Rescue 12 Responding, page 6
David and Jonathan worked with precision as they prepared the driver of the semi for transport by helicopter to the nearest trauma center, where the surgeons were standing by. The blood from his head wounds no longer flowed freely, and his pulse was weak.
A large ET tube hung from the patient’s mouth, and Jonathan was compressing the Ambu bag, forcing air through the ET tube. The patient was no longer breathing on his own. Slowly his chest rose and fell at each compression of the bag. The helicopter team finally arrived, and Jonathan gave them a short verbal report. Within minutes, the helicopter was again back up in the air, this time racing toward the Emergency Department. Time, every second, counted.
Death followed their patient to the hospital. Doctors and nurses picked up the match with Death. IV fluid rapidly replaced the lost blood, and large tubes were inserted into the man’s chest that helped drain the pooling blood pressing against his heart and lungs. With the regained space in his chest wall, his lungs expanded again to a reasonable size. A ventilator constantly brought a 100% concentration of oxygen to the patient and Death angrily watched as his fingers were pried off by this team of warriors. His grip would no longer hold.
Suddenly Death laughed and released his prisoner. “I could keep you if I wanted. But, I do not want you,” Death turned from the room, but no one who could hear Death’s boast believed him. They all knew he had lost. Angels stood guard over their ward and ministered strength to the exhausted human warriors. They watched as the patient was moved out of the emergency department and into ICU. The human warriors were tired, but somehow ready for the next patient.
The traffic continued to back up on 56th street. David and Jonathan watched as the helicopter lifted from the street and began toward the hospital. The two men walked over to their unit and began to clean up the blood and used medical supplies off the floor. Each man looked over at the Mercedes, but neither returned to the car.
Fifteen minutes later, David notified dispatch, “Rescue 12 back in service.”
“Acknowledged. Continue into headquarters.”
An hour later, after the quick unit maintenance, they were released to return to their station, "Two calls already, and at least six to go!” Jonathan said as he sat back in the passenger’s seat. “I think we better eat now while we have a chance. I have a feeling we better get it fast, if we are going to get it at all today.”
David was too tired to respond to the implication that they might have six more calls. No sense jinxing themselves.
Nothing was worse than being hungry, paying for a meal, getting a call, and watching the food be dumped in the garbage can, so they ordered and devoured their meal quickly. Neither talked until they had finished. “Did you see in the paper that they are having a group memorial service tomorrow at the school auditorium for those three kids from Friday’s cocaine overdose?” Jonathan asked.
“Yes, and I thought that we should go. The families might like to see us there. Maybe we can answer a few of their questions."
“Not like we will have the answer to the questions they will be asking! But you’re right. I’ll go, if you do.”
“Ok, tomorrow we’ll meet at the station and go over together.” David sat back in his seat, ready to take a deep breath and relax a little. “I wouldn’t mind seeing how Terri’s doing, either.”
David began to change gears mentally and move on to the more recent calls, “Those ladies in the Mercedes, I really got a feeling that they are going to be missed. Have you ever gotten ‘feelings’ about your patients?”
“Sure, I really ‘felt’ like we have been working too hard recently.” Jonathan laughed. “No, seriously, I have gotten ‘psychic impressions’ of people before. Who hasn’t?”
“Well, this ‘feeling’ is different. I can almost hear someone saying things to me, like, these were good ladies, they’re in a better place. Like death wasn’t the end for them.”
Jonathan put down his soda and looked up at his friend who seemed determined to take today’s conversation into uncharted territory. For some reason, Jonathan was willing to go with it. “That’s an amazing amount of ‘feelings.’ Did you ever hear ‘voices’ before talking to you?”
“I am not talking about ‘lock me up crazy voices,’” David said. “I am talking about the quiet inner voice we all have that tells us when something is right or not. I know you hear that. We all do. Any psychology textbook talks about it. Some call it your conscience, others call it your heart.”
“Yes, yes I know. And Christians call it the spirit. Everybody has their own spirit within them that leads them, and once they become believers, the Spirit of God, Himself, is supposed to come and teach their spirit directly. That is how the theory goes.” Jonathan smiled at the knowledge he had gained as a child that never seemed important before.
“You know, that is kind of exactly what Terri’s mom, Mrs. Blake, told me,” David remembered. “She said that the Spirit of God would be with me always, even in the back of our ambulance, and that He would teach me, and that He could teach me about God by things that happen. Do you believe that can really happen?” David’s words quickened as he sought for answers to questions that he didn’t even realize he had.
Jonathan shrugged his shoulders. “I guess anything can happen in the back of our ambulance. It gets pretty crazy back there.”
“So then, if you think that, and obviously you have a lot of knowledge that you never told me about before, what is this ‘better place that death has no part of?’ And what else do you know that I should know?” David asked.
“Hold on, David! I don’t know enough to answer these questions, and I really would feel guilty teaching you these things, especially if I don’t walk in what it is you are asking about. Just because I know about this stuff, doesn’t mean I believe it all. You need to talk to someone who walks what he talks. I’m not going to be a hypocrite. That’s the reason I quit going to church. I got tired of all the people talking about this power and the presence of God, and then not being any different than me. No, you need to find someone who you think you can trust.”
“Look, Jonathan, you are the only one I would trust with this. I don’t know anyone to ask, other than you. I would rather have one honest answer from you than any answer from someone I don’t know or trust.” David leaned forward and placed his hands on the table. “Please, teach me.”
“Well, I guess that’s fair. You sure have taught me a lot about the streets. I have seen you help me when you didn’t have to. So, I’ll be honest and answer any question you have, and if I don’t know the answer, then you and I will search it out and find the answer. Just don’t tell my dad, or else he’ll think you’re an answer to prayer, and we sure don’t want that!”
David and Jonathan left the restaurant, returning to their ambulance and headed back to their station. “This will all start to make sense soon, right?” David asked with expectation. “So, where do we begin?”
“Ok, start with prayer. You do know how to do that, right?”
“Prayer. No, not really. Is there a book of prayers that I can buy somewhere?”
“Man, I’m going to sound like a master to you. You really are at ground zero. Prayer just means talking with God. It will grow to mean a lot more but start with talking to God. If you really believe He is in you, He will hear you, and you will hear Him.” Jonathan had forgotten how good it was to think about God. “Ask Him your questions, and see how He will answer you, either in your heart or in some circumstance that shows you the answer.”
Two strong warriors, angels of Light and Power, stood to the side of David and Jonathan. Michael and Sabbath were the angel’s names. One name meant beloved of God, the other one meant Peace. They now had the strength to defeat the attacks of the dark ones, being strengthened not only by David’s open and curious heart, but by the intercession of Mrs. Blake, a mighty prayer warrior.
Michael and Sabbath surrounded David with their shields. Jonathan’s inner voice was being awakened by their presence. Michael spoke, “It is good to awaken the inner man of Jonathan. The Spirit of God is working on that one as well.”
“Yes, we will see a great victory in these two men.” Sabbath touched David’s right hand.
David sat back and relaxed his grip on the door rest. It was beginning to make sense to him. He grinned at Jonathan. “It really helps to talk about this stuff. You’re a good friend. Thanks.”
Jonathan found the muscles in his back had begun to relax. His heart began to slow. He grinned back at David. “I know it won’t make sense, but I really enjoyed going into all this stuff. It was fun to remember. Dad would be pleased.”
Michael looked out of the ambulance window towards the western sky and spoke, “Let us seize the time. Death has prepared an attack against these two. We are strong enough to stop him. Let us approach the Spirit of God and see if we can bring Peace to this area. Let Jonathan and David have a quiet day and rest tonight so that they will be strong enough to bear the attack and struggle of tomorrow’s battle.”
These messengers of light stood before the Father boldly. Theirs was an easy task. Peace poured from the throne, surrounding the men and their area.
David quietly went to the bunk room and began to read. As the hours passed, Jonathan watched sports on TV then fell asleep. Later that night, they exchanged nervous glances as they prepared for sleep. The unspoken rule of thumb was that if they were quiet during the day, they would be up all night on calls. That didn’t seem to be the case tonight.
Morning came with the sound of the oncoming crew kicking their beds. “Hey, you lazy bums, get up,” Carl barked with obvious envy at their current condition.
David rolled over and slowly stretched his arms over his head. “So miracles still do happen!”
“I can’t believe that we slept all night,” Jonathan smirked in disbelief. “Well, I’m ready for today. What is it that we’re doing again?”
“The memorial service for the teenagers, you are still going.” David rose from his bed and prepared to end his shift. “I’ll meet you back here at 2:00, that will give us plenty of time to get there.”
Carl went to the log book that held the record of the daily emergency calls. “I see that at least you did work on the couple of calls that you ran. I hope that you enjoyed your little vacation.”
David began to tell Carl about the equipment missing from the rescue unit, “Some spinal equipment went with the driver of the semi-truck to Tampa General by helicopter. We still have two boards, but if you get back to the hospital, pick it up.”
“I don’t think I’ll want to, sounds like it will be pretty bloody. We’ll just let them clean it first. I’m sure the two boards will be enough.” Carl walked over and checked the controlled medications. Both he and David had to sign the log that these medications had been transferred to the oncoming team. David signed the log and gathered his equipment. It had been a long time since he’d had such a peaceful shift. He grinned and walked to his car, knowing he would remember this shift for a long time.
Chapter Three
Tuesday:
What’s the Point?
3:00 pm: The school parking lot was full of cars and students. Television cameras were set at the entrance doors with live reporters. Public intrusion was being forced upon the grieving mass of students and families alike. There were plenty of questions, but no one had any acceptable answers, so the questions continued. David and Jonathan headed to the side door, glad they had chosen not to wear their uniforms and could blend into the crowd, unnoticed.
The steel doors stuck against the jam. David pressed a little harder, and the door popped open. The sunlight pressed in, pushing the darkness back, but only for a moment as the door slowly closed behind them. David and Jonathan entered. Then there was nothing but darkness and dim, artificial light. The darkness surrounded them, and each felt the heaviness and stifling oppression permeating the atmosphere of the school gym.
Jonathan groaned. “The depression in here is about to strangle me.”
“This service won’t last long,” David whispered. “Look at all these people. They all want out of here, too.” There was quiet; no band, no cheerleaders, no mighty warring team. The hush of Death and Depression stifled each one’s breath. Only an occasional sob was heard above the deafening silence. Each person looked within themselves for some light, some hope, some reason for this tragedy. Most only found the darkness within overwhelming. There was no hope, David thought as he began to remember each dead teenager as he had found them in that house. Their faces began to haunt him. He closed his eyes, this time imagining them laughing, being kids. Then he shivered as he remembered the tangible sensation of death and the eerie silence of being surrounded by so many who had just died.
David forced his mind to focus on Terri, the one survivor. He remembered her face as she lay unconscious in the back of the ambulance. She was at peace, and she miraculously lived. Yet faced with these two conflicting extremes of senseless death and eternal life, he struggled, and Depression tightened his hold.
He began to see the faces of other patients he had treated… the mother and child, killed by the drunk driver… the lonely old man who had shot himself in the head while David helplessly stood by and watched, begging the man to wait… the young woman dead in her bathroom from the hands of her husband… One by one, each memory came. Each holding a clue to something that began to tear into David’s belly. What was the point? What is the hope? Why try? Is there no hope? David bent his head forward and his eyes filled with tears. Tears were not unacceptable or unmanly now. He looked around and saw other men crying. He wondered if they, too, were overwhelmed with the hopelessness of life. He looked again, this time his eyes filled with anger. He wanted to yell out loud, You cry for these children, but I have seen hundreds die! The pain is too great… Death is too strong! The anger turned to sorrow, and he stood up. “I need to go outside and get some air,” He left Jonathan sitting.
Jonathan would not, could not move. He yelled at the battle within him, screaming to himself, I am not going to break. I am stronger than these deaths. I will not cry! Paramedics take pride in the high walls around their emotions. How else could they survive? He didn’t dare allow himself to feel or cry like David, or he might lose it. Jonathan let David leave alone. “I will survive,” he spoke out loud, but under his breath.
The sun shone brightly. David wondered if it was mocking the darkness. He began to focus on the questions rising within him. He wanted to think about anything other than the teenagers. Light and Dark? He mused the question in his mind. Often in his college English class, they had pondered the concepts of Light and Dark, Good and Evil, Life and Death as deeper things, things of the inner man. That was so long ago. Yet the questions remained.
He pondered the issue of love. Love really was a beam of light. No one could deny its existence. If hatred, death, and destruction were darkness, then love was the Light. David’s eyes dried of tears. He took a deep breath and began to walk about the courtyard. Everyone else was inside. He was alone. At least, he thought he was alone…
He heard a small inner voice raise another question within him, Did you feel loved when you read of God’s love? Did you feel His presence? Wasn’t his presence the presence of Love?”
Suddenly David remembered Terri’s face as she looked up at him from the ambulance stretcher. She had seen the face of Love. David remembered Mrs. Blake at the hospital. What was that strength she had? Where did it come from? David looked up into the blue sky and spoke: “Dear God: I’ve been told you are always with me and will teach me,” Now David’s voice rose by the force of all the emotions raging within him, “So, what’s the Point?” David took a deep breath, looked quickly around to see if anyone had heard him and chuckled at himself and the absurdity of standing outside a memorial service and asking, “What’s the point?” He felt alone. Alone with only the faces of his patients past, the faces of death manifest. And, yet, not alone, somehow knowing his question had been heard.
David dried his face and forced himself to open the door of the gym auditorium and return to his seat. “This paramedic would be there to help the hurting.” Paramedics weren’t allowed to bleed or hurt, only to help others. He would help others. His mask was firmly in place. No more tears, he thought as he returned to his seat beside Jonathan.
The service had already begun. The audience was quiet except for the muffled cries from the observers. The minister spoke of the obvious sadness and loss, then said, “Choice. We all have the right to make our own choices. People can warn us, and God can warn us, but it is our choice. Do we ever stop to think that the consequences are not our choice? We choose, but the consequences are what? Random ‘luck’ or just ‘bad luck.’? We have lost our friends. Three of our own have died from the evil of drugs? They chose to have a good time. They did not choose to die. We don’t need to be angry at them any more than we judge ourselves for the choices and risks we take. We just need to learn from their mistake. And, in honor of that lesson, choose more wisely then they…” His message continued and clearly, it was intended to bring comfort and to foster change. However, the grief within the crowd was so tangible and the heartbreak so deafening, David doubted the words would have any lasting impact. Depression wrapped around him, and he found little reason to hope. David sighed and silently wondered why he had come to this memorial service. His attention shifted to watching the crowd for any sign of danger or physical distress.
When the memorial ended, many of the teenagers stood in line to walk by the display set up for each of the dead teenagers. There were pictures and trophies, and a table to leave flowers or gifts. David and Jonathan looked at each other. Without a word, they walked to the front and watched from the side. Experience told them both that their services were going to be needed.
