Saving Jay, page 22
part #3 of Breaking Free Series
After he dried off, Jay got into his bed and sat with his back against the headboard. We hadn’t spoken, and the silence seemed to only charge the energy between us. Jay watched me as I unbuttoned his dress shirt and dropped it to the floor. The room was dark, the moon providing our only light.
I held Jay’s gaze as I walked over to the bed and lifted the covers to get in with him. We stared at each other as I straddled his lap and ran my fingertips over his forehead and along his jaw. Jay’s eyes closed as I admired his handsome face. His lips parted, and I slowly leaned in, letting my mouth brush his.
I could almost feel the shame wrapped around him, and I wanted to destroy it. I needed Jay to know he was safe with me. His hands were holding my hips, and his fingers gripped me tighter when I kissed the corner of his mouth. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed, and I kissed them as I circled my hips on top of him. I wanted to give Jay the love he was so desperate for.
He opened his eyes and looked up at me. They were defenseless, full of lust and laced with fear. He was at my mercy. He was giving himself to me, trusting me with his heart, and I knew I had to treasure it.
I could feel him growing hard underneath me, and I rocked my hips. Reaching between us, I pushed my panties aside and guided him inside me. I pressed my lips against his, my tongue sweeping into his mouth, as I lowered myself onto him. My entire body tingled as he filled me, completing our connection.
I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against his. Our heavy breaths were the only sound in the room as I lifted myself again. Jay tilted his head back, and we watched each other as he used his hands to help lift me and bring me back down. The air between us was electric, intoxicating, and like nothing I’d ever felt before. We were lost in each other, carried away by the current of our indescribable energy.
Leaning forward, Jay placed a single kiss on my heart, and I felt it expand in my chest as my body approached its climax.
This thing between us was changing. It was becoming bigger than the both of us, stronger than anything either of us could control.
Our broken hearts were fusing as we made love in between those sheets.
I woke up alone in Jay’s bed with the realization that I was in love with him. Fear seeped into my bones as I stared at the white wall beside his bed. Just like Damon, Jay was fighting his own demons, and he now had more power over me than Damon ever had. Jay could bring me to my knees, he could tear me apart, and if he did, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever recover.
Sitting up, I noticed my black dress was hanging on the hook above Jay’s big mirror on the wall. My heels had been placed neatly under it. Getting out of bed, I slipped on Jay’s shirt again before going over to the large walk-in closet that Jay had begun filling with clothes for me. He hadn’t liked that I packed a bag every time I came over, and since I had refused to bring half my wardrobe to his apartment, he’d started buying me a new one. I found a pair of soft flannel pajama pants and pulled them on.
When I opened the bedroom door, I was met with the scent of bacon frying and the sounds of Nathan and Jay talking at the breakfast bar. I’d forgotten it was Friday, and Nathan was here cooking Jay’s meals for the week.
As I got closer, Jay turned to look at me from his stool. I searched his face for any sign of regret, but I didn’t see it. After last night, I had been terrified that he wouldn’t look at me the same, but his eyes were still warm.
His lips lifted on the ends as he watched me approach.
“Good morning,” I said, running a hand through my hair and smoothing it over my shoulder.
Jay wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer. His lips grazed my neck before he murmured, “Good morning.” He seemed lighter somehow…happier.
I giggled as Jay nipped my earlobe between his teeth, and Nathan peered up from the stove with a smirk.
“Morning, Nathan,” I said, swatting Jay on the chest to get him to stop.
I liked Nathan. I’d met him about a month ago when I’d woken up in Jay’s apartment and found Nathan cooking breakfast. The three of us had ended up sitting together and talking for hours about everything from food to Nathan’s love life. Jay had seemed to know very little about him, but the more they’d talked, the more interest he had taken in Nathan. I’d even say they were becoming friends.
“It smells amazing in here,” I said, walking around the counter to get my favorite mug from Jay’s cabinet.
I could feel his eyes on me as I poured my coffee, and I glanced up to see I was right. He was sitting there, watching me, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“What?” I asked with a grin as I put the coffee pot back.
“I love watching you in my apartment. It took a while, but you seem to finally be comfortable here.”
I smiled as I went to get my creamer from the fridge. He’s right. I am getting comfortable here.
“You should move in with me,” he said.
His words shocked me so much that I almost dropped the creamer.
I walked back and carefully set it on the counter. My eyes were wide as I looked back and forth between Nathan and Jay. Jay was intently staring at me with no sign of humor on his face while Nathan fought the smile threatening to break his face in two.
“Wha-what?” I stuttered.
“Move in with me,” Jay repeated, completely confident and determined.
I wasn’t sure what to say. Honestly, I felt incredibly flattered but totally overwhelmed. I wanted so much to live happily ever after with Jay. I’d fantasized about living with him, marrying him, and even having his babies, but I wasn’t ready for all of that yet.
Am I?
Jay already had the power to annihilate me, and I was scared of giving him more.
“I don’t think…I mean…” I paused to glance at Nathan again as he moved to the sink behind us. “It’s a little early for that, don’t you think?” I whispered.
“No. We’re together most of the time anyway.”
Jay and I stared at each other for a few seconds, and I kept waiting for him to drop it or concede, but he didn’t. He really thought it was a good idea, and I felt that fear stirring inside me again.
“Can we talk about it later?”
Jay gave me a lopsided grin and nodded. “Yeah.”
I guessed he was just happy I hadn’t said no.
After adding my creamer, I took a sip from my coffee and looked out the wall of windows behind Jay. I needed time alone to think things through. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, but I wasn’t ready to jump, having no idea what was waiting for me at the bottom.
“Hey,” Jay said, his big hand covering mine.
I glanced down at it before meeting his gaze. His deep blue eyes were focused on me, and I was terrified of what he might see.
I gave him a weak smile before responding, “Hey.”
“You okay?”
I nodded and lifted my cup again to take a sip, my hand slipping out from under his. “I should head into work early today. I’ve got some catching up to do before my first client comes in.”
I knew Jay could tell something was bothering me.
He watched me for a second, his eyes narrowing a little, before he muttered, “Yeah. Okay.”
I went back to his room to get ready before he could realize just how scared I was.
Jay
I knew Jade wanted to take things slow, and I respected that. I did. But how long am I supposed to wait? How long am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love her and keep quiet so that I won’t scare her away?
I’d had to be honest with Jade. I’d promised.
Last night, when we’d made love, it’d changed something inside of me. I’d never cried in front of a woman before. I’d never even let anyone close enough to see when I was hurting. Jade was the first person to ever see every piece of me, and she hadn’t run away. She’d cried with me and held me. She’d stayed.
In my life, no one had ever stayed.
I’d needed her to know that I was all in. She was the only woman I wanted, the only one I’d ever loved.
Jade
Jay pulled me toward the dance floor as the woman at the piano started playing another song. We stood in the middle of a group of people, all of them seeming like props in our own private scene.
Jay’s arm wrapped around my waist as the woman began singing Elvis’s “Only Fools Rush In.” I looked into his eyes and felt every word of the song as if it had been written just for me. We began swaying to the music with my hand resting in Jay’s, the warmth of his body radiating into mine. I was such a fool for thinking I could fight this, believing I could think clearly in this crazy haze our connection had created.
He had me. He’d had me since the moment he looked into my eyes.
There was a knock on my office door, and it brought me back to the present, three weeks after that dance and only hours after Jay had asked me to move in with him. I turned and saw Dustin leaning against the doorframe.
“You okay, boss?”
I nodded and looked back at my desk, acting as if he’d caught me working. “Yeah. What’s up?”
“Your client, Denise, is here.”
I checked the clock on my computer and realized it was already eleven. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll be right out.”
Taking in a deep breath, I sighed as I stood up and checked myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and rimmed with tears I hadn’t even realized were there. I sucked in air through my nose and quickly wiped under my eyes, trying to hide any evidence that I was upset. I had no reason to be. I should be happy, ecstatic even.
God, what’s wrong with you?
I stared into my own eyes in the mirror, willing myself to see how lucky I was, how good I should feel. Straightening my back, I forced a smile and checked my hair before going to meet my next client.
When I walked into the lobby, Trix was at his station, setting up, and Jackson was tattooing a woman’s leg. They both looked at me. I noticed an older woman sitting on the couch, and she sat up when she saw me. I smiled as I made my way over to her.
“Hi. You must be Denise,” I said.
I put my hand out for her as she stood up.
She had a gentle maternal look about her, and I felt my smile turn genuine as I looked into her eyes.
She took my hand. “Yes, you must be Jade.”
My smile grew. “That’s me. Are you ready?” I asked, tilting my head toward the back.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Denise grabbed her purse from the couch and followed me back to my station.
When she’d made her appointment, she’d left a few pictures with Dustin and explained what she wanted, so I already had something drawn up for her. On her back, she was getting two lovebirds huddled together on a branch with the words True Love Never Dies in a banner underneath them.
“Oh, that’s beautiful,” she murmured as I showed her my drawing. “That’s exactly how I pictured it in my mind.”
I noticed her eyes welling with tears when she glanced up at me.
“It’s perfect.”
I smiled at her as my heart swelled in my chest. It was an amazing feeling when my work brought emotions out of people.
I began making my stencil as Denise sat down and looked around the room.
“My daughter tells me you were on television,” she said.
I traced my lines, and I nodded. “Yeah, for a little while. They started filming a reality show at the last shop where I worked in Boston.”
“Well, that must’ve been a good time.”
I laughed. “Never a dull moment, that’s for sure.”
About twenty minutes later, I had the stencil on Denise’s back, and she was lying on her stomach, naked from the waist up. My private room came in handy for tattoos like this one. This was going to be her first tattoo, so I wasn’t sure how long she would last under the needles, but she’d said she wanted to try to get it all done in one session.
I dipped my needles in black ink and paused with my hand on her back. “Okay. Are you ready?”
“Yes.” Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath.
I began my first line, and she remained relaxed. I usually tried to talk to my clients, especially in the beginning, just to help keep their minds off the pain.
“So, do you mind if I ask what this tattoo is about?” I asked over the buzz of my machine.
“It’s for my husband. I lost him a year ago today.”
I glanced up at her, my eyebrows rising. “Wow. Crazy how that worked out, huh?”
“It is,” she said, smiling, as she peeked one of her eyes open. “It’s meant to be. I don’t believe in coincidences.”
“You don’t?” I asked as I got more ink.
“No. The way I see it, everything that happens in our lives leads to something else, which takes us to the next thing. It all eventually makes us who we are, even the smallest of moments. I was meant to be here—right here, right now, with you.”
I paused to wipe her back before bringing my machine back to life. My thoughts drifted to Jay and whether or not we were meant to be together.
“My husband was a quiet man,” Denise said, snapping me out of my daze.
I got back to filling in my stencil.
She continued, “He was strong but also prideful and stubborn.” She smiled with her eyes closed.
“How did you two meet?”
“He walked in on my ex-boyfriend punching me in the men’s bathroom.”
I stopped breathing and lifted my hand from her back long enough to glance at her face. She looked so calm and peaceful while lying there as she talked about that moment like it was merely a small blip in her past.
“He beat the shit out of the bastard, and then we were inseparable,” she said.
We both smiled.
“Were you scared?”
“Of him?” she asked, peeking her eyes open again.
I nodded, wondering if I shouldn’t have asked. “Were you scared of being hurt again?”
She sighed. “At first, I had a hard time trusting him. I had a hard time believing he wouldn’t hurt me, but as time went on, I learned to. I realized I had to forgive—not only my ex for what he’d done, but also myself.”
“For what?”
“For letting fear take over my heart. Love is fearless. It has to be.”
Jay
I’d spent most of my day working at the office. I’d bought some prime real estate in Miami for a new restaurant that I planned to open in just a few months. A lot of work still had to be done if we wanted to meet our deadline.
I hadn’t heard from Jade all day, but I’d decided to give her space and time to think. I could tell she had been a little shocked this morning when I asked her to move in. I knew it was an important decision, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous myself. I’d lived alone my entire adult life, and it would be a big adjustment, but it was one I was ready for.
I came home around six, and after eating some dinner, I went into my office to prepare for a conference call with my head chef and restaurant manager in Florida. I contemplated calling Jade, but I decided to wait. She’d call me when she was ready.
Taking my jacket off and loosening my tie, I poured myself a gin and tonic and sat down just as the phone on my desk began to ring.
I hit the speaker button. “Hello?”
“Good evening, Mr. Clarke. It’s Megan and Maurice.”
I began rolling up my sleeves. “Yes. How are things going?”
Megan began talking, but I was distracted when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. After retrieving it, I saw that I’d received a text from Jade.
Can I come over?
“We’ve got an appointment with the contractors on Monday. We expect to have a definite timeline after that,” Megan said over the phone.
“It’s important that we allow ourselves some leeway for unexpected problems. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that something always goes wrong. We need to prepare for that and make time for adjustments. I’d like to have the contractors out of there at least a month before opening,” I said.
“Yes, sir.”
Lifting my cell phone, I quickly texted a response to Jade.
Of course. I’m in my office.
I’d given Jade a key to my apartment about a week ago, and this would be the first time she’d use it.
I began talking to Maurice about his menu and the vendors he intended to work with when Jade appeared at my office door. She was wearing a black miniskirt with a black sheer top that showed her bra, and red heels were on her feet. She had red lipstick on her lips, and my body instantly reacted to the way she looked. No matter what she wore, she always held a level of class and rebellion that was so sexy on her. I could feel myself getting hard as she began walking toward me.
“We’ve been in touch with the advertising agency you suggested,” Megan said, pulling my thoughts back from the gutter.
“Okay, good. Have you talked with Mike?” I asked as I stood up.
Jade stopped next to me and gave me a devious smile after her eyes raked over my body. She knew what I was thinking.
“Yes, sir. He’s going to meet with us in a couple of weeks with some ideas. We’ve also got them working on the logo.”
“Take off your shirt,” I whispered into Jade’s ear.
“What about all the city licenses? How are those coming along?” I asked Megan.
Jade began unbuttoning her blouse.
I licked my lips as she exposed her red bra and tossed her shirt onto the floor.
“We’re still waiting to hear back from them.”
“Make sure you follow up. How about the staff? Have you hired anyone for the back of the house yet, Maurice?”
Taking Jade’s hand, I led her to the wall next to my desk where a large mirror was hanging. Maurice was talking to me as I walked to the closest curtain and untied the knot in the rope used to hold them open. I pulled it out and watched as Jade stood in front of the mirror. She bit her bottom lip when she noticed the rope in my hand.
