Razed, page 7
The applause that rose, surely for Bella and her father’s dancing then my horrendous playing, hurt my ears. My skin burned and felt stretched too tight.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Bodhi said.
I stared up at him, blinked, and then looked around. We stood in the middle of a floor with others dancing around us, but I had no memory of moving there. No memory of his approach. Nor of returning my viola and bow to the case.
Fuck. That was not a good sign.
“Every time I worked my arm free, she latched on again. I thought it best not to make a scene.”
“No,” I muttered. “Wouldn’t want to cause a scene.”
“Don’t be angry,” he whispered into my hair. His lips glanced over my temple.
Under the weight of his hand, my shoulder blazed with an insufferable heat. My skin crawled and itched the way it did before fur flooded through my pours. The cacophony of sounds made it difficult to focus, but I caught a nod from Bodhi to the DJ. The beginning bars of Unthinkable flowed from the speakers.
Our song.
I clung to the music. Desperate to hold onto my human self, even as my grip loosened, and my wolf’s tightened. Time slipped. Alicia Key’s voice crooned on the chorus, and Bodhi no longer towered over me but knelt in front of me.
I squeezed my eyes shut but I couldn’t stop it. The change rippled through my body and seeped into my vision. Vibrant colors melded into muted tones that resembled an antique photo. I knew the color of my eyes changed to golden yellow.
Cannot stop it, my wolf growled with as much panic as I felt. She wasn’t pushing out. She wasn’t urging the change... she fought it too.
“Ace?”
“No...” I snapped.
“You... What?”
Bodhi stood. My legs buckled when I tried to push away, but he caught me before I hit the floor. Lifting me into his arms, he cradled me to him, but it was too much. His body heat, too hot.
I curled inward. My stomach twisted in pain, and my entire body quivered. Bodhi had to feel it, but could everyone else see my flesh move in a wave over my muscles and bones? They must have. Around us murmurs increased in volume and quantity, but I couldn’t understand what they said. My mind refused to focus, or maybe my brain stopped translating their sounds to words.
“Hold onto me,” he whispered as we moved.
“What’s wrong with her?” Bella asked. Her voice closer, more intimate than the distant whispers.
“I don’t know but I need to get her out of here.”
“There are private rooms.”
Bella’s fingers grazing my forehead caused me to flinch and turn away. Burying my face into the shoulder of Bodhi’s jacket. Everything hurt. Being held hurt, but the skin-on-skin contact Bella offered, created agonizing pain.
“Hold on, Ace. I’ve got you.”
“What in the hell is going on?”
“Not now, mother.”
We moved, or Bodhi moved with me to seek out the private rooms. To get me away from prying eyes, but I needed something else. If I couldn’t hold back the change, another room in a building would only bring confinement, not relief.
“Outside.” I spoke. The one word growled out through gritted teeth.
“No, Bella, stay here. She doesn’t need an audience.” Bodhi spoke in a hushed voice.
“I want to help.”
“Then keep everyone busy. Cut the cake.” He instructed.
I pressed my eyes closed and sang This Little Tea Pot on repeat in my head, but the mantra that always halted the change in the past failed me. Bodhi barked orders for people to move, but I kept my eyes closed until the cold February air caressed my face.
“Put me down. Please. It’s too hot. Put me down.”
Bodhi hesitated. “There aren’t any chairs.”
“In the snow. Put me in the snow.”
He sat me on some steps. The cold should have helped. As the snow saturated the thin material of my dress, the cold had the same effect as my musical mantra. The firestorm engulfed bone and muscle and boiled through my blood.
“What should I do?” He asked.
“I can’t... control it.”
Bodhi knelt behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve got you,” he murmured. “It’s okay, Ace. I’ve got you.”
I curled my fingers around his forearms and tried to focus on his scent, his heartbeat, and his voice. The strength of his arms. His humanity, but I doubled over in agony. Why did it hurt so bad? Changing into my wolf felt binding, not unlike slipping on tight leather pants, but it never hurt. Something brutally clenched and wrenched my stomach. My wolf meant to claw her way out.
“Let me go!”
When Bodhi refused to release me, I twisted and yanked away until I managed to wrangle my body free from his.
“Ace.”
I held my hand up to stay his advance. I parted my lips to speak, but my tongue was already flattened, and thinned out to the point of being unable to properly form words. I wanted to taste his flesh. To rip his veins open and feel his blood on my face, between my hands, and fingers.
He stepped forward and I shoved him back. Horrified at the thoughts in my head. My fingers swelled and thickened, on their way to claws. I bolted. The sharp heels of my shoes sank into the snow of the golf course enough to impede my speed, but not enough for Bodhi to catch me.
“Amina!”
I sprinted for the tree line. My lengthening strides exceeded the give of the dress and forced a rip along the seams. The second ripple of the shift hit me the same time I crossed into the canopy of the trees. I didn’t know if the foliage led to a forest, or simply the tree line between another property. In that moment it didn’t matter.
Bodhi didn’t follow me. He could have. An infant could have followed the trail, but he didn’t. Good sense or fear kept him at the country club. I stumbled deeper before another spasm collapsed me onto the ground. I turned my head and released a muffled scream into the snow.
My back arched and then bowed.
I panted through a mouth hung open and pain so severe it struck me mute.
Unable to stop it, my body underwent a slow, and agonizingly brutal shift.
5 – Beto
“Leaving doesn’t feel right.”
I pulled my sister into a hug and planted a kiss to the top of her head. “Missing your flight isn’t going to bring her back any sooner.”
“No, but it’s the difference between a good friend, and a selfish bitch.”
I raised two fingers and motioned Adam forward. Our parents’ butler, Daniel, took the cue and picked up both suitcases, loading them into the trunk of the limo. Bella pulled out of the hug. Her brow wrinkled with a pained expression.
“Come on babe.” Adam placed both hands on her shoulder after he squeezed mine. He gently but inarguably urged Bella out of the front door, to where Daniel waited by the open back door of the limo.
“What kind of friend gets on a plane to Tahiti?” Bella protested.
“One that has a honeymoon to start,” replied mother.
Her and dad took turned hugging and kissing their youngest child. I took the opportunity to retreat inside and loosened the top two buttons on my shirt. I headed back to Hayfield Manor shortly after Ace’s scene, on the hopes she returned there. In truth, I needed to escape the area before the gossipmongers picked up steam. While the rest of the wedding party saw the newlyweds off, I headed into the kitchen where I draped my jacket on the back of a barstool chair.
I rummaged around and removed Ace’s phone from the interior pocket. It took a minute to remember the passcode she’d given me over a year ago, and three tries to get the sequence of numbers right. On the third try the device dropped from my trembling fingers and clattered onto the granite countertop of the island.
“How are you holding up?” Will asked, joining me in the kitchen.
I nodded in the direction he came from and asked, “What were they saying?”
He remained behind with the others, returning in the limo with everyone else. With two hours separating their arrival at Hayfield Manor from mine, I assumed mother used her crowd controlling charm to make it seem like someone changing into a werewolf, was a normal wedding occurrence.
“None of it matters.” Will answered.
“That bad, huh?” I asked.
I picked up her phone, only to immediately put it back down. Why did I unlock it? Every time I tried to focus my thoughts, they returned to the moments before Ace took off for the trees. The way her skin moved under my touch. Allowing my thoughts to linger on it threatened to make me physically ill again.
I needed to get out of my head, so I focused on the external. I listened to the front door closing, followed by the sound of various heels on the marble floor. When it became evident all steps led away from the kitchen for the moment, I dropped the façade of being cool and collected and came undone.
“I can’t stop my hands from shaking.” I confessed.
“That’s to be expected,” Will stated and gestured for me to sit at one of the kitchen stools. “Being that close to a changing werewolf has that effect on humans.”
Once I was seated, he pulled my lower eyelids down one at a time. Seeing nothing interesting, he moved on, covering the pulse in my left wrist with his fingers.
“What are you doing?” I finally asked, even though it was obvious.
“Just giving a quick check to make sure your vitals are normal.”
“I need to be doing something to find, Ace. She could be in danger. She could be hurt.”
“She could be a lot of things,” Will stated. “But what are you going to do, Beto? Run through the woods screaming her name?”
He backed off and crossed his arms over his chest. He no longer actively examined me, but the way he stared at me let me know on some level, he remained on notice.
“I’m fine,” I assured him. Neither of us believed me.
“Your heartbeat is still faster than normal, probably because your adrenaline hasn’t abated completely.”
“Should I be worried?”
Will shook his head. “Not about that. It’s to be expected.”
I rubbed my hands over my face and exhaled. I tried to think of some quippy reply but drew a complete blank. The only thing I could focus clearly on was Ace. Everything else felt like a blurred background on a video call. Was I too worried, or not worried enough?
I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Fold them? Shove them into my pockets? Sitting there in the kitchen the ridiculous thoughts passed through my head. If I smoked, I would have become a chimney in the last couple hours.
I glanced over at Will and nodded. “That wasn’t normal. Was it?”
He pressed his lips together and remained thoughtfully silent before he answered.
“I’ve seen Dorian change once. Although I don’t remember much about it. I think there’s some type of memory hole that happens. I remember it looked painful. Dorian described it like cracking your knuckles, but I think he said that so I didn’t freak out.” He raised both eyebrows and shrugged apologetically. “Was that your first time?”
I nodded and shuddered at the memory. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more terrified in my life.
“It’s the smell.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“The smell,” Will repeated. “A werewolf is most vulnerable during a change, so their bodies give off these pheromones when they shift that insight fear.”
“How do you know that?”
“Dorian warned me before he shifted in front of me for the first time.”
I smoothed my right hand over my face again and looked to the phone on the countertop.
“I’ve never seen her change before today.” I confessed.
“Have you ever asked?”
“Did you?” I challenged.
Will sat back. His hesitation was all the answer I needed.
“He offered,” I concluded.
“When things between us progressed to exclusivity, he wanted to make sure I could handle it.”
Well damn. Until that moment I assumed Ace’s reluctance, hell outright refusal to talk about her werewolf side, was typical of all werewolves. Learned behavior necessary for survival prior to The Unmasking.
“Maybe it just takes her a while to open up.”
“We’ve been dating for over two years.” I pointed out.
“Everyone is different,” Will stated. “And from what Dorian has told me, she’s had it pretty rough.”
“What’s he told you?”
“There’s the werewolf that attacked her and her mother when she was a child. Then the massacre in Germany. Nothing you haven’t already told me, or I read online.”
At least he didn’t know more about my own girlfriend than I did.
“You know, could be she feels like she’s protecting you by not bringing you into that side of her life. Or...”
When nothing else followed I looked over at Will. “What?”
Our eyes locked. I knew before he opened his mouth, I wouldn’t like the words that came out.
“Or maybe she was waiting for you to ask, you know? Show some interest, or curiosity.”
I scoffed in outward dismissal of his words. Internally, they carried weight. We talked about the supernatural. We discussed my cases ad nauseam, but we never discussed werewolves specifically. Was I a horrible boyfriend?
I picked up my jacket from the back of the chair and slipped it on. I needed to do something other than stand in the warmth of my parents’ home, uncertain what to do with my thumbs and the rest of my fingers. I used to think waiting for a jury to come back with a verdict was the worst wait ever.
“I should have followed her,” I muttered.
“Don’t be absurd. What good would that have done?” mother said.
She entered the kitchen followed closely by father, with their lips pressed together in matching thin lines. The creases around father’s eyes made him look tired, while mother’s eyes blazed with fire. She’d been spoiling for a fight since Ace took off, but etiquette prevented her from causing more of a scene. In their home away from prying eyes, I had a sneaking suspicion the gloves where about to come off.
“Not to mention dangerous. It’s no telling what she would have been capable of doing in her... condition.”
“Ace wouldn’t hurt me.” I spoke the words with feigned confidence.
Mother placed her hand on the table and glared an accusation at me. “Would you stop making excuses for that girl?”
“I’ll stop defending her, when you stop attacking her.”
Her mouth gaped like I’d just insulted her. “Now this is my fault?”
“This is not about you, mother.”
From the corner of my eye, I sensed the movement of Will exiting the kitchen. Retreating out of the line of fire.
“Blanca,” Father began and lighted a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “There’s no sense in getting worked up.”
“You cannot be serious,” mother replied. “You saw what happened.” She turned and pointed an accusing finger at me. “I warned you she was nothing but trouble. I practically predicted something like this would happen, I just hoped it would be less public. She ruined your sister’s wedding. All my hard work. All my planning, and the social event of the year will be remembered as the time that girl wolfed out.”
“Unbelievable,” I muttered under my breath, but in honesty, it was very believable. Mother turned being a victim into a full-time job, for which she constantly put in overtime.
“Beto.” Father continued once I turned around and gave him my full attention. “How long are we supposed to wait before we call the police?”
“And tell them what?” I asked. “That my werewolf girlfriend changed into a wolf?” I shook my head and moved to the back door. Night turned the glass into a mirror.
“Has this happened before?”
I glared at my father reflection.
“It’s an innocent question,” he assured me.
“It’s a valid question,” mother added.
I took in a breath and exhaled it. My shoulders slumped in defeat. I couldn’t answer my father’s question. Not with any real surety. What if she hurt someone? Shaking my head kept the thought from sprouting roots in my mind. I raised my watch and frowned at the dial. The little hand closed in on ten o’clock.
“If she’s not back on the hour I’ll call her aunt.”
If anyone knew what to do, it would be Gisselle. I just hoped I hadn’t already waited too long.
“If she does come back, I do not want her in this house. There’s no telling what she might do.”
Mother’s words were enough to propel me outside onto the back patio. I couldn’t remain civil. Not with her insults, and passive-aggressive statements.
I shoved my hands into my pockets and exhaled. My breath became visible in the cold. Meanwhile, I failed at convincing myself not to worry. That there was nothing in the area that could come close to harming her. It worked until the former cop’s voice in the back of my head reminded me just because Lake Geneva didn’t have a high volume of supernatural incidents reported, didn’t mean the area lacked supernatural creatures.
In my pocket, my fingers closed over the ring I tried to give Ace earlier. I pulled it out and studied it under the moonlight. Had I caused this? She’d been agitated all day, but she held it together. Right up to the moment of my proposal. Behind me, someone cleared their throat. I turned and found Pilar standing there. Her eyes flickered down to the ring, which I promptly slipped back inside my pocket.
“Sorry,” she stated softly. “I didn’t want to startle you.”
She offered an uncertain smile that caused me to refocus my attention to the trees behind the house. I didn’t quite understand why. Maybe it was because her smile was the first thing I fell in love with. More than likely, I rejected the sight of her smile because it was the one thing, I missed the most about her that I hadn’t quite put behind me. Enjoying it made me feel disloyal to Ace, especially at that moment.
