Lost in the Dark, page 26
part #1 of Camden Point Romantic Suspense Series
“I found Vincent.” The other end of the phone went deathly quiet. “Mom?”
“I’m here. Is he… alive?” she whispered.
“No, I’m sorry.” As Ashley filled her mom in on what happened all those years ago, as tears streamed down her face and sobs racked the other end of the phone, a cool breeze wrapped itself around her. She promised her mom she’d call her later and talk some more. For now, Ashley needed to let her mom process the death of her first real love.
“How’d she take the news?” Vinnie shimmered into view next to Ashley on the steps as she held the phone tight in front of her.
“Better than Nate, but that’s another story. As for Mom, as you’d expect. She’s shaken over hearing that they killed you, that she’ll never actually see you again. I think she’s held on to hope all these years that she’d run into you. It was easier to think you’d run off than the other thing.”
“If I could change the past, I would,” he said. “Your mom was the best thing that ever happened in my life. For the first couple of years after I died, I couldn’t remember my life. I knew my name. First name, anyway.”
“That had to be hard.”
“In ways, it was easier than knowing the truth. I’d lost the woman I loved. My best friend killed me and I had a daughter that I missed out on watching her grow up.”
“It might have been a blessing. The teen years were not pretty.”
Vinnie—she couldn’t call him Dad, that was Ric Medearis, the man who raised her—chuckled. “Pretty sure that was my DNA influence.”
“Is your mom coming here?”
“We didn’t talk about it.”
“Doesn’t really matter. She can’t see me. I just wish I could look into those beautiful eyes of hers one more time and tell her I loved her.” He clapped his hands in front of him, startling Ashley. “Now, tell me. What happened with Nate? You said he didn’t take the news well. What news?”
Ashley picked at her cake to the point it no longer looked like the delectable dessert Miss Elsie made, but rather a giant puddle of mud with chunks of stuff she’d rather not think about it. She tossed it into the nearby trash can.
“Doesn’t really matter.”
“You are so my kid. Try again.”
“Fine. I told him I could see and talk to the dead. He thinks I damaged my brain and I’m having hallucinations. And since I refused to go to the doctor—because I’m fine—he said he can’t be with me.” The words cut straight through her heart, making her regret letting Nate in. If she’d kept him at bay, kept their relationship strictly as friends with benefits, she wouldn’t be sitting on the steps of the town gazebo, ready to curl up into a puddle of tears.
“You do need to see a doctor.” He held up his hand in front of her face, silencing her before she could utter a single syllable. “Not because you’re crazy. You’re no crazier than Lexie or Kat or anyone else gifted to see spirits, but to make sure you are physically okay.”
“Really, I’m—”
“Fine. Yeah, I’ve heard that before. But do me a favor. Do it for me? Let me have this one parental moment.”
Ashley laughed. “I have a feeling saying yes is a slippery slope to more parental advice and moments.”
“The girls would probably agree with you.”
Incredibly weird didn’t even begin to describe how it felt to sit and talk to her bio dad. In all the years she’d envisioned this moment, she’d never expected to be talking to a ghost or that she’d feel such a strong connection with him. It wasn’t like he’d contributed anything other than DNA, but those genes were strong bonds. She didn’t have his eyes or his nose (no offense, but thank goodness) or his chin. His mouth? Yeah, she had his smile and if you counted what came out of her mouth, she got that from him, too. She did have the same color of hair and the shape of his fingers and, she had a strong hunch, his rebellious streak. Despite the fact that they’d just officially met, she had a powerful urge to please him, at least this one time.
“I’ll go to the doctor, just to help you sleep better at night. Wait. Do you sleep at night? Where do you go when you’re not hanging around with Lexie and Kat or stalking me? Can you move things? Why are you never in the same outfit? And why are they like so crazy? For instance, today you’re wearing board shorts and is that Santa on a surfboard? I thought ghosts were stuck wearing whatever they died in. I have so many questions.”
“Thanks. Is this what it’s like to have a kid? A million questions at once?”
“You should have seen me when I was a kid. I never shut up.”
“Maybe being dead was a blessing.” His eyes twinkled with delight at teasing her. “Just kidding. Okay. No, I don’t sleep, but I rest and restore my energy. There’s lots of places I go, but if I’m resting, I just kind of fade out. It’s hard to explain. Think of a dark room with no windows or light. It’s like that. I can sometimes move things. It takes a lot of energy. The clothes? Eh, who wants to wear the same thing day in and day out?”
“Got any words of parental wisdom about what I should do with Nate?”
“Finally. One of my girls admits I’ve got wisdom to share.” His hand caressed the top of her arm, creating an icy patch on her skin. “Give him time. He’ll come around.”
“Vinnie, are you leaving now that I found you? Does this mean your business here is finished?”
Vinnie laughed and rubbed his hands together. “I’m not going anywhere, kid. I just became a dad. We’re just getting to know each other. Plus, you need to get to know Marilyn.”
“Who’s Marilyn? Oh, the woman in the office.”
“My girlfriend, but that’s a conversation for another day.”
Who knew ghosts dated? But then again, she had a feeling that Vincent Mattetuci was no ordinary ghost.
Chapter 21
It had been a week since they’d brought Hailey Sweeney and the other women home. A week of getting to know her father. A week without Nate in her life.
Lexie and Kat had come by the cottage to check on her and to let her know the job was still hers if she wanted it. Whenever that might be. Devin had shown up an hour after the big gazebo blowout scene. Seemed Lilly at the bakery had overheard, then called Tonja over at Irresistibly You Boutique, who then called Cindy over at Shear Illusions Hair Salon where Devin was getting a trim. You’d think with the way the small-town gossip line ran, they could have solved Hailey’s abduction sooner.
Devin had given her a day to wallow in self-pity, eat junk food, and get drunk off her ass. Too bad half a shot of whiskey went straight to her head these days. Since then, Devin had driven Ash to the doctor. The good news? No brain damage. Bad news? Ordered to take two weeks off because of a concussion. After that, she should be fit to return to duty. Devin forced her to get out, go for long walks on the beach, and eat healthy stuff like kale, Brussels sprouts, and tofu protein drinks. She hadn’t seen a simple carb in days. If the art thing didn’t work out for her friend, she could always become a personal trainer or a prison guard.
Vinnie had joined her on those walks, each spending the time to really get to know the other. She could see how her mom fell for the sweet-talking, charming bad boy. Ash had just returned from her daily walk when Devin met her on the back patio with a cup of hot chocolate.
She almost wept with joy.
“I’ve got to run to the store,” Devin said. “Do you need anything?”
“Besides something productive to do? And don’t say take another walk. I’ve already logged fifteen thousand steps, and it’s only eleven in the morning.” Ashley loved her friend and what she was doing for her. She loved getting to know Vinnie, but she was sick of spending so much time in her own head. All she did was question her actions. Critique everything she’d ever done in her life, or at least since her teens. Newsflash. She’d made a lot of mistakes. Including how she’d handled the conversation with Nate.
Devin gave her a quick hug and left. Ash took the cup of cocoa and settled into the wicker chair with the overstuffed cushions to stare at the pale blue sky scattered with fluffy white clouds, and listen to an annoying bird chirp in a nearby tree. She wasn’t allowed to watch TV, read, or drive a car. Clearly, she was allowed to drive herself straight to Boredomville.
The front door clicked. “Did you forget your purse again?” Ashley asked.
Heavy footsteps thudded across the wooden floor. The scents of clove and cinnamon, with a hint of eucalyptus and lemon, wafted across the air.
Butterflies took to a flight frenzy inside her as her pulse sped up, and her mouth ran dry. Excitement tinged with a load of apprehension filled her body. Her lungs refused to release the air inside until she looked up into his gray-blue eyes filled with pain and concern.
He held up a white bakery bag. “I come bearing gifts.” That whiskey-soaked voice wrapped around her heart, sank into her soul, and felt like coming home for the holidays. When she didn’t answer right away, he set down the bag and ran his hand across the back of his neck.
Something inside her sighed as another part clicked into place, or maybe that was the lock on her heart clicking firmly shut. She couldn’t say he looked good, or well rested—not with those dark circles and wrinkled shirt. His tie, normally so straight and tight, hung loose, and she was pretty sure it had a ketchup stain. But man, had she missed his face. Missed being with him.
She picked up the bag and peeked inside, inhaling deeply of the goodness of Miss Elsie’s blueberry muffins. As far as olive branches went, it was perfect. “I’m surprised to see you.”
“I hope it’s a pleasant surprise.”
“Depends. Why are you here?” She sat the bag down and wrapped her arms around her middle as if that could keep her heart safe. She had wanted to reach out before this, but he was the one who walked. She refused to chase after any man who could walk away because if he did, it wasn’t really love to begin with. Just pheromones on overdrive from really great sex, which she also missed.
“To talk and apologize.” He gestured to the other chair and Ash nodded, taking her seat, and tucked her feet under her. “I handled everything wrong last week. I’m sorry, Ashley.”
Her heart squeezed in hope, or maybe she was about to have another anxiety attack. She’d had a few since the shooting.
“Apology accepted, but it changes nothing. You promised no judgment and that you’d always have my back. You did the exact opposite.” A light breeze swept in from the ocean. At least, she hoped it was just the wind. She didn’t feel like dealing with the dead. Either way, she pulled the throw over her lap, more as a physical barrier than anything.
“I did, and I can’t say sorry enough for that.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I have my own ghosts haunting me. Not the same as yours, but memories… trigger points from my past. When you said that you could talk to the dead, I flashed back to my childhood. It was one of my mother’s favorite scams. Pretend she was a psychic. There was this woman. A widow. I think my mom bilked her for a couple of grand before the woman’s kids chased my mom away.”
She pulled the blanket higher, hating that Nate had to grow up with parents that put him last, but it didn’t excuse the fact that he broke his promise to her.
He leaned forward as if he was trying to erase the barrier she’d put up. “My dad was pissed. He’d been working some other scam at the time and had just gotten the mark where he wanted him. Mom came home and said we had to get out of town. The police were going to show up any minute.”
“Sounds like karma getting payback.”
“Maybe. I grabbed my suitcase. I had known not to unpack. I remember, I left my stuffie. It was a dog—Duke. When I told my mom, she said tough, it was time I grew up. I was eight.”
Her heart ached for that little boy, for Nate having to grow up so fast, for losing what had to be the one thing that comforted him. Only self-preservation kept her from reaching out.
“Then when you refused to go to the doctor, it was Mara all over again. I know I shouldn’t compare—”
Damn. She hadn’t thought of Nate’s past or what he might have been going through. It had all been her, her, her. No wonder she was single.
Nate was an amazing guy, despite his rule-following persona. When she was with him, everything felt right in her world. Or at least that she could handle what life threw her way. He made her laugh. And tingle. And he’d made her feel like she belonged to someone. Like she had a real chance at a full life because she’d always wanted a lifelong partner and kids, pets, and a home filled with love. All the things Ric and her mom gave to her growing up.
And what had she done when life had presented her the opportunity of a lifetime to realize that dream? She’d ignored the signs. She’d backed away, put up walls, and set firm boundaries. Then when those barriers failed, and she fell, she put up more barricades and pushed him away.
But here he was, opening up to her again, taking care of her and, hopefully, giving her another chance.
“It’s hard not to compare, given what you’ve gone through,” she said. “Self-preservation is a basic instinct and you’re not the only one who’s sorry. You asked me to do something because you were worried and cared about me. And I was a bitch.”
Nate chuckled. “That’s a little harsh.”
“It’s true. I let my fears rule my reaction to you. What I should have done was put myself in your shoes and try to see it from your perspective. If the roles were reversed, I’d like to think I would have believed you.”
“But?” He scooted closer and wrapped his big hands around hers.
“I probably would have thought the same thing as you.” She laughed and moved closer until their knees touched. “I saw the doctor.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m not crazy… Well, I didn’t mention that I could see dead people, but my brain is fine. There’s no damage from the blows.”
“That’s great news, and I know you’re not crazy. You like to break, or rather bend the rules, but you’re not a liar and I should have been more understanding.”
“Can we both just admit we could have done better and maybe move forward?” Please say yes. Give me another chance. She didn’t want to think about going through life without Nate. Sure, she’d do it if she had to. Her mom had taught her that you go on, you don’t give up, and if she was lucky, Ashley would find love again. But she didn’t say any of that to Nate. She wasn’t going to guilt him or plead. Either he was in or out. Either he loved her or he didn’t.
“I’d like that but only if you’re with me, however that looks. You stay here, or I move to New York, or we commute on the weekends. Whatever it takes to make this relationship work because I love you, Ashley.”
Tears burned at the back of her eyes, escaping to run down her cheeks. He was offering her so much more than a dream. He was the light at the end of a tunnel guiding her home. They just needed to talk about the celestial elephant in the room.
“Even if I see dead people?”
“Even if, because maybe there is more out there than what we can see, or I can see. Sort of like love. It isn’t corporeal, but you feel it, you see it in actions, hear it in words, but not everyone does. It took me a few days to get over my fears. I really was worried that you were having delusions. I never meant to imply you were crazy. Mental illness of any kind isn’t something you have control over.”
She sat back. Did he think she was mentally ill? That she could pop a pill, be better and they’d never have to deal with this issue again? Because that wasn’t how it worked. Her concerns must have registered on her face because Nate held up a hand.
“Wait. I’m botching this,” he said.
“Nate, do you believe me?”
“Yes, but I won’t lie. I’m still a little skeptical about the whole paranormal thing. I’m a science and fact guy.”
“I know, by the book.” It didn’t matter how he came to his decision. He believed her, and that was all she needed.
“It took some research for me to get there.”
“Yeah, I Googled for days after seeing my first ghost,” Ashley said.
“I also talked to some people.”
“Lexie and Kat?”
“And their husbands. You’re not alone. I’m a little freaked by the idea, and I don’t know what happened when you flatlined, or why you came back with this ability, but if it allows you to talk to your dad, it’s a gift, Ash.”
“So you know everything now.”
“Not everything. Are you leaving?”
She leaned into his space. Pressed her lips to his. Love and light filled her soul until she wanted to laugh with joy. “I was planning to, but that was before I had a great reason to stay. Nate, I love you. I’d like to stay here or anywhere, as long as we’re together and we can see where this crazy chemistry takes us.”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She melted into his embrace, and his love broke down all her blockades, snapped the lock on her heart, and filled it with love.
“I already know.”
“Really? Did you talk to a fortune teller?”
“Yep. First order of business, we have makeup sex. Then I take you out on an actual date with no talk of work, then we come back and have more makeup sex.”
“Does that mean we have to fight again?”
“No, the sex will be a continuation… for good measure.”
“Okay, I could be down for that.”
“Good, because I’ve missed the feel of you under me, over me, next to me.”
Ashley grabbed his tie, gave him a quick kiss, and led him inside. “Keep talking. What else did this mysterious psychic say?”
“After weeks of copious amounts of sex, we should move in together. Get engaged, have more sex. Argue—because I know we will, then—”
“Have more makeup sex?”
