Looking Out, page 18
Chapter Twenty-five
Natasha had greeted everyone and was sitting at the table with her closest friends, enjoying a glass of wine while keeping half an eye on the mass of raucous children running around. She’d forgotten how exhausting watching and listening to masses of children playing was. Sipping on her wine and casting her glance around, she let herself be annoyed that Jesse hadn’t let her know if he was coming or not.
‘Look at that – typical Australian event at home,’ Miriam said with a sigh. ‘Women one side, men on the other, and never the twain shall meet.’
They all turned to look, shielding their eyes from the sun.
Natasha scrutinised Mitchell carefully. He was standing at the barbecue, beer in one hand, clicking the metal tongs with his other, clearly making a point of some sort to the three men with him, who were apparently hanging on his every word. The only adults they’d invited were her close friends, their husbands and Anastasia’s friend David, who seemed nice enough. Natasha was pleased to see Mitchell outside and being sociable – knew he’d probably rather be sequestered away in his room.
‘Well, at least we can be ourselves,’ Vanessa said with a sigh. ‘Honestly, Jeremy was a nightmare this morning, for reasons I’d rather not go into. I’m glad he’s out of my direct line of sight. I could bloody well strangle him sometimes.’ She took a long sip from her glass.
‘Ah, yes, but at least he cooks for you, quality notwithstanding,’ Anastasia said.
‘You make a very good point. I suppose I’d better keep him around.’
The group chuckled and several of the women stretched their legs out further and sank deeper into the director’s chairs arranged around the table.
Natasha thought the whole mood of the day among the adults was more subdued than usual. Maybe it was just that they were weary.
She snuck yet another look at Monica, who was staring away from her, out to the lawn. Her friend had seemed a bit frosty upon arrival and a little stiff when they’d briefly hugged. There was a part of Natasha that was keen to check her friend was okay – hopefully she was just having an off day, emotionally. But Natasha also didn’t want to tempt fate by effectively pushing Monica into a corner that required her to speak if her mood happened to be due to her opposition to Jesse, as Mitchell had indicated was the case the other day.
During the week, Natasha had sent Monica a text thanking her for stopping in, expressing disappointment she’d missed her and suggesting she drop by the shop sometime for a coffee. It was a standing invitation that Monica rarely took up, but Natasha had received a thumbs-up emoji nonetheless. Despite their long history and close relationship, she and Monica weren’t the sort of friends who texted daily or even weekly, really, and definitely not just because – they tended to leave messaging and phone calls to when they had something major to discuss.
‘I wonder how long it will take before there are tears and tantrums in that lot,’ Anastasia said, looking over her sunglasses at the gaggle of children.
‘Only a matter of time, I should imagine,’ Vanessa said.
‘Yes,’ Natasha said. ‘I just hope whatever happens doesn’t require a trip to emergency.’
‘God, yes. But realistically, the odds are stacked against us with this many munchkins in one place, aren’t they?’ Miriam said.
‘Hey, so where’s this mystery man of yours, Natasha?’ Anastasia said, again tilting her sunglasses down to look over them at Natasha.
‘Things not that carefree or Bohemian then?’ Miriam said quietly.
‘Yeah, I was hoping to meet the man who has your heart aflutter. I must say, Natasha, you are coming across a little loved-up,’ Vanessa said.
Natasha searched for the right response. Where the bloody hell was Jesse indeed!
‘Oh no, surely there’s not trouble in paradise already?’ Miriam said.
Natasha dragged her phone from her pocket to check it as she had about a million times that day already. There was still nothing from Jesse. She tried to curb her impatience, which was turning into concern. What if something had happened to him – car accident, workplace accident, family emergency? Did he have any close family? The uneasy feeling that she still really didn’t know him at all gathered uncomfortably within her.
Natasha was mid-meal when movement beyond the table caught her eye. She looked up to see Jesse walking along the driveway towards them, a bottle tucked under one arm and a shoebox-shaped present in his hand. She leapt out of her chair, aware of all eyes being on her as she raced out to meet him.
Just in front of him, Natasha froze, unsure how to appropriately greet him. She had to do something, so she grabbed his shoulders, quickly kissed him on the cheek and released him. Suddenly she was really self-conscious. The flip-flapping of her stomach told her this was a really bad idea. But it was a bit late now.
‘I wasn’t sure if you were coming,’ she said, as they walked back to the others, while trying very hard to keep her frustration and bubbling fear in check and out of her voice. Jesse remained silent beside her.
‘Everyone, this is Jesse Taylor,’ she announced when they got back to the table. ‘Jesse, this is, er, everyone. I’ll introduce you properly later.’
There was a chorus of mumbled hellos.
‘Hi,’ Jesse said, raising his hand.
‘Take a seat and help yourself,’ Natasha said.
Jesse, still standing, looked around the group, nodding, and settled his gaze on Willow at the end of the table. ‘I’m guessing you must be the birthday girl?’
Willow nodded. ‘Yes, that would be me,’ she said, grinning.
‘Here you go. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays,’ he said, giving her a broad smile. He passed his gift to Willow.
‘Thank you so much,’ she said, accepting it. ‘I said no presents, but I’m glad you did. Thanks, Jesse.’
Jesse sat in the empty seat beside Natasha, who cringed inwardly while she waited for Willow to open her gift, hoping it was age appropriate, and wondering how much Jesse had had to do with kids. She found herself wringing her hands and then separating them and pushing them under her legs in order to stop fidgeting.
‘Books. Cool. Thanks so much,’ Willow said, holding up two hefty paperbacks.
‘You’re very welcome,’ Jesse said. ‘I hope you haven’t already read them.’
‘Um, nope. They’re perfect,’ Willow said, beaming. And then Natasha was shocked to see her daughter get out of her chair and wrap Jesse in a big hug from behind. ‘Thanks again, Jesse.’
‘Glad you like it,’ he said, patting her arms and looking a little unsettled.
Natasha couldn’t help again thinking she liked that image of him being slightly uncomfortable. She cast a quick glance at Mitchell to see his reaction to Jesse’s interaction with Willow. Their daughter’s immediate, fervent acceptance and affection had taken even Natasha a little by surprise, though she reminded herself Willow was being the polite and inclusive child they’d raised her to be. Thankfully Mitchell didn’t look any more out of sorts than he had that morning – or of late, really. The last thing they needed was tension or, dare she even think it, macho squaring-up type behaviour. She wished Mitchell would talk to her if there was something up, but that was really too much to expect now, given she’d pushed him away so much.
‘Right, so, Jesse, pass your plate,’ Mitchell said, holding out his hand. ‘There’s lamb chops, marinated steak, homemade burgers, pork and beef ribs, and an assortment of vegetarian offerings, which are on that other plate, just over there.’ He pointed.
‘Lordy, you don’t do things by halves, do you?’ Jesse said with a laugh. ‘The marinated steak sounds great. Ah, what the hell, surprise me, thanks, Mitchell.’
Natasha tried hard to not allow the breath she was holding to come out with the intensity of relief she felt at watching Mitchell and Jesse interacting so amicably. She allowed herself to relax as Jesse’s plate was filled and handed to him. Then Mitchell offered and dished up seconds for the others, mainly the men, who laughed heartily and muttered that they couldn’t leave a man to eat alone.
Only when cutlery was scraping on plates and conversation had restarted properly, did Natasha fully settle again. Even more so when she looked at Jesse and they shared a smile. He grabbed her leg under the table and squeezed and she quickly gripped his hand in response. Allowing herself an inward sigh, she thought, All is right with the world again.
‘I hope that was okay – the books. Bringing a gift at all …’ Jesse said, once the kids had bounded off to play before cake cutting and dessert.
‘A good choice of present, mate, she’s actually been mentioning that author for a while,’ Mitchell said.
Natasha liked to think Mitchell was being genuinely kind and welcoming, but wondered if she could detect a hint of sarcasm or spite.
‘So, how was your week?’ Natasha asked, leaning into Jesse, aware of the eyes of all their friends on them from around the table. ‘I missed you.’
‘Oh. Yeah, it was okay. And I missed you too, babe,’ he said, giving her hand a quick squeeze before releasing it again. ‘Great meal, thanks, Natasha, Mitchell. And thanks so much for having me.’
‘All good, mate. The more, the merrier. Can I get you a drink? Do you have one? Sorry, I got a bit distracted.’ Mitchell stood up.
‘I brought wine – red,’ Jesse said, lifting it up from the messy table in front of him. ‘But I wouldn’t mind a beer – a light, since I’m driving – if that’s on offer?’
‘Yep. No worries. Onto it. Help yourself to more food,’ Mitchell added, despite Jesse’s only partially emptied plate.
‘Cool. Thanks.’
‘Oh my god, are any of you already being bombarded with the bloody Elf on the Shelf all over your Facebook feeds?’ Anastasia said a few moments later, breaking the silence.
‘What’s this?’ Jesse said.
‘Oh. A bit of an inside joke,’ Natasha explained. ‘The Elf’s this little stuffed toy – it’s a Christmas thing – that people have doing stuff, ridiculous antics around the house with. It’s fun, but a bit silly.’
‘Come on, explain the other bit,’ Miriam said. She leant around to look at Jesse. ‘The having it do stuff is one bit – meh, whatever, you do you, and all that. But what gets on our goat is they then plaster it all over your Facebook feed – and everyone does a daily post, so there are hundreds of the stupid things floating around. I don’t even find it funny. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.’
‘Nope. We’ve established we all hate it. We discuss it every. Fucking. Year,’ Vanessa said. ‘It makes me want to ditch Facebook completely. That and the stupid Wordle bullshit. Urgh.’
‘Ah, Jesse will agree with you there – he’s not online at all,’ Natasha said, pleased to be able to include him in the conversation. ‘Wise man.’
‘What’s that?’ Miriam asked.
‘Jesse isn’t online – has no social media – so doesn’t know how annoying the Elf on the Shelf or Wordle or anything else is,’ Natasha explained.
‘Oh, god. You’re smart,’ Vanessa said.
‘It’s great fun, by all accounts. Maybe we’re the problem,’ Miriam said, slurring slightly.
‘Could be,’ Anastasia said with a laugh.
‘I’ll drink to that,’ Vanessa said, holding out her wine glass.
‘Here’s to being the problem,’ Miriam said, also raising her glass high.
‘Hear, hear,’ the small group chanted. Even Monica – though with less gusto, Natasha noticed.
Natasha also noticed Jesse’s features seemed a little clouded and brooding. It was on the tip of her tongue to say, It’s just banter, lighten up, Jesse, let it go. She didn’t want anything ruining today. And, anyway, she’d had a couple of wines and there was every chance her words would come out too harshly.
‘Yes, cheers,’ Jesse said suddenly, seemingly brighter again.
Natasha hoped his smile was genuine, but her view was blocked by his glass when he took a sip.
‘Really?’ Monica said, frowning and peering at Jesse. ‘You’re not online at all?’
Natasha experienced a wave of gratitude and relief. Monica was clearly making an effort with Jesse.
‘Nope.’
‘Oh, I thought it would have been mandatory with a business like yours. Being mobile – on the move and all,’ Monica said.
‘All you need’s a mobile number and a good track record. No need to advertise then,’ he said, flashing his brilliant smile, complete with wink.
‘Righto, good for you,’ Monica said, taking a sip of wine.
Natasha was a little disappointed that the conversation – all conversation – ended. Though it didn’t help that Mitchell was now causing a din, having begun collecting and stacking the dirty plates and gathering the main meal’s accoutrements.
‘Right. Who’s for dessert? Shall we cut the cake now, Natasha?’ Mitchell said, lifting the pile of plates off the table.
‘Sounds good.’
There was a mumbled chorus repeating Natasha’s answer from most of the table’s occupants, who were lounging back, feet stretched out and looking sleepy. But no one made a move to get up. Natasha didn’t want to and it took far too much effort just to put her hands on her director’s chair’s arms to begin hoisting herself up. She’d really better stop drinking. She was starting to get a dull headache.
‘I’ll help,’ Jesse said, jumping up and putting a hand on her arm before grabbing meat platters and removing them from the table.
‘Oh. Okay, thanks.’ Natasha slumped back into her chair, wondering if this was a good idea, Jesse and Mitchell working together. But Mitchell didn’t seem to mind.
Natasha kept her eye on them until Mitchell, after wedging open the screen door with his foot and pausing to let Jesse in behind him, disappeared inside. She longed to be a fly on the wall in the kitchen. Would they speak? What would they say? Who would start? Or would they just silently stick to the task at hand?
She turned back to the table where Monica and Anastasia were huddled together, talking quietly. No doubt they were discussing the strange circumstances of Jesse’s presence. It was strange. Everything about the situation was, so of course they’d be analysing and discussing it. She’d most likely be the one initiating the conversation if it wasn’t her in the middle of it.
‘So, how’s business, Natasha?’ Jeremy, Vanessa’s husband, said from across the table.
‘To be honest, it’s slow, so if you have any leads, feel free to send them my way.’
‘I’ll be sure to. You know I love your work.’
‘Thanks. I appreciate that. How are things with you?’
‘Flat chat. Which is good, but also, you know …’ He shrugged. ‘Fine line and all that. Thank goodness I’ve got Vanessa doing the books for me. That shit does my head in.’
‘Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean. I guess that’s one good thing about not having too much business to account for,’ she said with a wry smile.
‘That’s true. Silver linings,’ he said with a laugh. ‘I saw your Willow’s art online. Lovely. Very talented.’
‘Yes, I think so. Though I’m biased.’
‘I’m not. Well, maybe just a bit,’ he said with an easy laugh. ‘But, seriously,’ he said, raising his glass and arranging his features into an expression of respect.
‘Here’s to exploiting our children,’ Natasha said, laughing, keen to keep things light. She had a feeling Jeremy could very easily go into elephant in the room territory. He tended to become quite deep, verging on morose, after a couple of red wines. She’d always liked Jeremy, and had had some great deep and meaningful conversations with him over the years, including when totally sober. But this was not the time nor the place.
‘Cheers to that. We haven’t found a way to monetise ours as yet – if you think of anything, let me know,’ he said with a laugh.
‘Will do.’ Natasha grinned and took another sip, relieved that the seriousness in Jeremy seemed to have slipped away.
Just as Natasha was wondering how long Mitchell and Jesse had been gone for – and if she should be concerned – Jesse reappeared.
‘Okay?’ she said, as he put a bowl of fresh fruit salad on the table.
‘Yep. All good.’
‘Do you need a hand?’
‘Nope, we’ve got it, Mitchell and I. The cake’s coming out any second. So maybe round up the kids?’ he said, collecting the two remaining salad bowls and leaving again.
Natasha stood, put her hands around her mouth and yelled, ‘Willow, cake-cutting time!’
A stream of teens and pre-teens returned, Angel trotting behind. They sat and brought their heavy breathing under control, the colour in their cheeks subsiding.
Mitchell appeared carrying a large chocolate cake covered with cream and fresh strawberries and flaming candles, followed by Jesse with a stack of plates and cutlery wrapped in pink paper serviettes, which he deposited before sitting down beside Natasha.
‘Come on, everyone, gather around for a photo,’ Willow said, standing behind her cake at the end of the table. ‘Get a photo on my phone, Mum, Dad – one of you. Someone!’ she wailed. ‘Did I tell you I got a brand-new smartphone for my birthday?’
‘Yes,’ several of her friends said, groaning.
‘We’re all jealous,’ said Willow’s friend and Vanessa’s daughter, Alice.
‘Yeah, don’t remind us,’ Caitlin said.
‘Here, I’ll do it,’ Jesse said, getting up again. ‘Gather around, Natasha and Mitchell, Lara – come in close. Kids beside Willow, then everyone else.’
There were murmurs of agreement and much shuffling and repositioning.
‘Come on, crowd in. That’s it.’
‘Hurry up, everyone!’ Willow shouted. ‘Else we’ll run out of candles.’
‘Right,’ Jesse said. ‘Say, um …?’
‘Happy birthday, Willow!’ Willow called.
‘Okay. Everyone ready? On three,’ Jesse said.
A shout of ‘Happy birthday, Willow’ rang out loudly.
‘Oh, and take one on my phone, please,’ Natasha said, handing her phone to Jesse.
