Succubus Lord 16, page 2
I didn’t have any room for error, so I moved to blast each and every image on the wall with a shot of red Hellfire. As I did so, the engravings caught the flames and then roared to life as they were illuminated.
Sweat was now pouring out of every single pore on my skin. Even with Eclipse and Cupi helping out, the heat was nearly unbearable, and I knew I was going to pass out if I didn’t get out of here soon.
So, I took aim at the final engraving, hauled back, and then shot it with the red spell.
The second it roared to life, there was another groan of stone against stone, and I saw a sliver of light from the bottom of the door.
It was rising.
I quickly tossed out my purple shield once more and fell to my knees. Then I doubled over and panted like a dog as I tried to regain my strength, but I could feel the intensity of the fire still beating down on us.
Todd’s small figure was the first one under the door. As soon as he was on the other side, he grabbed the bottom of the rising stone and heaved with all his effort. The imp made a loud, strenuous grunting noise as he tried to make the door lift faster, but he didn’t have anywhere near the leverage or the strength.
That’s when Mirage sprang into action. The illusionist clapped her hands together, formed her green Hellfire into the shape of a large humanoid hand, and then slapped it on the bottom of the door. She grunted as she threw her fist into the air, and the hand followed.
The stone sparked and groaned as it was hoisted into the air by the glowing hand until finally, it slammed against the ceiling.
“Go!” I commanded the rest of my team, and they took off through the open door.
I slowly stood to my feet and then stomped forward through the entryway.
The second I was out of the entry room, the blazing inferno ceased.
Then all six of us plopped down on to the ground and leaned our tired bodies back against the wall.
“You guys did that every single time you came through here?” Cupi huffed.
“It wouldn’t be an issue for Lucifer,” Ziminiar explained. “He’s completely immune to those sorts of flames, so he could just stand there and light up the engravings while he was being blasted with no problems whatsoever.”
I shook my head at the thought, and then I turned to look down the corridor before us. As I did so, I noticed the dark hallway was populated by hundreds of pinprick-sized beams of natural light.
“Todd?” I chuckled in disbelief. “Check this out. You’re gonna love it.”
The imp took a gander down the hallway, and then his face lit up with excitement.
“Brooooooo,” he gasped, “is this the ancient equivalent of laser beams?”
“But how could a demon of Lucifer’s size possibly get through all those without activating the trap?” Mirage pondered. “Those beams are the size of a spider’s web, and they’re weaved together just as intricately.”
“That’s where Dolo came in,” Ziminiar spoke up. “I do remember he always sent his loyal servant through the hallway first, and then we were allowed to pass through safely.”
“So, a demon of Dolo’s size could make it through these things?” I pondered as I looked over at Todd. “I think we know who needs to pick up this one.”
“I totally agree, bro.” The imp nodded. “Cupi should do it. She’s totally the most flexible out of all of us, and I bet she could Catherine Zeta-Jones the shit outta those lasers.”
The room went silent as all eyes focused on Todd. The imp looked back and forth with confusion on his face for a moment, and then he quirked his head to the side.
“We were hoping it’d be somebody a bit… smaller?” Cupi suggested.
“Hold up there, my bodacious blonde,” Todd shot back. “The words ‘small’ and ‘The Toddster’ go together like peanut butter and glue. Unless you’re asking about the number of women I haven’t pleasured, then that’s totally ‘small.’”
“He just said somebody Dolo’s size could make it through there,” I pointed out. “Are you really gonna let that sorry excuse for an imp show you up?”
“Dolo ain’t an imp, Jakey,” Todd argued, “he’s just a regular ‘ol demon jabroni who thinks he’s cooler than he is. I hate dudes like that. Fucking poser.”
“Then maybe you should show us how much better you are and ‘Catherine Zeta-Jones’ these lasers?” Eclipse prodded, and Todd finally seemed to take the bait.
“Yeahhhhhh,” he mused as he rubbed at his goatee, “I can’t let fucking Dolo keep the title belt on this one. Oh, and for the record, Lizbeth? When a dude goes under the lasers, it’s called ‘Tom Cruise-ing’ it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Eclipse lied and rolled her eyes.
“The trick will be to not stay stationary for very long,” Cupi suggested. “As soon as you’ve figured out your path, don’t stop moving. And if you accidentally trigger one of those things, you really, realllly don’t want to stop moving.”
“You’re thinkin’ about it too much, Cupi,” Todd scoffed as he began to limber up with some arm stretches. “In my experience, it’s best to just charge in right away and then deal with the consequences as they come.”
“That’s a terrible--” Cupi began, but Todd was already heading toward the hall of light-lasers.
“Leeeeerooooooooy Jenkins!” the imp cackled as he ran.
Without breaking stride, Todd curled into a ball and rolled underneath the first few sets of beams. Then he popped out of the ball, used his momentum to propel himself against the nearby wall, and used it as a springboard to shoot up further into the air.
We watched with bated breath as Todd stuck his claws into the ceiling, swung like a spider-monkey to move himself forward, and then allowed himself to drop down toward the ground. As he fell, Todd twisted his tiny body so it contorted out of the way of the light beams. He hit the floor of the hallway, curled up into a ball once more, and rolled under the final set of triggers. Todd came out of his roll in a spread-eagle pose, which he held for a moment before he broke out into a victory dance.
“Eat the fattest of dicks, Dolo!” he laughed. “I didn’t even set off a single trigger! Not a one. How’s that for--”
Just as the words left Todd’s mouth, there was a loud twinge from within the wall, and then hundreds of darts shot forth. Thankfully, they all followed the trajectory of the light beams, so none of us were in harm’s way.
Todd’s mouth fell agape when he saw the trap activated, and then he rubbed at his head as he stared at the ground, wide-eyed.
“I totally coulda died, bro… ” he muttered, and his existential crisis echoed through the hallway.
“Do you see anything on your end?” Ziminiar called out. “A switch or a lever that might deactivate the mechanism, perhaps?”
The imp must have snapped out of his daze, because he quickly shook his head and then began searching his surroundings.
“Aha!” we heard him exclaim. “Let’s see what this thing does… ”
There was a loud click, followed by the sound of the grinding stone. One-by-one, the tiny beams of light went out as they were covered. Finally, the trap was deactivated, and it was safe for us to proceed.
“Good job, Todd!” Cupi laughed. “I knew you could do it.”
“Really?” Todd gasped. “Because you totally didn’t sound like you did earlier, and I really didn’t blame you. I was not in control of that situation at all, Cupi… not at all.”
“Never doubted you for a moment,” the blonde succubus lied as she patted the imp on the head.
The six of us cautiously made our way through the hallway of brimstone, complete with a damp red rug that stretched the entire length of the corridor. After about three minutes of walking, we finally came to a doorway that led into a large, open room.
Well, “open” might have been the wrong word for it.
The room stretched the entire three stories of the structure and came to a curved point at the ceiling. There were several pedestals littered throughout the space, each one with a different polished stone sculpture on its top.
Upon closer inspection, I realized each of these sculptures was made to be a different Demon King.
Or, at least, the Demon Kings who existed before I came down here and started killing them all.
I found the lanky, bow-holding figure of Beelzebub, right next to the gremlin-like, knightly sculpture of Gressil. Baphomet was right next to them, and then, last but not least, was the demon who started it all.
Azazel.
Even in sculpture form, I wanted nothing more than to snap the fucker’s head off and stomp it into dust. His beady dark eyes stared back at me with vitriol, almost as if he was mocking me from beyond the grave.
I turned away from the statue before I completely lost my cool.
However, this was much more than just a room for decorative art. The walls of the entire rotunda had been converted into bookshelves, and dusty old texts stretched up as far as the eye could see.
“Behold!” Ziminiar declared. “The Library of Augury!”
“Oh, thank fuck,” Todd sighed and leaned against one of the pedestals. “We’re already here? So, we can snatch up the prophecies and head home?”
“No, no,” the King of the Sixth Circle clarified, “this is the library. The prophetic rooms are even further inside the building.”
Todd let out a loud sigh of frustration before he started to bang his head against the pedestal.
“What’s the matter, Todd?” Cupi teased. “I thought you wanted to go on a death-defying adventure like that Jones character?”
“That was before I realized you could actually die in these death-defying adventures!” the imp exclaimed.
“There’s only two more traps,” I reminded the imp, “another corridor and another room. We’re halfway there, so it’d be stupid to turn around and go back now.”
“Fine, fine,” the imp sighed as he stood up to his feet, placed his hands on the small of his back, and leaned until there was a loud crack. “But I’m totally not doing that laser shit again. I think I’m gonna need a heating pad for the next four weeks.”
“Bro,” I chuckled, “you totally just missed out on your chance to say ‘I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.’”
“Why would I go around quoting Murtaugh, bro?” Todd questioned. “I’m totally more of a Riggs.”
I couldn’t argue with that one.
Just like in Ziminiar’s drawing, there were four large doorways spread across the far wall of the chamber, nestled in between the various shelves of books. Each one had an image carved into the stone above them, but it was in one of the cryptic languages I didn’t understand.
“Inferoglyphs?” I questioned as I squinted to see if I could roughly make out their shapes.
“I wish,” Ziminiar scoffed. “These are written in Deorish, the language of the Gods.”
“Shit,” I sighed. “Do you have any idea what they say?”
“My studies of the Book of Bezaleel have allowed me to translate some phrases and passages,” the scholar explained, “but so far I’m only able to speak basic Deorish.”
“Basic biiiiiitch,” Todd snickered.
“Nevertheless,” Ziminiar muttered and shot the imp a look, “I shall do my best.”
“No pressure,” Eclipse noted with a hint of sarcasm, “it’s just deciding what death-defying challenge we’ll have to go through next. That’s all.”
Ziminiar’s wings beat softly as he raised himself up to get a closer look at the markings. His head darted back and forth between the four images as he stroked his hairy chin and studied them through his coke-bottle glasses.
“I understand this one!” the King of the Sixth Circle exclaimed. “This is the Deorish symbol for fire. You probably won’t be surprised to know it’s a very common part of Deorish dialect. Essentially, it’s informing us that there is a wall of multicolored flames beyond this door.”
“So, then that hallway has another fire trap.” I nodded. “What about the rest of them?”
“This one I can only read in bits and pieces,” Ziminiar admitted when he moved to the second symbol. “I recognize it says something about water, stones, and chains… ”
“A trap that intends to drown us, perhaps?” Cupi suggested.
“Nah,” Todd scoffed, “it’s obviously Lucy’s pet shark, tied up to a chain so he doesn’t get away. That way he could walk right past ‘em without issue, but anyone else is gonna get gulped up faster than baby gravy by a Spring Breaker.”
“The next one is just as nebulous,” Ziminiar interjected. “It looks like the symbol for a clock, but it’s a bit off.”
“What do you mean ‘a bit off?’” I questioned.
“This is precisely the same symbol Deorish used for both ‘clock’ and ‘time,’ but with one less line here at the bottom,” Ziminiar pondered. “And then the symbol next to it indicates motion, the same sort of motion you’d see when the text is talking about doing battle.”
“So, it’s something involving time and battle,” I stated. “We’ll come back to that one. What’s the final hallway’s symbol say?”
“Well,” the goat-faced demon mused, “I see the symbols for ‘chronological’ and ‘puzzle’ on this one, but I’m not familiar with those other two whatsoever.”
“So, our choices are a wall of multicolored Hellfire,” Cupi said as she counted on her fingers, “a trap with water and rocks, a trap where time is involved somehow, and one we only know moves chronologically.”
“Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Mirage whistled. “None of those sound pleasant.”
“My vote’s for the wall of fire,” Todd spoke up. “I mean, it still sounds like it’s gonna be terrible, but at least we know what’s in there. The Devil you know, and all that. And yes, pun totally intended, bro.”
“But it’s a wall of multicolored flames,” Eclipse reminded the imp, “that means we’ll have to try and counter every single Hellfire ability known to man, including ones we’ve yet to encounter. We don’t have the right team for that.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” I admitted. “This team was built for stealth and espionage, not brute force.”
“If we go through the water trap, I could freeze it,” Cupi suggested.
“If that really is the symbol for water,” Ziminiar corrected. “Deorish uses the same symbol for any flowing matter, be it water or lava or liquified metal.”
“Even Chafed Donkey’s Ass-Destroying Hot Sauce?” Todd gasped.
“Uhhhh, is that one of your Earth’s bands or--” Ziminiar began, but I jumped in to explain.
“It’s his favorite brand of hot sauce,” I clarified. “Todd used to lather that shit on everything back when he was human.”
“Made with a hearty combination of Habeneros, Ghost Peppers, Naga Vipers, and the ever-so-succulent Carolina Reaper!” Todd smacked his lips. “Remind me to grab some of that shit when we get back to Earth.”
“I don’t see how you even have a digestive system left,” I chuckled, but Todd just shrugged.
“I probably don’t.” He smirked and slapped his potbelly. “It’s why I have my infamous gullet of steel, bro.”
“Well, in that case, yes,” Ziminiar chuckled, “it could also stand for Chafed Donkey’s Ass-Destroying Hot Sauce.”
“Sweeeeet,” Todd snickered, “I vote for that one, bro.”
“I don’t think that’s what it means, tho--”
“The Toddster has spoken.” Todd crossed his arms across his chest and nodded decisively.
“What about the other two?” Mirage asked. “I think the chronological puzzle one is where we should go. At least that one outright states it’s a puzzle, and that gives us all a fighting chance instead of relying on sheer luck and reflexes.”
The madame had a point. Room three was completely mysterious, and I didn’t want to risk discovering what it was all about.
The room with the fiery wall was an enigma, as well. If we ran into something like elemental magic or transfiguration magic, we had nothing to really counter it with.
The room with the liquid might have given us a good shot, but it could have been lava or enchanted liquid metal for all we knew. And, judging by past experience, liquid metal was not the way to go.
“I’m with Mirage,” I finally announced. “If there’s a puzzle to solve, at least we stand a fighting chance. Fuck, if we’re careful enough, we could even get through the hall without activating the damn trap.”
“Alright, alright,” Todd conceded and hung his head. “But I was totally hoping for the hot sauce.”
“If you think that’s what’s best, then I will go along with it,” Cupiditas agreed.
So, the six of us sauntered over to the door, and then we stepped through the passageway. The hallway was dark, lit only by the fading light of the torches that hung along both sides, and it got even darker when the stone door slammed shut behind us.
“Damn.” Todd whistled. “With all that abuse, I bet Lucy’s gotta reinstall those things every couple of years. Either that, or they’re fucking German-engineered, bro.”
I summoned red Hellfire into my hands and held it aloft to illuminate the room around us. There, inscribed on the floor before us, was a series of glyphs, with one per tile.
“Deorish, too?” I gulped as I looked over the markings.
“Unfortunately,” Ziminiar sighed. “If I had to guess, we must follow the path that spells out a full sentence.”
“Did your Daddy just steal everything from Last Crusade, Jakey?” Todd pondered. “Or did they steal it from him? I knew that Spielberg guy was too good to be a mortal man… ”
“Couldn’t we just fly over?” Eclipse suggested. “That way we wouldn’t even have to risk it?”
“There’s no way in Hell Lucifer didn’t think of that,” I reminded the succubus. “If we try to fly over the tiles, it’ll probably activate the trap automatically, and we’ll be insta-killed.”
“Then we must figure out the correct sequence.” Cupi nodded. “I will go.”
“No,” I ordered. “Ziminiar and I will do this one. He knows more Deorish than any of us, and he’ll need my magic just in case anything goes south.”
