The Battle for Rondo, page 9
The ogre blinked in surprise, then slowly nodded with approval. ‘It warms my heart to see you take your rightful place as hostess at my table, Dame Dally,’ he said. ‘That is the chair my mother preferred, so my father always told me.’
Roughly he gestured for his other guests to be seated. Then he clapped his hands. Instantly doors at the side of the room banged open, and with a great bustling and flapping, dozens of silver platters with feathery white wings flew in, loaded with food.
There were platters heaped with fish, crabs, octopus and lobsters. There were platters overflowing with giant meatballs, boiled turnips and baked potatoes. There were platters of steaming seaweed, loaves of bread, whole wheels of cheese and bunches of swollen purple grapes. There were platters on which vast jellies shaped like the creatures of the sea wobbled dangerously.
The platters came in to land on the table, shedding feathers, spilling food and clattering noisily as they jostled for position like seabirds in a crowded nesting spot. No sooner had they settled down and folded their wings than a small flock of fat silver jugs flew in and forced their way between them, slopping gravy, melted butter, iced water and dark red wine onto the tablecloth.
The ogre looked slyly down the table to see if Dame Dally was impressed.
Everyone else was staring at the spectacle, open-mouthed. But Spoiler was merely looking hungrily at the food, as if trying to decide what he would eat first. Perhaps, Leo thought, he had seen so many wonders in the Blue Queen’s castle that the ogre’s flying platters didn’t seem anything very special.
But the ogre was starting to look disappointed, and that was dangerous.
‘This is – amazing,’ Leo said, kicking Spoiler under the table. ‘Isn’t it amazing, Dame Dally?’
‘Oh!’ squeaked Spoiler, dropping a meatball he had just picked up. ‘Oh, yes!’
The ogre beamed, and at once seized a whole lobster, tore off its head and began to eat. If he had learned his eating habits from his father, it was easy to understand why his mother had preferred to sit at the far end of the table. He tore at his food and gulped his drink with such savagery and greed that food scraps, wine and spit flew everywhere, spattering the table, the floor, and his neighbours.
Conker and Bertha, who were the nearest, were the worst affected. Conker, no doubt hardened by years of squashing dots for a living, merely turned slightly away, so that his back and shoulders took most of the spattering. Bertha, however, shuddered fastidiously, and after a while stopped even pretending to eat.
‘What’s wrong with you, pig?’ roared the ogre with his mouth full. He had drunk several glasses of the dark red wine by now, and was in the mood for an argument.
Bertha wisely declined to answer, merely flicking a chunk of chewed crab from a hat ribbon.
‘My table manners disgust you, I suppose,’ said the ogre, with a mocking, crab-clotted grin. My young brother was always telling me I should improve them. He had beautiful manners – and a revoltingly kind nature as well. And where did it get him? Some chit of a girl fell in love with him and kissed him, and he turned into a handsome prince!’
‘Doesn’t sound too bad to me,’ said Conker incautiously.
‘It was a disgrace!’ roared the ogre, pounding the table with his fist and spitting crab and meatball fragments far and wide. ‘The shame of it killed my poor father, and I have lived under its shadow ever since. So I am horribly cruel and dangerous, and have bad manners and pick my teeth! So what? I’m an ogre, aren’t I? Outsiders can take me as I am. I am sick of being compared to my perfect brother. Sick! Sick! Sick!’
‘I know just how you feel,’ Spoiler said unexpectedly from the other end of the table. ‘Good, kind, well-mannered, perfect brothers can ruin a person’s life. People are always comparing you. And you’re the one who always comes out the villain.’
Leo sat up in alarm. Spoiler was suspiciously bright in the eyes as though he, too, had drunk rather a lot of wine.
‘Dame Dally understands me!’ said the ogre in a broken voice, leaning forward with his elbows in one of the jelly platters. ‘She understands me, as no one else ever has. Tomorrow we shall be married, and my loneliness will be at an end.’
He blinked blearily at the appalled faces around the table. ‘I find that I am a little tired, so I will now show you to your bedchambers,’ he said. ‘You see? I am offering you hospitality, as a true ogre should.’
A clap of thunder shook the room. The ogre paused, cocked his head and nodded appreciatively. ‘Outside the storm rages, but here, thanks to me, you will be safe and sheltered,’ he went on. ‘You will have everything the castle can provide, and you may wander it at will. There is only one room you may not enter.’
‘Here we go,’ Freda muttered.
‘Which room?’ Conker demanded eagerly.
‘I will show it to you on our way,’ said the ogre, standing up so abruptly that his chair toppled backwards onto the floor. ‘But I urge you to restrain your curiosity, and obey my order. The room is forbidden. You enter it at your peril!’
Chapter
11
The Eye of the Storm
The ogre strode to the foot of the table and held out his greasy hand to Spoiler. Spoiler stood up unsteadily, tripped on his skirts and pitched forward, crashing into the ogre’s waiting arms then springing back with a muffled squeak.
‘A good night’s sleep is what you need, my little flower,’ said the ogre tolerantly. ‘You must be well rested for our wedding day.’ He burped richly and led Spoiler from the room.
Leo, Mimi, Bertha, Conker and Freda crowded after them, glancing at one another but not daring to speak.
In slow procession they passed through all the grand rooms they had seen before. Again Leo looked frantically for the silver box, and again he saw no sign of it.
At last they found themselves back on the landing of the grand staircase.
‘The bedchambers are above,’ said the ogre, pointing up to the gallery that ringed the vast, echoing space. He yawned hugely, turned and began to climb the second flight of stairs.
The gallery was wide enough for the whole quest team to walk side by side. Paintings of the sea in its many moods hung on the wall to their left. The polished wooden railings to their right cast barred shadows over soft rugs that muffled the sound of their footsteps. Leo peered over the railing, and felt dizzy. They were very high up.
‘This is my chamber,’ said the ogre, throwing open the first door to reveal a vast, dim, evil-smelling room with a magnificent view of the stormy sea. ‘It was my father’s before me, and nothing in it has been changed since his time.’
‘Including the sheets, by the smell of it,’ Mimi said under her breath. Leo glanced at her warningly and she grinned. He wondered how she could smile at a time like this, then found himself grinning back. Their situation was so desperate that it really was laughable.
His eyes were drawn to the view through the ogre’s window. He saw lightning crack the clouds over the white-capped sea, and counted automatically as he waited for the thunder to follow. It came very quickly. The storm was almost directly overhead.
‘I suppose this room is full of treasures too,’ Bertha suggested brightly, craning her neck to see around the door.
‘No, it is not,’ growled the ogre, eyeing her suspiciously. ‘I keep no treasures here. The rats tend to damage them.’
He turned his back on her and swept Spoiler on so fast that the quest team had to run to keep up with them.
‘This is your room, my dear Dame Dally,’ the ogre said, stopping outside the only other door on this side of the gallery. ‘You will be comfortable here, I am sure.’
He opened the door with a flourish, and waited expectantly.
The room was large and luxurious, with another splendid view of the raging sea. It was decorated in shades of pink, from the coral of the velvet curtains drawn back from the windows to the shell pink of the silken hangings that swathed the four-poster bed. A fire glowed on one wall, and candles in a triple-branched silver candlestick shed soft, flickering light.
Everyone stared in. Six pairs of eyes searched rapidly and fruitlessly for a silver, heart-shaped box.
The ogre cleared his throat impatiently.
‘Excellent view,’ said Conker, digging Spoiler in the ribs.
‘Very nice,’ Spoiler simpered.
Their host looked gratified and, bizarrely, Leo felt a stab of pity. The Ogre of Cruelcliff was horrible, there was no doubt about that. But as he had said, he was an ogre, after all. His eagerness to impress the false Dame Dally was as sad as it was ridiculous.
And dangerous, Leo reminded himself. If he finds out he’s been tricked – when he finds out – we’ll be in big, big trouble.
‘Your servants can choose their own rooms,’ the ogre said to Spoiler, waving his hand at the doors lining the opposite side of the gallery. ‘There is just one more thing I must show you before we go to our rest.’
He strode on to the place where the gallery turned at right angles to continue along the side wall of the castle. There, just past the corner, was a black door covered in brass studs. Not only did it look completely different from all the other doors in the gallery, which were of natural, polished wood, it was the only one on this side. The room behind it had to be very large indeed. There was only one thing it could be.
‘This is the forbidden chamber,’ said the ogre unnecessarily. ‘Its secrets are for my eyes only, and only I may enter it. Is that clearly understood?’
He squinted around suspiciously. Everyone nodded and mumbled nervous agreement.
‘Very well,’ the ogre growled. ‘You have been warned.’
He turned on his heel and led Spoiler back to the pink bedroom with the quest team following closely behind.
‘Sleep well, my little flower,’ he murmured, as Spoiler fled into the room without looking back. ‘I will see you in the morning.’
He closed the door gently and scowled over his shoulder at Mimi, Leo, Bertha, Conker and Freda.
‘Get to bed!’ he snarled, with a complete change of tone. ‘I am sick of you gawping and sneaking around my castle, asking impertinent questions about my treasures! After the wedding tomorrow you can get out! Dame Dally will soon learn to do without you, for she will have me as her companion, and no damsel could ask for anything more.’
He stomped back to his own room and went in, slamming the door behind him.
‘Well, I like that!’ cried Bertha, the tips of her ears red with anger. ‘Who does he think he –’
The ogre’s door flew open again, and the ogre’s head popped out. He grinned wickedly at their startled faces, showing the strands of seaweed and chunks of crab claw stuck in his fangs. ‘And remember what I said about the forbidden chamber!’ he snarled.
‘As if we could forget,’ Leo muttered, as the grinning face disappeared and the door slammed once more. He had changed his mind about feeling sorry for the ogre. ‘Why does he keep talking about his stupid secret room? If he hadn’t mentioned it, we’d never have known about it. And why paint the door black and put all those studs on it? He might as well have put up a flashing sign with Secret Room and an arrow!’
‘That’s how ogres work,’ Mimi said. ‘They always have a secret room and they always make such a huge fuss about it being forbidden that their guests finally can’t resist looking inside. Then the ogres have an excuse to slaughter them.’
‘But how – how devious!’ gasped Bertha.
‘That’s ogres for you,’ said Freda, shrugging.
‘It comes with the territory,’ Conker agreed absent-mindedly. He turned to look at the black door and tugged his beard thoughtfully.
Leo’s stomach fluttered. ‘Let’s check the other bedrooms,’ he said quickly. ‘The silver box might be in one of them.’
‘No chance,’ said Freda flatly. She exchanged meaningful glances with Conker, Bertha and Mimi. The fluttering in Leo’s stomach increased.
‘You never know,’ he argued. ‘And we can’t – can’t do anything else until we’re sure he’s asleep.’
Thunder roared above, and rain began to pound on the castle roof. Everyone looked along the gallery to the ogre’s door.
‘Leo’s right,’ Bertha whispered. ‘The ogre might be waiting just inside that door, ready to jump out and catch us… um… doing something we shouldn’t. And at least the bedrooms are where we’re supposed to be.’
They hurried to the corner of the gallery and turned right, the soft rugs muffling the sound of their footsteps. No one looked at the black door as they passed it, but Leo knew that everyone was thinking about it. He knew perfectly well that Conker, Freda, Bertha and Mimi were convinced there was only one place where the silver box could be – the forbidden chamber.
It isn’t logical, he told himself, pressing his hand to his stomach, which now felt as if a thousand butterflies were panicking inside it. We haven’t searched every corner of the castle. There must be a million places where the silver box could be. Why should it be in the worst one possible?
Because that’s how life is, the less rational part of his mind said. He thrust the thought away.
‘What about Spoiler?’ Mimi asked suddenly. ‘We’re not supposed to leave him alone.’
‘He won’t dare come out,’ Conker said. ‘Even if he did, where would he go? He can’t get out of the castle.’
None of us can get out. Gritting his teeth, Leo bundled the thought away with his fears about the forbidden chamber. One thing at a time, he ordered himself, as they reached the opposite side of the gallery. Just pray someone finds the silver box in the next ten minutes.
But in even less time than that, he found himself trudging empty-handed back around the gallery with everyone else. It had not taken long to search the spare bedrooms. Though comfortable and richly furnished, they contained few ornaments, and few places where anything could be hidden.
‘Told you,’ said Freda.
‘It was just as well to eliminate all other possibilities,’ Conker told her. He reached the door of the forbidden chamber and considered it thoughtfully, chewing his moustache. The next moment he had stretched out his hand, gripped the doorknob, and turned it.
‘Conker!’ Leo gasped in terror.
‘Locked,’ Conker growled. ‘Oh, my lungs and liver, what a nuisance! Now we’ll have to –’
‘Shh!’ Mimi warned urgently. ‘Listen!’
A harsh rasping, gurgling sound was rising in the gallery, mingling with the sound of the rain and the crashing of thunder.
It was coming from the ogre’s room.
As one, the quest team jumped guiltily away from the forbidden door.
‘Spoiler’s room’s the closest!’ hissed Leo. ‘Quick!’
They flew on silent feet around the corner and on to Spoiler’s room.
The hideous sound grew louder and deeper till it was like the enraged snorting of a monstrous beast. The ogre’s door was vibrating. Every moment they expected to see it fly open and a scowling face appear. But the sound went on and on, and the door remained shut.
‘Maybe he’s having a fit,’ Freda suggested hopefully.
‘That octopus was very rich,’ Conker agreed.
They all listened intently.
‘No!’ Bertha said after a moment. ‘He’s just fallen asleep. Lawks-a-daisy, I thought my brother’s snoring was bad, but it’s nothing compared to this!’
Spoiler’s door opened a crack, and Spoiler’s red, fearful face, absurdly framed in bonnet frills, peered out.
‘What’s that noise?’ he jabbered hysterically.
‘It’s just your bridegroom snoring,’ snapped Conker.
Spoiler slipped out of the room and cocked his head to listen to the ogre’s snores. ‘Right!’ he said through chattering teeth. ‘Let’s get out of here!’
He dug his mittened fingers under his purple satin sash, and pulled out the ogre’s keys.
Everyone gaped at him. He shrugged. ‘There are times when even my talents come in useful,’ he said, with a touch of defiance.
‘You took the keys when you fell against him after dinner, didn’t you?’ gasped Leo. ‘But I didn’t see a thing! And he didn’t feel it!’
‘Of course not,’ Spoiler said, looking insulted. ‘That’s the whole point!’
‘Give those keys here,’ Conker ordered, holding out his hand. ‘I’ll take care of them.’
Spoiler passed the keys over reluctantly and watched with growing impatience as Conker went through them one by one.
‘Stop wasting time!’ he hissed. ‘The front door key is the long brass one – we know that! Let’s go!’
But Conker had found what he was looking for. ‘Dabs to dibs this is the one we want,’ he said, holding up a key that was very large, and coal black.
Spoiler’s mouth dropped open. Slowly he turned his head to look at the brass-studded black door.
‘You’re insane,’ he croaked.
Conker scowled at him. ‘The silver box is in that room for sure, and we’re not leaving the castle without it. Right, team, it’s now or never. To the forbidden chamber!’
‘Not yet, Conker,’ Bertha said urgently. ‘We should wait until –’
‘Dots to that!’ snapped Conker. ‘Wait? What for?’
Everyone jumped in shock as a gigantic clap of thunder exploded directly overhead. The ogre gave a tremendous snort, and the next moment his loud, sleepy voice rose in grumbling complaint.
Spoiler shot back into his room. Conker, Freda, Bertha, Leo and Mimi hurtled after him. The candles flickered in the draught, and went out. Leo had just managed to close and bolt the door when through the wall came the sound of heavy feet, and a crash as the ogre’s door was wrenched open.
For what seemed a very long time they clung together, breathless, imagining the ogre peering suspiciously around the gallery. Then, at last, they heard his door close again, and the clumping sound of more footsteps. There was a sleepy groan and the creaking of bedsprings. Seconds later, the rasping snores began again.
Spoiler gave a trembling sigh and stumbled to the window, pressing his forehead against the glass.
