Awakened (Vampire Awakenings), page 6
“Can I ask you something?” he asked softly, his lips gently brushing the top of her head.
“Sure, what?”
“You may not like it, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
She shrugged as she nestled closer to his warmth. “Then ask.”
“What happened to you before?”
She stiffened in his arms. Her breath was frozen in her lungs, as her heart began to beat a wild staccato in her chest. “What do you mean?” she asked, trying to keep the tremor from her voice.
He sighed softly as he lightly stroked her hair. “I mean, what happened to make you so fearful?”
Agony tore through her as memories threatened to rush forth. She closed her eyes and clamped down against the tidal wave of pain that wanted to break free. Resolutely she turned her attention away from the past, and made herself focus upon the here and now.
“If you don’t want to answer me, you don’t have to,” he reminded her.
She didn’t know why, maybe it was because he hadn’t pressed her, or maybe it was because she felt so incredibly, irrationally safe with him, but she suddenly felt the need to tell him. Or at least tell him some of it. “Remember when I said that I came to this school because it was close to home, but far enough away?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that wasn’t entirely true. To me it wasn’t far enough away from home, not nearly far enough, but I couldn’t afford anything else. My parents only live three hours away, in New Hampshire, but I don’t go home for the holidays. I stay with my grandmother on the Cape. Sometimes my mom comes to visit me, but she never stays long, and my father never comes.”
She took a deep breath to steady herself as she began to reopen wounds that weren’t completely healed. “My graduating class was only thirty two kids, and we all knew where everyone else was going. No one was coming here, so I did. As far as I know, no one from the following classes has come here either.”
He remained silent while she took another deep breath. Now that she was speaking, she suddenly found herself unable to stop. “In the middle of my senior year I started dating this guy named Jacob.”
Her voice broke off as a shudder involuntarily wracked her. She hadn’t said his name in years, had never wanted to say it again. Just saying it brought cold terror to her gut. Liam gently stroked her hair and back, easing some of the tension from her, and giving her the strength to go on.
“He was the quarterback on the football team of the town next to ours. Our town was too small for a team so the kids in our school played on that team too. My friends and I went to all of their games; it was the only thing to do on a Friday night. Jacob was popular, outgoing, and good looking. I thought I was the luckiest person on earth when he asked me to go out with him. My parents wouldn’t allow me to date until I was a senior, so he was my first boyfriend.
“We had been dating for about a month when we went to my homecoming dance. I was crowned queen.” Sera snorted as she recalled how happy she had been that night, how childish, and naive. “At that moment, it was the greatest night of my life. After the dance we went to a party at my friend Lisa’s house. I never wanted the night to end but I had a two o’clock curfew so Jacob drove me home.”
She closed her eyes as she tried desperately not to shed the tears pooling in her eyes. Liam remained silent as she nestled closer to him, needing to know that he was there, that Jacob was the past, and that she would never have to see him again. That he couldn’t hurt her anymore. Liam’s hands massaged the back of her scalp as he hugged her tighter to him.
“He was drunk, but I didn’t care, nothing bad could happen to either of us,” she continued in a strangled voice. “He pulled onto a side road and drove to a place that we had gone to a few times before. It was nice there, quiet, no one bothered us.
“He started to kiss me, and at first it was nice, you know. But then... I don’t know; I don’t know anything anymore.” She blinked rapidly as she lost the battle against her tears and one slid free. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” she mumbled. “I haven’t even told Kathleen. She’d be so mad at me if she found out I told you, and not her.”
He gently clasped hold of her chin and lifted her head. She looked up at his handsome face, as he stared tenderly down at her, his eyes dark and stormy. “You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to,” he assured her, gently wiping the tear from her face. The tender gesture nearly undid her. She blinked rapidly against the flood of tears that wanted to spill forth.
“I know, maybe that’s why I can tell you. Or maybe it’s because for some reason, I don’t know why, but I feel that I can trust you.” Although, she often put her trust in the wrong people. First Jacob, then her parents, and most recently Michelle.
He smiled as his finger continued to stroke her face. “You can trust me Sera,” he vowed.
She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. “I want to.” His hand stilled upon her cheek as something flashed through his eyes. Something that seemed to be filled with longing and wistfulness. Sera’s breath caught in her throat. In that moment she knew that she could tell him anything, trust him with anything.
She raised her hand and gently took hold of his. She couldn’t tell him the rest if she kept looking at him. She would get lost in him and forget everything else. For a moment she wished for that, but she knew that if he was ever going to truly understand her, than this was something that he needed to know. She lowered her head and buried herself within the warm security of his powerful arms.
“Like I was saying, I don’t know what happened, but everything seemed to go from blissful, to frightening in a moment. I tried not to be scared, but I was. I had planned on losing my virginity to him that night, and I had wanted it to be perfect, but suddenly I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to. I told him to stop, if only just to give me a few moments to calm down and relax.”
Sera’s voice became tighter as she continued. Memories were washing over her, threatening to suffocate her with their intensity. She could suddenly feel Jacob’s hands on her again, smell his stinking, alcohol drenched breath; taste her blood in her mouth.
“No matter what anyone says, I know that I told him to stop. But, he wouldn’t. He just kept saying that this was what supposed to happen, that this was our night; that I had said I would. He ripped my dress, tore the front out of it. I started to cry, and he told me to shut up, to stop being a selfish bitch. I tried to make him stop, I screamed, God did I scream, and I beat wildly at him until my hands were bruised, and numb.”
Sera’s words tumbled out in a heedless rush that revealed her intense grief. A fiery rage began to course through his veins as he thought of the man that had attacked her, a man that she had trusted. He knew that if Jacob had been standing in front of him, he would have killed him. He took a deep breath as he tried to fight against the animal thirst for revenge that was building inside him.
She took a hitching breath. “Then, he hit me,” she continued, her voice soft, small, and very fragile. The sound of it tore at his heart, ripped into his soul. His arms tightened around her in an attempt to block out the pain of her past. It was impossible.
“That hurt so much,” she whispered. “For a moment I nearly blacked out, but I knew that if I did, he would do whatever he wanted to me. I somehow managed to claw his face as he continued to fumble and paw at me. He bellowed with rage and smashed a fist into the side of my face. Blood spurted everywhere. It soaked him, and my dress, as it poured from my nose. I stopped fighting him and sat in shock.”
She swallowed heavily and forced herself to stay focused upon the present, and to get it all out. “I think it was the sight of all that blood that made him come to his senses. It coated everything. He started screaming at me to get out of the car, that I was getting blood everywhere, and making a mess. He didn’t have to tell me twice. I was out of there as fast as I could be. I walked home through the woods, clutching my dress together, and leaving a trail of blood behind me.
“When I got there, I couldn’t talk to tell my parents what had happened. My jaw was swollen shut, and I was in complete shock. They rushed me to the hospital, my mother in hysterics, and my father screaming about drunk drivers. It wasn’t until a few hours later that I was able to write down what had happened.”
Sera stopped as tears spilled out of her eyes. She tried to wipe them away, but now that they were flowing freely they wouldn’t stop. “Sera, you don’t have to say anything more. I understand.”
“There’s more,” she whispered, lowering her eyes.
He tried to raise her chin back up, but she kept her face firmly averted. She couldn’t look at him, not now. Not when the shame was boiling up in waves, not when the memories of Jacob’s hands upon her were so vivid, and real. She didn’t want him to see her humiliation.
“Sera...”
“I have to finish. I have to.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to continue speaking. “To make a long story short, my father called me a liar. He said that Jacob had told them that I had gotten drunk at the party, and taken off with a group of guys from his school. We must have gotten into a car accident, and I was trying to cover it up so that I wouldn’t get in trouble. The kids at school began to whisper about me behind my back, and my friends abandoned me. You don’t remain popular by calling the star quarter back a rapist.
“It didn’t matter that people had seen me leaving with Jacob that night, or that there had been no other guys around. No one wanted to believe that he could do such a thing. They all said that I had asked for it. That I deserved whatever happened, and that Jacob had done nothing wrong. Most of the guys already disliked me because I wouldn’t date them, and I think the girls had always secretly hated me. They now had their excuse to turn their backs on me.
“By the time that my father realized there had been no car accidents reported that night, and that people had seen me leave with Jacob, it was too late. The damage had been done. I hated them for not believing in me, for not trusting me. The only person that always believed me was my grandmother. I moved to Cape Cod to spend the rest of my senior year with her. It took some finagling, but she managed to get me a residential tuition rate here.”
He squeezed her chin gently, and she finally managed to lift her eyes to his. She was scared that she would find disgust, or pity, in his gaze. Instead, she found a startling wealth of warmth, and caring. The sight of it was enough to steal her breath away. “I’m sorry about what happened to you, and I wish that I could take the pain away. It never should have happened to someone like you. But the worst things always happen to the best people. I think you realize that.”
Sera nodded slowly as he bent his head and dropped a soft kiss on her trembling lower lip. He pulled away and lightly brushed the tears from her face. “I don’t know why I told you all of this,” she whispered softly. “I barely know you. You must think I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot Sera, and no matter what people said, or did, you did not deserve what happened, and you didn’t ask for it.”
She nodded slowly, it had taken her a long time to truly believe that, and there were times that she still doubted it. She had always thought that she had done something wrong, that she had encouraged it, but to have Liam say that she hadn’t made her feel better, stronger. For once, someone beside her grandmother believed in her, and was on her side.
He lay back on the bed, pulling her down with him. She didn’t stiffen against him, didn’t fight him as she lay down on top of him. His hands were soothing as they rubbed her back and hair. She nestled closer, his warmth and security pushing the remains of her terror away.
Liam stared at the ceiling as she cuddled against him. He couldn’t get over how small and delicate she was. Protective instincts he never knew he possessed raced through him. The anger was still there, radiating just beneath the surface, but he refused to let her see it. He didn’t want to frighten her with it.
“What do you say we order some pizza, rent some movies, and stay in tonight?” he inquired.
“What about the party?”
He knew that the last thing she wanted to do was go to a party right now, and neither did he. “I’d rather stay here, with you.”
She lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot from crying, but she was still exquisitely lovely. “I’d like that.”
He smiled as he pushed back her glorious hair. “Good.”
She curled up against his chest, and within minutes fell asleep again.
CHAPTER 5
Sera leaned against the door jamb and sighed softly. The frat house was packed with people, more people than she had ever imagined it could hold. They bumped and jostled her as they made their way through the crowd. Kathleen stood by her side, swaying with the music as she surveyed the dance floor. It was so packed that there was no room for them.
Danielle reappeared, slightly flushed and harried looking as she handed Kathleen another beer. “God it’s packed in here!” she cried.
Sera agreed as she studied the sea of heads. Kathleen sighed wearily as she ran a hand through her tussled, short bob. Even though they weren’t dancing, the heat of the room was enough to make them sweat. She cast Sera a small smile as she stood on tiptoe to look over the sea of heads.
Sera was still amazed that Kathleen wasn’t mad at her for not telling her about Jacob sooner, and for telling Liam first. At first she’d been hurt, more by the fact that Sera had told Liam first, but she had said that she understood. Sera had been even more surprised by the fact that Kathleen had stated that she’d known something had happened to Sera, she just wasn’t sure what exactly. She knew Kathleen, and patience was definitely not one of her virtues. Kathleen loved gossip, and hated being kept in the dark about anything, but although she had noticed it, she had never questioned Sera about her hesitancy around men, her cringing from them, or the fact that she had never dated. She had simply tried to help Sera get over it, in her own way, by forcing her to go to parties and to interact with people. And waited for Sera to tell her in her own time, and in her own way. Sera loved her even more for her consideration, and understanding. At first she had been worried that Kathleen had just said that she wasn’t mad, or upset with her, but over the past three weeks she had shown no sign of it.
Sera returned her smile as she turned to scan the crowd again. She spotted Liam’s dark head above the crowd as he wound his way toward them. Her heart immediately began to beat a little faster and a small smile curved her mouth. She had spent every night of the past three weeks with him. They had spent a few quiet nights hanging out in his room watching movies, and talking. A few other nights had been spent hanging out with Kathleen, Danielle, Mike, Jack, and Doug. Other times they had gone out to dinner, to the movies, and one absolutely ridiculous night of bowling where they had both made fools of themselves, and vowed never to do it again.
They had gone to parties, where every girl there hit on him, but he paid no attention to them as he stayed by her side, dancing with her, and never failing to make her feel as if she was the only woman in the room. He also never failed to make her feel safe and protected. When men leered at her, and made rude comments, one look from him was enough to silence them, and send them on their way.
Sera had never been so happy in her life, never had she felt this wonderful, this blissful, and this secure. He never pressured her, never forced her to do anything that she didn’t want to. When she stiffened involuntarily, he soothed her. When fear seized her for no reason, he understood and gently eased it from her.
She knew that she was falling in love with him, and it scared the hell out of her. She hadn’t thought it was possible to fall in love with someone in three weeks, but she knew now that she was wrong. But she was scared of losing him. There was only so much that a man could take before he got tired of being patient. Although he showed no signs of that happening, she was certain that it was only a matter of time. She just hoped she could get over her fear by then.
He stepped out of the crowd, flashing his dazzling grin as he handed her a beer. Sera took it and sipped slowly as she studied him through lowered lashes. “Hey guys,” Jack said appearing at his side. “This place is a mad house tonight!”
“That’s for sure!” Kathleen agreed.
Jack was bumped forward causing beer to slosh out of his cup. “Hey watch it!” he yelled over his shoulder before turning back to Liam. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah,” Liam replied. He turned back to Sera and kissed her quickly. “I’ll be right back.”
She nodded as he turned and followed Jack back into the crowd. “Well now, wasn’t that sweet.”
Sera turned in surprise at the voice in her ear. Michelle stood behind her, leaning casually against the wall as she surveyed her through narrowed eyes. Her long hair was lose and flowing around her elegant face. Despite the heat of the house, she somehow managed to look cool and refreshed.
Sera stared at her for a moment, trying to sort through the jumbled rush of feelings that rolled forward at the sight of Michelle. She hadn’t seen her since the night she’d left her dorm room. She didn’t know what to say to her now, or why Michelle suddenly seemed to hate her so much. She felt betrayed by her, and she was hurt, but she was also angry, and getting angrier.
“Hello Michelle,” she replied coldly.
“Haven’t seen you around much.” Nor had she attempted to either. Sera remained silent as Michelle causally brushed back a strand of hair. “You two make a cute couple,” she purred.
“Don’t they?” Kathleen inquired sweetly.
Michelle’s eyes flashed to her as a cruel smile twisted her face. “You’re a fool if you think that he really likes you.”
Sera stiffened angrily as her hand clenched around her cup. “I don’t think it’s any of your business Michelle.”
“You’re just pissed because he turned you down!” Kathleen snapped.
