Roar, page 30
“Assuming she still is working for someone. Being caught and sent to the dungeon must have changed things.” Camille couldn't imagine that Mara was working for anyone. Because even if she had caused the explosion that had hurt her mother, surely once things had gone awry she would have run. Being caught would not have been part of her plan. And anything that she had done since then must be unrelated. But then why would she have lied to her about the explosion and Thorm?
“Maybe it did. Maybe it didn’t. We don't know who hired her or for what purpose. Or if she was hired at all. We're just guessing at this point. But the very fact that she sought you out here suggests she's still working. That’s why I want to write down everything you know about her. Everything she spoke about with you. From the day you met.” She stood up, patted down her clothes and handed Camille paper and pen.
“Even if she had some plan in seeing me, it doesn’t change what I did. I acted of my own volition.” The words came out of her mouth like a verdict. Even when Camille didn't want to admit it.
For a brief moment Camille had dared to hope that Mara’s actions would somehow absolve her of what she herself had done. But they didn’t. She might not have intended to kill Thorm but that was still what she had done. She was responsible. Even worse, it was increasingly looking like Thorm had been an innocent victim after all. Her mother might have tried to kill Thorm and her aunt may have beaten him to a pulp, but she had finished the job.
“Maybe. But there are substances. Herbs. Spells. Esoteric poisons. Things which make people susceptible to others. Tell me, did she ever have a chance to add anything to your food? Perhaps she accidentally passed her hand over it?”
Camille wanted to say yes. She desperately wanted to say it. It was hope. A rope thrown to someone drowning in a stormy sea. It was a chance to say she wasn't guilty. But she couldn't. Because she just didn't know. She had never paid that much attention to what Mara might have been doing as they ate their meals. There had been no reason to. Camille shrugged helplessly.
“Then maybe we'll know more when we catch her,” Matilde told her. “Or rather, if we catch her.”
“If?” Camille didn't want to ask, but she had to. This woman might be the only one who could prove her innocence. Or at least mitigate her guilt. And she might have hurt her mother. Mara had to be caught.
“She has a lead on us. She is clearly capable at covering her tracks. And we don’t even know in which direction she travelled. But we will do our best to catch her. We will have every guard and every ranger out there looking for her. Her description will be known in every town. She will not escape easily, I promise you that,” Matilde told her.
But to Camille it sounded like her aunt was just telling her what she wanted to hear. It was quite likely she would still end up spending the rest of her life in this cell whether they caught Mara or not. But then, if she had killed an innocent man, it would only be what she deserved.
Chapter Thirty Two
It was warm on the rock. With the sun shining down and the heat of the fire all around, he was comfortable. And the two legs had stopped bothering him for the most part. After a few good roars they usually went away and didn't come back. It seemed they had learned to keep their distance. It allowed him to stretch out on the flat rock and nap in peace. Most of the time anyway.
But sometimes the two legs returned when the sun rose. They brought the thunder back with them. And the things that bit at him. He didn't like that. But he would roar and they would fly away. Sometimes they brought lightning and other strange storms. They were a little harder to get rid of but he'd found that if he roared even more loudly they too went away. That pleased him as it allowed him to settle back into his nap.
It was annoying then when an hour or so later another two legs appeared. This one was bolder and came to stand on the same rock he was on. Annoyed he roared at the two legs. But she didn't go away.
“Thorm.”
He heard the strange sound she made. And somewhere inside he recognised it. But it wasn’t overly loud like thunder and no stings followed the sound. He decided to ignore the two legs.
“Thorm!”
The two legs made the sound again, this time much louder than before, and he wondered why. Surely the two legs should have left by now? He let out a low growl, warning her that he was not to be disturbed. He'd eaten recently. He wanted to nap.
“Praise Artana, what's happened to you?”
The two legs came closer, floating across the top of the rock and making more of the strange sounds as she did so. He didn't like that. She should have left when he'd growled at her. But instead she kept coming? He was suddenly disturbed by her approach and gave another warning growl. Again it didn’t seem to have any effect. So when she came too close he swatted at her with his paw, intending to knock her away. But his paw passed right through her! How could that be?
“Boy, you can't hurt me! This is a dream!”
He tried again, starting to worry that she was dangerous, this time getting up to strike at her. But again his paw went straight through the two legs without hurting her. That made him angry and he ran at her and leapt, Intending to rip out the two leg’s neck with his teeth. But he caught nothing. At that point he stopped, unsure of how to get rid of a two legs that he could not touch.
“You don't understand, do you?”
Hearing the sounds made by the two legs the anger suddenly grabbed him again and he tried to tear her throat out once more. Then he grew even more angry when he kept missing. How could he miss when the two legs was right in front of him?! But he did. And what was worse, the two legs wouldn’t go away and continued to make those strange sounds. At least though this two legs wasn’t trying to attack him.
“What are you? What have you become? You're responsible for levelling a dozen city blocks! You've emptied out half of the Eternal City with your magic and sent the soldiers running in all directions! You’ve terrified an entire realm! And you don't even know what you've done – do you?” The two legs stopped making sounds at that point. And then she began again, although this time the sounds were much quieter.
“But you don't know what you're doing, do you? You've grown much larger. You're breathing fire. Blowing magic all around. Force and wind powerful enough to knock buildings over. And now it appears you've got wings as well. How is any of that possible?”
He gave up with the attempts at swatting and biting. They didn’t seem to be working. She just remained where she was, unharmed. And she wouldn't leave! So he decided to roar once again and see if that worked. So he got up from where he was lying and roared with all his strength into the two leg’s face. But that didn't seem to help either. The two legs remained where she was, not moving at all.
“I felt that! And yet you’re not using any spells or gestures. You're just throwing out raw magic. Even more brutally raw than that of a fell witch! You're not in control at all, are you? But then again, I doubt you are in control of anything.”
“You're no longer a man in a lion's body. You're a lion with a man's magic. Or a sphinx?”
He roared at her again, wanting nothing more than for the two legs to go away. But she wouldn't go, and he was becoming tired. It took a lot of strength to roar like that.
“And you don't even know who I am. Or who you are. Do you, Thorm? Do you remember me at all?”
It took a moment for him to gather his strength again. To stop panting and find himself again. But when he did, he let it all out in another roar. He put everything he had into that roar. All his strength and rage. And he let that strength and rage tear loose with such power that the land shook in fear and the sky screamed.
And still it wasn't enough. The two legs wouldn't go away. She just stood there. Unbothered.
“It's about the pain isn't it?” She mused, her eyes slightly unfocused. “You’ve hidden within the lion to avoid your pain. Esmee hurt you both physically and mentally. Her magic nearly tore you apart. You were helpless and frightened. And so you retreated into the beast that must always have existed within. It was that beast that saved you from Esmee’s attack and luck I suppose that saved you from the fire that destroyed your shop.”
“But something stopped you from returning to your human form when it was over. I don’t think it was because you were unable to. I think it’s because you feared that if you did the pain would return. The pain of having to deal with Mara’s betrayal maybe. Also the fear of being caught and hung. But the beast doesn't feel pain. And it doesn't know fear. Or at least not in the same way. For you the beast provided a shield. It protected you against the emotional pain. Not fully I suppose but it greatly reduced it. And you haven’t yet been able to let it go.”
The two legs stopped making sounds again for a while after that. Instead her face creased and wrinkled in funny ways. He was just happy the noise had stopped. Something about the sounds she made bothered him. But it wasn’t for long and soon the noises started again.
“But then Camille attacked you. She loosed her magic and it hurt you. It tore you apart once more, and hurt you in places you didn't realise you could be hurt. And so once again you retreated to the beast. But this time you went further. Much further. Having already given up your form to the beast, this time you gave up your mind to it. While the beast grew ever stronger.”
“I guess it worked. Now you're unable to be hurt at all. But also –” the two legs paused and then seemed to release a long drawn out burst of air. “You're also you are unable to remember who you were. Because of course you don't want to remember. You’re safe like this! Nothing can ever hurt you again!”
The two legs stopped again for a time. He liked that. He liked quiet. But just as he grew hopeful that she would remain quiet the two legs started again.
“But even so, something of who you are remains. It must since even as a lion you haven't attacked anyone. All you’ve done so far is try to drive them away. Hundreds, maybe thousands have been hurt. Some may even die as an indirect result of your actions. But none have been killed by your own paws. And your magic is the same. Wind. As a man it's your most powerful magic. And as a beast as well. And magic is of the soul. Of course, you did attack me. But that was only after you had tried to drive me away and it didn’t work. Then you tried to swat me with a paw. It was only after you tried that and it became clear that you couldn't hurt me, that you then attempted to kill me.”
“So, Thorm, I wonder why it is that you want so desperately to get rid of me? I can think of only one reason: Fear. You fear that I'll bring you pain. The pain of once more becoming who you are. Memories.”
He couldn't get rid of her he realised as he lay there panting from his exertions. He didn't know why. But it was obvious that she wasn't going to go away. So he decided instead to find somewhere else. He got up and turned around – only to find her right in front of him. She hadn't moved and yet she was right there!
“You're right of course”, the two legs continued. “I am going to bring you pain. I can't help it. This is why my Mistress said I couldn't free you from this curse. Because it's not a curse. It's who you are. Who you were born to be. I can't free you from yourself. Only you can do that.”
“You Thorn, will have to face your fear and accept your pain. Life is pain. And whatever this is that you're living, isn't life.”
Why did the two legs keep making those noises, he wondered, as he lay there panting? Why couldn't she just be quiet and let him rest? He was tired. He only wanted to enjoy the sunshine and nap. Why wouldn't she just go away like the others?!
“We'll begin with your name. Your name is Thorm. Say it with me, Thorm. Thorm. Your name is Thorm.”
The two legs began repeating that sound over and over again. Why? Was she sick? Why wouldn't she just be quiet and go away? It was frustrating when he knew he could do nothing to make the two legs stop. But he decided that he could just ignore her.
But he soon found he couldn't even do that. There was just something about the sound the two legs was making that he recognised. He didn't understand why. But somewhere deep inside him he knew it. And he didn't like it.
Chapter Thirty Three
The sound of someone struggling woke Camille. She could hear a woman yelling in the distance – and men swearing at her. She could hear chains rattling. Heavy steel chains. There was the sound of something thumping too. And even before she saw anyone, she recognised the voice – and the swearing. It was Mara! They'd caught Mara!
Suddenly Camille was wide awake and filled with anger. She desperately hoped they would bring her into her cell. She really wanted to have a word with the woman. One that involved her fists!
A few minutes later the door to the outer chamber burst open and she watched as four burly men came in carrying a struggling woman. The two in front were holding on to a leg each and the two behind were holding the woman off the floor by her arms. It was definitely Mara by the sound of her voice, and she was struggling furiously. She was also screaming and cursing like a wild woman. Cursing them with a hundred different swear words, many of which Camille didn't even know. But she wasn't getting free.
The guards carried her across the room to a cell opposite Camille’s and unceremoniously tossed her inside it before slamming the door shut behind her. After that it was over.
“Bastards!” Mara yelled at them even before she had got back on her feet. “Filthy pigs! Whoresons!”
Looking at the guards Camille could see evidence of her resistance. Several of them were dabbing at bruises and cuts while trails of blood were running from their noses. Obviously Mara had fought hard. Harder than Camille would have imagined she could. She was a slender woman with no training in the fighting arts. Or at least, not that Camille knew of. And they were four big, strong men, all of whom were now nursing wounds.
But if their job was done, it was time for others to begin work. And even as the guards stepped aside they approached the cell. First came the Oracle and her aunt. But they weren't alone. A couple of wizards and a shaman were with them. And a few more to fill the central chamber. All of them looked unhappy. But then judging from what they were quietly muttering to one another, Camille gathered that they had followed the struggling prisoner all the way through the magical city. And they had been more than a little annoyed at simply having such a wild woman in their city. This was a respectable place!
“Quiet child!” Matilde stepped up to the cell and raised her arm as if she was about to cast. But whatever spell she had at the ready didn't seem to work. “Damn it!” She cursed. “I keep forgetting!”
Forgetting what, Camille wondered as she stood up against the bars of her cell and stared across the room at Mara? Because the only thing she could see was that this wasn't the Mara she knew. This was a wild woman in torn clothes with her hair messed up and a look of blind fury on her face.
“Forgetting that your pathetic magic won't work on me, old woman?” Mara spat at her. “I'm an alchemist, not some damned, pathetic little old hag! I am a Carlsford! The last of my family line!”
Carlsford? Who were the Carlsfords Camille wondered? She already knew that Mara wasn't a Dunmore. That had been a lie. But was this new name another lie?
“What you are, child, is a liar!” Potaine took over, her tone as always calm and measured. “You are also an enemy of our people.”
“You have caused nothing but harm to our plans. To everyone around you. I can only assume that you work for the Eternal King.”
“Don't you ever say that, you muck spouting old crone!” If Mara hadn't been angry before, she certainly became so then, shouting at the Oracle at the top of her lungs. “Work for him?! Pah! I intend to kill him! Him and anyone who gets in my way!”
Strangely Camille believed her. She could hear the hatred in Mara's voice. It was like a raging fury that would not be contained. Camille had no doubt that it was real. But then it fitted with what her aunt had suggested. That she had been hired by one of the Eternal King's enemies.
“Strange then that you have struck not one single blow against him in all these years. All you have done is attack the people fighting him,” Potaine observed.
“And who have I attacked, muck spout?! Do your lies know no end?!” Mara spat at her again. “I am no criminal! It's you who are the criminals – abducting me without any cause!”
“Your fiancé for a start.”
“Don't be stupid! I never attacked Thorm. Why would I? He was my tool. My means of access to the Palace of the Sun. But then he turned out to be a wizard and everything went wrong!” She glared angrily at the Oracle. “Horribly wrong!”
“It went a lot more wrong for him and my mother.” Camille interrupted from her cell, unsure if she was allowed to speak. But no one seemed to mind. Or at least they didn't say anything. They didn't even turn around to look at her. “Or had you forgotten that?”
“That was not my doing!” Mara yelled back. “Nothing should have gone wrong! Your mother should never have even entered the store! But my lying fiancé was hiding his nature from me. So it was his fault that everything went wrong!” She took a breath to steady herself. And then she looked again at Camille as a thought seemed to occur to her. “And what in all the hells are you doing here?! Locked in a cage?!”
