Perfect Timing, page 23
“I did.” When Maggie had reappeared in Baltimore, Lynn had told Pam about Maggie’s ghosting her after going to Boston for medical school. “Now Carrie has given us both the same ultimatum, and she’s not backing down.”
“You want me to talk to her?”
“I don’t know if that will help. Since her mother left, she’s always had insecurity issues where I’m concerned.” She rubbed the fabric of her scrubs on her legs. “And Beth’s continued absence didn’t make things any better. I’m the only stable person in her life.” Carrie had been so closed off when she’d first come into Lynn’s life. It took her an enormously long time to adjust, and when Carrie had finally realized Lynn wasn’t going anywhere, she’d opened up completely. Her raw vulnerability was heartbreaking, and Lynn would never break the bond they’d forged.
“The only stable person besides Maggie.”
She nodded. “Yeah, besides Maggie.” No matter what had happened between them, she was grateful that Maggie had always been there for Carrie.
“And how’s Maggie taking it?”
“I haven’t handled that very well. I kind of put Carrie first.” Her stomach rolled as she thought about the confrontation.
“But you do love Maggie.”
She swiped at the tear that had escaped her eye. “So much I can’t imagine my life without her.”
“Okay then. You’ve explained all this to Carrie, right?”
“Yes, but she’s not accepting any of it.”
“You should talk to Maggie. You can’t have a relationship with her and live in a silo. It impacts both of you, and she needs to be part of this. Let her help.”
“I don’t want to lose Carrie.”
“I doubt she’ll cut either of you out of her life. She’s playing you both like a child, using your feelings against each other.”
The door opened, and Heather came into the room. “Well, this is nice. Two of my favorite people.” She kissed Pam and then looked at Lynn and said, “Where’s your other half?” She took a double take. “What’s wrong?” she asked, the concern in her voice clear.
“Maggie’s wrapped up with the Roberts kids,” Pam said, knowing she didn’t want to go into the whole story again and that she would fill Heather in on the personal details later. “They’re being released tomorrow, and Lynn’s worried she’s become too involved with them.”
“If she continues down this path and promises these children things she can’t do, it won’t end well for any of them.” Maggie’s distress had made more sense after Lynn learned of the similarity between the children’s situation and Maggie’s.
“I’ll check and see if I can help out.” Heather jotted a note on the pad sitting on her desktop. “Are they seeing a counselor yet?”
“No. Not yet. Maggie hasn’t pushed that.”
Heather frowned. “I’ll make a few calls and get something set up.”
Tears burned her cheeks. “You two are so awesome. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” And she really didn’t. Since her divorce from Beth and returning to work, Pam and Heather had become her family.
“We gotcha,” Pam said as she patted her leg.
“Maggie is going to be a wonderful mother someday. This just isn’t the right time.” Lynn had seen Maggie’s dedication and her change of views on the parent-child relationship. If she decided to have more children, Maggie would be the only person she’d consider raising them with.
* * *
The parking lot was full when Maggie arrived at Andi’s apartment, and as she stood in front of her door, she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Andi had told her she had a spare bedroom, and after discussing it with Rita to avoid any more jealousy issues, Andi had told her she was welcome to stay as long as she wanted. Going home was depressing, and she couldn’t bear running into Lynn right now. She needed time and space to gather her thoughts, to concentrate on being a doctor, or she was going to screw up everything she’d worked so hard for.
She forged ahead and knocked. It wasn’t long before the door swung open and Andi swept her into a hug. “Hey. I’m glad you decided to come.” She moved aside and waved her in.
“Thanks for letting me stay,” she said as she entered.
“Of course.” Andi took her bag and carried it into the bedroom. “How are the kids?” Andi asked as she came out again. She knew Maggie had made a connection with them from the start, and she’d been keeping up on their progress as well.
“They’re good. Should be able to go home in a couple of days.”
“With the older sister?”
Maggie nodded. “Ariel.”
“How’s she dealing with all this?”
“She’s okay. She’s staying at her parents’ home here in Baltimore until social services finishes their review. Chase still needs physical therapy, so he and Tiffany will stay at the hospital until Ariel’s approved. That’s the best place to care for them until that happens.”
“What about foster care?”
“Finding someone who can handle Chase’s needs might be tough. Besides, Ariel wants them with her.”
“I thought I heard someone say Ariel goes to college out of state.”
“Boston University. I made some calls to my old academic counselor, and she arranged for her to continue her studies online until she gets through this semester. Then they’ll reassess.”
“How about you? How are you doing?”
“I’ve been a thousand times better, but I’ll survive.” Maybe that was true or maybe not.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Lynn doesn’t want me as much as I want her. I’m not sure what more there is to say.”
“Let her work it out. Kids can complicate even the most perfect relationships. Even when both their parents are involved.”
“That’s what I’m finding out.” She rubbed her head. “What I don’t get is that Carrie is my best friend. I’ve never done anything to make her think I’d hurt her or Lynn in any way. Why is it so difficult for her to get that?”
“She just had different expectations, and sometimes those are hard to adjust. Have you talked to her?”
“She won’t answer my calls, and I’ve sent a few texts. No response.”
“Lay low and let her get used to the idea.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Isn’t it worth waiting it out?”
“Absolutely.” Maggie had mastered patience at work, but not in her personal life. She hoped Andi was right and Carrie would rethink her position, but having known her for some time, Maggie wasn’t counting on it.
Chapter Twenty-six
Still temporarily living in Andi’s spare bedroom, Maggie hadn’t spoken to Lynn outside of work in more than a week. Ariel had been approved by social services to care for Tiffany and Chase and had taken them to their family home. That left Maggie and Lynn with nothing to discuss since they were still at an impasse regarding Carrie. Functioning in a numbing, zombie-like state, Maggie was resigned to bury her feelings just as she had in the past and focus on her work to get through it all.
After showering and crawling into bed, she drifted off to sleep with the same dream as always floating through her head, one that included lying next to Lynn and feeling content because it would happen every day for the rest of her life. After having enjoyed that reality briefly, it was now a vivid fantasy she was having trouble getting past. Waking up alone and wishing things were different only made her more miserable. She reached for her phone, found the meditation application, and started the sounds of light rain to calm her thoughts. Before she could return it to the nightstand, the phone rang. Stacy’s name popped up on the screen, and she hit the green button to answer.
“Hey, Stace. What’s up?” she asked as she pulled the sheet over her shoulder.
“Where are you?” Stacy’s voice was low but urgent.
“At Andi’s.” Stacy had been spending most of her nights at Russell’s lately and was unaware Maggie had been staying at Andi’s place to avoid running into Lynn.
“You need to come home, right now,” Stacy said, still in a whisper. She figured Stacy must have gone out tonight and had enough alcohol to conduct party-counselor office hours. Stacy gave lots of advice when she was drunk.
“Listen, I’m tired. I don’t want to talk about my fucked-up life right now. I’ll be home in a few days.”
“No. You need to come now.” Stacy’s voice was firm. “Your patients are here.”
“What? Who?”
“Tiffany and Chase.”
“Alone?”
“The sister is here too. She brought them. So get your ass home.”
“On my way.” Her mind swirled as she pulled on her yoga pants and stuffed the rest of the belongings she’d brought with her into her bag. On her way out, she stopped in the kitchen and wrote a note to Andi, then snuck out silently and hurried down the stairs to her car.
When Maggie rushed through the door of the apartment, the look of pure terror on Ariel’s face alarmed her. “Are the kids okay?” she asked as she sped across the room and dropped her bag to the floor.
“The kids are fine,” Stacy said very calmly, not losing eye contact with Maggie. “I’ve settled the younger kids in my room watching a movie, for the time being.” She was sitting on the couch with Ariel, holding her hand.
“But Ariel needs some help. Why don’t you come sit down?” She patted the spot on the couch next to her and then looked back at Ariel. “Go ahead. It’s okay. Tell her.”
“I can’t take care of them. It’s too much.” Ariel’s eyes were red and swollen as though she’d been crying.
“But in your texts, you said everything was good.” She couldn’t hide the irritation in her voice. Ariel should’ve never taken them if she couldn’t handle the responsibility.
“I lied because I didn’t want to disappoint you…or my parents. I thought I could do it, but school is too hard.”
Thoughts sprang into Maggie’s mind of how she’d had to scramble to find money, create unique ways to handle the finances, and quickly learn to forge her mother’s signature. School had never been at the forefront of her mind, but then again she was in high school, not college. “Do you need food? Money? What? All you have to do is ask me,” she said, her voice rising as irritation rang through again.
“Chase isn’t sleeping at night, and he wants my attention all the time. I can’t concentrate on my schoolwork at all. Every time he hears a noise, or even if the TV is too loud, he freaks out.” She bolted up and paced across the room. “I can’t even drive on the highway without him freaking out. He fucking grabbed the steering wheel the other day, and we almost hit someone head-on.”
Maggie followed Ariel across the room. “Irritability or outbursts of anger, difficulty concentrating, hypervigilance, and exaggerated startle response are all normal facets of PTSD,” she said as she rubbed Ariel’s back, not sure quite how to handle the situation. Sure, she’d calmed many hysterical family members, but never for something like this. Counselors were always available at the hospital to refer patients to.
“Caring for him is too hard. I’ve never been the best big sister, and I’m just not ready for any of this.” Tears sprang from her eyes, and Ariel fell into her arms. “Not full-time anyway.”
“Sure you can. It’s just new. You’ll get used to it.” She didn’t know who she was trying to convince, herself or Ariel.
“They don’t listen to me at all, and they hate me for bossing them around. I can’t even remember to put money in their lunch accounts, let alone make them lunches to take to school.” She was sobbing so hard, she could barely get the words out. “And getting Chase to physical therapy takes a lot of time, so I’m falling really behind in my homework.”
The vulnerability and fear she saw in Ariel was a wake-up call, and she suddenly realized what Lynn meant when she said parenting didn’t stop at eighteen. Just because she was forced to be an adult so early in life didn’t mean it was the right thing for her, and it wouldn’t be for Ariel either. She wanted to take Ariel’s pain and fear, lock it in a box, and throw away the key. She had only one choice now.
“Okay, then I’ll help you.” She glanced over at Stacy, who had widened her eyes in a silent what-the-fuck-are-you-doing question. “You can stay here with me until we figure it out.” She glanced back at Stacy. “You can stay with Russell for a while, can’t you?”
“I can, but—”
“Then it’s settled. We’ll do this together.” She put her arm around Ariel’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’ll rearrange my schedule, and you can all stay with me for the next few days.” Maggie didn’t intend to contact the social worker until she got them all calmed down because they would remove the children from their sister’s custody immediately. Maggie planned to do everything in her power to make sure they remained together, or at least connected in some way.
“Come on. We’ll put you and Tiffany in my room. I’ll take the couch for now and keep an eye on Chase.”
Once she’d gotten the two girls settled into her bedroom, she grabbed some sheets and a blanket from the hall closet and dropped them on the end of the couch.
Stacy was in the living room waiting when she came back out. “Are you really serious about this?”
“They have nowhere to go. I’m not letting those kids be forced into foster care with complete strangers. Not after what they’ve been through.”
“You were a complete stranger a couple of weeks ago.”
“But I’m not now. I’m all they have.”
“You can’t do this alone and still work all your hours at the hospital,” Stacy said, and she was probably right. “Are you going to call someone to help you?”
Stacy meant Lynn, and that had been her immediate instinct since they’d both been so involved in the children’s care after the accident. She picked up her phone and hit the button and called Heather instead. She hadn’t asked her for help, but Heather had set up the grief counseling and assisted with the funeral arrangements when she’d found out none had been made. She didn’t know where she’d be right now if Heather hadn’t taken charge. She certainly couldn’t go to Lynn with anything, because Lynn had already lost enough faith in her.
She sat in the chair next to Chase, who had finally fallen asleep in Stacy’s bed. The innocence in his face was clear, and the thought of him dealing with such a tragedy so early in life made her gut twist. She’d just dozed off when he shot straight up and stared into space like a zombie. An earsplitting scream quickly followed his look of pure terror. She bolted out of the chair to the bed, gathered him in her arms, and held him as he shook. She’d never felt so helpless as she did at that moment. A horrible accident had torn his parents from him, and she couldn’t do anything to make his pain and fear go away.
* * *
Heather had been gracious enough to meet with Maggie the next morning, and she’d advised her of how big a commitment caring for the children would be, just as Stacy had the night before. Heather hadn’t been against it. She’d simply pointed out all the obstacles it posed for her in the future. She’d also said she’d support Maggie in whatever she decided to do.
Heather had consulted an attorney, a friend of hers, to figure out the logistics of the fostering path if Maggie chose to pursue it. Ariel had custody of the kids, so giving Maggie any type of parental rights would be difficult unless Ariel relinquished them. Medical care, school issues, and finances would all have to be shared with Ariel.
While Ariel seemed all in on receiving Maggie’s help, she was hesitant to change anything legally, which Heather viewed as a wise move. After all, none of them knew each other that well outside of the patient care Maggie had provided for the kids in the hospital. Plus, since Maggie wasn’t a relative, she would have to go through the standard process to become a foster parent or guardian for the children. So for now, they would live at her place but remain in Ariel’s custody until they made a decision.
She’d avoided Lynn’s calls for the past few days, but when Lynn had sent the last text apologizing and begged her to meet her, she’d agreed to visit Lynn’s apartment tonight to talk. She didn’t know what Lynn had to say, and she had so much on her plate right now she was honestly too tired and indifferent to care. Ariel had essentially given up responsibility, and the children had become much more of a handful than Maggie had anticipated.
The door swung open immediately after she knocked, as though Lynn was waiting just on the other side. Her belly dipped at the sight of Lynn dressed in a flowered summer dress and flip-flops. The subtle liner outlining her eyes made her emerald-green eyes pop, and her smile was wide and beautiful.
“Come in.” She moved to the side so Maggie could enter. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Sure.” She glanced back at her. “I won’t stay long. It looks like you might have plans.” She swore to herself she was going to play nice but couldn’t seem to do it.
“No. No plans. I mean, other than talking to you,” Lynn said with a tentative smile.
A jolt zapped through Maggie, knowing the dress and the makeup were meant for her and no one else. “I don’t have a lot of time. I need to get back to the kids.”
“The Roberts kids?”
She nodded. “Ariel was having a hard time, so they’ve been staying with me for the past few days.”
Lynn’s eyebrows pulled together. “What are your plans with them?”
Debating if she should confide in Lynn, she turned and walked farther into the apartment but didn’t sit. “I’m thinking about fostering them.”
“Maggie.” The concern in Lynn’s voice was clear. “Fostering those children will change your life completely. Your goals of becoming the doctor you’ve prepared to be will be pushed so far out of reach. I’ve lived this scenario, and I know exactly how it can affect your life.”
“Did you regret raising Carrie? ’Cause it certainly sounds like you gave up a lot for her.” She hadn’t expected support from Lynn, but she hadn’t expected such opposition either.
