I shot her a sidelong glance. “Did you seriously just say that?” Britt was the last person to talk about God handling anyone. Not that she didn’t believe. She simply hated so-called church speak.

  Britt cracked up. “It’s true, though.” She cleared her throat. “Now, enough about Neil, who is the man you’ve been dissing me for?”

  I should’ve known she would circle back to this. I hesitated to share, but in the end, decided that I needed her ear. “I did a thing,” I confessed.

  She lifted a questioning brow. “A thing? Or a dick?”

  I swatted her with a dish towel. “Shut up.”

  “Well …”

  “Both,” I admitted. I motioned toward my new kitchen table, and we took a seat. “Remember I sent that text to Dr. Bond?”

  “Right, and you were going to have a drink with him to talk about it. That was weeks ago.” Her mouth fell open as realization dawned. “You’re fucking him?”

  I bit down on my lip. “Every chance I get.”

  Britt gave me a high-five. “Lawd, Jesus. You got dicked down by the good doctor.”

  I spilled everything, starting with the first date, and ending with us christening my new bed last night.

  “Shit.” She rubbed her forehead. “You like him, huh?”

  “I more than like him.”

  “So this is serious?”

  “I don’t know.” Admittedly, we hadn’t talked about committing to each other. We’d just been taking it day-by-day, enjoying our time together. “He’s so good, Britt. I feel safe with him. I don’t even mind cuddling at night.”

  “Yeah,” she murmured, “you’re invested. Especially, if you’re letting him spoon you while you sleep.”

  “Right? The hot flashes are real, sis.”

  “Girl, I know. I had one at the grocery store last night. I just walked over to the freezer section, opened the door where the Eggos were, and stood there until it subsided.”

  Leaning forward, I said, “I’m a little scared to move this thing out of the shadows and into the light.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it feels too perfect right now in our little bubble. I want it to stay that way. Once the women at work know about us, the treachery will start.”

  “Well, you know how it is.” She shrugged. “But you can’t let that stop you. Have you met his daughters?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet. But I did talk to his grandfather on the phone the other day.”

  “Does he know you’re not trying to be someone’s mother?”

  “Of course. That’s not an issue. He’s done raising kids himself.”

  Britt searched my eyes. “I’m assuming you told me all of this because you need some advice, correct?”

  “Not really. But if you had some words of wisdom, I might listen.”

  Britt had married young and lost her husband to gun violence. We raised their son together, and now my godson was a well-adjusted adult with a good-paying job and a baby on the way. I trusted her with my life, and I knew she wouldn’t tell me anything but the truth.

  “Enjoy him, sis.”

  Frowning, I asked, “That’s it?”

  “If you’re looking for me to give you a reason why you shouldn’t be with him, I can’t do that.”

  I could always count on my friend to point out the reasons why I shouldn’t do a thing. Especially when it came to men. She’d even warned me about her own brother. So I was looking for more of that, like maybe she spotted a few red flags when I told her everything about Nero. But … no. “What about—”

  “Stop,” she chided. “Don’t do that. Don’t look for reasons not to be with him. We’re not getting any younger. We’re less than ten years out from the start of our third quarter in life. From everything you told me, this man seems like a keeper.” She clasped her hands together. “For years, I’ve watched you put everyone else first. Why don’t you try to just live your life? For you.”

  Britt had stunned me silent with this conversation. I stared at my friend but couldn’t even think of a response.

  She put me out of my misery when she said, “And if I meet him and he gives me a bad vibe, I’ll let you know.”

  “Finally, something I wanted to hear.”

  “I’m not here to tell you what you want to hear, sis,” she said frankly. “I’m here to tell you the truth. I expect the same from you always. So stop hiding him. Hold that man’s hand in front of them thirsty, stiff women at your job and keep it moving. And bring him to the work site soon. I want to meet him, and we could use an extra hand.”

  We spent the rest of the morning together, shopping for furniture and talking about everything. My best friend had given me some great advice and I planned to take it. I just hoped it didn’t come back to bite me in the ass.

  Chapter 5

  You Really Got a Hold on Me

  DAPHNE

  * * *

  There was something about Nero. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he … Lawd. I shivered as I recalled how he woke me up this morning, with his head between my thighs and his eyes locked on mine.

  I wasn’t an overly affectionate person. Never had been. Yet, when he was in the room, I found myself wanting to show and receive affection from him. I wanted to lose myself in his scent, in his arms, in his eyes. I just wanted him. At the same time, I couldn’t deny that I was scared. Scared to love again.

  I’d been in a few long-term relationships, had even walked down the aisle once—only to turn my ass around and run out of the church before I made the biggest mistake of my life. It was amazing Britt had run out with me, especially since the groom was her brother. James had scarred me, and since then, I’d kept myself at a safe distance from men. Good sex was one thing, but dick didn’t pay the bills. Or keep me safe. And sometimes it’s available to every chick in the hood.

  Snapping myself out of those thoughts, I eyed the new furniture that had been delivered today. Britt was right. It felt good to get back on track, to try to move on from the Neil drama. Word on the street was that he’d moved to California. As far as I was concerned, he’d better stay there. Because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from kicking his ass if he ever stepped foot in the “D” again.

  Unfortunately, Kitty was never coming back. I missed that damn cat too. So much I’d spent the morning looking online for another feline companion. Still, even searching for a new pet felt wrong and made me resent Neil even more.

  When my phone buzzed, I thanked God for my bestie. She always showed up on time, whether it was barging into the house or calling me at the exact time I needed to focus on something else other than my life.

  “Hey,” I said, fluffing my new throw pillows.

  “Girl, you’ll never believe what happened at work today.”

  “Tell me, chile.” I’d spent many nights listening to Britt tell stories about her place of employment. From wives vandalizing their cheating husbands’ cars to employees getting caught fucking on the line, there was a steady stream of tea spilled by my bestie. I knew way too much about the lives of her co-workers. And I’m here for it. “I need to hear about the latest assembly line drama.”

  I lit a candle and made my way back to the kitchen as Britt told me about the fight that broke out on the line several minutes ago. Apparently, one of the supervisors had two side chicks and both ended up on the same shift. Drama ensued when the women put two-and-two together, but instead of beating each other down, they’d attacked the supervisor.

  Britt cracked up. “Check your messages. I recorded part of it.”

  I glanced at my screen and opened the video. The footage was clear as day. The man was on the ground and the two women were stomping the shit out of him. “Wait a minute. Why didn’t anyone stop it?”

  “Girl,” Britt smacked her lips, “ain’t nobody got time to jump into that shit.”

  “How did it end?”

  “Another supervisor broke it up. But get this … his wife called one of the side chicks and threatened her life.”

  “He’s married?” I exclaimed.

  “For thirty years.”

  “He must have that magic dick.”

  “I heard it was average. One of my homegirls took him for a spin a couple of years ago. She said he couldn’t even keep it hard.”

  Shaking my head, I offered, “maybe he’s just really nice.”

  “He’s an asshole,” she grumbled. “But since he’s nice looking and gives cash gifts, the ladies stay fighting over him.”

  Opening the fridge, I pulled out the pizza dough I’d prepared a few hours ago. Nero had asked me out to dinner, but I suggested we eat in. I loved being with him, but I was still hesitant to go public. And although he rolled with it, I could tell he was disappointed about tonight.

  “Are you seeing your doctor tonight?” Britt asked.

  “Yeah, he’s on his way. I’m cooking dinner for him.”

  “You’re cooking?” She snickered. “I can’t get you to fry a pork chop.”

  “I know you lyin’,” I tossed back. “I know how to cook.”

  Britt laughed. “Yes, but you don’t do it much anymore.”

  My best friend was right again. When I was younger, I cooked most of the meals for my family. Once I moved out, I made it a point to cook only when I wanted to. “Well, today, I want to make dinner for my …” I hesitated at the word “man” because I wasn’t sure I could really call Nero that. We’d yet to define our relationship and I was actually good with that.

  “Your man?” Britt said, finishing my thought.

  “I can’t call him that yet,” I admitted. “We’re just hanging out.”

  “Hanging out and fucking,” she mused. “Eating dinner and spending the night. It’s been over a month. Hell, almost two. Sounds like your man to me.”

  “You get on my damn nerves,” I muttered, grabbing the pizza sauce and the toppings from the fridge. I set everything on the counter. “I have to go.”

  “Don’t hang up now, sis. It’s crazy that you have a man, and I haven’t met him yet.”

  A soft knock saved me from the lecture my friend was about to give me. “He’s here,” I chirped. “I’ll call you later.”

  “We’re definitely talking about this later,” she warned.

  “Bye, sis. Love you.”

  I ended the call, straightened my clothes, and hurried to the door. Swinging it open, I beamed up at my … Nero. “Hey!” I gave him a hug and a kiss, then pulled him into the house.

  “Hey, baby.” He pulled me back to him when I turned to go back into the kitchen, capturing my mouth with his again. “You look good.”

  A smile tugged at my lips. I’d never smiled so much around any of the men I’d been with. Not only was he funny, but I actually felt happy around him. Is he my man, though? “Thank you,” I murmured against his lips. “You look good yourself.”

  Whether Nero was wearing scrubs, a hoodie and jeans, or nothing at all, he was always fine as hell. It was an everyday thing. And I wanted this to be an everyday routine—greetings with kisses, talking about our workday, dinner, and after dinner. He’s probably my man.

  I led him to the kitchen. “I figured we could eat pizza and watch a movie.”

  Nero leaned against the counter. “How about we eat pizza and make a movie?”

  I gaped at him, even as I imagined the movie we would make together. We talked about recording ourselves the other day. Before I could’ve never imagined it, but now … I can’t wait to watch us on camera.

  “Better yet,” he continued, “you can eat pizza while I eat you.”

  This man—my man—could definitely get it tonight. And every night. I tried to keep a straight face, but my mind had already raced to the foregone conclusion that he’d be inside me in a matter of minutes. “What if you eat pizza and I wrap my mouth around your dick?”

  He looked me up and down, igniting a fire deep inside that only seemed to burn hotter and brighter when he was near. Without warning, he hooked a finger in the waistband of my lounge pants, pulling me closer to him. He tugged my shirt off, then my bra. “I say we,” he kissed my mouth, then ran his tongue down my neck and over my collarbone, before sinking his teeth into my shoulder, “save the pizza for later? You’ll need to eat after I’m done with you.” He picked me up in a fireman’s carry—to my delight—and carried me over to my new couch. “Nice furniture.” Nero set me on the sofa and pulled my lounge pants down. “But I’m down for all of the above.”

  * * *

  Several orgasms later, we finally sat down to eat dinner. In my bed. Naked.

  Nero bit into a slice of pizza. “This is good, baby. You made the dough yourself?”

  I nodded. “I learned how to do it when I was a teenager. I was looking for dinner ideas and figured it was cheaper to make pizza than buy it. Since then, I’ve perfected the recipe.”

  He hummed his approval as he finished his first slice. “Tastes almost as good as you.” He waggled his eyebrows, then barked out a laugh.

  Giggling, I shoved him playfully. “You’re so corny.”

  “That was pretty bad,” he agreed.

  I love it, though.

  We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes. “Are you all set for the Juneteenth Jubilee?” Nero had been engrossed in preparations for the health fair, so we hadn’t spent as much time together over the past week.

  “I think so. I’m sure something will pop up, but I’m ready to tackle anything that comes.”

  “I love that you’re doing this for the community. I told my parents to put it in their church announcements. My dad was so happy when I told him I’d met someone from the Mr. Black Organization.”

  My father couldn’t stop talking about the organization and its mission once I’d told him about Nero. Dad also spoke fondly about Ace and his brothers, too. He’d even pulled out some of his old pictures.

  Nero chuckled. “That’s cool.”

  “To see the spark in his eyes as he talked about good times with his brothas … It warmed my heart. I hate that he’s lost touch with so many of his old friends.”

  My father rarely left the house anymore. Only to go to church and run a few short errands. It made me sad because he’d been such a busy person most of his life. I knew it had to be hard for him to take a step back, but his health had been getting worse in recent years, which made it difficult for him to move around like he used to.

  “I’ll have to bring him to one of the meetings with me. So that he can meet some of our new members.”

  “You’d do that?” We hadn’t met each other’s families yet—And I’m okay with that—but I loved that Nero had even offered.

  “Of course.” He wiped his hands with a napkin. “Do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked.

  Frowning, I tried to picture my calendar in my head. “I don’t think so.”

  “There’s a barbecue.”

  I paused, pizza midair. Swallowing, I said, “Really?”

  He eyed me curiously. “My cousin runs a barbershop. It’s been in my family for decades. They put on an annual barbecue every June, to feed the community. I want you to come.”

  Averting my gaze, I blew out a slow breath. “Oh.”

  “Ace will be there.”

  Again, it wasn’t the first time he’d asked me to meet his grandfather, but I still wasn’t sure it was the right time. “Okay.”

  “What is it, Daphne?”

  The fact that he’d called me by my first name instead of “baby” wasn’t lost on me. I glanced up at him. “Huh?”

  He sighed. “I’ve asked you to go out with me—in public—a few times and you’ve yet to say yes. What? Am I your dirty little secret?”

  “It’s not like that,” I protested. “Not at all.”

  “Then tell me what it’s like.”

  Running my thumb over the rim of my plate, I considered my words carefully. I closed my eyes. “I like being in our little bubble,” I confessed. “I’m a private person. Once we ‘go public’,” I threw up air quotes, “people start talking. Rumors get started. I told you before, I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

  “When will you be ready?”

  I lifted a questioning brow. “Is there a time limit?”

  He shook his head. “No. But I know what I want. I’m ready to be more than your private Bae. Is there something else holding you back? Your ex …”

  “No,” I blurted out. The topic of my ex-fiancé had come up in conversation a few times, but I hoped Nero didn’t think I was holding back from him because of James. “My relationship with James is so dead I wouldn’t even want to revive it. Most days, I can’t even stand him. He’s just part of my life because his sister is my best friend.”

  Nero stared at me. Correction … he stared through me. “I believe you.”

  I grabbed his plate and set it on the table next to bed. Then, I climbed on his lap. “I only want you.”

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  I’m the problem. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve spent my life putting everyone first. It’s kind of scary to have someone who’s willing to prioritize me. And … Fine. I’m scared.”

  “Of me?”

  “Kind of. Of us. This wasn’t supposed to be what it is. I went to grab a drink with you and now we’re spending nights together.” I struggled to formulate my next thought but babbled on anyway. “I love it. But it’s big, huh? What if it doesn’t work out, and we brought our families into it? I’ve been there, had to send the thank you notes after the farce of a wedding. I’m hesitant to do it again.”

  He traced my jawline, placed a sweet kiss to my mouth. “We’re very similar, you and me. You’re smarter than me, though.”

  “How?”

  “You didn’t go through with the wedding. I married someone because I thought it was the right thing to do, and I was miserable. I wouldn’t do that again. Getting to this point, feeling the way I feel for you … I’d be lyin’ if I said it didn’t scare the shit out of me, too. Yet, I’m willing to walk through fire to keep feeling this way.”

 

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