ROBERT FALCONER, page 32
‘Robert, my boy, I’m not always so bad as that. Read this one — though I never feel like it now. Perhaps it may come again some day, though. I may once more deceive myself and be happy.’
‘Dinna say that, Mr. Ericson. That’s waur than despair. That’s flat unbelief. Ye no more ken that ye’re deceivin’ yersel’ than ye ken that ye’re no doin’ ‘t.’
Ericson did not reply; and Robert read the following sonnet aloud, feeling his way delicately through its mazes: —
Lie down upon the ground, thou hopeless one!
Press thy face in the grass, and do not speak.
Dost feel the green globe whirl? Seven times a week
Climbeth she out of darkness to the sun,
Which is her god; seven times she doth not shun
Awful eclipse, laying her patient cheek
Upon a pillow ghost-beset with shriek
Of voices utterless which rave and run
Through all the star-penumbra, craving light
And tidings of the dawn from East and West.
Calmly she sleepeth, and her sleep is blest
With heavenly visions, and the joy of Night
Treading aloft with moons. Nor hath she fright
Though cloudy tempests beat upon her breast.
Ericson turned his face to the wall, and Robert withdrew to his own chamber.
CHAPTER XIII. SHARGAR’S ARM.
Not many weeks passed before Shargar knew Aberdeen better than most Aberdonians. From the Pier-head to the Rubislaw Road, he knew, if not every court, yet every thoroughfare and short cut. And Aberdeen began to know him. He was very soon recognized as trustworthy, and had pretty nearly as much to do as he could manage. Shargar, therefore, was all over the city like a cracker, and could have told at almost any hour where Dr. Anderson was to be found — generally in the lower parts of it, for the good man visited much among the poor; giving them almost exclusively the benefit of his large experience. Shargar delighted in keeping an eye upon the doctor, carefully avoiding to show himself.
One day as he was hurrying through the Green (a non virendo) on a mission from the Rothieden carrier, he came upon the doctor’s chariot standing in one of the narrowest streets, and, as usual, paused to contemplate the equipage and get a peep of the owner. The morning was very sharp. There was no snow, but a cold fog, like vaporized hoar-frost, filled the air. It was weather in which the East Indian could not venture out on foot, else he could have reached the place by a stair from Union Street far sooner than he could drive thither. His horses apparently liked the cold as little as himself. They had been moving about restlessly for some time before the doctor made his appearance. The moment he got in and shut the door, one of them reared, while the other began to haul on his traces, eager for a gallop. Something about the chain gave way, the pole swerved round under the rearing horse, and great confusion and danger would have ensued, had not Shargar rushed from his coign of vantage, sprung at the bit of the rearing horse, and dragged him off the pole, over which he was just casting his near leg. As soon as his feet touched the ground he too pulled, and away went the chariot and down went Shargar. But in a moment more several men had laid hold of the horses’ heads, and stopped them.
‘Oh Lord!’ cried Shargar, as he rose with his arm dangling by his side, ‘what will Donal’ Joss say? I’m like to swarf (faint). Haud awa’ frae that basket, ye wuddyfous (withy-fowls, gallows-birds),’ he cried, darting towards the hamper he had left in the entry of a court, round which a few ragged urchins had gathered; but just as he reached it he staggered and fell. Nor did he know anything more till he found the carriage stopping with himself and the hamper inside it.
As soon as the coachman had got his harness put to rights, the doctor had driven back to see how the lad had fared, for he had felt the carriage go over something. They had found him lying beside his hamper, had secured both, and as a preliminary measure were proceeding to deliver the latter.
‘Whaur am I? whaur the deevil am I?’ cried Shargar, jumping up and falling back again.
‘Don’t you know me, Moray?’ said the doctor, for he felt shy of calling the poor boy by his nickname: he had no right to do so.
‘Na, I dinna ken ye. Lat me awa’. — I beg yer pardon, doctor: I thocht ye was ane o’ thae wuddyfous rinnin’ awa’ wi’ Donal’ Joss’s basket. Eh me! sic a stoun’ i’ my airm! But naebody ca’s me Moray. They a’ ca’ me Shargar. What richt hae I to be ca’d Moray?’ added the poor boy, feeling, I almost believe for the first time, the stain upon his birth. Yet he had as good a right before God to be called Moray as any other son of that worthy sire, the Baron of Rothie included. Possibly the trumpet-blowing angels did call him Moray, or some better name.
‘The coachman will deliver your parcel, Moray,’ said the doctor, this time repeating the name with emphasis.
‘Deil a bit o’ ‘t!’ cried Shargar. ‘He daurna lea’ his box wi’ thae deevils o’ horses. What gars he keep sic horses, doctor? They’ll play some mischeef some day.’
‘Indeed, they’ve played enough already, my poor boy. They’ve broken your arm.’
‘Never min’ that. That’s no muckle. Ye’re welcome, doctor, to my twa airms for what ye hae dune for Robert an’ that lang-leggit frien’ o’ his — the Lord forgie me — Mr. Ericson. But ye maun jist pay him what I canna mak for a day or twa, till ‘t jines again — to haud them gaein’, ye ken. — It winna be muckle to you, doctor,’ added Shargar, beseechingly.
‘Trust me for that, Moray,’ returned Dr. Anderson. ‘I owe you a good deal more than that. My brains might have been out by this time.’
‘The Lord be praised!’ said Shargar, making about his first profession of Christianity. ‘Robert ‘ill think something o’ me noo.’
During this conversation the coachman sat expecting some one to appear from the shop, and longing to pitch into the ‘camstary’ horse, but not daring to lift his whip beyond its natural angle. No one came. All at once Shargar knew where he was.
‘Guid be here! we’re at Donal’s door! Guid day to ye, doctor; an’ I’m muckle obleeged to ye. Maybe, gin ye war comin’ oor gait, the morn, or the neist day, to see Maister Ericson, ye wad tie up my airm, for it gangs wallopin’ aboot, an’ that canna be guid for the stickin’ o’ ‘t thegither again.’
‘My poor boy! you don’t think I’m going to leave you here, do you?’ said the doctor, proceeding to open the carriage-door.
‘But whaur’s the hamper?’ said Shargar, looking about him in dismay.
‘The coachman has got it on the box,’ answered the doctor.
‘Eh! that’ll never do. Gin thae rampaugin’ brutes war to tak a start again, what wad come o’ the bit basket? I maun get it doon direckly.’
‘Sit still. I will get it down, and deliver it myself.’ As he spoke the doctor got out.
‘Tak care o’ ‘t, sir; tak care o’ ‘t. William Walker said there was a jar o’ drained hinney i’ the basket; an’ the bairns wad miss ‘t sair gin ‘t war spult.’
‘I will take good care of it,’ responded the doctor.
He delivered the basket, returned to the carriage, and told the coachman to drive home.
‘Whaur are ye takin’ me till?’ exclaimed Shargar. ‘Willie hasna payed me for the parcel.’
‘Never mind Willie. I’ll pay you,’ said the doctor.
‘But Robert wadna like me to tak siller whaur I did nae wark for ‘t,’ objected Shargar. ‘He’s some pernickety (precise) — Robert. But I’ll jist say ‘at ye garred me, doctor. Maybe that ‘ll saitisfee him. An’ faith! I’m queer aboot my left fin here.’
‘We’ll soon set it all right,’ said the doctor.
When they reached his house he led the way to his surgery, and there put the broken limb in splints. He then told Johnston to help the patient to bed.
‘I maun gang hame,’ objected Shargar. ‘What wad Robert think?’
‘I will tell him all about it,’ said the doctor.
‘Yersel, sir?’ stipulated Shargar.
‘Yes, myself.’
‘Afore nicht?’
‘Directly,’ answered the doctor, and Shargar yielded.
‘But what will Robert say?’ were his last words, as he fell asleep, appreciating, no doubt, the superiority of the bed to his usual lair upon the hearthrug.
Robert was delighted to hear how well Shargar had acquitted himself. Followed a small consultation about him; for the accident had ripened the doctor’s intentions concerning the outcast.
‘As soon as his arm is sound again, he shall go to the grammar-school,’ he said.
‘An’ the college?’ asked Robert.
‘I hope so,’ answered the doctor. ‘Do you think he will do well? He has plenty of courage, at all events, and that is a fine thing.’
‘Ow ay,’ answered Robert; ‘he’s no ill aff for smeddum (spirit) — that is, gin it be for ony ither body. He wad never lift a han’ for himsel’; an’ that’s what garred me tak till him sae muckle. He’s a fine crater. He canna gang him lane, but he’ll gang wi’ onybody — and haud up wi’ him.’
‘What do you think him fit for, then?’
Now Robert had been building castles for Shargar out of the hopes which the doctor’s friendliness had given him. Therefore he was ready with his answer.
‘Gin ye cud ensure him no bein’ made a general o’, he wad mak a gran’ sojer. Set’s face foret, and say “quick mairch,” an’ he’ll ca his bagonet throu auld Hornie. But lay nae consequences upo’ him, for he cudna stan’ unner them.’
Dr. Anderson laughed, but thought none the less, and went home to see how his patient was getting on.
CHAPTER XIV. MYSIE’S FACE.
Meantime Ericson grew better. A space of hard, clear weather, in which everything sparkled with frost and sunshine, did him good. But not yet could he use his brain. He turned with dislike even from his friend Plato. He would sit in bed or on his chair by the fireside for hours, with his hands folded before him, and his eyelids drooping, and let his thoughts flow, for he could not think. And that these thoughts flowed not always with other than sweet sounds over the stones of question, the curves of his lip would testify to the friendly, furtive glance of the watchful Robert. None but the troubled mind knows its own consolations; and I believe the saddest life has its own presence — however it may be unrecognized as such — of the upholding Deity. Doth God care for the hairs that perish from our heads? To a mind like Ericson’s the remembered scent, the recurring vision of a flower loved in childhood, is enough to sustain anxiety with beauty, for the lovely is itself healing and hope-giving, because it is the form and presence of the true. To have such a presence is to be; and while a mind exists in any high consciousness, the intellectual trouble that springs from the desire to know its own life, to be assured of its rounded law and security, ceases, for the desire itself falls into abeyance.
But although Ericson was so weak, he was always able and ready to help Robert in any difficulty not unfrequently springing from his imperfect preparation in Greek; for while Mr. Innes was an excellent Latin scholar, his knowledge of Greek was too limited either to compel learning or inspire enthusiasm. And with the keen instinct he possessed in everything immediate between man and man, Robert would sometimes search for a difficulty in order to request its solution; for then Ericson would rouse himself to explain as few men could have explained: where a clear view was to be had of anything, Ericson either had it or knew that he had it not. Hence Robert’s progress was good; for one word from a wise helper will clear off a whole atmosphere of obstructions.
At length one day when Robert came home he found him seated at the table, with his slate, working away at the Differential Calculus. After this he recovered more rapidly, and ere another week was over began to attend one class a day. He had been so far in advance before, that though he could not expect prizes, there was no fear of his passing.
One morning, Robert, coming out from a lecture, saw Ericson in the quadrangle talking to an elderly gentleman. When they met in the afternoon Ericson told him that that was Mr. Lindsay, and that he had asked them both to spend the evening at his house. Robert would go anywhere to be with his friend.
He got out his Sunday clothes, and dressed himself with anxiety: he had visited scarcely at all, and was shy and doubtful. He then sat down to his books, till Ericson came to his door — dressed, and hence in Robert’s eyes ceremonial — a stately, graceful gentleman. Renewed awe came upon him at the sight, and renewed gratitude. There was a flush on Ericson’s cheek, and a fire in his eye. Robert had never seen him look so grand. But there was a something about him that rendered him uneasy — a look that made Ericson seem strange, as if his life lay in some far-off region.
‘I want you to take your violin with you, Robert,’ he said.
‘Hoots!’ returned Robert, ‘hoo can I do that? To tak her wi’ me the first time I gang to a strange hoose, as gin I thocht a’body wad think as muckle o’ my auld wife as I do mysel’! That wadna be mainners — wad it noo, Mr. Ericson?’
‘But I told Mr. Lindsay that you could play well. The old gentleman is fond of Scotch tunes, and you will please him if you take it.’
‘That maks a’ the differ,’ answered Robert.
‘Thank you,’ said Ericson, as Robert went towards his instrument; and, turning, would have walked from the house without any additional protection.
‘Whaur are ye gaein’ that gait, Mr. Ericson? Tak yer plaid, or ye’ll be laid up again, as sure’s ye live.’
‘I’m warm enough,’ returned Ericson.
‘That’s naething. The cauld ‘s jist lyin’ i’ the street like a verra deevil to get a grup o’ ye. Gin ye dinna pit on yer plaid, I winna tak my fiddle.’
Ericson yielded; and they set out together.
I will account for Ericson’s request about the violin.
He went to the episcopal church on Sundays, and sat where he could see Mysie — sat longing and thirsting ever till the music returned. Yet the music he never heard; he watched only its transmutation into form, never taking his eyes off Mysie’s face. Reflected thence in a metamorphosed echo, he followed all its changes. Never was one powerless to produce it more strangely responsive to its influence. She had no voice; she had never been taught the use of any instrument. A world of musical feeling was pent up in her, and music raised the suddener storms in her mobile nature, that she was unable to give that feeling utterance. The waves of her soul dashed the more wildly against their shores, inasmuch as those shores were precipitous, and yielded no outlet to the swelling waters. It was that his soul might hover like a bird of Paradise over the lovely changes of her countenance, changes more lovely and frequent than those of an English May, that Ericson persuaded Robert to take his violin.
The last of the sunlight was departing, and a large full moon was growing through the fog on the horizon. The sky was almost clear of clouds, and the air was cold and penetrating. Robert drew Eric’s plaid closer over his chest. Eric thanked him lightly, but his voice sounded eager; and it was with a long hasty stride that he went up the hill through the gathering of the light frosty mist. He stopped at the stair upon which Robert had found him that memorable night. They went up. The door had been left on the latch for their entrance. They went up more steps between rocky walls. When in after years he read the Purgatorio, as often as he came to one of its ascents, Robert saw this stair with his inward eye. At the top of the stair was the garden, still ascending, and at the top of the garden shone the glow of Mr. Lindsay’s parlour through the red-curtained window. To Robert it shone a refuge for Ericson from the night air; to Ericson it shone the casket of the richest jewel of the universe. Well might the ruddy glow stream forth to meet him! Only in glowing red could such beauty be rightly closed. With trembling hand he knocked at the door.
They were shown at once into the parlour. Mysie was putting away her book as they entered, and her back was towards them. When she turned, it seemed even to Robert as if all the light in the room came only from her eyes. But that light had been all gathered out of the novel she had just laid down. She held out her hand to Eric, and her sweet voice was yet more gentle than wont, for he had been ill. His face flushed at the tone. But although she spoke kindly, he could hardly have fancied that she showed him special favour.
Robert stood with his violin under his arm, feeling as awkward as if he had never handled anything more delicate than a pitchfork. But Mysie sat down to the table, and began to pour out the tea, and he came to himself again. Presently her father entered. His greeting was warm and mild and sleepy. He had come from poring over Spotiswood, in search of some Will o’ the wisp or other, and had grown stupid from want of success. But he revived after a cup of tea, and began to talk about northern genealogies; and Ericson did his best to listen. Robert wondered at the knowledge he displayed: he had been tutor the foregoing summer in one of the oldest and poorest, and therefore proudest families in Caithness. But all the time his host talked Ericson’s eyes hovered about Mysie, who sat gazing before her with look distraught, with wide eyes and scarce-moving eyelids, beholding something neither on sea or shore; and Mr. Lindsay would now and then correct Ericson in some egregious blunder; while Mysie would now and then start awake and ask Robert or Ericson to take another cup of tea. Before the sentence was finished, however, she would let it die away, speaking the last words mechanically, as her consciousness relapsed into dreamland. Had not Robert been with Ericson, he would have found it wearisome enough; and except things took a turn, Ericson could hardly be satisfied with the pleasure of the evening. Things did take a turn.
‘Robert has brought his fiddle,’ said Ericson, as the tea was removed.
‘I hope he will be kind enough to play something,’ said Mr. Lindsay.
‘I’ll do that,’ answered Robert, with alacrity. ‘But ye maunna expec’ ower muckle, for I’m but a prentice-han’,’ he added, as he got the instrument ready.
Before he had drawn the bow once across it, attention awoke in Mysie’s eyes; and before he had finished playing, Ericson must have had quite as much of the ‘beauty born of murmuring sound’ as was good for him. Little did Mysie think of the sky of love, alive with silent thoughts, that arched over her. The earth teems with love that is unloved. The universe itself is one sea of infinite love, from whose consort of harmonies if a stray note steal across the sense, it starts bewildered.
