She's No Angel, page 35
“Yes.”
“Lady McKenzie, let me ask you something. And a warning. This may be more personal than the question about the birthmark.”
“Go ahead,” Lady McKenzie said.
“When was the last time you made love to your husband?”
Lady McKenzie didn’t seem embarrassed at all by Arykah’s question. “Girl, with preparing for Women’s Week and getting everything in order, plus dealing with church folks and all their problems, I just don’t have much time for intimacy. It’s been probably about a month since I sexed him.”
Arykah threw her shoulders back and screamed out, “A month?”
Lady McKenzie thought for a moment. “It may even be longer than that. Being a pastor’s wife is tough.”
“Girl, you’re preaching to the choir, but a month is waaay too long. Heck, you gotta try to at least jump your man’s bones three times a week. You’re so busy with church stuff and fixing everybody else’s marriages that you neglect your own. That ain’t fair—to you or your man.”
“You’re right, Lady Arykah. You’ve been right about everything.” Lady McKenzie stood up, exasperated. She turned her back to Arykah. “I didn’t want to believe it, though, and I probably never would have, not on my own. Not without you painting the entire picture for me. That’s why God sent you here. God could have easily had me figure all this out on my own. But if I had gone to my husband and he had told that he was responsible for sending himself the items, I wouldn’t have believed him. If a man receives flowers, candy, and boxers, and says, ‘Honey, I sent them to myself,’ what woman in her right mind would believe him? I would have thought he’d had a one-night stand, and now the woman was obsessed or something, kind of like in that movie Fatal Attraction. It had to go down just like it did, and you had to break it down for me.”
“I don’t agree with the way Pastor McKenzie got your attention, but I understand why he did it. Most men would’ve just found themselves a side chick to do what their wives wouldn’t do. And trust me, honey, there are plenty of shameless tricks that are more than willing to walk in your shoes.”
“Humph,” Lady McKenzie commented, turning back around to face Arykah. “You ain’t gotta tell me. I’ve been in this game a long time. I know how it’s played.”
“So, you now know what you gotta do, right?”
“Yeah, I gotta get back on my honeymoon.”
“And take a real one,” Arykah advised. “Y’all need to go away, far away from the church and the members. ’Cause there will always be someone who needs you, but you gotta draw the line in the sand. Your marriage is suffering. Your husband has sent you the message that he is not happy.”
“I hear you, Lady Arykah. I’ll book a honeymoon getaway.”
“And stay on the honeymoon,” Arykah ordered. “When you return home and to the first lady duties, don’t forget that you have a man at home, waiting on you. Do you work outside the church?”
“No, and my husband doesn’t, either. We’re both cooped up in the church all day, every day.”
“Girl,” Arykah sang, “you mean to tell me that you’re around your husband twenty-four-seven and y’all ain’t getting it in? Are you nuts?”
Lady McKenzie shrugged her shoulders. “He always has someone in his office, and I’m busy, as well, planning church activities, updating our Web site, or counseling women.”
“Okay, listen, Joy. Can I call you Joy?”
“Absolutely.”
“Joy, you ought to feel blessed that after all these years, you have a husband who still lusts after you. I noticed how your husband looked at you in that pulpit. But the sad thing about it, Lady McKenzie, was that I don’t even think you noticed it. There was no reciprocity whatsoever on your part. He was saying all sorts of things to his beloved with his eyes, but you didn’t hear any of it.”
Lady McKenzie replayed her brief interaction with her husband in the pulpit. Arykah was right. He’d been crying out for his wife to show that she lusted after him the same way he did her. She’d completely missed that opportunity to let him know that she did, with just a small look in her eyes.
“You gotta be spontaneous,” Arykah continued. “Go into his office, lock that freakin’ door, go over to his desk, take your hand, and in one sweep, throw all that paperwork on the floor and give your husband what he’s been craving. Give him the shock of his life. Make his fantasy into a reality.”
“In the church?” Lady McKenzie asked.
“Girl, heck, yeah. Wherever. Y’all are married. It’s okay.” The first month of Arykah and Bishop Lance’s marriage, they had christened his office, her office, the fellowship hall, the library, all the Sunday school classrooms, and the choir room. “Go out and buy some sexy lingerie,” Arykah advised. “Bringing toys into your bedroom works wonders too.”
Lady McKenzie’s cheeks turned crimson red. “Toys?”
“Don’t knock it till you try it,” Arykah asserted. She figured that if Lady McKenzie saw the gadgets in the treasure chest that she kept hidden in the rear of her closet, she would have a heart attack. She and Lance were total freaks. “You better give that man what he wants. He’s looking for some spice. Try new things. Seduce him for a change. Get yourself some crotchless panties.”
Lady McKenzie opened her mouth wide, then quickly covered it. “Girl, what?”
“Do you wanna be your husband’s freak, or do you want someone else to be it? You better drop that holier-than-thou attitude and blow his mind. Yes, he is a pastor, but he’s a man first. All pastors have the same desire. They want an angel on the front pew and a dirty devil in the bedroom.”
Both Arykah and Lady McKenzie laughed so loud, they wouldn’t have been surprised if hotel security came to kick them out.
“Oh, Lady Arykah, you are too much,” Lady McKenzie said. “How can I ever thank you enough? You’ve helped me so much.”
Arykah waved her hand to dismiss the question. “No thanks is necessary. Just heed my advice and you’ll be all right. By the way, I taught on this very subject not too long ago at the First Lady Conference Angel and I met at. There is a YouTube link. I’ll make sure I send it to you.”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.” Lady McKenzie looked around. “Well, I guess I better head on out.”
Arykah stood.
“I really wish you and First Lady Angel would reconsider staying in California and would attend the conclusion of Women’s Week.”
“We’ve already made our flight arrangements. Besides, I’m really anxious to get to my bishop. He has no idea that I’m coming home this soon, and I can’t wait to surprise him.” Arykah shimmied her shoulders and winked.
“I know that’s right.” Lady McKenzie smiled. “I totally understand. But I don’t want you to be a stranger. Please come back and visit.” She took Arykah’s hands into her own.
“I promise I will,” Arykah said. “And I’m extending to you an invitation to Chicago, to be my special guest at Freedom Temple.”
Lady McKenzie smiled again. “And I accept.” She pulled Arykah in for a hug and thanked her again before exiting the hotel room.
Arykah put her dessert in the mini-fridge and then rushed back over to her bed to get back to the movie. “Man, I hope I ain’t missed my favorite line.” She got back to the television just in time for her favorite part. “Come on and give it to me, Denzel.” Arykah began beating on her chest while saying, “King Kong ain’t got nothin’ on me.”
Fortunately, Arykah hadn’t missed her part. But she couldn’t even keep her eyes open five minutes before she was snoring and slobbering. It was the sound of her phone beeping and buzzing to alert her that she had a text that woke her. She grabbed her phone, which was lying next to her on the bed. She noticed the time before reading the text. It was 6:35 a.m., and the text was from Angel.
Boarding the plane. Wish our trip had had a wonderful ending. Have a safe flight back to Chicago. Talk to ya soon.
Arykah rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She’d be sure to call Angel when she got home and tell her about Lady McKenzie’s visit to her hotel room the night before. It had turned out to be a wonderful ending, after all.
“Lord,” Arykah said aloud in prayer, “I thank you for choosing me and using me. I thank you even more that this mission is over. And although it truly is an honor to be called upon, I think I’m done solving other folks’ problems for a while. In Jesus’ name, amen.” Deep down inside, Arykah couldn’t lie; after going to Ohio to help Angel and then to California to help Lady McKenzie, she’d more than likely found her true calling as a speaker and mentor to other first ladies. But she still wanted a breather.
Arykah rolled back over to get in a few more hours of shut-eye before she concluded her stay in California with breakfast and a dip in the pool. Her eyes hadn’t been closed for five minutes before she was alerted that another text had come through. Again, she picked up the phone. It was yet another message from Angel.
She read the text message to herself. First Lady SOS!
Arykah then threw the phone back on the bed. All she could do was shake her head while staring up to the heavens. “Lord, I may have spoken too soon.”
About BLESSEDselling Author E. N. Joy (Everybody Needs Joy)
BLESSEDselling Author E. N. Joy is the author behind the New Day Divas, Still Divas, Always Divas, and Forever Divas series, all of which have been coined “Soap Operas in Print.” She is an Essence magazine best-selling author and has written secular books under the names Joylynn M. Jossel and JOY. Her title If I Ruled the World earned her a book blurb from Grammy Award–winning artist Erykah Badu. An All Night Man, an anthology she penned with New York Times bestselling author Brenda Jackson, earned the Borders best-selling African American romance award. Her urban fiction title Dollar Bill (Triple Crown Publications) was mentioned in Newsweek and has been translated into Japanese.
After thirteen years as a paralegal in the insurance industry, E. N. Joy divorced her career and married her mistress and her passion: writing. In 2000 she formed her own publishing company, where she published her books until landing a book deal with St. Martin’s Press. This award-winning author has been sharing her literary expertise on conference panels in her hometown of Columbus, Ohio, as well as in cities across the country. She also conducts publishing/writing workshops for aspiring writers.
Her children’s book The Secret Olivia Told Me, written under the name N. Joy, received a Coretta Scott King Honor from the American Library Association. The book was also acquired by Scholastic Books and has sold almost one hundred thousand copies. Elementary and middle school children have fallen in love with reading and creative writing as a result of the readings and workshops E. N. Joy gives in schools nationwide. In addition, she is the artistic developer for a young girls’ group called DJHK Gurls. She pens original songs, drama skits, and monologues for the group that deal with issues that affect today’s youth, such as bullying.
E. N. Joy served as the first content development editor for Triple Crown Publications and as the acquisitions editor for Carl Weber’s Urban Christian imprint for ten years. Now she does freelance editing, ghostwriting, write behinds, and literary consulting. Her clients have included New York Times best-selling authors, entertainers, aspiring authors, as well as first-time authors. Her notable literary consulting clients include actor Christian Keyes, singer Olivia Longott, and reality television star Shereé M. Whitfield.
You can visit BLESSEDselling author E. N. Joy at www.enjoywrites.com, or e-mail her at enjoywrites@aol.com.
OTHER BOOKS BY E. N. JOY:
Me, Myself and Him
She Who Finds a Husband
Been There, Prayed That
Love, Honor or Stray
Trying to Stay Saved
I Can Do Better All By Myself
And You Call Yourself a Christian
The Perfect Christian
The Sunday Only Christian
I Ain’t Me No More
More Than I Can Bear
You Get What You Pray For
When All Is Said and Prayed
One Sunday at a Time
Lady of the House
Ordained by the Streets
“A Woman’s Revenge” (Anthology: Best Served Cold)
Behind Every Good Woman
Flower in My Hair
Even Sinners Have Souls (Edited by E. N. Joy)
Even Sinners Have Souls Too (Edited by E. N. Joy)
Even Sinners Still Have Souls (Edited by E. N. Joy)
The Secret Olivia Told Me (N. Joy)
Operation Get Rid of Mom’s New Boyfriend (N. Joy)
Sabella and the Castle Belonging to the Troll (N. Joy)
About Nikita Lynnette Nichols
Nikita Lynnette Nichols, a Chicago native, was born in 1970. She attended Fort Dearborn Elementary School and graduated from the Academy of Our Lady High School in 1988.
In 2007 Miss Nichols signed a two-book deal with Urban Books. Her debut novel, titled A Man’s Worth, was released in 2008, and it was followed by the release of Amaryllis in 2009. Miss Nichols signed a second two-book deal with Urban Books and released her third novel, A Woman’s Worth, in 2010, followed by Crossroads in 2011. Miss Nichols was then offered a third book deal with Urban Books, and this led to the publication of her novel Lady Elect in 2012. Each of these titles made it to the best-sellers list at Black Expressions.
In 2012 Lady Elect was nominated for “Best Christian Fiction Book of the Year,” an African American Literary Awards honor. That same year Miss Nichols partnered with movie director/producer Zelie Dember-Slack to cowrite the screenplay Lady Elect, which was based on her latest book release. Miss Nichols became an award-winning screenplay writer in 2013, when Lady Elect was a finalist in the Beverly Hills International Film Festival and was among the finalists in the screenplay category at the Moondance International Festival. The year 2014 saw the release of her Damsels in Distress. Miss Nichols’s latest books, Lady Elect 2 and The Ugly Side of Me, were published in 2015.
Other Books by Nikita Lynnette Nichols:
None But the Righteous
A Man’s Worth
Amaryllis
Crossroads
A Woman’s Worth
Lady Elect
Damsels in Distress
Lady Elect 2
E.N. Joy, She's No Angel
