Last Boy: Special Edition (The Puck Boys of Brooks University), page 1
Copyright © 2024 by Hannah Gray
All rights reserved.
Visit my website at www.authorhannahgray.com
Cover Designer: Amy Queau, Q Design
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Alternative Cover Designer: Sarah Grim Sentz
Editor and Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
contents
playlist
prologue
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
Tell Me Lies Sneak Peek
Other Books by Hannah Gray
acknowledgments
about the author
playlist
“I Had Some Help” by Post Malone, featuring Morgan Wallen
“Where the Wild Things Are” by Luke Combs
“Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone
“A Symptom of Being Human” by Shinedown
“Simple Man (Rock Version)” by Shinedown
“What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish
“The Freshman” by Verve Pipe
“Jaded” by Miley Cyrus
“No Matter What” By Papa Roach
“Nightmare” by Halsey
“Eastside” by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid
“Just Pretend” by Bad Omens
“WYD Now?” by Sadie Jean
“hate myself” by Tate McRae
“Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur
“Over” by Jimmy Eat World
prologue
Poppy
With my knees pulled to my chest, I sit on the worn steps to my house. I watch Walker walk out onto his front lawn with the ratty duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He moves like a zombie, never looking my way. Not even once. Unlike his older sister, Briar, who gives me a sad look and a pathetic, tiny wave.
Despite how Walker might feel right now, I’m not naive enough to believe that what is happening to them is completely my fault. It’s not. But can I blame him for being upset with me right now? No, I suppose I can’t. After all, my father sold his parents the drugs that ended their lives, leaving their children orphans. So, now, he and Briar have to move away and live with their estranged uncle.
But that wasn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back and made him not want to look at me. That is my fault. Because when it came time for me to tell the police that it was my father who had sold them the lethal drugs, I lied and said I knew nothing. I had to. It was the only way to keep my brother Jake safe.
Jake is my hero. And even as unfair as this is, as a kid with Down syndrome, he’s already dealt with enough shit from society treating him differently.
If I had told the truth, my father would have gone to jail, forcing me and my brothers into foster care. If we’re separated, that means I won’t be around for Jake to be his advocate and help him the way he always helps me.
In Walker’s mind, I betrayed him out of loyalty to my father. That can’t be further from the truth. As far as I’m concerned, Ron Wilson could keel over and die tomorrow, and I’d be fine. But Jake deserves more. And us being split apart isn’t going to get him that.
But protecting my oldest brother means losing Walker and Briar as friends. It doesn’t matter that Van—my twin brother—Jake, and I consider Walker and Briar to be our best friends, practically family since we were young kids. We were all out roaming the neighborhood while other kids our age weren’t allowed outside without supervision.
It didn’t even matter that we had all vowed to always have each other’s back. When something as catastrophic as this happens … all that shit goes out the window because there’s always someone to blame. And as far as Walker is concerned, that someone is me. I think he thought, between Van and me, I’d never go against him. I never planned to either.
He and his sister are being ripped away from all they’ve ever known, and now that they are going to live with their rich uncle, they will no longer be referred to as kids from the wrong side of the tracks. Will my brothers and I go on to carry that title? Of course we will. We’ll never get out of this hellhole. But the five of us—the poor kids of Sunset Drive—are no longer each other’s family.
And despite having my brothers still, I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life.
Briar is a year older than Walker. And she’s the sweetest human being I have ever met. She thinks everything has a silver lining. Her whole life, she’s brightened up this shithole street with just her smile and enchanting personality. She began taking homemade cards from door to door when she was eight, and then her cards became baked goods. But she’s also fiercely protective of her loved ones. And she’s got to be one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. Not just book smart, but street smart too.
Me? Well, I’ve been in love with Walker James since the first time he snuck in through my window at age ten because he couldn’t sleep. He was too worried that some of the rough characters my father had at our house would hurt me. That was five years ago now, but it seems like ages ago because we’ve been through so much since that night.
His parents were drug addicts, but they would never let anyone hurt their children—unlike our dad, who only cares about himself and his drugs.
Though I can’t see who’s inside the car because of the deeply tinted windows, I watch as Walker opens the door to the SUV, and for a moment, he stands still, staring straight ahead, like he’s rooted in place. I hold my breath.
Maybe, just maybe … he’ll look my way. Just one last time, telling me that he still cares despite what he said last night when he told me I was dead to him.
Any hope I have is taken away from me when he climbs into the seat and slams the door shut behind him. My heart hurts more. I never thought that was possible.
When the car starts to drive away, I consider leaping up and chasing it. It isn’t who I am as a person. I’ve never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve; instead, I keep it hidden from the world. When you keep your heart locked away, it’s safe from injury. At least, that’s what I’ve always thought.
Today … I’m learning that my heart can be hurt either way.
My foot bounces as the car pulls away from the curb and inches farther down Sunset Drive. Soon, he’ll be gone forever. He will move on with his life with his rich uncle—whoever this mystery uncle is. He’ll forget about me. So will Briar.
My feet push my body from the ground, and before my brain can tell me to stop, I’m running on the sidewalk behind the car. When I finally get next to the car, I reach out and slap the dark window, and the car stops abruptly.
Walker swings his door open, his eyes angry as he leaps from the backseat.
“What the hell are you doing, Poppy? Are you trying to get run over?” He stops a mere inch in front of my feet, glaring. “Huh?”
There are so many things I want to say to him. Briar too. After all, she’s one of my best friends. But Walker? I’m in love with him. Desperately, wholly, unendingly … in love. And as cheesy as it sounds … he’s my soulmate. I’ve known that since the second we locked eyes.
Because when you can look at someone and exchange words without ever opening your mouth … you know that your souls are intertwined.
“I’m sorry,” I cry out. “I’m so sorry, Walker.”
“I will never forgive you for what you did.” His voice is low, and his blue eyes darken. He looks at me in a way he never has before. “You could have given my parents justice by telling the truth about your old man. Instead, you chose to stand with your own blood even though he’s a murderer.” He inhales, his nostrils flaring. “Go to hell, Poppy. You’re dead to me.”
He begins to turn away, but I grab his hand.
“Don’t go! Please,” I sob. “You don’t understand! I had no—”
Spinning toward me, he grabs my wrist and squeezes. “You what? Had no choice?” he hisses. “I don’t want to fucking hear it. Go. Go back to your fucking trailer. Amount to nothing, just like the man you stuck up for. You are not the girl I thought you were. And now, you’re no one to me. You will always be no one.”
When he releases his hold with force, I stumble backward a few steps. And then he finishes me off with the worst words ever.
“I’ve protected you for most of my life. And now, I’m leaving. I’m leaving, and you’re on your own.” His eyes cut through me, chilling me to the bone because
He turns away from me, climbing into the backseat of the car and slamming the door shut. My entire world spins as a sharp pain shoots through my chest, taking the breath out of me and making me squeak as I try to pull in a breath desperately.
I don’t have to watch the car drive away as it takes Walker and Briar from me forever.
Instead, I crumple into a pile on the sidewalk, asking myself … Am I going to die right here?
1
Walker
Three Years Later
Ipull my helmet from my head and trudge into the locker room. Preparing myself to listen to my teammates critique me on how I’m not their old center.
“That was sloppy today, James,” Link Sterns calls out, not surprising me in the least. “Hardy would be fucking pissed to see that shit on his ice.”
Setting my helmet down, I sit on the bench, unlacing my skates. I shouldn’t say a goddamn thing. I’m the new guy—the freshman who walked in here and was chosen to be the starting center.
I shouldn’t, but I can’t fucking help myself.
“Well, good thing it’s not his ice anymore,” I mutter quietly.
I respect our captain, Link, so much. But the dude is intense. Plain and simple. And he also needs to get over the fact that Cam Hardy is gone. In the pros. In Boston. Not Brooks. See ya later.
“What was that?” Link snaps.
“Nothing,” I grumble. “Absolutely nothing.”
I look up to meet Sterns’s harsh glare, assaulting me. He huffs in and out, clearly mad.
“Sorry.” I shrug. “But I wasn’t the only one looking sloppy out there today, and you know it.”
“Nah, your dormmates looked sloppy as fuck too. But guess what. You’re the only one who’s supposed to start this season who can’t keep up.”
Elias and Nixon look at each other and frown.
“How the hell did we get brought into this?” Elias pouts, shaking his head.
My dormmates are both freshmen and very good players, but are second string. Elias is a defenseman, and Nixon is a goalie.
“Your boy brought you into it,” Link says, giving me an amused look.
Elias is guaranteed to get more playing time than Nixon will this season because the Wolves already have a goalie, Watson Gentry. And unless he gets injured this season, Nixon’s chance of being pushed to goalie one isn’t likely. Nixon is good, but he has a lot to learn. Gentry is an absolute beast in front of the net.
Cade Huff sits next to me on the bench and starts unlacing his skates. “Don’t be worried about Sterns. He and Hardy have some sort of special relationship. Now that he is gone, Linky here is a Grumpy Gus.” He grins before nodding his chin up toward Sterns. “It’s okay, Linky Winky. I’m here for you through this troubling time, not having Cam Hardy to jerk off to.”
“Fuck off.” Link shakes his head. “Babying him isn’t going to do this team any good. Kid needs to be ready for the opening game. If he’s not, how’s an L to start the season going to feel?”
“Don’t be a Negative Nancy. He’ll be ready,” Cade chimes. “Won’t you, James?”
“Oh, I’ll be ready.” I nod, keeping my eyes fixed on Sterns. “I’m always ready.”
“Guess we’ll see,” Link says before shutting his locker and heading toward the showers.
Pulling my gear off, I head toward the shower farthest away from him and turn it on. I climb in once it gets hot enough to burn my skin off.
Cam. Hardy.
A name I’ve heard over. And over. And over. And motherfucking over again since I arrived at Brooks this summer to start training. One would think now that I earned a full scholarship to Brooks University—a D1 college in Georgia—and was chosen to be the Wolves starting center, my teammates would stop talking about their old center.
Fuck no, they haven’t. In fact, I get the luxury of living in his shadow constantly. And I get it. I really do. He is a great player. A weapon on the ice and a huge asset to any team he’s on. He left behind big shoes to fill. But the thing is, I don’t want to be the next Cam Hardy. I’m Walker James. And just like Hardy, I’m going to the NHL too.
I’ve played hockey since I was six years old. Back then, it was an escape from my shitty reality. And the older I got, the more I was noticed. When I was fifteen, my parents died of a drug overdose, and I was dragged out of my shithole neighborhood to live with my loaded uncle, who was a bit of a celebrity star. Some would say it was probably the best thing to happen to me.
And those people … haven’t met my uncle.
The only reason why his greedy ass brought me to live with him was so that he could get even more famous. One day hoping that I’d make it to the pros and acknowledge that he saved me. That shit couldn’t be further from the truth because when I make it pro, I’m going to hide it from him until it becomes public knowledge.
Despite the fancy hockey clinics he got me into when I was a teenager, I’ve made it this far because of me. Because of the hunger to be more than the shitty place I came from. Not because of him or his money and connections.
Being here, at Brooks U, I feel like I’ve escaped him in a way—much more than my sister has. Last I talked to Briar, she was traveling to different countries with my uncle Beckett and his wife, Natasha. They’ve brainwashed her into thinking that’s the lifestyle she should want. And now, the sister I grew up with is someone completely different.
But when I got away from him by coming to Brooks, I sort of just came back to my past. This place was far from my first choice. It’s a great program with one of the nation’s best college hockey coaches. But it’s also close to my childhood home. The street I grew up on and where my parents died are just a few miles away.
It was easier to block out the memories when I was hours away. But having it a hop, skip, and jump away, passing by the same stores I did before I left … well, it’s fucking with me.
But what’s making it worse is wondering if she still lives on that street. Or worse, if she attends school here. At Brooks.
Poppy Wilson has haunted my dreams since the moment I left her crying on that sidewalk. That was over three years ago.
Now that I’m at Brooks though, I can almost feel her presence.
And that only makes me resent her more.
Poppy
“I love it.” I grin, looking around my brother Jake’s new apartment from a counter stool. “This place is amazing, J. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you.” He can’t stop the smile from spreading over his face.
It’s obvious how happy and excited he is right now. And my heart warms.
“I like it too.”
When good things happen to the best people, that’s what makes my day. And my brother is one of the kindest, most deserving souls I know.
Everyone seems to have a different opinion about what someone with Down syndrome can or can’t do. What their goals should be and what will never happen. My brother’s mission has always been to prove to the world, as well as himself, that he could do anything he set his mind to. And after holding a steady job and getting his own place after always dreaming of it, it’s safe to say he’s doing just that.
“Maybe Van will come to see my new home,” he says thoughtfully.
I don’t have the heart to tell him Van won’t be over because I instructed him not to. If Van showed up here, he’d ask Jake for money. And Jake is too nice and would give it to him. And the money would simply be for Van to get high. Again.
“Maybe. You never know.” I shrug. “Even if he doesn’t, you should be so happy. This is huge for you! You’ve talked about this for years!” I jump up from my stool. “I gotta run. Dance starts in a bit, and I still have to take the bus home to get my stuff.” Throwing my arms around him, I give him a squeeze. “Proud of you, dude!”
As I release him and head toward the door, he calls from behind me, “Nice to see you. Next time … bring Ryann.”
I turn to find my brother wiggling his brows at me.
Shaking my head, I pull the door open. “Not going to happen, man. She’s too wild for my brother!” I blow him a cheesy kiss. “Love ya! Don’t throw any parties at your sweet new pad!”
