Head Over Hooves: Boys of the Bayou Gone Wild, page 6
“I’ve grown up! I’ve changed!” Owen said.
Kennedy gave him a look. “As long as I have breath in my body, you will not be putting on red and white fur and potentially terrorizing children.”
Paige leaned in. “My God. What did you do?”
Drew blew out a relieved breath. Yes. He needed this story. And maybe a dozen more about these people growing up together down here.
“Seventeen years ago you were a kid too,” Paige said to Owen.
Owen shifted on his chair. “It was just a dumb prank.”
“It was a mean, horrible, gruesome lie,” Kennedy declared.
“Gruesome?” Paige repeated.
“It’s not my fault Kennedy’s always had a crazy imagination,” Owen said.
“That imagination is exactly why you did it!” Kennedy exclaimed.
“But it only took him about three minutes to realize he’d fucked up,” Josh interjected. “He did feel bad when he realized you were actually freaking out and he’d gone too far.”
“What did you do?” It was Maddie that asked now. Her eyes were wide as she looked at her husband. “I don’t know this story.”
Owen shifted uncomfortably again.
“Tell her,” Sawyer said, crossing his arms.
“It doesn’t matter that Sawyer and Josh beat my ass for it?” Owen asked Kennedy.
“Nope.”
Owen looked at Bennett. “Dude. You’d better never cross her. This girl can hold a grudge.”
Bennett nodded. “Good thing her mean side turns me on.”
Kennedy gave him a grin.
Owen just shook his head.
Maddie pinched his side. “What. Did. You. Do?”
Drew barely resisted adding, “Yeah, come on, man.”
“I might have thought it would be funny to…” Owen shifted and cleared his throat. “Change up…the Santa story a little.”
Maddie’s eyebrows rose. “Oh no. What did you tell her?”
Kennedy wasn’t done though. “Oh, it wasn’t just telling of the story, was it Owen?” Kennedy asked. “There was showing too.”
“Fine.” Owen sighed. “You know the story of Papa Noel and how he drives a boat on the bayou pulled by eight alligators instead of a sleigh with reindeer…”
“Of course,” Maddie said.
Owen nodded. “Well, so that year Kennedy made alligator shaped cookies for Santa. Like frosted sugar cookies.”
“They were really cute,” Kennedy said. “Cora and I worked hard on those.”
Owen rolled his eyes. “Well, I told her that the alligators were gonna be pissed. They weren’t gonna eat cookies that looked like them ‘cuz that was just wrong and they were gonna have to go hungry at our house and were probably gonna leave us crappy presents.”
“Uh-huh. And?” Maddie had narrowed her eyes.
Sawyer and Josh were sitting back, clearly enjoying Owen having to relive whatever trouble he’d gotten into. Kennedy looked like she was just as mad seventeen years later.
Drew kept eating. Dinner and a show. Ellie’s place was great, even if he wasn’t going to hook-up with a hot Cajun girl tonight.
“So…she wouldn’t make anymore cookies,” Owen went on, clearly realizing he wasn’t getting out of telling this story.
“And you wanted more cookies?” Maddie asked.
“Well, yeah. She made sugar cookies for Santa. Everyone knows her hazelnut thingies are the best. Even back then.”
“Oh my God, you did all of that because I didn’t make you the cookies you wanted?” Kennedy demanded.
Owen shrugged.
“He dragged me out of bed at three a.m. telling me there’d been a terrible accident,” Kennedy told the table, her cheeks pink, clearly with anger. “He took me down to the old wooden dock off the bayou where we fished and swam and showed me a single black boot that was all covered in mud and a ripped piece of red and white fur, like from Santa’s coat.”
“Owen told her that the alligators hadn’t liked the cookies, so they’d eaten Papa Noel instead,” Sawyer said. “Said it happened every so many years on the bayou and that Papa Noel got replaced so not to worry, but that next year she should make better cookies.”
Everyone at the table sat in silence for three full seconds. Then they all pivoted to look at Owen as one.
He held up his hands in surrender. “Let us just remember for a moment that I was twelve. And a little shit. Until I was like…thirty-five. Just ask Ellie.” He pointed at his grandmother.
“Absolutely true,” Ellie confirmed with a nod.
“You’re not thirty-five even now,” Sawyer pointed out.
“Exactly,” Owen said. “I’m a dumbass. Still. But definitely seventeen years ago.”
“Owen. Landry. You’re. Such. A. Jerk.” Maddie punctuated each word with a punch to his arm.
He rubbed the spot when she was done. “I know. Okay? I know. I’ve apologized a million times.”
“Twice. You’ve apologized twice,” Kennedy said.
“But I have apologized.”
“And you are out of the running for Santa in this case. And if anyone ever lets you do it in the future, I will picket in front of where you’re sitting with the little kids with big signs calling you a Santa murderer with photos of Santa’s boot covered in blood,” Kennedy told him.
“See.” Owen pointed at her. “That is all her imagination. There was no blood!”
“I was ten. It was the middle of the night! I thought Santa had been eaten by alligators practically in my backyard. And I never put sugar cookies out for Santa again after that!”
Owen made the mistake of smiling when he said, “I know.”
Maddie punched him again. “You’re not getting any ‘cookies’ from me tonight. If you know what I mean.”
Owen looked at her. Then sighed. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
Kennedy looked very smug at that.
“Well, okay then. Owen is out of the running,” Zeke said, raising his voice slightly as he rubbed the baby’s back. “But the rest of us have good cases to make.”
“You really have been talking about this?” Kennedy asked. “You all want to do this?”
Zeke looked at his older brother, Fletcher, who was sitting across the table from him. “Well, yeah. Like, Fletcher would be an awesome Santa. He's a teacher and is amazing with little kids. They all love him. He’d probably be the best at it.”
Kennedy nodded. “I actually was thinking about Fletcher.”
Zeke sat up straighter. “Oh, come on. Fletcher’s too obvious.”
Kennedy laughed and shook her head. “You were just telling me he’d be perfect.”
“Well, he’d make a great Santa, but all the kids would guess it was him. They all know him too well. Don’t let Fletcher ruin the magic of Christmas for all the kids in this town.”
“So why were you making the case for him?” Kennedy asked.
“It was an example. We’ve been talking about all of our pros and cons for days. Come on, you have to at least listen to us.”
Kennedy sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. She looked at the people gathered around the tables.
“Okay, fine. You can each make your case. Who wants to go first?”
Drew finished off his gumbo and sweet tea and sat back to watch this, feeling a strange sense of amusement and satisfaction that he couldn’t explain. He didn’t know these people, yet he was already drawn in by their camaraderie and the fun-loving spirit that seemed palpable in the air. Even when they were bickering and talking about Santa being eaten by alligators and reminiscing about terrorizing one another as children. Maybe because of that. A family that could endear themselves to a near-stranger with stories like that, had a special something.
Zeke spoke up first and Drew got the impression that was common. He could tell he would know all of these people much better when he walked out of here tonight.
“I think I would be the best Santa.” Zeke rubbed his hand up and down his baby’s back as the little one fussed. “Santa is all about the kids. Childlike wonder. The fun and magic of Christmas. And let's be honest, no one is more childlike than I am.”
Everyone around the table laughed and Jill nodded. “Very good point.”
Zeke gave her a grin. “Plus I'm a dad now,” Zeke said. “I’m totally tapped into the meaning of Christmas for kids.”
“Well, Josh would be awesome at it, too,” Tori Kramer—well, now Landry, Drew corrected—said.
She was holding a little girl, older than the twins but not what Drew would call a toddler.
“That's true,” Kennedy said. “Do you want to make a case for Josh?”
The man next to Tori, shook his head. “We all know I would be amazing at it. I’m sweet, patient, kind, charming…”
A wadded up napkin hit him in the cheek. Drew wasn’t sure where it had come from.
Josh laughed. “But I'm all about making this Christmas special for Ella now that she’s old enough to do some fun stuff.” He looked at the baby in Tori's arms with a soft smile. “If you guys need any help getting it set up and stuff, I'm happy to pitch in. But I just want to hang out at home this Christmas with Ella and Tori.”
Everyone nodded their understanding and Kennedy shrugged. “Okay, so no Owen and no Josh. Is it just Zeke?”
“I’d do it, of course,” Mitch said.
“Oh, you would be an awesome Santa,” Paige said. “You're easily the nicest.”
Drew waited for someone to protest her statement. But no one did. Apparently, that was just a well-known fact.
“Mitch is kind, patient, funny, and sweet.” Paige propped her chin on her hand and gazed at her boyfriend.
Drew almost laughed. Paige Asher had been one of the most eligible bachelorettes in Appleby, Iowa for a long time. She’d been proposed to five times back in Iowa. Yep, five. If someone had told him he would ever see Paige look at a man the way she was looking at Mitch Landry, Drew would have called bullshit.
“He would also take the job seriously and would show up on time for all of his shifts, and wouldn’t be sleep deprived because of being up in the night with twins—” She gave Zeke a sympathetic look.
Kennedy was nodding. “Okay, so the sleep deprivation and the need to be at home to help Jill with the twins is not a terrible point,” she said to Zeke.
“Man, using my babies against me?” Zeke shook his head. “Not fair.”
“But you do have a lot going on,” Mitch said.
“And Josh just wants a sweet family Christmas with his girls. Fletcher might get outed by the kids since they all know him. So who else is in this ‘competition’?” Kennedy put air quotes around competition.
“Well, definitely not Griffin,” Zeke laughed. “We’d never keep the goats away from Santa’s Village.”
Paige laughed and looked at Drew. “One of the goats is madly in love with Griffin.” She pointed down the table to the quiet, dark-haired man sitting next to Charlie. “Whenever he's around, she breaks out of her pen to be with him. The rest of the goats then follow her and we end up with the whole herd following him around like an entourage.”
Drew chuckled. “And I’ve already met some of your goats. Pretty hard to ignore them.”
“You have no idea,” Griffin muttered.
“Plus Griffin's way too grumpy to be Santa,” Charlie said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “Or at least that’s what he’d like for you all to believe. So let’s just go with that.”
The man didn't look offended nor did he dispute her comment.
“Well, if grumpy takes a guy out of the running, then Knox is definitely off the list,” Kennedy said.
Paige looked at Drew again. “Knox is our city manager and Kennedy's right-hand man. Definitely grumpy, especially when it comes to chaotic events at the petting zoo. Or really anything having to do with the petting zoo at all.”
“Well, obviously I would be the best one at it,” Leo said as he brought a huge basket of cornbread muffins to the table and set it in the middle.
“You don't automatically get picked just because you're the old man with the gray beard,” Owen said.
“No, I figure I'll get picked because I'm Kennedy's favorite,” Leo said, shooting his granddaughter a grin.
“It's true. If Leo wants to do it, I'll probably give it to him,” Kennedy said.
“What if I want to do it?” Bennett asked from her other side.
She gave him a smile. “You want to be Santa?”
“I'm just saying. Hypothetically, if you had to pick between me and Leo, who would you pick?”
Kennedy leaned over and patted Bennett's knee. “You really shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to.”
Bennett rolled his eyes and chuckled.
“Don’t worry, boy, I’m gonna die one of these days. You’ll have a few good years as her favorite,” Leo said.
Bennett gave the older man a grin. “You know I consider it a compliment to even be number two on the list behind you.”
“And that’s why you get to do my eulogy,” Leo told him.
That clearly surprised, and touched, Bennett. “It would be my honor.”
Paige turned wide eyes to Drew. “Welcome to my new world. Where we can talk about Santa murders, sweet babies at Christmas, and the future eulogies of our beloved older generation all over a typical weekday dinner.”
Drew laughed out loud. “I’m more entertained than I’ve been in a very long time.”
“If only we were trying to entertain the new guy and not just totally being our regular selves,” Paige said.
“So, now I’ve got Leo, and maybe Bennett?” Kennedy asked. “We’ve got reasons that Owen, Josh, Zeke, Fletcher, Griffin, and Knox are nos.”
“Come on, Ken, you know I'm gonna do it.”
Everyone turned to look at Sawyer. Most of them looked surprised, though a couple looked amused.
Kennedy in particular had a huge smile on her face when she said, “Finally. I was going to make you do it, but I appreciate you volunteering.”
The big guy nodded.
“Wait…seriously?” Owen asked. “You? You’re almost as grumpy as Griffin.”
Sawyer shook his head. “We all know that I'm great with kids. I can handle the schedule, no problem. And I'll take it completely seriously. These kids are coming to Santa with legitimate concerns and they need someone to hear them out.”
Owen snorted. “Legitimate concerns? It's not like they're going to confession with their priest or bringing grievances to the city council. You make it sound like they're coming in for psychotherapy or something.”
“Kids think Santa knows everything about them,” Sawyer said. “It's important for them to think that he's been paying attention, knows them personally, and is listening. I'll have Fletcher fill me in on the kids that he knows and I'll have Ellie fill me in on the kids that Fletcher doesn’t. I'll get an earpiece and Juliet will be talking in my ear, feeding me details about each kid as they come up to sit on my lap. This will be a serious, caring, and important endeavor.”
They were all staring at him with wide eyes.
Josh broke the silence. “Stella and Cooper Trahan have gotten to you.”
Sawyer nodded. “If Stella sits on Santa’s lap, you can guarantee that guy better be ready to answer a million questions while she tries to determine if he’s legit.”
Drew shot a look at Paige.
“Their dad, Gabe, is a good friend. They come down from New Orleans for tours all the time. Stella is going to take over the swamp boat tour company someday. She and Cooper take everything very seriously. And Sawyer is their favorite.”
Gabe. He must be the guy who owned the bar where Rory used to work. The one who’d suggested she open her salon in Autre. So, Gabe had kids. And they were all obviously very close to the Landrys. Drew couldn’t help but smile at how it all intersected.
Rory would love this big dinner and their stories from their childhood and how seriously Sawyer is going to take being Santa.
He couldn’t avoid the thought. Or the pang of regret that she wasn’t here right now to witness it all.
You aren’t going to help her with the village and you’re definitely not going to help her build relationships with this family so she feels like she belongs here. Knock it off. You’re not her counselor or life coach or mother or boyfriend.
He stubbornly ignored the part that sounded something like, but you could be that the voice in his head tacked onto the end of all of that.
Juliet leaned over and put her head on Sawyer’s shoulder. “I will absolutely help you be the best Santa this town has ever had.”
Charlie leaned in. “I think that it's amazing that you want to make this a big deal and make it really special for the kids. Sawyer and Juliet, if you're willing to do that, then we will all pitch in to get information about all of the kids who are coming to the party and ask their parents and guardians some important questions so that we know something special about each of the kids and we can really make this something that they'll always remember.”
Sawyer looked pleased and Kennedy looked at Leo.
“Okay with you if he does this?” she asked her grandfather.
Leo smiled at Sawyer with a look that was clearly both love and pride. “Yep, it’s all his.”
Kennedy banged her spoon down on the end of the table like a gavel. “Okay, it’s decided. Sawyer is Santa.”
“Maybe we can have an adult Christmas party up here and we can have fun Santa here at Ellie's,” Owen said.
“And I suppose you think you’ll be fun Santa?” Josh asked.
Owen grinned. “Who would be a better fun Santa?”
“Let me tell you something about who will not be sitting on your lap anymore if you play ‘fun Santa’,” Maddie told him.
He stretched his arm along the back of her chair and pulled it closer. “You are more than enough woman for my lap, Madison.
She lifted her brows. “I don’t think that came out exactly the way you meant it too.”
He nodded. “No, really. You fill my lap and then some.”
Maddie shook her head. “You really just need to stop talking now.”
