Apocalyptic Pirates 5, page 6
“What’s up, guys, welcome to the grog,” he said in a strong Canadian accent. “Just doing my usual daily patrol in Flesherton in Grey County. For those of you who are new, my name is Flesherton Phil, and I make videos keeping you updated on the situation in Grey County, inspired of course by our friends The Good Pirates.”
“That’s us,” Dia said with her eyes wide.
“Did he say ‘welcome to the grog’?” Shannon queried.
“Yeah, you know, grog,” Letty said. “The thing that pirates and the British Royal Navy drank.”
“I thought the pirates drank rum,” Shannon said. “That’s what Captain Jack Sparrow drinks, isn’t it?”
“I think grog is like rum,” Ally offered.
“It’s watered down rum,” I explained. “Sometimes you can add a simple syrup and lime juice to it as well, that makes it much nicer.”
The women eyeballed me.
“What?” I said. “Liquor salesman, remember?”
“This is crazy, though,” Shannon said with her eyebrows knitted together in a frown. “These people are making copycat videos.”
“It does look like that, doesn’t it?” I shook my head. “This is weird. But I guess if something gets popular, then other people are going to want to try it as well.”
“You’re making it sound like a fad,” Letty protested. “This is way more than that.”
“Yeah, Drew, you’ve basically started a movement here,” Ally said.
“More than a movement,” Dia said. “You’ve gone viral.”
“I don’t know if I like that idea.” I clicked away from the video and scrolled further down my notifications.
“Why not?” Letty pressed.
“It’s just a big responsibility,” I replied. “It’s a lot to take in that there are millions of people listening to every word I say.”
“Yeah,” Dia acknowledged. “But you’re only saying what you would tell anyone. The fact that your audience has gotten bigger hasn’t changed any of the content you’re making.”
“‘My audience.’” I grimaced. “‘Content.’”
“You’re being too modest,” Ally said with a grin. “Most people would kill to get these kinds of numbers.”
“Most people aren’t busy trying to get to Hawaii.” I rolled my eyes, but I supposed that Ally was right. An audience this big– even if I cringed a bit to think about it like that– was a powerful tool.
I clicked on another video that had the same hashtag in the title. This opened with an older woman who must have been in her fifties standing in the middle of a huge field like a prairie. She wore a leather poncho, a wide-brimmed hat, and a bandolier that was absolutely bristling with knives.
“Hey, y’all,” she said. “This is Polly from Juniper Canyon in Crook County, Oregon. The sun is shinin’, the wind’s comin’ in strong from the east… Let’s go track some dragons.”
“Whoa,” Shannon breathed. “That woman is a badass.”
“She really looks like she knows what she’s doing,” I agreed.
Polly from Juniper Canyon had a more methodical approach than Flesherton Phil. She was clearly a person with a lot of wilderness experience, and she would occasionally stop to point out the signs that I’d come to recognize as indicators that there were dragons nearby, like broken-down trees and scratches in the earth. But she took it even further, and at one point in the video she bent down and started explaining some barely visible marks in the dirt that were dragon tracks.
“Now, y’see here,” she explained as she traced the outline in the ground with her finger. “This is the shape of the foot, and here you can just about see where the claws of the front and back toes leave marks in the ground. Now we know that these mothers ain’t too good at flying for long distances, and from what I’ve seen of the dragons in these parts, they seem to mostly get around by walking. Now some of y’all have been asking me, Polly, how can I tell if the tracks I see belong to a dragon or something else? Well, the first clue is in the size. If you see a print as big as your two handspans, you know you probably got a dragon nearby. Second thing is the tail. Ain’t nothing around I know of that drags its tail behind like a dragon does.”
“Damn, she really knows her stuff,” I said.
“Maybe we should send a message and ask if she wants to join us on the yacht,” Shannon said with a teasing grin.
“Yeah, Drew,” Dia joined in. “Are you tired of us already? You want an older girlfriend now, is that it?”
“No!” I stuttered. “I just think she’s very capable.”
“Oh, right, capable.” Dia winked at me, and I rolled my eyes at her teasing.
“This is really exciting, though!” Ally said. “So many people are following Drew’s example and trying to spread the word about what’s really going on!”
“It is pretty special,” I admitted. “I had no idea that the videos would take off in the way they have. And I really didn’t think anyone would copy us, either.”
“Think what this could lead to,” Shannon mused. “Say the American government tries to pull another stunt like the military strike against the nests. We still don’t know for sure what happened there. But if more people start making videos detailing what’s really happening with the situation in their hometowns, there’s no way to cover up anything shady, if that is what’s happening.”
“Everyone would know the truth,” Dia agreed.
“That’s pretty damn awesome,” Letty said.
“Drew?” Ally pushed. “You don’t seem that excited about this.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about it all,” I replied. “I’m trying to be honest rather than pessimistic, but I have to think about how this is going to affect us as well as how it might affect the rest of the world. I don’t want this if it has a negative impact on your safety. What if this puts us in danger?”
Ally’s face softened. She pushed my hair back from my face and softly kissed my forehead.
“I love how you’re always looking out for us,” she whispered.
I looked into her lovely, light-green eyes. Her brown eyelashes fluttered, and she bit down on her plump flower-pink lower lip. I could see the love and pride shining out of her face, and it sent tingles running all through my body and firmed my resolve into an iron will.
“I have to,” I responded. “I need you guys to be safe.”
“Surely these videos aren’t going to be dangerous, though?” Ally queried. “If anything, wouldn’t they just help us become more popular? People will know who we are, and they’ll want to help us, like Rosa and Simon back at the locks.”
“That’s the best-case scenario,” I pointed out. “What’s the worst-case?”
“Someone knows who we are and isn’t a fan,” Shannon realized.
“Right,” I said. “And with more people potentially recognizing us, it’s going to get more and more difficult to keep a low profile. And that’s going to work against us if things ever end up going south.”
“They shouldn’t go south, though, will they?” Dia pushed. “People love the videos.”
“For now,” I acknowledged. “But we saw this happen even before the apocalypse. How many celebrities or internet personalities were really popular and then suddenly found themselves in the shit? Tastes change, and it only takes one troll, or weirdo, or hater to build a following of people just like them.”
“That’s right,” Shannon said with a grimace. “I reckon some people would get a real kick out of trying to bring the channel down, just out of spite.”
“Exactly.” I nodded. “And that’s just the everyday Joes. We’ve posted some sensitive material, and that could potentially piss off a lot of people higher up on the food chain. What if we run into more news like the Coast Guard video? We’re basically whistleblowers, and that’s a dangerous thing to be.”
“What are you saying, Drew?” Letty asked.
“I want to know what you guys think.” I looked around at them all. “What if we have to choose between posting the truth and prioritizing our safety? If you feel that the risks are too high to keep on filming, I’ll stop.”
“We’ve already had this conversation,” Shannon pointed out. “We already agreed that we thought it was best to continue.”
“Yeah, I know,” I replied. “But that was a while ago. You could have changed your minds considering how much the channel has blown up. Besides, there’s a time limit on consenting to things. I want to check in and make sure you guys are still all okay with the videos going ahead.”
“Aw, Drew, that’s real sweet of you.” Letty smiled and squeezed my arm.
“Yeah, Drew,” Dia echoed. “Thank you.”
“Hey, I don’t need a medal for acknowledging that your feelings matter.” I raised my eyebrows. “We’re a democracy on this boat. The videos are a huge thing now, and we’re getting more and more subscribers every day. You’d be crazy not to be worried about how all this could affect you.”
The women looked at each other.
Then Dia shrugged.
“I know you already think I’m crazy,” she said. “But I say we keep posting the videos.”
“I’m not crazy,” Letty said in a dignified voice. “But I agree with Dia.”
“Same.” Shannon nodded. “My mind hasn’t changed.”
“Ally?” I asked.
The redhead folded her arms. She was silent for a moment, and I looked at her intensely. The whole vote hinged on the next words to come out of her mouth. But then she sighed and smiled.
“What the hell,” she said. “We’ve already been attacked by a crocodile. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Yay!” Letty cheered. “The Good Pirates ride again!”
“I don’t think they ever stopped.” Ally rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.
“Are you guys one hundred percent certain about this?” I pressed. “There’s no shame in saying you’re not.”
“Yep.” Ally looked around at the others and then back to me. “I think we’re all agreed on this.”
“Yeah.” Dia nodded. “This feels like the right thing to do.”
“Everyone is so grateful about the videos,” Shannon said. “Think about how positive everyone’s been. Not just the guys at the locks, but all the hotel staff on San Andres as well. It feels too important to stop.”
“Okay.” I smiled. “I had a feeling you guys would be up for it. But all the same, I think if I film any more clips while we’re in the Canal, I’ll upload them later on once we’re well and truly out of here. That way we’re not giving away our location and telling any potential trolls exactly where to look.”
“Perfect.” Ally smiled at me and rested her head on my shoulder.
I loved the feeling of having her body so close to me, and I shifted my weight so I could put one arm around her slender waist while I closed down YouTube with my free hand. I was about to put my phone away when I decided to check the forum where previously I’d seen posts about selling dragon parts on the black market.
The forum was even more active than ever, and the quoted sums of money for various dragon ingredients were climbing higher and higher. And the post titles were getting outrageous:
$$$5 MIL FOR INTACT SCALES
$$$$$$$$$$$$$ TEETH??
SKIN SKIN SKIN
Every time I went on this forum, I came away feeling slimy. I didn’t know what it was about seeing so many posts debating the merits of claws over entrails, but there was something surreal about seeing people talk about dragons in such clinical terms. I knew that the dragons had healing powers. Hell, I’d witnessed the power of their blood firsthand. But to me, dragons were first and foremost a threat. They were monsters, and every interaction I’d ever had with them had boiled down to a very simple situation: kill or be killed.
But the forum was gaining members, and it was hard for me to wrap my head around how many people were now interested in dragons as a potential medical resource rather than a threat to be eliminated.
As I scrolled through the most recent topics, I noticed that a lot of the new posts had videos embedded in them.
I clicked on the most recent one. After waiting and waiting, the video finally loaded.
It showed an old woman standing in a kitchen. The camera was of a high enough quality to pick out the lines and scars on her face, and the light behind her shone on her silver hair. She was holding a glass of a liquid so dark it looked black, and for a moment I actually wondered if she was going to be drinking tar. But then she raised the glass, and the light shone through the liquid and turned it the color of rubies, and with a feeling of nausea, I realized it was a glass of dragon blood.
“Oh, that is disgusting,” Ally breathed.
The others leaned in to watch as the woman raised the glass to her mouth and began to drink. Her face contorted in disgust, and a dark dribble of blood ran down her chin and dropped onto her shirt.
“Gross,” Dia hissed.
The woman gulped and swallowed, and finally she put the glass down. She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and smiled, which revealed a few twisted teeth set in shrinking gums, now stained red with blood.
She mumbled something I couldn’t catch, and then the video ended.
None of the comments underneath the post were as freaked out as I was.
So did it work??
I really can’t believe that drinking the blood is the best way to go about it. Topical applications all the way.
This is so wasteful. Think about all the people who can’t afford to drink this much blood in one go – check your privilege, hun.
“This is unbelievably disgusting,” Shannon said. “I don’t think I would ever drink dragon blood.”
“Not even if you were desperate?” I raised my eyebrows. “What if traditional medicine failed you, and you were ready to try anything that might help?”
“Shit, Drew, I don’t know.” Shannon sighed. “It’s just so weird to think of dragons in that way. I spend all my time shooting them, not thinking about how I can drink their blood.”
“I know what you mean,” I said. “I was literally just thinking that. It’s kind of a headfuck having to think of dragons as something useful and not deadly.”
“What’s that one?” Dia pointed to the next video down.
I clicked on it.
This video opened with some insanely upbeat ukulele music. An animated logo faded in that read: Darla’s Darlin’ Dragon Makes. An overhead shot showed a crafting table with a tape measure, hot glue gun, beads, and ribbons strewn around in the background. A pair of hands entered the shot and began gesturing as the voiceover began.
“Hey guys!” the narrator chirped. “So today I wanted to show you a really quick and easy way to use your dragon scales. Now, I know a lot of you might have recently found some scales or bought some scales because you heard about their amazing healing properties, but maybe you’re not sure how to use them, or how to implement these scales into your everyday lifestyle, or you’re just looking for some inspiration. Well, don’t worry, guys, I got your back, because this craft is super easy and super quick. You only need a few supplies to make this adorable dragon scale necklace, and you can customize it with ribbons, and beads, and all kinds of cute charms to really make it your own. I like to play around with adding feathers and some of these cute seed bead charms, but you do what’s best for you, and you can make necklaces like this that can go with any outfit, any aesthetic, so you can rock your dragon scales while still staying true to your style. Just real quick before we begin, if you guys could hit that like button, subscribe, share this video with your friends, it would just help me out so much. I know we’re all feeling a bit weird with everything that’s going on at the moment, so just tap that subscribe button if you feel like getting some positivity and good vibes in your feed to break up your doom scrolling. Anyway, with all that being said, let’s jump right into the tutorial.”
“Oh, my god,” Shannon announced. “This is truly insane.”
“This literally feels like we’re in a Black Mirror episode,” Letty said.
“Dragon scale necklaces,” I said in disbelief. “What the fuck has happened to the people on this forum?”
“I reckon they’re all rich fucks living in mansions in Beverly Hills or something,” Dia said with a grim scowl on her face. “Or they’re in doomsday bunkers with nothing to do except make bullshit YouTube tutorials using dragon scales that normal people will never be able to afford. Or you know… risk their lives trying to get.”
“I know.” Ally grimaced. “This is sickening. One of those other posts was selling them for five thousand dollars per scale. Even if they do work, what kind of people are going to be able to afford to pay that? Especially now when most people are busy just trying to survive.”
“It’s disgusting.” I shook my head to try and quell the anger that was rising up inside me. “I shouldn’t be surprised that the apocalypse is no different to any other time in history. The rich survive while the everyday people barely manage to scrape by. It’s obscene, is what it is.”
I was too angry to watch any more crap from entitled, privileged people on the internet. I put my phone back in my pocket and pressed the tips of my fingers against my eyes. The weight of everything I’d just seen seemed to drag at my heart, and I heaved an enormous sigh that I hadn’t realized I had inside me.
Ally put a soft hand on the back of my neck and massaged the tense muscles in my shoulders.
“Drew, you should get some rest,” Shannon said. “We’re all tired, but you’ve been awake the longest out of all of us. Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “I took the first watch, and then we reached the Canal, so…”
“You must be exhausted,” Dia said with her eyes wide. “I’m wiped, and I managed to get a few hours of sleep.”
“It’s not so bad,” I insisted. “I can carry on.”
“No, Drew,” Letty said firmly. “You need to get some rest. You’re no good to us if you’re burned out.”
