He's beside me in an instant, his hand flying to my hairline. "Is it your head? Are you still experiencing headaches?"

  I stare at him, soaking in the image of him in a lab coat, a stethoscope strung loosely around his neck. I've never seen him like this. The night I was in the ER he was still dressed in jeans and a sweater. Now, he officially looks like a doctor. Where is the horrible person that Noah talked about? How can a man who has devoted his life to helping people heal be as bad as Noah says he is? "No, it's fine."

  "Are you sick?" He motions behind me towards a nurse. "Let's get you into a room."

  "I'm not sick." I lean closer to him. "That's not why I'm here."

  He holds his hand up to stop a woman who is throwing numbers at him at breakneck speed. "I'm busy, Lynette. I'll be there shortly."

  The huff that escapes her lips is audile. "We're very busy, Dr. Foster. Make it quick."

  My eyes bolt to the side to her face. She's frustrated with his dismissal. She doesn't make eye contact with me at all.

  "Give me a moment, I said." Ben's eyes don't leave mine. "This is important."

  "Fine," she bites the word out in a hiss. It's obvious by her tone that it's anything but fine.

  "Ben," I whisper his name quietly for no reason than to temper everything I'm feeling. "You shouldn't have walked out on me the other night."

  "Christ, I was an idiot about that." His hand clenches in a fist on his chest. "It wasn't right. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I panicked when you were talking about Noah."

  "I talked to him about you."

  His jaw tenses slightly. It shifts the structure of his face and a glimpse of Noah is there for an instant. "You told him I was your lover?"

  I feel the word roar with full force to my core. Lovers? We haven't defined it. I hadn't. Ben had, obviously. "No. I just told him that I met you."

  He nods his head slightly. "What did he say?"

  "He knew you worked here." I point to the floor. "I told him you helped me when I got hurt."

  He leans forward slightly, pivoting on his shoe. "He told you to stay away from me, didn't he?"

  I nod. "I want to know why."

  He pulls on the collar of his lab coat, adjusting it slightly. "I should be off by eleven but it's never that simple." His hand drifts to the waiting room.

  "I understand," I say wishing that he could just walk away from his responsibilities here for an hour so he could explain to me what happened between him and his brother. My entire being is telling me that the issue isn't as serious as Noah has made it out to be. I've been with Ben. I've felt the tenderness in his touch. I've been nursed back to health by him. I don't see the evil that lives beneath the surface that Noah claims is there.

  His name wafts through the air over the public announcement system.

  "I need to go." His lips brush against mine in a gentle kiss. "I'll text you when I'm done here."

  He grazes past me in his rush to help others. Right now, at this very moment in time, I wish I was the one he was helping.

  Chapter 15

  "I can't begin to imagine what Noah told you about me." He pulls off his suit jacket to lower himself into a seat across from me in a bustling mid-town bistro.

  When Ben had called me late last night, I'd be wary of letting him come over. It wasn't out of fear for my personal safety. It was out of the clear knowledge that I'd want him. Noah's warnings hadn't crushed my desire for Ben at all. The only thing that had done that was his need to rush out of my apartment the other day when he felt cornered.

  "Did you order something to eat?" His eyes scan the expansive menu.

  I study his face briefly, marveling in how strong his features are. I know that he's not Noah's identical twin but there's no mistaking they're brothers. I wonder what it would be like seeing them standing side-by-side. "I'm not that hungry."

  "We can split a sandwich." He motions towards a waitress standing near the cash register.

  I sit in silence while he orders our lunch. My hands are sweating. Even though Alexa still knows nothing about Ben, I can't help but feel 'm betraying her. I spoke to her briefly on the phone this morning about having dinner together tonight. I'd balked at making firm plans because I wanted to see how my lunch with Ben would go.

  "Tell me about Noah." He leans back in the wooden chair. "It starts with him telling you to avoid me at all costs, right?"

  The sarcasm dripping from each of the words is measurable. I can see the disdain in his expression. He disapproves of Noah too, but it's not the same. Ben's never warned me away from his brother. "He did say that, yes."

  "Did he say why?" He picks up a small glass of room temperature water that the waitress dropped off when she took his order.

  I sigh deeply. "No, Ben. He wouldn't say why."

  "You want to know why?" He sips a mouthful before resting the glass back down.

  I do, don't I? That's why I'm here. I stare at him while I contemplate the gravity of the question. I don't really need to do this. I can get up, walk out and never look back. Ben Foster can become a distant memory and the secret of his silent feud with Noah can rest in peace. That would be the right thing to do. That would be the way to honor my friendship with Alexa and the man she loves.

  "It started when our mother died."

  The words are almost emotionless. His expression doesn't add anything to it either. They're just words that he's pushed out at me and now, I have to absorb them. Is that because he's a doctor and death is a natural part of his everyday life now?

  "When did she die?"

  "It's feels like a lifetime ago now." His long fingers tap a beat against the table. "It feels like yesterday."

  "You were close." I know the assumption is based on the fact that he told me that Noah and his father shared a special bond. Maybe Ben loved his mother the same way. Maybe he was the shining light in her eyes.

  "I took care of my mother." His eyes are empty. "I wanted to be a doctor because of her."

  I smile at the knowledge. "She must have been lovely."

  "She was beautiful and kind." His hand jumps to his chest. "She was sweet. She loved me very much."

  "What happened to her?"

  "She was ill for weeks before her death." His eyes dart up but move past me quickly, centering on a spot in the diner behind me. "The doctors said it was a virus. They sent her home."

  "It wasn't a virus?" I don’t know what else to ask. I have no inkling of what it means or how it impacted her health. I have no baseline to judge by.

  His eyes travel the path of the waitress as she drop off our lunch. I watch in silence as he takes a healthy bite of the sandwich. He motions for me to dig in, but I can't eat. I'm slightly miffed that he can considering the fact that we are embroiled in a serious discussion about someone he loved.

  He watches me intently as he chews. No words are spoken between us. The conversation ended in the exact place I need and want it to continue so I wait patiently until he clears the entire plate.

  "Kayla." He finally speaks. "This is very hard to talk about."

  I nod. I know that it is. I want to hear it though. I need to understand the nucleus of his pain. "I know," I say quietly. "I care about you, Ben."

  A trace of a smile forms on his lips. "I care about you too."

  "What happened when she died?" I ask out of sheer need. I'm nauseous from the anxiety that is racing through me.

  His eyes dart down to his lap. "She needed care around the clock. My father, Noah and I all took turns with her."

  I can't imagine the pain that seeps into those who have to watch someone they love wither away like that. "That must have been very hard."

  "The alternative was the hospital. She didn't want that."

  "I understand." I'm trying to understand. I still don't have a clear idea of when any of this happened. The emotional strength of a fifteen-year-old boy is obviously much different than a twenty-five-year old. Judging by the depth of the fracture in Ben's family, I'm guessing she died when the twins were much younger.

  "I was watching her the day that she died." He pushes his water glass aside so he can reach across the table for my hand. "I had a friend over."

  He doesn't need to elaborate. It was a woman, or girl. The thoughtful gesture to hold my hand is telling me that.

  "We were in the guest house when it happened."

  I nod. I pull my free hand to my forehead. I'm uncomfortable hearing the pointed details now. I pushed for this. I need to accept it.

  "My father and Noah were at a ball game. By the time they got home, she'd been gone for hours."

  "You didn’t call them to tell them?" I ask the question without any thought. It just rolls off my tongue.

  "I didn’t know." His eyes stare into mine. I see the emptiness in them. "I was in the guest house, fucking some woman whose name I can't recall over and over again while my mother took her very last breath."

  Chapter 16

  "You have a secret." Alexa pulls on my ponytail from behind.

  I almost choke on the mouthful of wine I'm trying to swallow. "What secret?" It's not a random question. When it comes to secrets, I'm hiding more than one.

  "You're seeing someone, aren't you?"

  "Seeing as in dating?" Nice stall tactic, Kayla. You really expect that's going to work?

  She scowls as she takes a seat beside me on the weathered couch in my apartment. "Call it whatever you like. There's a man in your life."

  "Why would you ask me that?" I try to level my voice. I haven't seen Ben since the diner but that means little in the big picture. I'm still sorting through my feelings. I'm debating whether or not to talk to Noah. I feel torn between my friendship to him and Lex and my attraction to Ben.

  "There's a man's tie hanging from the towel rack in your bathroom." She tosses her head towards the hallway. "It's expensive too."

  "How do you know if it's expensive," I scoff in an overly exaggerated attempt to change the subject. I knew that tie was there. I liked having it there as a reminder of Ben. Now it's pushing me into a corner.

  "Noah just bought a new suit." She taps her hand on my thigh. "It was expensive. I saw that exact tie at the store. Noah almost bought it."

  "Noah in a suit?" I struggle to conjure up that image. "He's not a suit kind of guy, is he?"

  "He's a handsome kind of guy," she counters. "I like when he dresses up if we go out for dinner."

  "Makes sense." I breathe a sigh of relief. If I can keep her on the subject of her fiancé, I'll keep her off the subject of the twin brother of her fiancé.

  "It was nice to see him spend some money on himself." She takes a large drink from her wineglass. "He's going to get a tux for the wedding."

  I smile at the joy in her voice when she talks about her wedding. "It's coming up soon."

  "We're signing a pre nup next week."

  "You're signing a pre nup?" It's not that surprising given how successful Noah is. He used to sell the nude photographs he took of women for tens of thousands of dollars. That has to add up quickly.

  "It was my idea." She shrugs her shoulders. "He's worth a lot of money."

  "He sold a lot of photographs back in the day," I tease. We don't talk about Noah's former career much anymore. It's never been a sore spot for Alexa. She posed for him too at one point.

  "He got a huge inheritance when he turned twenty-five." Her words are slightly slurred. "It was from when his mother died."

  I know more about that event than I should. "I guess a pre nup is a good idea then." I can't think of anything else to say.

  "Do you want to know something?" She swallows the last bit of wine that had settled at the bottom of the glass. "It's about his brother."

  Hell, yes, I want to know.

  I nod only slightly.

  "I think Noah hates him because of that money." She runs her finger along the edge of the glass. "He got some money too."

  "Why would you think that?"

  "I heard him talking to Ron about it on the phone." She's whispering so loud that I'm certain anyone passing by on the street would hear every single word she's said.

  I had wondered how Ben could afford his apartment and wardrobe on an ER doctor's salary. "Sometimes money makes people crazy." I spin my finger in the air. "I'm sure their problems go deeper than that."

  "I don’t know about that." She starts to stand before falling back into the soft cushion of the couch. "Noah hates Ben. If it's not the money it has to be a woman."

  It is a woman. It's the woman who gave them life. The very same woman whose death pulled them apart for good.

  Chapter 17

  "Get the fuck in here." He pulls on my hand sending me flying into his apartment. I hear the door slam shut behind me.

  "Ben," I mutter his name in a heated rush before his lips bear down on mine. "I…Ben…" I try to form the words through his kiss but he's too aggressive.

  "I've been thinking about you for days." His hands are pulling on the tie of my wraparound dress, tangling me up in it. "I'm going to rip this fucking thing off your body."

  I take a step back as much to save my dress as to calm my breath. "I'll take it off."

  His eyes are glued to my hands as he strips off his own clothes, throwing them onto the floor in a pile.

  "Look how hard you make me." His hand runs fast over his thick, erect cock. "I need to be inside that sweet cunt of yours now."

  The words fill me with an instant hunger that I can't quench. I've tried to wean myself off of him by touching myself in my bed. I thought that would quiet the desperate need I've been feeling. I want him so much. I can't keep denying it. I don’t want to deny it. I want to own it and embrace it. When he called to tell me to come over, I hadn't hesitated at all. My need for him is primal and unending.

  I pull my panties down and stand before him, completely naked and exposed. I'm not shy. I've never been one to hide my body beneath a sheet out of fear that my lover will find fault. I've never complained about the size of my breasts or the width of my hips. I love my body. He loves my body. I see it in his eyes and I feel it when he's making love to me.

  "Goddamn, Kayla." He narrows the space between us with easy strides. His hands wrap around my sides, pulling me into him. His cock rests against my thigh, heavy, warm and eager.

  I moan as he picks me up, pulling my legs around him. I cry out when he clears the desk near the door with one swoop of his hand and lowers my body onto it and I whimper as I watch him cloak his beautiful cock with a condom.

  "I need you, Kayla." His breath whispers over my lips. "I've needed you since that first night."

  I cling tightly to him as he enters me completely, his cock pushing me to my limits, stretching me wide with a bite of pain that touches my core. "Ben, yes," I moan into his mouth. "Fuck me."

  He pulls my ass to the edge of the desk as he sits me up, our bodies still connected. "Look at me, Kayla. Look at me."

  I open my eyes. His face is so beautiful. It's so perfect and kind. I stare into his eyes with my own as he fucks me with slow, easy, graceful strokes.

  ***

  "If you tell them about me, I'll lose you." His voice pierces through the darkness in the room.

  I shake myself awake. I'd drifted off after he'd carried me to his bed and fucked me again. "That won't happen," I whisper into the empty space before me.

  His hands pull me closer so my back is resting against his chest. "It will. Noah won't let her talk to you anymore."

  The concept is foreign. Noah wouldn't demand anything that restricting of Lex. Our relationship is close, too close for a brotherly feud to tear it apart. "Alexa would never stop talking to me."

  "He'll fill her head with lies about me." His voice is shaky and uncertain.

  I try to flip over. I want to look at him when he tells me this. These people are the core of my inner circle. They are my New York family. I need them as much as I need air to breathe. I can't lose Alexa. I won't.

  "Alexa is smarter than that," I say with every effort to sound convincing. "She won't break off our friendship over this."

  "We should see where this goes before you tell her."

  I know the words shouldn't burst open my heart the way they do. This is new and it's natural to have doubts. He's older than I am. He's wiser. Maybe when a person turns thirty they realize that banking on an undeniable connection is foolish and impulsive. I'm not thirty-years-old. He is. I want to fall into the well of promise. I want to revel in the idea that this has a future beyond a few more months of incredible sex.

  "Or I could tell her and then we could see where it goes," I counter. Two can play wicked mind games, Dr. Foster.

  "He blames me for our mother's death." His voice is dark. "That's never going to change, Kayla."

  "You don't know that." I push his hands lower wanting to feel his fingers rush through my folds. "You can't predict that." I don't want to talk about Noah. I can't think about Alexa. All I want is Ben.

  He gives in to my silent demands as his finger finds my clit. "I know that I'm not going to give this up for anything."

  I spread my legs brazenly, kicking the covers off of us. I reach down to cover his hand with my own. "You don’t have to give this up."

  He pushes a finger into me, luxuriously pulling the dampness from my channel before gliding it back over my clitoris. "You're mine. Noah can't take you away from me. No one can."

  "No one can." I arch my back to give him more access. "No one will."

  Chapter 18

  "I saw you with him."

  I know his voice before I turn to look at him. It's Noah.

  "When?" It's not as though the details matter. I can hear the disappointment in his voice. There's no denying the anger that is sprinkled through his words. He's pissed.

  "Yesterday." I sense movement behind me. "You were leaving his apartment and he kissed you in front of the building."

  My focus was solely on Ben in that moment. He was hailing me a cab, sending me back home after he'd licked me to orgasm one last time. I'd felt treasured in that moment. He'd leaned down before shutting the taxi door to tell me he'd miss me.

 

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