d looked so…
Lost.
A door slammed in the distance, and Zoe squeezed the counter even tighter. Han smacked himself in the forehead, then reached over to cuff Terrell on the back of his head, too.
“Ow—”
“Devin’s dad,” Han hissed. “Remember?”
“Wait.” Zoe should shut up, but she couldn’t. “What—”
Han shook his head.
Wincing, Terrell scrubbed at his face. “Oh, right. Crap.”
Quietly, Bobbi turned to Zoe. “Devin’s dad showed up drunk. He knocked over the cupcakes.”
“Said some really awful stuff, too,” Han added.
Zoe stared toward the corner Devin had disappeared around. It was like she was being yanked in that direction. He’d told her the other night that his dad wasn’t a good guy, but seeing his reaction to someone bringing up that memory now…
She bit the inside of her lip.
Was he okay? No, of course not. How could he be?
She wanted so badly to chase after him. If she were really his girlfriend, she would do just that. She’d put her arms around him and hold him tight, and maybe—maybe he’d even let her.
Her stomach plummeted to the floor.
The only problem was that she wasn’t. If she gave them away, he’d be even more furious—furious at her.
But she couldn’t ignore this pull.
“Shouldn’t someone go after him?” she asked.
Han shook his head. “Just makes it worse.”
Everyone seemed to take that as definitive.
Slowly, people started eating and talking again, but Zoe couldn’t hear any of it. She was listening so carefully for any sort of sound from the hallway. When she heard the bathroom door open, her heart leaped.
Speaking to no one in particular, she said, “I have to…”
She pulled out her phone as if that would explain her needing to step away.
June gave her a knowing glance that bordered on encouragement. Accepting that unexpected morsel of support, she took off down the hall at a measured pace, but as soon as she was out of sight, she couldn’t help it. She broke into an all-out sprint.
Only to almost crash into Devin. His jaw was set, storms still brewing in his eyes, and she’d just come out here to check on him.
But she couldn’t stand this.
She grabbed him by the wrist and hauled him down the hall.
“Zo—”
He resisted, but he finally let himself be dragged into the next available room with a door. It was Lian’s old room—now her mother’s sewing room, but it would do. Her mom was working at the restaurant tonight, so she wouldn’t notice.
As soon as the door was closed behind them, she launched herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his chest, but he was stone.
“You don’t have to—” he gritted out.
“Shh.”
He shook his head, but she wasn’t having any of it.
She shushed him again. He stayed as stiff as a board for a long moment. Crap. Maybe she’d misread this entire thing. Maybe he didn’t need comfort.
Maybe he didn’t want any from her.
Well, too bad. She was giving it to him anyway.
She’d give him anything.
She clenched her eyes tight. That was probably so stupid of her. He wasn’t in this with her for real. Even if he were—what kind of future could they have? He’d never be willing to face Han’s wrath or risk Arthur’s judgment. There wasn’t any place for her in his lonely loner’s house in the woods. Who knew how long she’d be staying in Blue Cedar Falls anyway? Getting invested was a waste, but she couldn’t seem to fight it anymore.
Finally, Devin let out a sigh. He curled his arms around her, too. His posture softened as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m fine,” he told her.
“I know.” People banging dishes on counters and leaving in a huff—that was always a sign that they were fine.
“I just…”
She leaned back so she could look him in the eye. The anger had faded from his gaze, replaced by something that made him look tired and older than he was. She sucked in a breath. “Han said it was something to do with your father?”
Devin nodded grimly. He pulled her back into a hug, her face pressed to his chest. Normally, she wouldn’t mind being snuggled up with his firm pecs, but it was clearly a way for him to avoid her gaze. She allowed it for now.
Exhaling, he said, “Yeah. Told you he wasn’t a good guy.”
“You didn’t tell me he was the ‘shows up drunk to parties and knocks over cupcakes’ kind of bad guy.”
He shrugged, but she could practically feel his wince. “They told you that, huh?”
“Yup.”
“They tell you the part about him smacking me around?”
She drew back. “No.”
His grimace deepened. “Can we forget I just admitted it, then?”
“Seriously?”
“He was a jerk,” he said, as if that were some kind of explanation.
“But he hit you?” More rumors and hushed conversations floated into her memory. She hadn’t understood them then. But Devin telling her this…It slotted an awful lot of things into place.
Devin rubbed his hands up and down her arms, and she didn’t need him to comfort her. Not when he was telling her about his pain. “It’s okay. I’m fine now.”
“How?”
His throat bobbed. “I got out.”
“How?” An intense need to understand this man clawed at her. She shouldn’t pry, but she wanted to know everything. “I mean—if you don’t want to talk about it—”
“Your family, for one.” His gaze connected with hers, a little light coming back to his eyes. “There’s a reason I was always at your place or hanging out in Arthur’s basement.”
“Right.”
“And then, as soon as I was out of high school, I packed my bag. Started working. Got an apartment. The rest is history.”
Was it, though? The pain of it still seemed to live inside him.
She put her hands over Devin’s chest, trying to take in the breadth of him. This strong, incredible man, who’d dealt with so much and who still stayed open and kind.
It occurred to her again, just like that night he’d walked her home after they’d hung out at the bar. Did he ever talk about what had happened to him? How did the pressure of keeping it all inside not make him explode?
Gazing up at him, she took a deep breath. “What happened to him?”
“I have no idea,” he said quietly, ghosts in his eyes. “I assume he rotted in that house for a while. I never went back. He never came looking for me except a couple of times when he was trashed.” He shrugged. “When he did, I just called Officer Dwight to take him home. Otherwise, I had nothing to do with him. Year or so after I left, I got a drunk dial from him. Said he was set up in a trailer park in Florida.”
“You think he’ll stay there?”
“Honestly, I don’t care.”
He meant it, too. The pain in his voice was like a hand reaching into her chest and squeezing.
Zoe’s family was her bedrock. She defied them and fought with them, but deep down she loved them fiercely. She never in a million years could doubt they loved her, too.
Devin…he didn’t have that.
Slowly, she skated her hands up his chest. She took his face between her palms. His scruff was rough against her skin. She stroked her thumbs just beneath his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she told him quietly.
“It’s nothing. Old history.”
She repeated it. More firmly this time. “I’m sorry.” She reached up onto her tiptoes, pulling him down to meet her. She kissed his lips. “I’m sorry.”
“Zo…”
“I’m sorry.” She kissed him again, soft and slow.
He melted into it, wrapping his arms around her. Holding on to him, she tried to pour everything she was feeling into the motion of their lips. He didn’t want her to comfort him or to let her tell him how her heart ached for him, and that was fine. She’d make him understand like this.
Because any of her ideas about not getting invested? Not growing feelings for this man?
They were out the window. She’d tossed her sense of self-preservation right along with them.
All she could do was hang on.
And wait for the crash when they all hit the ground.
Chapter Eleven
A couple of weeks later, Zoe sat on the kitchen counter, texting with June about grabbing coffee, Clay about whether or not she could open the bar tomorrow, Lian about how she wanted to bang her head against the wall over her job search, and a group of high school friends about a time to meet up for drinks later that week—all without accidentally sending any messages to the wrong person. She snickered to herself as she sent a reaction gif to Lian. Take that, accounting firm looking for “attention to detail.”
No sooner had the thought occurred to her than her screen went blank, a call from an unknown number appearing over her fifteen messaging threads.
Her first impulse was to ignore it—she’d talked to quite enough people excited to offer her a free time-share or help her with a problem at the social security agency. But one of the worst things about being on a job hunt was having to answer every call.
Bracing for the worst, she tucked her hair out of the way and brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
A male voice replied, “Good morning. Is this Zoe Leung?”
She sat up straighter. “It is.”
“Hi, I’m Brad Sullivan from Pinnacle Accounting, following up on a résumé we received.”
“Oh, hi!” She scrambled down off the counter and over to her makeshift office set up on the end of the dining room table. Pinnacle, Pinnacle—oh, right. It was a firm in Atlanta she’d applied to last week.
“I was hoping to talk to you about your interest in the position. Do you have a few minutes?”
She blinked about fifty-seven times. “Of course.”
“Great.” With that, he launched into a quick overview of the job she’d applied for as well as a series of questions about her experience and training, which she somehow or other managed to string together coherent answers to.
Slipping back into the accounting persona she’d honed during her coursework and internship was harder than it used to be. Once upon a time, it had felt like a second skin. Now it felt like a wet suit that was three sizes too small.
“All right,” Brad said, “sounds to me like you’re an excellent candidate. Let me just talk to a few people and we’ll get you set up for an interview with the rest of the team.”
It was a good thing the chair she was sitting on had a back, because otherwise she might have tipped right out of it. “Oh wow, okay, great.”
“Just one last question—this job does require you to be on-site in our Buckhead office. Looks like you’re in North Carolina right now, but I’m assuming you’re prepared to relocate?”
“Yes,” she said, but as she did, a stone lodged in her throat.
“Perfect.” He rattled off a few more details, and they said their goodbyes.
The whole while, the tightness in her windpipe grew and grew.
Atlanta was a four-hour drive from here. A few months ago, she might not have cared. She’d lived away from home when she’d gone to college. She’d always assumed she’d have to leave again to get a decent job that was in her field.
But her time back here in Blue Cedar Falls had changed her perspective.
She liked being home. She liked seeing Han all the time and being able to meet up with Lian now and then. She liked Clay and June and working at the bar. She loved getting to spend time with Arthur and helping out at Harvest Home.
She loved…
She clenched her phone so tightly she worried the screen would break.
She and Devin had told each other that their time together was limited. He wasn’t interested in anything serious; all he wanted in this world was a house of his own outside of town, and he never imagined sharing it with anyone, least of all her. He definitely wasn’t interested in upsetting the balance of his relationship with her family.
Ever since Han’s dinner party, when he’d opened up to her about his dad, she’d known that eventually he’d break her heart.
