Navy Grooms, page 6
She needed him, too. She’d never admit it, of course, never deliberately tell him as much, but it was true.
“You said we needed to talk,” she reminded him. With what seemed like a good deal of effort, she moved away from him.
“Yes,” Brand answered softly, and rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “What are you doing every day for the next four days?”
“Why?” A worried look dominated her face. Then her eyes, which had been so gentle and submissive only seconds before, flashed to life with a fire that all but scorched Brand. “You don’t need to tell me. You’re only going to be in Seattle four more days.”
Four
“Why are you so angry?” Brand demanded, not understanding Erin. He was being as honest as he knew how to be with her, and she was looking at him as though he’d just announced he was an ax murderer.
“You know... You know...” She walked over to the cupboard and slammed two ceramic mugs down with enough force to crack the kitchen counter. “From the beginning you’ve known how I feel about navy men.”
“I didn’t mislead you,” he reminded her in as reasonable a tone as he could muster. “You knew from the first I was on a short assignment.”
Grudgingly she answered him with an abrupt nod.
If Brand was upset about anything, it was the fact that he’d waited so long to do as his friend Casey MacNamera had asked and checked up on the old man’s daughter. If Brand had contacted her the first week he’d arrived in Seattle, a lot of things might have worked out differently.
“Here’s your coffee.” The hot liquid sloshed over the edges of the mug when Erin set it on the glass table top.
He pulled out a beige cushioned chair and sat. His hands cupped the mug while he waited, giving Erin the time she needed to sort through her feelings.
It took her far longer than he expected. She paced the kitchen ten or fifteen times, pausing twice, her eyes revealing her confusion and her doubt. Both times she glared at him as though he’d committed unspeakable crimes. After a while, her brisk steps slowed, and she started talking to herself, mumbling something unintelligible.
“Am I forgiven?” Brand asked when she sat in the chair across the table from him.
“Sure,” she answered, giving him a weak smile. “What’s there to forgive?”
“I’m pleased you feel that way.” Because of the abrupt switch in her behavior, Brand didn’t feel as confident.
“Meeting you has...been an interesting experience” was all she’d say.
Brand felt the same way himself. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I’m busy.”
Brand frowned, and a sinking sensation attacked the pit of his stomach. “Doing what?”
“I don’t believe that’s any of your concern.”
Oh, boy, here it comes, he mused. “But it is. If you’re attending church services, then I’ll go with you. If you’ve promised a friend you’d help them move, then I’ll cart boxes myself.” If Erin thought the Irish could be stubborn, she had yet to butt heads with the German in him.
“Brand, please don’t make this any more difficult than it already is. I can’t change who I am for you. I told you from the first I don’t want to become involved with anyone in the military, and I meant it. I don’t know why you can’t accept that. And I don’t even want to know. You’re leaving, and when it comes right down to it, I’m glad. It’s for the best.”
“I’m stationed in Hawaii. It’s not all that—”
“I have no intention of flying off to the islands for an occasional weekend, nor can I afford to, so don’t even suggest it.”
“The only thing I was going to suggest was the two of us getting to know each other better.” He strove to sound casual, although there wasn’t a single bone in his entire body that was indifferent to Erin. She affected him far more strongly than any other woman he’d ever known. Generally he was the one seeking an out in the relationship.
Erin sipped her coffee, more relaxed now. Centered was the term she’d used earlier, and he could see it in her. She’d made her decision, and neither hell nor high water would sway her from it.
“Will you see me again?” He didn’t like asking a second time. It went against his pride, but he was learning that when it came to Erin MacNamera he was willing to give more than with anyone else.
Her nod took a long time coming, but when it did, Brand felt the tension ease.
“On one condition,” she added.
“Name it.”
Her beautiful dark eyes found his, and he noted how lost and bewildered she looked. “What is it?”
“No more...of what happened today in the park.”
“You don’t want me to kiss you again?” Brand was sure he’d misunderstood her. They were just beginning to know each other, learn about each other, and it seemed ridiculous for them to put their relationship into a holding pattern now.
“I’m offering you my friendship, Brand, nothing more.” He wanted Erin for more than a friend, but saying so would likely cut off any chance he had with her. If those were the ground rules she was setting, then far be it for him to argue with her. He fully intended to do whatever he could to change her mind, but she’d learn that soon enough.
“All right,” he said, grinning at her. “We’ll be friends.”
“No more of that, either,” she countered sharply.
“What?” Brand hadn’t a clue what she was talking about.
“That smile. The navy could launch missiles with that smile of yours.”
Was that a fact? Brand mused. He’d have to remember that and use it often.
* * *
Agreeing to this dinner date wasn’t one of her most brilliant moves, Erin decided later. Brand was scheduled to fly out of the Whidbey Island Naval Station early the following morning. They’d talked several times by phone, but she hadn’t seen Brand since their date on Saturday afternoon.
Erin hated admitting what a good time she’d had with the lieutenant j.g. They’d toured Sand Point and had a picnic at Woodland Park Zoo, although the only animal she’d encountered was of the human variety. And something else had happened Saturday, something she kept trying to forget and couldn’t.
Brand had kissed her senseless.
It caused her cheeks to burn every time she thought about the way she’d abandoned herself in his arms. No one had ever told her kissing could be so wonderful...especially the way Brand was doing it. She felt achy and restless every time she dwelled on it. Her heart would start to beat, slow and sluggish, and the heat would start creeping through her. A warm excitement would fill her, and she could find no way of explaining it. The heat started low in her abdomen and grew into an achy restlessness that disturbed her beyond anything she’d ever experienced.
Then her breasts would start throbbing the way they had when he’d pressed her against the blanket and whispered there were other places he longed to kiss her, too. It had been all she could do not to ask him to take her nipples in his mouth... She wished he had—which was a crazy idea, since they’d been in a public place.
It wouldn’t have stopped there. Erin knew that as well as she knew her own name.
Brand awoke carnal instincts in her. She’d never guessed she was capable of feeling sensual sensations as strong as this. Erin had always assumed she knew herself well. Apparently that wasn’t the case after all. Not if Brand could evoke such an overwhelming reaction in her with a series of wet kisses.
The doorbell chimed, and, inhaling softly, she braced herself, walked across the living room and opened the front door to Brand.
“Hi.” His gaze gave her an appreciative sweep. “Are you ready?”
She nodded. Damn, it was good to see him again. She hated to admit that much, and she gave herself a quick mental shake. Somehow, someway, she was going to get through this evening, and once she did it would be over between them. He could go his way and she could go hers, and never the twain would meet.
Once they were in the car, Erin suggested a Mexican restaurant that was less than a mile from her house. The food was good and cheap. All Erin was looking to do was to survive this evening with her heart intact.
The walls of the El Lindo were made of white stucco and decorated with several huge sombreros in bright shades of turquoise and gold. Erin studied the pictures on the wall, which were displayed in wide, bulky frames, in an effort to avoid looking at Brand. She dared not allow her eyes to meet his for fear of reviving memories from their last encounter.
“So where are you headed to next?” she asked, making sure her voice contained just the right amount of friendliness. A tortilla chip commanded her full attention as she dipped it in salsa.
“Probably San Francisco.”
“When?” It felt good to have the upper hand in the conversation, Erin mused.
“Soon. A month or two from now, maybe less. Have you been there?”
“I don’t think there are more than a handful of naval bases where I haven’t been.” She made light of the fact, when in reality it was a source of fierce bitterness. The comment was made with just enough sarcasm for Brand to recognize she wouldn’t return to that lifestyle again for anything or anyone in the world, including him. He must have gotten the message, because his face tightened into a frown.
Erin ordered the cheese-and-onion enchiladas, her favorite, and Brand asked for the chili verde. Both dinners were excellent, and they lingered over coffee, talking about a variety of bland but safe subjects. Brand told her about his two best friends, Alex Romano and Catherine Fredrickson. Like him, Alex was a surface warfare officer. Catherine was an attorney. All three had been stationed in Hawaii for four years.
When Brand pulled into the driveway in front of her house, her hand was already on the handle. She had a farewell, so-glad-we-had-this-chance-to-meet talk all prepared, but she wasn’t allowed to say one word of it.
Brand reached across the seat and gripped her hand. “Invite me in for coffee.”
“We just finished having a cup.”
“Invite me in anyway.”
“I...don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Yes, it is. Trust me.”
“All right.” But she wasn’t pleased about it.
She led the way into her compact home. Buying a house was one of the first things she’d done after being hired for the Community Action Program. The payments were high, but Erin didn’t mind the sacrifice, because for the first time in her life she didn’t have to worry about being forced to move. No one was going to casually announce it was time to relocate. She didn’t need to worry that everything she owned was going to be stripped away from her almost overnight.
For the first time in her life, she was planting roots. They weren’t as deep as she wanted, not yet, but she intended for them to be. This home was hers and hers alone. It was her security, her defense, her shelter. Falling crazy in love with a navy man would threaten everything she’d strived to build for herself in the past several years, and she adamantly refused to allow it to happen.
Once they were inside, Erin turned on the lights and pointed to the bulky stuffed chair angled in front of the television. “Make yourself comfortable. Would you like some coffee?”
“Please.”
Brand followed her into the kitchen. “We’ve avoided the subject all evening,” he said, standing directly behind her. He wasn’t actually pinning her against the counter, but he made it plain he could if he wanted to.
“We don’t need to talk about it.”
“We do,” he countered swiftly. “I’m leaving. Trust me, I don’t want to go, but I am. It’s part of my job. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I will be.”
She tried to look as uninterested as she could. “Look me up when you do,” she said flippantly.
Brand frowned anew. “Erin MacNamera, that wasn’t nice.”
“I apologize.” She didn’t completely understand what she’d said that was so wrong. If Brand thought she was going to sit around moping for him, he was dead wrong.
Yes, she enjoyed his company, and when he left she’d miss him for a while, but after a week or so she wouldn’t give him more than the occasional fleeting thought.
“Kiss me,” Brand instructed.
Erin’s heart went still. She’d prefer leaping off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge to granting Brand Davis the privileges she had the day of their picnic. He might as well ask her to light a stick of dynamite and wave it around for everyone to see what a fool she was.
She tried to break away from him. “I can’t... I have no intention of kissing you.”
“Just once, to say goodbye.”
“Brand...”
His hands drifted up and down her lifeless arms, bringing her against him. Erin didn’t know who moved, him or her.
“If you won’t kiss me, then you leave me no choice but to kiss you.” He angled his head to one side and placed his moist, hot mouth over hers.
The kiss was unbearably good; it was all Erin could do not to melt at his feet. Somehow she managed to stand stiff and straight, not granting him an inch.
Brand appeared unconcerned by her lack of response. He drew her wrists up and placed her hands around his neck, then locked his own arms tight around her waist, lifting her against him.
Erin didn’t want to respond, had promised herself she wouldn’t, but before she knew what was happening her lips had parted and her tongue was eagerly searching out his. If only he weren’t so gentle. So tender and generous. Erin felt as if she were drowning in sheer ecstasy. She moaned, and the sound seemed to encourage Brand all the more.
He kissed her again and again, and it was even better than his lovemaking had been in the park. Even more wonderful, and she hadn’t thought that was possible. Brand’s kisses were long and deep, and before she knew it Erin was clinging to him mindlessly.
He released her slowly, letting her slide down his front. Once her feet were firmly planted on the floor, his hand closed over her breast. Erin whimpered—it was a soft sound of pleasure—as he battled with the buttons of her silk blouse, peeling it open. He unfastened her bra and filled his palms with her lush fullness. His sigh went through her like a spear, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep from reacting.
Her nipples were so hard, they burned and throbbed and ached in a way she’d never experienced until now. Her hands were in Brand’s hair and her head was thrown back as she squirmed against him. She wanted his mouth on her breasts, just the way she’d imagined. Just the way she’d dreamed about for the past two nights.
As if reading her thoughts, Brand gave her what she yearned to experience, drawing her nipple into his moist, warm mouth and sucking lightly, then strongly, then lightly again. A sensation of pleasure so hot it bordered on pain flashed through her like lightning. It was all Erin could do to hold still. If he continued this much longer, she’d be climbing the walls. Literally.
The sensation was incredible, beyond description. She wanted him, needed him. Soon her own fingers were busy. She was so impatient, she nearly ripped the buttons off his shirt. It became imperative that she do to him what he was doing to her. She didn’t know if this was something women did to men, but she longed to return the pleasure he was giving her.
With her arms wrapped securely around his neck, she nuzzled the hollow at his throat, sliding her tongue back and forth in lazy circles while she fiddled with the opening on his shirt. Once it was free, she spread it back from his shoulders.
Erin had never seen a man as close to perfect as Brand. He was stronger than anyone she’d ever known. And he smelled so good, of spice and bay rum. He’d probably sprayed himself with an aphrodisiac before meeting her for dinner, but Erin was beyond the point of caring.
Brand’s muscular body felt hot to the touch. She was unable to keep her hands still. They roamed up and down the sides of his waist, then over the lightly haired planes of his broad chest until she inadvertently touched the tight buds of his nipples. When she did, she was gratified by the shudder that went through him, starting with a rippling motion in his massive shoulders and working its way down.
“Erin,” he pleaded, “no more.”
She ignored him. After all, he ignored her, and fair was fair. Her mouth fastened over the tight pearl of his nipple, and she gave him the same treatment he had given her. He tasted as wonderful as he smelled.
“Erin,” he pleaded a second time. She paused long enough to sigh, loving the sound of his voice, so low and husky. It spurred her on more powerfully than any words he might have said.
“We’ve got to stop before it’s too late,” he warned, working his hands between them.
Her response was to curl her fingers more tightly in the hair on his chest and tug lightly.
“Erin.”
This time something in his voice did capture her attention. His hands were on her shoulders, and he heaved a giant breath as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Erin buried her face in his neck, embarrassed by the things she’d done and allowed him to do.
She rarely cried, but she felt the salty wetness coat her cheeks.
“Casey would shoot me dead if he knew how close I’ve come to making love to you.”
Erin abruptly broke away from him, her eyes clouded with confusion. She nearly stumbled, finding herself off balance. Nevertheless, she glared up at Brand. “How did you know my father’s name is Casey?”
Brand closed his eyes slowly, as if he’d inadvertently allowed a top government secret to pass from his lips. “That’s a long story.”
Erin jerked away and turned her back to him while her fingers frantically worked to assemble her bra and blouse. Her hands were trembling so badly, it made the task nearly impossible. When she’d finished, she walked across the room and removed her mug from the table, simply because she needed something to cling to. She felt as if she were being beaten by an invisible force, shaken so hard her teeth were rattling.
