No One Else: The Ladies Who Brunch Book 2, page 32
If you’re lucky in life, really lucky, you get blessed with friends like these girls. I heard a metaphor once that sums up our friendship perfectly, and it comes rushing back to me at this moment.
Be the type of friend that’s like the roots on a tree.
Don’t be a leaf that blows away when a strong breeze passes through, the type of friend that is only there when it’s suitable for you and then leaves when the seasons change.
Don’t be the branch that snaps when you least expect it, catching the person off guard when, all of a sudden, you’re no longer there.
Be the roots. Be the reason that tree survives, the reason why that tree stands and can live and thrive and have the strength to withstand every season and storm in its life.
My girls are my roots, and I know that I would not have survived the past month without them.
Penelope winks at me when I open my eyes long enough to see her open the door and motion for Ethan to come in.
And when he appears in the doorway, the crack in my heart bursts wide open.
His demeanor is almost manic—hair sticking up in every direction, bloodshot eyes, shirt sleeves rolled up, his shirt untucked, and every line in his face etched with worry.
“Fucking hell.” He sets down a plastic bag on a chair and rushes toward the bed, leaning over me and pressing his lips to my forehead, and I can feel his body shaking as he reaches out to touch me. “Jesus Christ, Amelia. Are you okay?” His hands tremble as he cups the side of my face.
“I’m a little broken, but it’s nothing that can’t heal.”
“I’m broken too, baby. Fuck, you have no idea how shattered I feel right now.”
“We’re going to leave you guys alone,” my mother whispers as she’s the last one out of the room.
“I’m tired, Ethan. They gave me drugs.” My eyes fall closed again, and then the drugs begin to pull me back under. I vaguely hear the screech of a chair as Ethan pulls one close to the bed and takes a seat, reaching for my hands and holding them in his own close to his lips.
“Sleep, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you,” I whisper as everything goes black. And even though I know we’re not in a place to say that again, it’s the truth. I can’t deny it, and having him here only reminds me of how strongly I feel for him and how fragile life is.
My friends and family were right. I do want him in my life, and it’s time to stop fighting it. If I were a client, I would ask myself point blank what I wanted, and my answer would be him and Oliver, irrevocably. So it’s time to start fighting for what I want. It’s not going to be easy, but I know in my gut that it will be worth it.
“I love you too, Amelia. So fucking much,” he chokes out on a sob, and the shaking of his body as he lays his head on my hands and cries is the last thing I remember before I fall asleep again.
When I open my eyes after an unknown length of time, the entire hospital room is dark except for the lamp on the table next to my bed illuminating the space.
I blink a few times and then turn my head to see Ethan still holding my hands with one of his, staring up at me as if he were waiting for me to wake up, his chin resting in his other palm.
“Hi.”
“Hey, beautiful.” He presses a kiss to my hands and then sits up taller in his chair. “Do you want some water?”
“Sure.”
He reaches for the cup and brings the straw to my mouth. I take down a few large gulps, welcoming the liquid as it edges off the scratchiness of my throat. “How long was I asleep?”
Reaching into his pocket, he checks his phone. “About an hour and a half.”
“And where is everybody?”
“They went to eat dinner. The girls said they might stop by to say goodnight, but if not, they would for sure be back in the morning. But your mother and Nick insisted they’d return tonight with your dad.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“How are you feeling?”
As soon as he asks, my eyes cloud with tears. “I’m feeling a lot right now, so I can’t give you a clear-cut answer to that question.”
“Fuck. I understand that completely.” He kisses my hand again. “Amelia, baby, I love you so much, and there’s so much I need to say to you.”
“I love you too, Ethan. But…”
He presses a finger to my lips. “Let me talk, okay?”
I nod, and then he removes his finger. “Okay.”
He takes a deep breath and then sits up again. “Knowing you were hurt, that something could have happened to you, and I would never have had the chance to tell you what you mean to me, made me realize even more that I don’t want to live a life without you in it. I’m not saying I won’t mess this up. I’m not saying things between us will be perfect. But what I am saying is that I want a life with you. I want everything with you. I would be willing to put my heart on the line again as long as you’re the one I’m giving it to.”
“It took my accident for you to realize that?”
He shakes his head. “No. I actually realized it when you showed up to Oliver’s play after you promised you would. I was just too stubborn to admit it. You showed up for us because you love us, and that’s something no one has ever done for my son and me before besides my mom.”
I swallow roughly. “And what about marriage?”
“After watching mine disintegrate, I lost faith in the idea. I swore I’d never go down that path again. But mostly over the past few weeks, I realized that Monica and I shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.” He blows out a breath. “We were young, I was fresh out of college, and we had only been dating about six months before she wound up pregnant. I wanted to do right by her, to have our family together, unlike how I grew up without my father, so I married her without a thought about the commitment we were entering into. I thought I was doing the right thing, but ultimately, we both were naive about what marriage entailed, and she was the one who made the decision to leave. And part of me is glad that she did.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Even though Oliver doesn’t have his mom in his life, I would go through all the shit with my ex ten times over as long as it meant I get to have you on the other side of it—as long as he gets to have you too—because you have been more of a mother to him than his biological one, and that’s what he deserves. And one day, you’ll be the wife I know I deserve too. And I want to be the husband you deserve in your life, Amelia. I want to build a family with you. The entire path I’ve been on was the one that I had to travel on to get to you.”
“So why are you telling me this now?” I ask as my heart pounds, his words blowing up that balloon of hope in my chest with each passing second.
“Because I’m scared, but I’m ready to work past it.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out one of the pamphlets I left in his office back when we were fighting. But it’s not just any pamphlet; it’s the one I signed for 20 percent off a therapy session with me. “I’d like to schedule an appointment with you. I think I need to process my divorce so I can move on.”
His gesture has me smiling and tears moving down my cheeks. “You’re willing to attend therapy?”
“I am. I’m tired of living in the past. I want a future, and I want it with you. But I’m scared, Amelia.”
“What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared of getting things wrong with you, that you and I’ll end up like my first marriage did. If we ever divorced, it would destroy me.”
“I’m scared too,” I reply honestly. But this time, I offer him some of my wisdom as I see his walls start to crumble. “You see, that’s what you’re overlooking though. The fact that we’re both scared of getting things wrong is what will ensure we get things right, Ethan. That means we’re both invested in fighting for each other every day, through the highs and the lows. That means taking our vows seriously. But I want to be clear about something…”
“What?”
I reach out and cup his jaw. “I never said we had to get married right now. I just wanted to know that it was a possibility, that somewhere down the line, I would get to be Mrs. Ethan Fuller.”
His smile is instant. “Damn, I sure like the sound of that.”
“Me too.”
But then he releases my hand and reaches for the plastic bag on the chair behind him as a wave of relief rolls through me.
This man. He’s breaking down his walls and striving to be a better person for his son, me, and himself. What more could I ask for? And why on earth have I been fighting our connection this entire time instead of reassuring him of it?
Because most men need to come to realizations on their own before they can accept something—and it seems to me that Ethan is coming to terms with what he really wants.
“I bought you something.” He takes three garden gnomes out of the bag and places them on the bed in front of us—a man that looks like him, a woman that looks like me, and a little boy that looks just like Oliver.
“Why do you have those?”
“I bought you new ones. I kind of broke the other ones.”
“You broke my gnomes?”
He winces. “I kind of threw them against the concrete after Nick told me I couldn’t come see you…”
“So you broke my gnomes?” I ask in clarification with a smirk on my lips.
“Look, I’m not proud of it, okay? But fuck, I bought you new ones. Call it a peace offering, a way for us to start over again, but this time all three of us will be together.”
“What are you saying, Ethan?”
“Sunshine and Grumpy belong together,” he says, gesturing to the gnomes. “I realized you’re my second chance, and all I want is the chance to love you forever. I can’t control what happens later down the road, but I can do everything in my power to show you what you mean to me—and to Oliver.”
Tears stream down my face.
“I promise to choose you, show you every day how much you have changed my life, how you made my world feel hopeful again instead of a place where I swore never to love again, even though I didn’t stand a chance the moment I saw you. And the way you love my son?” He shakes his head as a tear of his own falls. “There’s nothing more I could have asked for in the woman that I want to let in, the one I want to take the risk with. I want to build a life with you, a marriage with you that others want, and I want to have more babies with you. You’re the only person I can see myself doing that with. No one else. So, what do you say? Will you let me love you? Will you be a family with me and Oliver?”
I can barely make out Ethan’s face because my eyes are so clouded with moisture. And before I can reply, the door to my room opens.
Noelle pokes her head in through the crack. “If you don’t say yes to that, we can no longer be friends. That speech is romance novel gold, my friend, and you’re hearing it from a real-life man! Kiss him already!”
Ethan and I both break out in laughter as she shuts the door, and he turns back to me. “What do you say, baby? Are you willing to take the risk? To take a chance on me?”
I pull on his arm so he stands and hovers over me since I can’t really move toward him. “You were always worth the risk, Ethan. You and Oliver. I was just waiting for you to realize it.”
He stares down at me, framing my face with his hands. “I love you, Amelia. So fucking much.”
“I love you too. So, yes. Let’s do it.”
Ethan’s entire body relaxes as he leans forward and kisses me. And as our lips touch, so much pain I’ve been carrying around melts away. There’s still an ache in my arm and in my ribs, and the sting of the scratches on my face. But that ache in my heart? It’s instantly gone, and now I know my future is standing right before me—and there’s no other man I’d want to share it with.
Ethan is my person, and finding him feels like finding a treasure, the kind that garden gnomes protect from thieves.
But the only thieves left are the two boys who stole my heart, and now I’ll never let them go.
Chapter 20
Amelia
Two-and-a-half months later
“Do you need any more help, babe?” Ethan comes up behind me as I finish squeezing sour cream across potato skins to make them look like footballs, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my hair.
“No, I think I’ve got it.”
He breathes in deeply before mumbling in my ear. “God, I love how you always smell like lemons. And you look so hot in this little apron, especially since my team’s logo is splayed across your tits.”
“Well, maybe later I’ll wear nothing but this after the game, and we can check that fantasy off your list.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Dear God, please don’t say that shit with other people in your house,” my brother Nick whines as he walks into the kitchen to get another beer.
“I do believe it was your meddling and suggestion that helped us get to this blissful state, big brother, so you have no one to blame but yourself,” I toss over my shoulder at him.
“You’re right. But I still don’t like hearing about it.”
“Then go back into the living room.”
He holds up his beer as he closes the refrigerator door. “On my way.”
It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and even though the Dallas Cowboys aren’t in the running, Ethan and I decided to have everyone over for a party at my house, which will soon be our house. Ethan is in the process of selling the home he purchased for him and Oliver with the assistance of my brother, and we’ve been slowly moving things over in the meantime. A lot has changed since Ethan came to the hospital after my accident but in all the best ways.
When Ethan brought up the idea of us living together, I was against it at first. I didn’t want him to suggest something so pivotal in our relationship so soon just to prove to me that he’d changed his mind about our future.
“That’s not what this is about, Amelia. Sure, I want you to accept that I meant what I said about building a life with you. But ultimately, my reasons for us living together are about moving forward and knowing that you’re safe and we’re together as much as we can be. Almost losing you was one of the scariest fucking things I’ve ever experienced, so I want each and every day of our future to start with you next to me when the sun rises and right beside me as we drift off to sleep.”
With a declaration like that, it was hard to argue with him, and we talked about multiple details pertaining to the move before beginning the process. And much to Oliver’s delight, it only made sense to live at my house because I had the pool.
Other than that, the past two-and-a-half months have been both blissful and challenging. My scarred man has made leaps and bounds where our relationship is concerned. Ethan has been seeing a therapist I recommended to him once a week since, obviously, we have a personal relationship, which would be a conflict of interest if he actually cashed in on the coupon I gave him. But I’m just proud of him for wanting to move forward in this way.
He’s been processing the fear and doubt his marriage evoked in him and also working on how to combat that fear with me as it arises. We’ve had our fair share of arguments and challenges as his overbearing behavior after my accident got to be too much. He still has trouble communicating his frustrations and feelings when we disagree. But no human is perfect, so why is it that we demand that of our loved ones sometimes?
No matter what we battle, though, I know that fighting through it with him is worth it.
And that’s the truth. I am hopelessly in love with this man. Not because he’s perfect, not because he’s without fault and stubborn and impatient at times. No. I love him because he loves with his whole heart, he’s fiercely protective of his son and me, and he is willing to better himself to be the man I deserve.
We should never expect someone to change for us, but if someone is willing to change for themselves and it allows us room in their lives, that’s a rare action that should be valued.
And Ethan has shown me that growth in him more than I could have ever imagined.
For me, though, nothing makes me happier than the idea of being in the same home as my boys—two men that have completely changed my life. And with each passing day, I’m stepping deeper into the role of a motherly figure for Oliver, something that has come with its own challenges as well, especially as I was healing from the accident. But it’s also come with so much love I feel like my heart is gonna burst multiple times throughout the day.
“Let me finish these for you. Your hand has to be killing you. And I need you to save your strength for later.” Ethan takes the bag of sour cream from my hand while bouncing his eyebrows, pulling me back to the present, and squeezing the remaining white substance on the last two potato skins as I move out of his way.
My cast is finally off my left arm, which hasn’t inhibited me too much since I’m right-handed. But not having another hand to use for months definitely made some tasks harder than others. However, two-and-a-half months later, I’m finally starting to feel normal again, but physical therapy is on the horizon to get my entire strength back so I can eventually do the things I did before, like pole dancing. God, I’ve missed those classes.
Noelle comes over at that moment and grabs a carrot from the veggie tray, dips it in ranch, and pops it in her mouth. “Might want to lower your voice with the dirty talk, Ethan.”
Ethan stands up straight and looks her dead in the eye. “I have no shame in anyone knowing how much I love and want this woman. And if you guys can’t handle it, then don’t listen.”
And then Noelle shakes her head at him. “At least someone is getting laid.” She crunches down on the orange stick. “And why is it that two of my best friends can find men that teeter that line of asshole and softy, but I couldn’t?”
“I thought you swore off men?” Ethan counters as he takes one of the potato skins off the plate and inhales half of it.
