The idea originated with Bunch Jefferson. You can always count on Bunch having a few freak ideas in the belfry where he keeps his butterflies. Bunch and his wife, Alice, live out in Westchester County, about half a mile from Uncle Peter\'s bungalow, where friend wife and I are spending the winter. The fact that Uncle Peter and Aunt Martha had decided to give us a party was the inspiration for Bunch\'s brilliant idea. "Listen, John," he Macchiavellied; "not one of this push out here knows a thing about the Tango. Most of them have a foolish idea that it\'s a wicked institution invented by the devil, who sold his patent rights to the Evil-Doers\' Association. Now, I\'ll tell you what we\'ll do, John: we\'ll put them wise. We\'ll take about two lessons from a good instructor in town and on the night of the party we\'ll make the hit of our lives teaching them all to Tango—are you James to the possibilities?"

JOHN HENRY ON RACE TIPSTERS One day last week I was beating the ballast up Broadway when Pete, the Piker, declared himself in and began to chatter about cinches at the track. "Get the saw, Pete, and cut it," I said; "it\'s many a long day since I\'ve been a Patsy for the ponies. Once they stung me so hard that for months my bank account looked like a porous plaster, so I took the chloroform treatment and now you and your tips to the discards, my boy, to the discards!" Pete isn\'t really a native of Dopeville-on-the-Fence, but he likes to have people think he knows the racing game backwards. And he does—backwards. In real life he\'s a theatrical manager and his name on the three-sheets is Peter J. Badtime, the Human Salary Spoiler.

Author or co-author of over 50 musical comedies, librettos and plays. Worked as a telegraph operator.Author or co-author of over 50 musical comedies, librettos and plays. Worked as a telegraph operator.Author or co-author of over 50 musical comedies, librettos and plays. Worked as a telegraph operator.

Seven, come eleven! After promising Clara J. that I would never again light a pipe at the race track, there I stood, one of the busiest puff-puff laddies on the circuit. Well, the truth of the matter is just this: I fell asleep at the switch and somebody put the white lights all over me. Just how I happened to join the Dream Builders\' Association I don\'t know, but for several weeks I was Willie the Wild Boy at the race track and I kept all the Bookmakers busy trying not to laugh when they took my money. Every day when I showed up at the gate the Pipers played "Darling, Dream of Me!" and every time I picked a skate the Smokers\' Society went into executive session and elected me a life member.