Remember: A Symbols of Love Novel, page 22
She looks back at my mother, her eyes glitter with anger and her smile disappears. And even though Milly doesn’t move, my mother takes a step back. “You should leave. Don’t make a scene, just go. Both of you. Now.”
My mother looks at me, her eyes full of apathy. “You’ve always been your father’s son. I was trying to help you. Marriage isn't about love and devotion. Ask her mother where that got her.” She tips her chin at Milly. “It’s your life. I’m leaving for Marseille in three days. I’ll be gone for the rest of the summer. I’ll call you when I get back.”
She looks at Nicola and shrugs. “I tried. But clearly, you’ve lost this one. Have some pride and let’s go.”
She turns and walks out of the room without another word. Nicola looks at me for a second, starts to speak, but then she turns away and follows my mother out of the room.
Milly turns her body into mine and pulls me into a tight hug, her shoulders are shaking. When I pull her face back I see she's crying.
“Dean, I’m so sorry . . .” She sobs, her eyes mournful. I’m taken aback.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because you don’t deserve any of this. You should have nothing but love. I'm sorry I’ve always been a source of tension between you and your mother.”
I grab her chin and force her to look me in the eyes.
“Listen to me because I want you to understand me.” I wait for her to nod before I continue.
“I’ve been alone most of my life. Until I met you in high school, everyone always looked at me and saw this big athletic guy with blond hair, good at sports, solid academically. I had a car sophomore year. I lived in a big house. Everyone always thought those things were who I am. Even my parents, they were proud of all of the things I accomplished. That’s all they talked to me about. It was really hard to know that the things which made them proud really had nothing to do with who I was. They didn’t care that I was someone who defended people from bullies. They had no clue I hated cheese or that my childhood best friend moved away in the middle of our freshman year of high school. Or that I was so lonely, I used to have to force myself to go to school, every single day.
“The people at school just thought I was some big, rich jock who had girls throwing themselves at him. None of them knew I had debilitating anxiety which made all the attention I got from excelling at the things I enjoyed doing my biggest nightmare. And then I met you. And suddenly someone was asking me questions about myself rather than asking me for favors. You treated me like I was a person.
“When you found me at seventeen years old in my lacrosse uniform, crying in my car because my mother had given my dog away, you didn’t even bat an eye. You sat down next to me, put your arm around me, and let me cry. And then you told me you loved me. You were my first true friend. You were the first person who noticed how miserable I was from the attention and made yourself my body guard.”
She giggles a little. “Well, that’s my strength, or my talent, anyway.”
I glance at her, happy for the moment of levity.
“What’s that, Red?” I ask, already knowing what she will say.
“I’m a great judge of character and I have the courage of my convictions,” she says with a grin. And that’s exactly right. I kiss her quickly and then continue.
“And Milly, I’ve loved you desperately since then. You’ve always been the only person who has tried to look beyond the exterior. The only person who has never wanted more from me other than my time.” I grin at her.
“Don’t get me wrong, I know the problems described are nothing compared to things people go through every day. But, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy as fuck to have found you. I know that you were my reward after a lifetime of feeling misunderstood and unseen. So, if this is what I had to go through to end up with a woman like you; have that woman love me, too. To have that woman stand up and defend me? I’d live my lonely, miserable childhood all over again. As long as I knew that at the end of the day I would end up with you.
“You’re the love of my life. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. And one day, you’re going to be my wife and have my babies.” Her tears are flowing freely again, and I lean in to kiss her lightly.
I wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side. I pull my phone out and text Greg.
“Come on, let’s go home.” And I say this, meaning let’s get out of here. Because home, to me, has come to mean anywhere Milly is.
She looks up and smiles that smile at me before she nods at me. “Yeah, D. Let’s go home.”
34
June 2015
* * *
Paris, France
We arrived in Paris this morning. Anthony, my mother, and I all flew in and went to the hotel Simon reserved for us. It’s incredible, sumptuously decorated and with a butler assigned to each room. Lilly arrived before us and is already here. I wish Dean had been able to come, but he had a big investor’s meeting in Houston. It will be a fun trip anyway, all of us are sharing the same suite. It will be like a sleepover.
Simon’s brother, Kyle, his nephew, Henry, are staying in the rooms on either side of us. Simon and Addie are in the hotel, too, but on a different floor so that Addie doesn’t see us.
Tomorrow, we’re all heading to Versailles to witness Simon’s very thoughtful and romantic proposal.
It’s wonderful for all of us to be together again. It’s so different from our last trip when Addie and my mother walked on eggshells around each other and ended up having an epic argument. Now, they have resolved their issues and I know this trip will be very different.
The FBI has left us alone the last few months. I haven’t heard from Agent Walker in more than a month.
Kevin’s child custody petition and claims didn’t carry any weight with the court. We are on the same schedule as we have been while things are pending. Anthony lives with me, sees his dad whenever he wants, and Kevin has him officially every other weekend. He also has him for spring break, and every other Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry things didn’t work out the way I’d hoped when we were first married, but I think all three of us will be happier with this arrangement—at least in the long term.
Kevin and Rachael broke up right before we went to court. Kevin contacted me the night before our hearing to say he would drop his claim for custody if I would take him back. I can’t imagine any circumstances under which I could live with him again. Now that I’ve tasted the sweetness and spice of real love and partnership, I can’t believe I had been willing to live with Kevin in a state of forced companionship for the rest of my life.
We’re getting ready to head down to the suite Kyle and Henry are sharing, where we’ve all agreed to meet for dinner. This will be Anthony’s first time meeting Henry, who is just a month past his first birthday. He’s been talking about his cousin Henry non-stop.
Lilly’s been in a great mood, too. Her trip to DC was short, but very sweet. She just seems to be in a better place overall. This is the happiest I’ve seen her in years. And I can’t wait to get a chance to talk to her and find out what’s behind it.
Just then my phone pings with a text. When I look at the screen I see it’s from Dean. This brings an involuntary smile to my face. We’ve been having the best time over the last month. His mother left for the South of France a few days after his party, and we haven’t heard from her since.
I’ll never understand her determination to keep us apart, but it’s nice she’s gone back to being self-absorbed. Dean is more relaxed than I’ve seen him since we’ve gotten back together.
I open the text and my smile vanishes as I read it.
Dean: Red, something has come up. I’ve got to head to Sedona today. I should be back in a couple of days, definitely before you and Ant Man get back. Hope you’re having a good time. Love you, D.
I re-read it a couple of times and can’t shake my feeling of utter confusion. His mother is in Marseille. Why in the world does he have to go to Sedona?
He’s been in Houston on business and was supposed to fly back to DC today. I hope nothing has happened to his mother. That thought spurs me into action, I exit the messenger application and open my contacts. I find Dean’s number and press the little blue phone icon.
It goes straight to voicemail. I decide against leaving one and simply return his text.
Me: D, what’s come up? Is your mom okay? Call me when you get this.
I put my phone away and walk out into our suite’s sitting room where Lilly, my mom, and Anthony are waiting.
“It’s about time. I was just about to send Anthony in for you.” Lilly stands up and pokes a finger in my ribs.
“Cut it out.” I swat her hand playfully and grab Anthony’s hand. “I had to call Dean really quick.”
“Oh, my God, you are so whipped. You can’t even go a few hours without talking to him?” Lilly laughs.
“Lillian, stop teasing your sister. Millicent, you’re going to make us late. We don’t want Simon’s brother to have a bad impression of us.”
My mother looks nervous and I feel bad for delaying us. She has been on tenterhooks since we arrived. When I talked to her about it in the taxi she said she was just excited about Simon proposing. And nervous that Addie, who in general hates surprises, wouldn’t react well.
“Sorry, Mom. Let’s go.” I smile at her. I grab her hand to give it a quick squeeze before I grab my purse.
* * *
* * *
Dinner was great. My mother though, was clearly distressed and seemed to grow more and more so as the night wore on. She excused herself back to our room less than an hour after we got there. She told us she wasn’t feeling well. She declined my offer to walk her back down to our room. Anthony is smitten with Henry. He insisted on feeding him during dinner and entertained Henry all night long.
Simon’s brother, Kyle, is practically his twin. His hair, longer on top than Simon’s, is a gorgeous mop of silky chocolate corkscrew curls. He’s got a very easygoing personality. He laughs a lot and has been the life of the party all evening. He’s rakishly charming and irreverently funny. And he loves Addie. It’s obvious from the way he talks about her that they are very close.
I’m so glad she has her own little family here. Tomorrow is going to be such a special day, and I'm grateful Simon wanted to share it with us.
Cara and Louis are the happiest wedding planning couple ever. Their wedding is in six months and they are so relaxed about the whole thing that I wonder if maybe they are on drugs. It’s not a small affair they are having, either.
Louis’ family is an aristocratic one. His father is an Earl. And even in this day and age that still means something. Louis’ older brother, Harry, will inherit the Earldom one day. But Louis, even as the spare heir, is still expected to get married on the family estate. Yes, they have an estate. With its own chapel and vicar, which is why they are getting married there instead of Houston where Cara is from.
Louis is also the first of his brothers to get married. Addie’s told me it’s going to be a grand affair—the Queen herself has been invited. But you would never know it. Cara seems to know none of the details, and Louis can’t seem to keep his eyes off Cara long enough to pay attention to anything anyone is saying.
Lilly, Anthony, and I get back to our suite with Lilly carrying a sleeping Anthony to my room for me.
I walk over to my mother’s room to check on her. When I open the door, I find it empty. I step back out into the suite’s sitting room and look around.
Lilly and Anthony are already in my room when I call out, “Mom?” It’s odd she would leave the room without saying anything. But, maybe she wanted some fresh air.
Lilly walks out of the room, looking around. “Is Mom not here?” She sounds as surprised as I feel.
“Nope,” I say and plop down on the couch, kicking my shoes off.
“That’s so weird. Should we be worried?” Lilly asks as she takes a seat next to me.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
Our mother speaks no French, but I can’t imagine that would stop her from roaming. She’s always liked to do that.
“Maybe she just went on a walk to clear her head, “I posit, not entirely convinced of this myself. I decided to shake off my bad thoughts and focus on getting some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. And then we are going back to London for a few days before we head back to the States.
“I’m going to go down to the bar and get a drink,” Lilly says suddenly. She's growing out her hair again, and she has dyed it back to its natural dark brown.
“Okay, I’m going to wait here and try to get some reading in. I’m sure Mom will be back soon. I’ll go to bed when she gets back.” We smile at each other.
“Glad you’re reading again. I know it was one of your favorite things to do when we were kids. Glad you’re getting back to it.”
With a, “I’ll see you later” she's off. That is so Lilly, she needs alone time. After group gatherings, she always disappears on her own for a while. She just needs to regroup and clear her mind.
I grab my Kindle and settle down to read.
When my mother comes back in hours later, I'm asleep. So, I don’t see her come back in with a suitcase in her hand. I don’t see that her hair is a mess and her clothes are askew. I won’t know anything about what she really spent her night doing until all hell breaks loose.
35
* * *
I’m reeling as I board my flight back to DC I don’t remember anything that happened since last night clearly. I haven’t slept; I haven’t eaten. All I think about is that I’m about to lose everything.
I’ll have to tell Milly what I’ve discovered. I couldn’t live with myself or her if I didn’t. But I know that in telling her, I’m basically destroying any hope I have of being with her.
I barely hear the flight attendant offer me a drink when I sit down. I'm completely lost in thought. I can’t believe that less than forty-eight hours ago, I felt like I had everything I ever wanted.
On Friday morning, I was just leaving my final meeting of my trip to discuss a project I was an investor in. My client and I had met for breakfast at the Le Peep in Rice Village. It was an old favorite of my dad’s. He used to meet his buddies for breakfast here almost every Saturday and started taking me with him when I was thirteen.
As I walked out to my car, I heard someone call my name. I turned around to see a man I recognized right away.
“Hey, Mr. Holly,” I greeted him with a warm smile as he approached my car, smiling wide.
Ed Holly had been my dad’s insurance agent and one of his best friends. I hadn’t seen him since my dad’s funeral. I was happy to see him looking so well all these years later. He’s just as tall as he ever was, though he’s got a lot less hair. He looks like he takes care of himself, and I remember that he was a runner like my dad. Which was how they met in the first place.
“Dean, I told you to call me, Ed, son,” he returned warmly.
I laughed. “Ed, good to see you. How are you doing? How’s Mrs. Holly?” I ask, remembering his kind wife, who always sent my dad home with something delicious, sweet, and homemade. My mother couldn’t stand her.
“Oh, everyone’s great. I’ve got two grandchildren now. I’m going to retire in a couple of years. And I’ve found an agent I’m grooming to take over my business. Can’t leave my clients in a lurch now, can I?” he returned jovially, his accent showing his East Texas roots.
“How’s your mama? She doing okay? I heard she moved to Arizona. I’ve been keeping up with you online. And I’m glad you’re doing so well. It must be a relief to able to take care of her now,” he says while patting my shoulder.
I can’t hide my confusion while I say, “Well, thank goodness, my dad’s life insurance policy was so big she didn’t have to wait for me to make it big before she was able to buy her house and settle into her life of retired luxury.”
And clearly, now I was the one confusing him. He looks utterly perplexed when he says, “What life insurance policy? Did he buy one from someone else?”
My heart stopped.
“No. I thought he’d bought one from you three years before he died. That’s what his suicide note said. That he was worth more dead than alive because of that policy,” I said this slowly, ice cold fear starting to prick every single nerve ending in my body.
“Dean, your parents stopped paying his policy about a year before he died. He told me he couldn’t afford it anymore, which shocked me. But he said your mother had some debts and he needed the income for that. He didn’t have a policy in place when he died,” he says equally slowly.
Concern spreads on his face. I told him maybe he had another policy, and I might be misremembering his note. It had been a long time ago. I changed the subject and asked about his grandkids before he was saying goodbye and continued on his way.
This was when I started reeling. Where did the money, the millions of dollars my mother claimed came from the life insurance, really come from? My mother told me the insurance payout came within days of my dad’s death. My dad’s note, which I could never forget after reading it so many times, said specifically that he bought the policy from Ed three years ago.
My mother is in Marseille, and I know calling her won’t get any answers to my questions. So, I do the only thing that makes sense, I decide to go and search her house while she's away. I shot Milly a text, but purposely didn’t say anything more than where I was going.
I didn’t want to upset or worry her while she was in Paris with her family for what was supposed to be a happy occasion.
And there might be a very simple explanation. What that could be? I didn’t know. But right now, nothing I can think of seemed more plausible than this just being some sort of mistake.
