Jack & Eva, page 13
Eva fumbled with the key. This was what she’d been hoping for. For them to be comfortable enough to message all day. She turned the ignition and nodded at the same time. If she was determined to live every moment to the fullest, she needed to start now. Maybe drop some of her volunteering commitments so she could spend more time with Jack.
The noise of the engine rumbled through the quiet front yard. She shoved the gears into reverse and was about to leave when Jack said, “Jillian offered me the spare bedroom tonight so that we can get an early start tomorrow morning.” He fidgeted with the hem of his shorts. “Can … can I see you again?”
Oh, bloody hell! She was already hurting him. How much worse would it be when she wasn’t around? He sounded unsure, like he was almost a little afraid she’d reject him. She put the ute back into neutral and strengthened her resolve. Live every minute like it’s your last. She swung the ute door open, causing Jack to jump out of the way, and got out. Within seconds, she had her arms around his neck in a stranglehold. “Yes, Jack, to everything.”
He reciprocated the hug with his arms plastered around her waist. The short hairs on his chest tickled her face. She grabbed another lungful of the smell of his skin, which hinted at their lovemaking. She groaned out her frustrations at not being able to stay for the rest of the day.
Jack nudged her away. “Go!” he demanded, turning her around.
“Yeah, I better,” she replied, hopping back into the ute.
Halfway down the driveway, she burst into tears—big, noisy ones with the occasional hiccup. The sort of crying that would leave her face red and blotchy and take a good half hour to disappear—and not give herself away when Jack turned up with her breakfast.
Jack turned away from the retreating ute and climbed the verandah steps. Eva’s departure had cast the world in a dull, hazy light. Gone was her laughter, her smile, and the unstoppable energy she carried everywhere with her.
He made his way back inside the house and flopped down onto the comfy swag, folding his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes to the pockmarked walls and the reminders of the hell that was his past. Instead, he brought up images of Eva and their night together. Eva wouldn’t believe it, but he was smiling and in this house.
He rolled to his side and hugged his pillow. Opening one eye, his gaze landed on the wardrobe. Shit! Its removal was still on his list of must-do chores. He might ask Eva for the loan of her ute. Dwelling on it was all it took to start the tightening in his chest as a mild panic attack wove its way through him.
Spotting the discarded yoga mat, he jumped up, snatching it and his carelessly flung shirt from the night before, and stormed outside. He couldn’t have it both ways. He couldn’t have Eva and the house if he didn’t have the strength to remain inside its walls. Back on the verandah, he stretched the shirt over his head and pushed his feet into joggers. He had a few minutes before needing to make the promised breakfast, and Eva’s babies had calmed him before. Stupid, he knew, but that favourite spot of Eva’s was probably saving his life.
He found the energy to push aside the tingling panic sensation and made his way to the backyard. Breathing in and breathing out. Slowly, carefully, while watching his footing after he passed into the dense canopy of the forest.
Whoever said living in a rural and remote area was peaceful was a liar. The forest was alive with the noises of birds and the scurrying of animals underfoot. He could smile again now that his heart had calmed and his breathing was normal. He’d never get a decent sleep-in with that racket outside a bedroom window.
When he reached the family of roos, he spread out the mat and leant back against their favourite tree. When he looked up, he was relieved the roos were going about their business. That was all he needed. His shoulders sagged, and the tension left his body. He could do this.
With Eva’s help and her torrent of energy, he made the first resolution he’d made in a long time. As soon as he finished helping Mick, he would get rid of the wardrobe and knock out some walls. Baby steps, but he had to work out for himself if the house was a place he could live in. Part-time, at least.
A frown tightened his brow. He had his Brisbane home and his other life. Meshing it together with a life this far north was a problem for another day. Baby steps, he reminded himself. He’d given himself a year; surely, some solution would eventuate in that time.
Now for breakfast. He spotted the baby joey poking its face out of its mother’s pouch as he got to his feet and rolled up the mat. He deemed it his good luck detector. Never one to dally with superstitious rot, this thought surprised him. With his breathing under control, he would storm back inside the house and head straight for the kitchen. He’d never made breakfast for anyone, but Eva was turning out to be a surprise first on many counts. Toast, baked beans and some scrambled eggs. How hard could it be? Throw together an overnight bag for Mick’s place and the day would be over before he knew it.
There was no time to dwell on anything, which was a new experience. Thank you, Eva, he mouthed, giving her babies one last glance before leaving. If Eva taught him anything, it was the value of keeping busy all day. He’d never looked at life that way before.
CHAPTER 18
Eva flicked through the photos on her phone of Mick’s new cabin and smiled at the funny antics of both Mick and Jack. She gulped down her breakfast, hurrying to get back to her latest What’s Up edition. She struggled to concentrate on it and was working dangerously close to her deadline. This was never a good place to be.
In another shot, Jack carried young Trevor on his shoulders while Trevor wielded a kids-sized hammer. Eva sighed. She needed to put the phone down and edit the triathlon photos.
Before she did, she re-read the message Jack sent after the images.
After today, Mick won’t need me for a couple of weeks. He’s waiting on the plumbing and electrical work to be done and the glaziers to install the windows and doors. I’ll be back home tonight.
Something in her chest tightened. Was this an invitation? God, she hoped so. She hadn’t seen him since her eggs-on-toast breakfast two days ago, and her ability to focus had gone out the window. She caught herself daydreaming a hundred times a day ever since. Not to mention cursing about how much time she and Jack were wasting by being apart. It left her resentful and depressed about how close her birthday was.
She pushed her empty breakfast plate away and sighed again. With so little time left, she could just throw the towel in and give up. But it wasn’t her way. She’d devote her days to her work and passions right until the last minute, just in case history got it all wrong and she was somehow spared, which reminded her that the next afternoon at the roo park was the designated volunteer day for the residents of the aged-care facility. No doubt Harold would ask about the promised update on Jack. She swallowed, nervous about what to tell him. Ah, I’ve fallen for your son; we had the most amazing sex, and I want to do it again and again.
Better not. Rubbing her arm, she worried about the state of her mind. She double-checked the time Jack sent the message and noted it was about an hour ago. It was probably while he was having breakfast after the milking.
She flicked through her own gallery and found the photo she’d taken of Jack looking up at the green tree frog. It was now officially one of her favourites. She attached it and added it to his last message.
Thought I’d include this one in my next edition. You okay with that?
She was about to switch off her phone and knuckle down when it pinged in the quiet of her kitchen. Her heart sped up.
The frog looks great.
Her phone pinged again.
If you must.
Eva smiled. This was consent enough. Another ping.
Will I see you tonight?
She groaned and dropped her face into her hands. If she hadn’t wasted so much time over the past two days, she’d have her latest magazine ready for printing. She lifted her face and reached for the phone again.
I’m running behind with my mag.
Eva tapped furiously.
Struggling to concentrate on it. Technically, your fault.
She received a smiling emoji and imagined his smug grin at the other end.
Must have it ready by lunch tomorrow. Then I’m on at the roo park for the afternoon.
This time she received a sad-face emoji.
I’m free the next night.
Six excited-face emojis appeared and a red heart. The air whooshed out of her lungs. She’d thought of nothing else since their incredible night together.
The phone pinged with his next message.
I’ve missed you.
She groaned even louder in her quiet kitchen. She had to get back to work and concentrate.
Me too. But I need to get back to work.
Three dots bubbled on the screen for half a minute.
Ok, me too. Just finishing an early smoko.
She closed the conversation, took her empty plate to the sink and vowed she wouldn’t look at her phone again until after dinner. Could she hold that pledge? Would the lure of more conversation with Jack be too much?
She left the kitchen, pulling her hair into a messy bun. In her office, she locked the door, determined to get the job done. She wasn’t coming out until the magazine was ready to send to the printers.
Come on, girl, no one has ever distracted you like this before.
Then again, Jack wasn’t just anyone.
Jack eyed the shrivelled rubber plug and hoped it would hold water. He was more surprised it was still around. He’d hosed the old, concrete-style laundry tub with the remnants of a hose he found coiled up underneath the house. His next shopping list would include a new washing machine to be delivered and a hose from the local hardware shop.
A new washing machine? Did this suggest permanency?
He closed his gaping mouth and filled the now not-so-mouldy laundry tub. Jillian had done one load of his washing, but the clothes he wore stank of cattle dung and sweat. They needed an urgent soaking, and without a washing machine and no desire to drive into town to use the laundromat, he’d get his hands dirty by doing it the way he remembered his mother sometimes did.
This memory was enough for Jack to grimace in the privacy of his backyard. His mother had done it tough. For a well-to-do young woman whose well-respected father worked many years in the local council, she’d fallen in love with a boy from the wrong side of town.
As to which town his father came from, he didn’t think he’d ever been told. Did his mother ever learn who the man she married really was? Jack had a vague recollection of his mother arguing with his grandfather over Harold’s ability to hold down a job. Jack was young, but he didn’t doubt his grandfather had died a broken and disappointed man over his daughter’s choice of husband.
Leaving his clothes to soak, he made a concerted effort to change the direction his thoughts were headed. It would only leave him glum. He’d had a great couple of days. In the years since spending time with Mick’s family, nothing had changed. Mick was still on the ‘normal indicator’ of how a family should live. They chatted about many things while the cabin slowly transformed into shape. The only subject they never touched on was his father. Mick knew better.
Jack itched to annoy Eva with more messages but ruled it out. He understood the work commitment and had some catching up to do that night with his investments.
Instead, he took slow, measured steps around the house and let ideas filter through his mind. The back of the house could feature a patio. It would be the perfect place to eat breakfast while he watched the kookaburras and curlews enjoy their own. Stimulating smells from the forest would welcome him each morning and fill him with heady scents.
There was room enough to include a double carport, hidden but tacked onto one side. It was a good idea to keep the vehicles out of the weather and yard, where a snake wasn’t enticed to curl up near a warm radiator. He’d seen that once as a kid.
An hour later and crammed with ideas, Jack rushed inside and switched on his laptop. He’d dabbled in building designs before, and this was no different. Start with the basic layout and work around it with new ideas.
A couple of hours later, he couldn’t ignore the grumble of his stomach. Jack quickly ingested a toasted cheese sandwich for dinner and then another one, his mind far too alert to put the project aside. He justified his lack of cooking skills by how spoilt he’d been over the past few days. Between Eva and Jillian, he was confident he’d eaten enough nutrients to get through at least one night.
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and his thoughts returned to the room layout he wanted inside the house, including the additional office he planned to tack onto the weatherboard side. Ideal for his work commitments, or maybe the production of a monthly magazine? Baby Nursery?
His fingers froze over the keys when he questioned the path his thoughts had taken. The lingering smell of melted cheese in the air interrupted his thoughts, and he decided he could go another round of toasted sandwiches. Until he registered the time was three am, and he could barely manage an exhausted smile. It was funny how the mind worked when you pushed it too far. He’d made good progress on the plans and would email the ideas to his usual architect mate to get his perspective.
For now, he needed sleep. Already showered and teeth cleaned after dinner, it was a no-brainer to switch the laptop off and fall onto his swag. His ‘more comfortable than her bed’ swag. Smiling at Eva’s description was the last thing he did before sleep took over and before he had a chance to worry about what nightmares that night would procure.
Jack groaned and opened an eye. In boxers only, he’d long kicked off the swag outer, comfortable with no covers on the sultry summer night. Sprawled on his stomach with his legs splayed in both directions, a spasm ripped through him. He rolled onto his back as his heart sped up.
“Holy shoot,” he whispered into the surrounding quiet. He’d slept through the night. No panic attacks, no nightmares, just blessed sleep, like he needed to catch up on a lifetime of it. He sat up and looked around. Ploughing a hand through his hair, his gaze snagged on the bloody wardrobe. With a tank full of sleep under his belt, he waited for the usual panic. He tensed just in case everything changed in an instant.
When nothing happened, he questioned whether he was still sleeping and pinched his arm. Nope. I’m awake. Allowing his breathing to return to normal, he rubbed his hand over his face and chuckled at the same time. How long had he slept for? He stumbled up and went searching for his phone.
His stomach grumbled while he tapped the front of his phone. It was one pm—nine hours of sleep.
He swallowed a chuckle and let the phone slip onto the kitchen bench. This was the first sign that maybe he could get past this hurdle. It hadn’t seemed possible until then, but it gave him some hope he might be able to keep the promise he made to his mother.
She had tried so hard for him, and the guilt that he had never fulfilled it hadn’t gone anywhere. Maybe if he didn’t live here full-time, it could be his home away from home.
This revelation was huge, and for the first time in a long time, he wanted to share it with someone. Eva’s face was the first to pop up. He double-checked his phone. She would be at the roo park. He scrubbed a hand over his face and made for the shower. He needed to get changed and have some breakfast, fast. This compulsion wouldn’t go away, and he’d get there faster if he hiked through the forest. Her trail of bright pink flagging tape would lead him there in a flash.
Yes! Eva would understand the magnitude of what had just happened. He wiped away a light sheen of sweat already building upon his brow. The humidity hovered thickly inside the house. He hadn’t taken a glimpse outside yet, but memories of his childhood and other storms invaded his thoughts as he splashed water over his face.
One was undoubtedly brewing.
CHAPTER 19
Eva left the chattering group of seniors cutting up fruit under the covered enclosure and anxiously looked at the sky. She had two choices: duck inside Dr Karen’s home and sit in the toilet for the storm’s duration, or before it hit, make an excuse and dash home. This was her preferred option. She could cower in her usual spot between the bed and wardrobe where nothing had touched her in the past. Then she wouldn’t have to hide the paralysing fear that her thirtieth birthday was the next day.
She swallowed the lump blocking her throat, aware that Harold had been trying to corner her since his arrival an hour ago. Today of all days, she didn’t want to be sidetracked, stopping her from getting away if she needed to. Another glance up; the angry, black clouds were quickly building, rolling and blooming. She had half an hour up her sleeve at most.
Harold had detached himself from the group and was making his way to where she would feed the babies. She sighed and beckoned him over. With Dr Karen preparing the milk, she could spend a few minutes chatting with him.
His stiff, elderly gait made him look older than he was. His hair was a shock of grey and his face heavily lined. He hadn’t been kind to his body. His broken past and alcohol abuse didn’t excuse his treatment of his son and wife. Instead, it saddened Eva how a vicious cycle could continue over more than one generation.
“Take a seat, Harold. How are you today?”
Harold grimaced as he held a steadying hand on the seat’s frame and sat down. “I hoped you might have come to visit me sooner.”
Eva winced. She always made time for Harold and the other seniors, often bringing a tree kangaroo to the aged-care facility and sharing the joy of learning about these wonderful animals. It wasn’t her nature to constantly use work as an excuse, but it was the truth for some weeks. Add Jack to the equation and Harold never got a look in.
“He’s good, Harold,” she offered first. “He’s taken good care of himself.”
The relief was palpable in his expression until anxiety skittered across it. “Has he asked about me?”
