Playing Pretend, page 18
I shake my head and swallow over my drying throat.
This kiss would be real. No playing pretend. No games.
He raises a hand, his palm gently sliding around the back of my neck as he leans close.
It already feels like I’m denying fate. There’s no way his lips on mine will do anything other than increase that sensation exponentially.
“One kiss,” he whispers. “That’s all I’m asking.”
I bite my bottom lip, my insides screaming for me to crush my mouth to his while my anxiety demands I flee. “Rome…”
A feminine throat clears behind him.
“Shit.” He pulls back, his hold remaining on me as Olivia pads past with a sassy grin, her heels dangling from one hand, her purse in the other. I haven’t seen her for a few years. She looks good. Happier than the last time we caught up.
“You two might want to take this inside before you start getting subscribers.” She jerks her chin at the house across the street. “They’re not exactly discreet in their voyeurism.”
I follow her line of sight to Rome’s neighbor’s mansion, finding the silhouettes of two people standing at the window on the second story, a light shining from behind them as they watch us.
“I’ll speak to you later, cousin.” She gives Rome a wink, then a pointed look to me. “It’s about time, little lady.”
I remain silent as she continues to her car parked on the opposite side of the road and climbs inside, my nervousness stretching as she starts the ignition and then drives away.
Rome sighs. “I know that look.” His hand falls from my neck. “You still want to leave.”
“I don’t know what I want. I don’t even understand what’s happening. It’s all moving too fast.”
“This has been decades in the making, little Pip. There’s nothing fast about it. You’re just scared.”
“Of course I am. We played pretend for a few days and spent half our time fighting.”
“That wasn’t fighting.”
“It’s the closest we’ve come. We bickered like crazy.”
“Because we were stuck halfway between friends and lovers.” His hand tentatively grazes my hip. “I promise it won’t be like that when it’s real.”
I heave a frustrated breath and lower my attention to the black buttons on his shirt. “But you’re so…”
“Annoying?” he hedges.
I chuckle. “I was going to say adventurous. You know I’m not like that.” Insecurity leaves me chilled despite the blistering heat from his touch. “What if I can’t give you the spice you need?”
He glides a stray strand of hair from my blushing cheek. “After what we did at the resort, do you truly believe that’s a possibility?”
“But what if I can never bring myself to do anything like that again? What if I was only emboldened because we were pretending?”
A lone finger trails seductively from my ear down my jaw and along my lower lip, its path awakening with tingles. “In that case, I’d respect your wishes while also thinking you were kidding yourself. You were a sight to behold through all that spice. You made it seem so fucking natural.”
I shudder, falling under his spell. “I’m scared I’d disappoint you.”
“You couldn’t if you tried. I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. You, Piper. Not just the sexual fantasies. You. I’ve wanted to be the one you turn to when you’re upset—”
“You already are.”
“No, I’m the one you call,” he clarifies. “I want to be the one you fall asleep with when you’ve had a bad week. I want to be the one you need to wipe your tears. The one who’ll make everything alright again. I want us to work together. Live together. Make plans together.” He keeps stroking that finger along my lip. “I want everything I can possibly have from you. For as long as you’ll let me have it.”
“And what would happen if there came a time when I didn’t want that anymore? Or if you changed your mind?”
“You’re worrying about things that aren’t going to happen.”
“But what if they do? What if we try and hate it? What if we sleep together and it’s horrible? What if you realize you want to be a lifelong bachelor?”
He gives me a placating grin.
“What? I’m serious.” I palm the front of his shirt. “And this is only brushing the surface of my concerns. I could write a thesis on all the things that could go wrong.”
“I don’t doubt it, but I’ve got it all under control. If we try and you hate it, I’ll tie you to my bed and keep you there until I change your mind.” He plants a chaste kiss against my hairline. “And if you think sleeping together is horrible, I’ll do the same thing but with a leg spreader and a mass of toys to thoroughly learn exactly what you enjoy so you’re never left unsatisfied.”
Oh, God. “And what about the lifelong bachelor part?”
“You might see me as a bachelor, but I’ve been off the market for a long time. I’ve been dedicated to you for years.”
“So what you’re saying is that you’ve been cheating on me.”
He bursts out laughing. “You’re insufferable.”
“See?” I smile. “We’re already having problems.”
“I guess so.” He hauls me off the ground and into his arms.
“What are you doing?” I squeal.
“Exactly what I told you I’d do if we came across a rough patch.”
My eyes bug. “I don’t need to be tied to your bed, Rome.” I wiggle. Buck. “Please put me down. Please.”
He complies, placing me on my feet in front of him, my cheeks flushed, my breaths panted.
We stare at each other, my heart growing incredibly warm as he entwines our hands.
“I’m all in, Piper,” he murmurs the vow. “I always have been. I think it would be a mistake if we didn’t at least try.”
I know. God, how I know. But… “I’m scared.”
“I won’t let us fail. I know you. And you know me better than I know—”
“But we don’t know this.” I squeeze our tangled fingers. “Anything physical is new to both of us.”
“Yet the physical was so fucking good at the resort.” He presses his forehead to mine. “I’m hard just thinking about it.”
Heat pools between my thighs. “How do you find it so easy to talk like that?”
“Because I’ve fantasized about fucking you for a scandalous length of time.”
“How scandalous?”
“For as long as I can remember your blush has turned me harder than stone.”
My cheeks flame as I clench my core, hungry for more of his lust. “I’ve been blushing at your crass language since I was thirteen.”
“Which means I’m damn lucky I can hide my feelings otherwise I would’ve been in cuffs a long time ago.” He releases one of my hands to glide a gentle thumb over my cheek. “And now you’re just taunting me with all this pretty pink.”
I close my eyes, loving the delicate touch paired with the filthy intent.
“Let me show you how perfect we are together.” He keeps stroking my cheek. Back and forth. Tender and slow.
That’s what I want. Him to show it. Prove it.
I want him to kiss me, devour me, convince me that there’s no way we could fail.
“Open your eyes, Pip, or I’m going to take it as an invitation.”
I keep my lids clamped shut, my tongue throbbing for contact.
“Open your eyes.” His breath closes in on my mouth, the delicate tease making my knees weak. “Otherwise I’m going to steal a gasp from those pretty lips.”
I whimper, the sound barely leaving my throat as I silently acquiesce.
“You’re mine.” He bridges the space between us, our mouths colliding in a searing kiss.
He groans into the contact as his hands cup my jaw. He holds me in place, his tongue parting my lips.
I cling to his shirt. Tug him closer. Demand more as heat consumes me.
I want more.
More kisses. More contact. More him.
Instead, he pulls back, his eyes wild. “You should go.”
“Why?” I pant.
“Because things are going to move quickly if you don’t. And I’d prefer not to rush this. I want this to be—”
“Please don’t say perfect. That sort of pressure will—”
“There’s no pressure. All I’m saying is that I don’t want our first time to be fast and frivolous. You deserve better.”
What I deserve is to not have to obsess over the pros and cons of what’s to come for however long it takes to arrive. Quick may scare me, but slow will put me into cardiac arrest, especially when I’m still not convinced this is the right move.
“You’re panicking again, aren’t you?” He straightens, as if already knowing my answer. “Okay, change of plan.” He steps back, giving me space. “Go home. Pack an overnight bag. I’ll be there to pick you up in an hour. We’re going out for dinner to start this thing right.”
CHAPTER 18
Rome
She blinks blindly at my instruction.
“Come on.” I take her hand, leading the way to her car.
She remains quiet as I open the door and help her inside.
“I’ll see you in an hour. Okay?”
Her nod is unconvincing. She wants to bail again.
Fuck.
“There’s nothing to stress about.” I force myself to close her door then wait, my confidence ebbing as she starts the engine. I step back, paused a foot from the car, praying for her to drive off.
I wait. And fucking wait some more.
She doesn’t leave. She stares through the windscreen, brows pinched, shoulders tense.
The long heartbeats of her indecision are fucking torture.
Put me out of my misery, Piper. Just lower the window and tell me you can’t do this.
I won’t push her. Not anymore.
If she isn’t ready to see past our friendship, I can’t hold that against her. I’ll just keep biding my time, pretending I’m unfazed when she moves on… Starts dating… Falls in love.
I’ll wait as long as it takes.
She cuts the engine, burying my hopes for our future along with it.
I stand tall as she unclasps her belt and slowly climbs out. I pretend I’m not devastated. That she isn’t destroying me. I mask my ruin, pushing that shit deep down to deal with over a bottle of Macallan once she’s gone.
“Something wrong?” I feign ignorance.
She comes to stand before me, her skin pale in the moonlight. “I can’t do this.”
Bingo. Fuck me and my incredibly clear insight.
I nod, shoving my hands into my pockets. “It’s okay. I’ll give you some time.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I can’t do this.” She waves a theatrical hand toward her car. “I can’t leave and meet later. I can’t pack an overnight bag.” She nibbles her lower lip, her eyes pleading. “I’m sorry, Rome.”
“Don’t be. You do what you need to do, and I’ll be here if you change your mind.”
“You’re not listening.” She grasps my shirt, dragging me into her. “I don’t mean that I can’t do this.” She places a palm against my chest. “My problem is the thought of a meal while my stomach is a whirlpool of anxiety. I don’t want to wait. I need to get this done.”
I snort a surprised laugh as relief consumes me. “Never has a man been more flattered than I am in this moment.”
“I didn’t mean it as an insult. You’re not the only one who’s waited years.” She leans against her car door. “All I’m saying is that a sit-down meal with curated conversation isn’t the right way for us. My nerves will make it impossible to eat, let alone talk.”
“Then what’s the right way?” I lean into her. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you.” Her fingers entwine with my shirt, tug, tug, tugging me closer until our lips are a breath apart.
“Be more specific.” I restrain myself from resting my hips against hers, my dick already throbbing for contact. “Paint a picture.”
She bites her bottom lip. Silent.
“Don’t go shy now, little Pip. Tell me exactly how fast and furious you want this to be.” I close in until we’re almost nose to nose. “Do you want to grind against my thigh again, this time in the middle of the street?”
She sucks in a breath.
“Or would you prefer if I dropped to my knees and we gave my neighbors a proper show?”
“That’s not going to happen.” She tugs my shirt harder in warning.
I brush my cheek against hers to murmur in her ear. “But it’s dinnertime and I’m ready to eat.”
She chuckles. “My anatomy isn’t on the menu.”
“It’s definitely on mine.”
“Take me inside, Rome.”
I kiss her neck and slide my palms over her ass. “And do what? Tell me what I need to do for this to be done the right way.”
She drags me closer, leaving no space between her and my dick. “You’re going to fuck me.”
I groan, my cock throbbing. “Say it again.”
She grinds against my length. “Please fuck me, Rome.”
That filth on her lips will be my undoing.
I grab her waist and haul her over my shoulder, her squeal loud enough to wake the dead. I stalk along the drive, holding her legs tightly while she pleads for me to put her down, then continue inside to kick the front door shut behind us. “You’re going to regret not taking up the offer of food.”
“Why?” She pushes against my back, gaining leverage.
“Because you’re going to need all the energy you can get.” I march through the foyer, toward the kitchen. “In an hour, you’ll be begging for a snack.”
“An hour?”
“And that’s just the prelude. It’s going to be a long night.” I carry her down the hall, then slow as I approach my darkened bedroom.
I itch to turn on the light, but for Piper’s sake I leave everything in darkness, nothing but the glow of the moon seeping in from the open curtains.
I stop beside the bed to place her down in front of me, settling her with my hand on her hips.
She blinks up at me, all wide-eyed and beautiful.
God, she’s amazing. Innocent and inquisitive. Determined and divine.
If she understood the things I want to do to her, she wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye without blushing. Her face would be forever flamed. Her skin a profound shade of pink.
“What are you thinking?” she whispers.
“You don’t want to know.”
Her cheeks darken and she breaks eye contact to glance nervously around the shadowed room.
“Do you need a minute?” I keep my hands firm on her hips. Tight. No chance for her to flee.
“No. I just…”
“What is it?”
She turns back to me, her gaze lowered to my chest. “I like when you tell me what to do. I feel more confident that way.”
My cock jolts at the thought of dictating her pleasure. “Are you sure?”
She nods. “Does that bother you?”
“No.” I raise a hand to her chin, demanding she look at me. “It makes me fucking hard.”
She swallows and rakes her teeth over her lower lip.
“Take off your blouse.” I release her hips, our only contact visual as she straightens her shoulders then complies. Her eyes remain locked on mine with each released button before she carefully places her top on the bed. “Your jeans, too.”
She does as directed, lowering the zipper in silence, shucking the denim to kick the material across the carpet.
I wait until she’s settled. Until her chin is high and her shoulders strong before I look my fill. I take in the sight of her standing in nothing but white thin lace underwear, her breasts perky, her hips lush. “You’re beautiful.”
“You’ve seen me in a bikini before.”
I incline my head, reaching out, running my hands over her waist and along her stomach. I revel in her softness. The perfectly smooth skin. The goose bumps that awaken under my touch.
“I’m still dreaming about that number you wore at the resort.” I skate my palms higher, skimming the outer curves of her breasts as she shudders, trailing them up to her collarbone, then down her cleavage. “But I’ve had to rely on imagination when it comes to these.” I run my thumbs over her nipples, the darkened flesh only partially visible through the lace. “I want them in my mouth. Tell me that’s okay.”
She shakes her head, her voice breathy. “You don’t have to ask. I’ll let you know if I want you to stop.”
“You left that a little too late at Laguna Beach.”
“I won’t make the same mistake again.”
I lean down, kissing her collarbone, her sternum. She smells fucking delicious. Like strawberries and cream. The perfect meal.
Her hands find my shoulders as I descend, kissing my way over the lace, licking and sucking a sordid trail before moving from one breast to the other. She clings to me while I repeat the motion, my tongue lapping, my teeth nipping.
When her breathing increases—those inhales short and sharp—I clamp my mouth around a nipple and suck hard.
She cries out, her hands raising to my hair, tugging, pulling.
I pay her breasts a wealth of attention, memorizing the curves, the softness. I learn what she likes. How she turns languid with a delicate touch and shudders with delight at the slightest bite.
She loves a subtle tease and also the wicked pain.
I suck her nipples as I slide a hand down her waist, over her stomach to the delicate lace of her panties.
Everything is quiet, the world a distant memory. There’s only her hitched breathing. Her faint mewls of pleasure.
I inch my fingers beneath the elastic and pause, waiting for her hesitation, my pulse culminating in my shaft.
“Please,” she whispers, leaning into my touch.
“Please what, little Pip?” I ask against her flesh.
“Keep going.”
“Good girl.” I suck harder, flicking my tongue over her pebbled peak. I sink my fingers deeper into her panties, past the trimmed patch of curls to the smooth expanse of freshly shaven skin.
