An Unconventional Bride, page 12
“How dare you strike me?” he exclaimed. “Who do you think you are, woman?”
Emma’s chest rose and fell in anger as she stepped closer to him, drawing a deep breath. “I may be a woman, but I know many powerful people who can crush you in the blink of an eye. Harass me again, and I will personally see to it that you are humiliated to a degree where there is no recovery. You shall run with your tail between your legs like the cowardly dog you are.”
The young man narrowed his eyes and backed away from her, his cheek still crimson from her slap. He pointed briefly at her, but did not say anything further.
She tried not to show a single sign of fear, despite her heart beating ferociously in her chest. As the young man turned and finally walked away, Emma exhaled slowly, tears immediately filling her eyes.
She felt as if she might collapse to ground from the aftermath of the unpleasant event. Her knees were shaking hard beneath her skirts and her hands were trembling.
“My lady,” came a familiar voice from behind her, and she whirled around. Her heart plummeted into her boots at the sight of William, standing stock still and staring her with shock in his expression.
Chapter Sixteen
WILLIAM HANDS KEPT clenching and unclenching. He wasn’t sure if it was shock, or rage at what Emma had just endured, that fuelled his pounding heart and had him wanting to call that damn miscreant out.
Lord Niall was notorious for being an insensitive brute who objectified women and discarded them as soon as he was done. As soon as William saw him approach Emma, he started forward to assist her, but before he could get there, she showed herself more than capable by getting rid of the man herself.
He was quite impressed at the force with which Emma had slapped her attacker—not once but twice—in a way that had made the cad stumble backward.
She had dispatched him without needing Will’s assistance at all. But he still wished to ensure she was all right.
He was trembling on her behalf. He could only imagine what she must be feeling in this moment.
Just because she was more than capable of speaking her mind and handling any given situation that was thrown at her, it did not mean she should have to do so.
He wanted her to know that she was not alone, even if she didn’t need his help.
He rushed across the street, in the direction Emma stormed off, and called out her name. Emma, however, did not turn toward him. Given what she had just been through, he did not blame her in the least.
“Emma!” He called out one more time in desperation. “Please!”
Finally, she spun around. As soon as she saw William, she sighed, her shoulders slumping considerably.
“What do you want?” Emma asked.
“I simply wish to make sure you are all right,” William said.
“I am perfectly fine.”
“If you are as perfectly fine, as you claim to be, why are there tear stains on your cheeks?” William asked.
“That is none of your business, my lord,” Emma muttered.
“In actual fact, it is, my lady.”
“And how do you figure that?” Emma inquired with a furrowed brow.
“Every moment since the first time we—”
“Please, stop,” she interrupted, and raised her hands in a gesture that begged him to stop speaking.
“Allow me to speak, Emma, even if it is only this once,” William persisted, pressing the palms of his hands together and steepling his fingers under his chin.
She crossed her arms over her chest, hunching in as if needing to protect herself. “Go ahead,” she said quietly, giving him the freedom to speak.
“Everything that has happened to you has been because of me, and I cannot tell you how sorry I am that my decisions and behaviour have affected you so greatly. I wish there was something I could do to make things right,” William explained, his heart aching in his chest.
“Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do, William. And it isn’t just your fault, of course. It is also mine. As a consequence, my reputation is ruined and I have lost all my friends. People whisper whenever I pass by, and their judgemental stares have made me reluctant to leave the confines of my parents’ home. I had hoped things would settle down and people would forget the tales that have circulated about me, but they have not. I find myself being harassed and attacked by men who only see me as a light-skirted woman and not deserving of any respect,” Emma answered.
Pain struck him across the chest, seeing her so sad. So... defeated.
“I have grown tired of being a walking target for men who think they can take advantage of me. I have grown tired of people whispering and not wishing to have anything to do with me. I simply do not have the strength to deal with such hypocrisy any longer,” she added in a weary tone.
“It pains me to see you this way, Emma.”
She shook her head. “It is not your fault, and there is truly nothing you can do to make it right. Except leave me be. I wish you had not seen... that.” She pointed in the direction of where her altercation with Lord Niall took place.
“I only wish to ensure that no harm has come to you,” William answered.
“I am perfectly fine, as I said already.” Emma lowered her gaze. She winced slightly as she closed her hand into a fist and opened it again, and William noticed the reddened skin on her palm.
“Can I take you home?” he offered. “It is most certainly the least I can do.”
Emma glared at him. “The least you can do is leave me alone, as I just said. Have I not made it perfectly clear that I do not wish for you to come anywhere near me?”
“I only wish to help.”
“It is not your duty to help me or rescue me, or marry me, because you pity me and think I need saving. You are not my saviour. There is absolutely no reason for you to go above and beyond to assist me,” Emma pointed out.
“You and I both know very well there is a reason, my lady. Quite a few reasons, in fact.” William reached for her arm but she shook him off.
“No, there most certainly is not.”
“Are you always this stubborn? I offer my assistance not out of guilt or pity, but out of—”
“I do not require your assistance,” Emma huffed. “I am fully capable of caring for myself.”
“And what a fine job you did,” William muttered.
“Yes! I did.” Emma’s face flushed red.
Admittedly, she had done a fine job. Once again, her ire when he was trying to help had gotten to him. He took a deep breath and released it in a sigh. “You can publicly humiliate me, my lady, and I would still offer my assistance to you,” William answered.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Emma scoffed. “It is most certainly a good thing I will not be around to see it first-hand.”
“What does that mean?” William inquired, suddenly filled with even more concern.
Emma’s gaze shuttered. “I should not have said a word.”
“Tell me,” William insisted.
“It is not your place to demand things of me. I am in control of my life and my decisions, and leaving Somerset is the best thing I can do for myself,” Emma said, and turned away.
“You are leaving? Not... for good?” Panic rose up inside him and he stepped toward her.
“Perhaps. I am not certain when I will return,” Emma answered.
“When will you leave?”
“Soon.”
Her evasive answer frustrated William immensely, but still he asked, “Where are you going?”
“I am certainly not telling you that. I do not wish to be followed. I simply wish to be alone,” Emma said.
“But you’re meant to be here,” William insisted, a lump forming in his throat. “With me.”
Emma’s eyes began filling up with tears, and she lowered her gaze. “Oh, Will.” Her voice was suddenly a husky whisper. “I must go. Take care.”
With her eyes remaining cast downward, she turned and made her way across the street to where her father’s coach waited for her.
He watched as the coachman assisted her to climb into the vehicle and, as it moved away, his heart sank. A fiery and rather peculiar ache erupted in his chest as the coach disappeared from sight.
He couldn’t breathe.
“My lord,” he heard a voice behind him. He slowly turned, unable to respond accordingly as Carson Wallace approached him. “You are as pale as a sheet. Is everything all right?”
“She is leaving,” William whispered, still in shock. “Emma. She is leaving Somerset, perhaps for good, and there is not a single thing I can do or say that will make her stay.” He raked his fingers through his hair.
“I heard,” Carson said.
“From whom?”
“From the lady herself,” his friend answered. “Earlier, she was in the apothecary purchasing oil of amber. We spoke briefly and she informed me that her father was permitting her to visit Edinburgh.”
“Edinburgh? That is a very long journey.” William sighed.
“Indeed,” Carson agreed. “William, may I give you a bit of advice—as a friend?”
“It would be most welcome, since I have not an inkling of what to do or say to make her stay,” he answered.
“Perhaps it is not your place to ask her to stay. It seems as though this is something Lady Emma has been wishing to do for a long while, and now, amidst all this chaos, she obviously feels it is the perfect time to go,” Carson answered.
“But that means that she would leave,” he said, still shocked by the day’s events.
“Perhaps you should not ask her to stay, but see if she would like you to go with her,” Carson pointed out. “I also think...”
“Yes?” It was pathetic, the eagerness in his own voice as he waited on what Carson would say next, but he would take any help he could get.
“I am not sure if you have been fully transparent with Lady Emma, in relation to your feelings. But if you have not... then perhaps, it is time for truth.”
His words made William ponder for a few moments, but the more he thought about it, the more absurd it seemed.
Emma would never allow him to accompany her, despite his heart desperately wishing otherwise. Emma had made it perfectly clear she did not wish him to come anywhere near her.
“I cannot do such a thing,” William finally answered and turned to his friend. “I have overstepped my bounds with Emma too often. She deserves to spend time away from Somerset, as well as from me. I have been the cause of all the terrible things that have befallen her, and I wish for her to be happy. I don’t think she will be happy, with me.”
“Even if that means your unhappiness, without her?” Carson stared at William as though he were daft.
He glanced in the direction Emma’s coach had disappeared and sighed, his heart heavy. “Especially then.”
Chapter Seventeen
EMMA’S BEDCHAMBER WAS littered with items of clothing. From an outsider’s perspective it must look like a garment explosion had occurred inside the room.
Kitty glanced around as Emma continued to choose the items she wished to pack.
“I cannot believe you are leaving tomorrow,” Kitty sighed.
Emma nodded. “Nor can I. And despite leaving and not being able to spend time with you, I am truly excited about this trip.”
“You deserve some peace, Emma. The past few weeks have not been easy for you. I can understand why you wish to distance yourself from Somerset,” Kitty said, her expression filled with concern.
“What is the matter, Kitty?” Emma asked, placing one of her favourite coats inside the large trunk beside her.
“I am worried that you are perhaps being a tad rash. Running away from your problems is not going to solve them,” Kitty answered. “In fact, it might only make matters worse.”
“Worse than they already are? I doubt that is possible,” Emma scoffed. “And I am most certainly not running away. I merely require a break from these people, the whispers, the gossip. Never in my life had I imagined what it would be like to be spoken of in such a manner. The prejudice, the judgement. I will always remain a light-skirted woman in everyone’s eyes. People who do not even know me now think horrible things about me.”
The duchess sighed. “I cannot even begin to fathom what you’re going through, my dearest Emma. I truly wish there was something I could do to help you.”
“There is not a soul alive who can do anything to make this go away.”
“Not even William?” her friend asked.
“Especially not Lord William,” Emma muttered.
“Will there ever come a time when you will tell me exactly what happened between the two of you?” Kitty asked.
Emma stared at the duchess for a moment and sighed. “Perhaps it is time I told you everything.”
“Only if you wish, Emma.”
She nodded and approached her bed where the duchess was seated. She sat beside her friend and rested her hands in her lap. “Perhaps it is time for me to tell someone, and I would much rather it be you than anyone else.”
Kitty smiled with encouragement and sat quietly while Emma drew in a deep breath.
“As you are aware, my introduction to Lord William was nothing short of disastrous, to say the least, and initially we despised one another. We did not wish to be in each other’s company at all. We avoided one another as best as we were able. When the duke locked us into the study, we argued and said despicable things to one another. Then something happened that I still cannot explain. Something rose up inside me, and...”
“And what?” Kitty asked. “Was that when you threw a book at him, as the duke told me?”
Emma chuckled and shook her head. “I did not throw a book at him. I would never throw a book, Kitty.”
“That was my initial thought as well.”
Emma inhaled and then whispered, “Lord William and I were intimate, on the desk. The books toppled over due to our...err... well, I don’t need to say more, I believe.”
The duchess cringed and she pursed her lips briefly. “I certainly did not expect that.”
“Nor did I,” Emma admitted. “It happened, and as much as I tried to convince myself that it had been a massive mistake, I could not. In actuality, I could not stop thinking of him, even though I scolded myself for doing so. He is most certainly not a man whom I would usually spend my time with. He seemed to be everything I hated and despised in a man, and yet, somehow, I fell in love with him. I attempted to convince myself that I was mistaken and that what I felt could not possibly be love, but...”
“Oh, Emma.” Kitty leaned over and took her friend’s hands. “Love comes when we least expect it,” Kitty pointed out.
“I am aware of that.”
“And the rumours of you and William at the ball?”
Emma couldn’t control the flush of heat that rose up from her neck. “The essence of those rumours is true, though not the embellishments about our attire. She did not catch us in the act, so to speak. She just made assumptions, and spread the gossip without regard for whether or not it was true.” Emma sighed. “That said, I do not regret what happened in the least. At that moment it was exactly what I wanted. He was perfect, despite my head telling me that he was wrong for me.”
“And why would your head tell you such a thing?” Kitty asked.
She sighed and lowered her gaze to their clasped hands. “William is not the kind of man who would usually pique my interest. I will not deny that he is handsome and charming, because he is, but his beliefs regarding how a woman must behave are not something I share. That is not something I can simply overlook, Kitty.”
“Perhaps William has mellowed in his views?”
Emma couldn’t help but chuckle. “A man as stubborn as Lord William does not abandon his long-held beliefs, especially not for a woman.”
“Hmm. I can attest to the opposite, in my relationship with James.” She frowned at Emma. “At what stage did you decide to follow your head instead of your heart, my dear friend?”
Emma’s shoulders slumped.
“I was on the brink of admitting to him that I had developed feelings for him, but then he arrived at my parents’ townhouse and did something rather ludicrous,” Emma told the duchess. She chuckled bitterly at the memory. “The foolish man asked me to marry him.”
“He did?” Kitty exclaimed. “What did you say? Why did you not tell me? When did this happen?”
Emma was momentarily stunned and overwhelmed by the duchess’s numerous questions. She bit her lower lip. “It happened nearly a week ago. He arrived at the townhouse and insisted on speaking with me, not worried about my father’s threats if he were ever to come within a block of me, or the townhouse. William told me that he was sorry and he wished to make things right. Then he asked for my hand.”
Kitty was practically bouncing on the bed in excitement. “And what did you tell him? Does he know of your trip?”
“I had not decided on the trip at that stage. The idea only came to me the next day,” Emma answered. “I declined to marry him, as I was well aware he only suggested it to rectify my tainted reputation and assuage his own feelings of guilt. It was not a proposal filled with love. It was a proposal of pity and remorse. I refused to be a part of that.”
“He was not the only one at fault, Emma,” the duchess pointed out gently.
“And what does that mean?” she asked defensively.
“Both you and Lord William are adults, and the times you were intimate were consensual, were they not?”
Emma would never lie about that. “Indeed.”
“Then it is partly your duty to assume some of the responsibility that goes along with the act.”
“I do! Of course, I do. I said exactly that to Will. What is that to do with—”
“I am your friend, Emma, am I not?”
“Yes.” She wasn’t sure where this conversation was heading, but she suspected she wouldn’t like it.
“That is precisely why I can be honest with you,” Kitty said. “William is my brother-in-law, and I know he can be annoying at times, but he is a good person at heart. I wish for both of you to realise that, despite all your differences in opinion, there are only two other people who are as perfect together as you and William are for each other.”
