Love Me 2, page 11
part #2 of Love Me Series
She let out a sarcastic laugh. “And that, my beautiful daughter, is why you are too young to have a boyfriend. You are too young to understand love. I love your father so much that I’m willing to walk away because if I stay, he and I won’t do anything but continue to disrespect each other. I’m going to tell you something that I’ll tell Jada when she’s old enough to hear it, which is for you to know your worth. I don’t give a damn if you were with someone for fifty years, you don’t stay and let a man treat you like shit just because the two of you have history! That’s not love! That’s settling! Remember that,” she said.
“Are you going to move on and date someone else?” I finally asked the million dollar question.
I wanted to see if she would look me in my eyes and lie to me. For the most part, my mom always kept it real with me. She never spared me from the truth, but if it happened to be one of those things where I was inquiring on too much or if it was out of my place, she wouldn’t tell me.
“Journey, I’m thirty-three years old, meaning that I still have a whole life to live. My life doesn’t stop because your father and I are no longer together. Switch the subject. I don’t like having these types of conversations with you. How was your day at school?” she asked, switching the subject herself.
Funny how she didn’t answer the question. I didn’t bother to answer her question either, especially since I didn’t even stay in school today. The music all of a sudden stopped playing in the car, and the name, Za’Kai, popped up on the screen. I watched as she quickly snatched her phone off the car charger, so the name would remove itself from the screen, but it was too late because I’d already seen it. That had to have been Bully calling. It just had to. I pretended not to pay her any attention as I looked out of the window, but lowkey, I was dying inside, hoping that she answered the phone for him, and she did.
“Hello?” she answered. Any other time, her call volume would be so loud, but it was funny how I couldn’t hear a damn thing he was saying after she answered it. She let out a little school girl laugh before she proceeded to speak again. “I’m in the car with my daughter, so I’m not going to answer that. Yes, I could use that. No, remember I told you that I have to go to the dinner tonight. Okay. Bab—I mean, Za’Kai, okay!” she went on to say. Did this woman almost just call this man baby? Oh, hell no! “Yes, I’ll call you when I get home.”
I didn’t know what the hell he was saying to her, but it had her smiling and looking crazy as I watched her from the corner of my eye. I’d never seen my mom act like this with any man, not even my own father, and they’d been together more than my whole fuckin’ life! I didn’t know how to take this on. It was so obvious in my mother’s voice that she was in love, and I hated it. She was reminding me of how I used to be when I first got with Raheem. I was so in love and sprung over him that my cheeks were always hurting due to all of the smiling that he would have me doing.
When she finally ended her phone call, I wanted to question her about it, but I knew that she would instantly shut it down and tell me that I needed to stay in a child’s place. Plus, my auntie Sky started calling, so I didn’t even have time to question her about this man.
9
Takari Evans
“Mommy, if we eat all of our food tonight, can we have ice cream?” that was my greedy daughter in the backseat as I headed in the direction of Morton’s, which was where Jerrod’s mother planned to have her birthday dinner tonight. Lord knows I didn’t want to go to this, but for whatever reason, she’d called me earlier in the week, damn near begging that I come along with the kids.
Because Jerrod and I were no longer together, I didn’t see why the hell I had to go, but his mother was so damn good at convincing you to do something that you didn’t want to do that I ended up agreeing to go. Basically, giving in to her resounding pleas. Lord knows there were times when I just couldn’t be in the same room with her. Plus, I didn’t want to face Jerrod. Usually, whenever I saw him, it was for a few minutes because I’d either just be dropping the kids off or standing at the doorway and waiting for him to bring them back.
Another month had gone by, and he still hadn’t signed the divorce papers, even after I had my lawyer send them over again. It was frustrating as hell to me because I felt that as long as he and I were married, Za’Kai was going to continue labeling me as his friend, and I hated that because I felt like I was so much more to him than that. Although I hadn’t said it to him yet, I loved Za’Kai. I promise it wasn’t his ability to fuck me to sleep that had me saying this. It was how attentive he was with me, how loving, caring, handsome, and smart he was that had me sure that I loved him. He could still be that asshole that he was back at the movies, or even at the park, but most of the time, I got the version of Za’Kai that would have me weak in my damn knees.
So much more had happened between us since we had sex at his grandmother’s house. We’d been on dates on the weekends, he’d popped up at my job some days to take me to lunch, and I’d spent time at his home cooking dinner for him. I loved what we had going, but as long as my last name was Evans, I didn’t know how far he and I were going to go. I felt that Za’Kai liked me just as much as I liked him, but there were times when he would pull back or make little comments, basically just to remind my ass that I was still married.
“Yes, I’ll let you have ice cream,” I told my daughter and watched through the rearview mirror as she did her little happy dance, which made me laugh.
Jaden and Jada couldn’t care less about coming to this dinner because as long as they had food, they were riding. It was Journey and I who didn’t want to be there. We’d been in the car now for almost fifteen minutes, and she hadn’t said a word. She couldn’t possibly despise coming to this dinner more than I did.
I took my time getting to the restaurant, but it was only so slow that I could drive before I finally pulled the car up to valet. I looked in the valet parking lot, and I quickly found Jerrod’s Rolls Royce. I said a silent prayer, asking God to allow me to be on my best behavior tonight, and I quickly got out of the car. I helped Jada out of her booster seat while Journey helped Jaden, and in no time, we were walking into the five-star restaurant. I quickly let the hostess up front know that our party was already there, and she showed us to the back.
First thing that I noticed when we made it to the table was that Jerrod’s brothers, Raymond and Elvan were there. I didn’t think that they would come, especially since they no longer stayed in Miami, and we were celebrating their mom’s birthday in the middle of the week, but there they were. Raymond sat next to his beautiful wife and their two sons while Elvan was there alone, which wasn’t shocking since he was a single man.
“Aww, look who made it. Don’t you all look so beautiful,” Jerrod’s phony ass mother said as she stood up from her chair to come over and give us all hugs.
I could feel eyes on me, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Jerrod was staring. Hell, I’d be staring at me too if I saw me walk in the building looking this damn good. I wanted this man to see just what the hell he’d given up, so I’d dressed in a red, silk spaghetti strapped blouse, which exposed my entire back. I wore skin tight, high waist jeans that made me look like I had a little booty on me, and I paired the outfit with a pair of nude colored Christian Louboutin heels. I’d been flat ironing my hair too much these days, so tonight I went back to my natural roots and was wearing my hair in its curly state. I only applied a little bit of makeup to my face, and before I left, I took a picture in the full length mirror of my bedroom and sent it to Za’Kai. When his response was, don’t get fucked up, that was all I needed to hear to know that I looked damn good tonight.
I knew Jerrod was pissed! I had pushed out three fuckin kids for his ass, yet I managed to look the same way that I did when we first met. He had to be the silly fool that Teddy Pendergrass was talking about in his song. The whole town is laughing at me!
“Takari, baby, I thought you and I had a discussion about this. You said that you were going to stop putting these braids in the girls’ hair. You know I hate these things,” she said as she examined my kids’ hair like they had lice or something. She was literally standing there, with a look of pure disgust as she held a braid on each of the girls’ head.
“Look how tight these are. It couldn’t possibly be good for their hair. My grandchildren have beautiful hair that deserve to be in pony tails or something,” she stated after she finished giving all three of her grandchildren hugs.
This was that criticizing bullshit that I was talking about. No matter what, she always felt the need to judge me on my mothering skills, and I hated that shit. I remember one day about three or four years ago, the weather had dropped a little bit in Miami. I want to say that it was in the sixties. We were celebrating Jerrod’s birthday, and instead of Journey having on a sweater or something, she had on a long-sleeved shirt. Mannn, you would have thought that I fed my daughter bleach by the way her ass was carrying on. That year for Christmas, she ended up giving me book on parenting as a gift.
Back then, it was due to all of the respect that I had for Jerrod that I never checked her about her ways, but I was no longer with Jerrod. Since I no longer owed him any loyalty, his mother could easily catch these words, and if she wanted to, she could catch these hands as well.
“With all due respect, Mrs. Evans, I carried these kids for nine months. I went through hours of labor with pains that were so intense that to this day, I cannot find the right words to describe them, so if I want to put braids in my daughter’s hair, then I have every right to do so. As their mother, I can make decisions like that. Not that I need to justify my doings, but my mom put braids in my hair until I was probably sixteen years old, and my hair is down my back, so trust me, my kids will be okay,” I let her know.
I could tell that she was caught off guard by my words. She was standing there with her mouth wide the hell open and with a look of astonishment on her face, as if I was wrong for saying what I had just said to her.
“Ma, chill out. Leave the kids alone. Their hair looks nice,” Jerrod said, standing up from his seat and making his way over to where we were standing.
Funny how he’d never stood up for me before when it came to his mother, but now that he and I were no longer together and going through a divorce, he all of a sudden found his voice. He came over and hugged each of the kids while I went around the table being phony, giving his brothers, my sister and law, and nephews hugs. It wasn’t that I didn’t care for his brothers, its was just that I knew they didn’t care for me. They were a lot like their mother, and I could only imagine the things that they said about me behind closed doors.
“Ma, I want steak,” Jaden let me know once he saw me looking over the menu.
Most kids his age would have asked for chicken tenders and fries or something along those lines, but not my high maintenance ass kids. After Jaden let me know what he wanted for dinner, Jada and Journey did the same thing. I actually liked Morton’s food from the few times that I’ve been there, and I loved to get the Caesar salad as an appetizer, but it was like my stomach wasn’t feeling it tonight. I had this queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I felt like I was having hot flashes. It could have been the members that filled the ambiance who had me feeling like this, or maybe my stomach just wasn’t feeling the food tonight.
“You look nice tonight. That’s not to say that you don’t look nice any other time, though,” Jerrod had the nerve to say to me.
My kids were watching me, and I didn’t want to come off like an asshole in front of them, so I just quickly nodded my head and gave him a fake smile along with a fake thank you. No matter how handsome this man was, or how nice he was dressed tonight, the past would never change, and because of that, he and I just couldn’t be together.
During dinner, I found myself constantly looking down at the time on my watch because I was just that ready to go. The fact that I wasn’t feeling well didn’t help the situation much. Add on having to be phony around a whole bunch of people that I couldn’t care less for and then having to sit across the table from a man that I so desperately wanted a divorce from. Luckily, dinner was almost done, and I was getting ready to excuse myself so I could use the restroom, but an unfamiliar face came to the table, which caused me to raise an eyebrow and wonder who the hell this woman was.
I looked at Jerrod’s mother, and there was a big smile on her face, so obviously she knew this woman. Then, I turned and looked at Jerrod, who was sweating, like we were in the middle of the desert, and I was quickly able to see where this was going. I could feel my leg beginning to bounce up and down at a rapid pace, which was the first sign that I was getting ready to go from 0 to 100 really quick.
“Mommy, that’s Daddy’s friend that I was telling you about,” Jada said as she gently hit my leg to get my attention.
I stared at the woman, who stared back at me. Out of everyone at the table, her eyes managed to just linger on mine for whatever reason. I was a woman who was very confident in myself, and because of that, I knew how to give credit when credit was due, so I had to admit that this was indeed a beautiful woman. Her outfit, which was a spaghetti striped club dress that squeezed her body like a glove and was so short that if she bent down you could see everything, was a little too much for Morton’s, but hey. I’m not sure of her ethnicity, but I could tell that she was mixed with something from her exotic look and her long, silky hair that she had pushed back and flat ironed bone straight.
“Awww, you made it, Valentina,” Jerrod’s mother said, removing the handkerchief that was in her lap and placing it on the table, so she could stand up. “Everyone, I have someone that I would like you all to meet. This is—”
“Ma, stop! Don’t do this mess here, man. This is messy as hell,” Jerrod spoke up as he stood from his chair in an attempt to make it over to where his mother and the lady who she referred to as Valentina was standing.
The whole time, I sat there with a leg that was bouncing like my body was freezing, and a stomach that was queasy as hell, mixed with me feeling like I had to throw up. But my need to find out just who the hell this woman was had stopped me from getting up to go to the restroom.
“Oh Jerrod, please! You’re being dramatic! Everyone, I would like for you all to meet Valentina. She’s the new lady in my son’s life. Isn’t she beautiful? Oh, not only is she pretty, but she’s a lawyer too,” is what came out of Jerrod’s mother’s mouth.
Granted, I knew this lady didn’t like me from day one, and I always felt like she wished her son had gotten with someone else, and I knew that she could be messy, but this was a low ball even for her. Having to sit there with my children and witness this shit had me angry to my fuckin core. I could feel the food that I’d just finished eating creeping up in my throat, so I jumped up from the chair that I was sitting in and made a run toward the restroom.
If I had gotten to the restroom a second later, all of my vomit would have been on the floor. I went into the first stall that was available, and there, I leaned over with my hands on my knees and poured out just about everything in my system that I’d eaten for the day. I heard the bathroom door open, and I didn’t even bother to close the door to the stall that I was in. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand on my back, and that’s when I saw that it was Tamera, who was Raymond’s wife.
No words were exchanged between us while I stayed hunched over the toilet. She and I weren’t even that close. We really only spoke whenever we had little family gatherings, so I was surprised that she’d come to see about me. Maybe she had some type of pity on me or something because of what just took place back at the table, but if only she knew that I could give two fucks about Jerrod and who he was fucking. My man fucks me too good for me to worry about Jerrod and his weak dick! I was just pissed that I came down there for this shit.
Here I was thinking that Jerrod’s mother really wanted to see me and the kids, which was why she’d pressured me into coming the way she did, but the whole time that old bitch had an agenda.
“You alright, girl?” Tamera asked me once I raised up and used the back of my hand to wipe my mouth.
All I did was nod my head that I was fine, and I went over to the sink to wash out my mouth. “Look, Takari, I know that you and I are nowhere near the best of friends, but I’m sorry about what just happened. No woman deserves that, especially a woman who has been with a man for so many years and birthed three of his children. I try not to speak on married people’s problems because it’s just not my place, but I always felt like you deserved better. Yes, Jerrod may be handsome, wealthy, and a provider, but I just never felt like he loved you the way you deserved to be loved.
“You’re beautiful, Takari, and I’ve always admired your mothering skills. I don’t have all the answers, but trust me, it’s his loss. That woman out there isn’t gaining anything by getting with Jerrod. Just remember that,” Tamera told me with one last look of reassurance. She put her hand on my shoulder for comfort, and just like that, she was out the door.
I respected her for coming in there and talking to me because the truth of the matter was that she didn’t have to say anything. I just didn’t have the words to say anything back to her, so once I got myself together, I walked out of the bathroom.
“Journey, Jada, Jaden, let’s go!” I called out the moment I was back at the table.
Never asking any questions because my kids knew when not to try me, they all jumped up from the table and headed in my direction. Journey came over and handed me my purse. As we walked out of the restaurant, I could hear Jerrod’s mother asking what was wrong and telling me to come back, so we could talk. The whole time, the bitch who made her grand entrance was sitting down in the spot which was originally my seat. I’d never in my life been so fuckin’ embarrassed.
