She didn’t buy it; she was glum as glum could be, and no kind words would salve her wound.

  She went to the far side of the bed and took her Nana’s other hand.

  She held it tight.

  She wanted Nana to know she was there.

  She leaned over and whispered in her ear.

  “I love you, Nana. I miss you so very much.”

  She brushed a stray gray hair from Nana’s eyes and kissed her on her forehead.

  She’d wanted so much for this to be the day she finally woke up.

  The little girl still residing in her body just took it for granted it would be so.

  Really, now, how could it possibly not be?

  The fourteen year old inside her tried to convince her it was time to leave foolish dreams behind her.

  One couldn’t become a woman while still believing in fairy tales.

  Jennifer stood behind her and brushed her hair, as she’d done since Autumn was very young.

  She couldn’t see the child’s face, and Autumn tried very hard to hide her tears, but an occasional soft sob gave her away.

  Darrell left them there, the three of them, and took Samson and Meadow downstairs for a cheeseburger.

  Darrell was hurting too, for Rocki was his life and had been for many years.

  But it was important he be the rock his daughter and grandchildren expected him to be.

  Somebody had to be strong to keep the others from collapsing.

  By default it fell on him, the man of the family, to be that rock.

  As he walked down the hallway with Samson on one side and Meadow on the other he decided it was time to prepare them for the most likely outcome: the one no one wanted to admit was possible.

  But which was almost inevitable.

  “You know,” he started. “I think it’s probably time we started considering a world without your Nana in it.”

  “Don’t even go there,” Meadow said. It wasn’t a demand, yet was close to it.

  She knew where he was going and wanted no part of it.

  He continued anyway.

  “I’m just saying, sweetheart, that the odds are against her. As much as we love her, as much as we need her, we cannot force her body to heal itself. She suffered a terrible injury. An injury the body doesn’t always recover from. And there were other factors. The dehydration made things much worse, as did the amount of time it took us to find help.

  “I just think it’s time we consider the chance that she won’t wake up. If we accept it as a possibility, it’ll make it easier to deal with if that’s what happens.”

  He pulled Meadow close to him as they walked.

  She went silent.

  He got the sense she was contemplating her next words.

  He looked at Samson’s face.

  His eyes were moist and he was trying very hard to keep his tears from falling.

  For a very long time Samson had seen himself as the man of the house. His mother was a beautiful woman and had never lacked for suitors. But she was strong enough to not need a husband. She wanted to wait for just the right one.

  In Samson’s mind that day would never come.

  In Samson’s mind his mother would stay single until he was grown. And then he’d be the man of the family. He’d care for his mother until her dying day. There would be no need for second husbands or step-fathers or none of that foolishness.

  In Samson’s mind the future man of the family would not cry.

  But inside his heart was breaking.

  Chapter 20

  Something odd happened as Darrell and chitlins one and three walked down the hallway.

  The lights flickered.

  Now, to most people such an event is chilling.

  To most people it means there’s a problem with the electrical system. Perhaps the lights are getting ready to go out and cast them into darkness.

  But to Meadow it was a sign.

  Not an omen of a blackout to come, but rather a good sign.

  “That means something good is going to happen,” she said.

  “No,” Darrell countered. “It means somebody plugged the wrong cord into the wrong outlet.”

  “You’re wrong, Grandpa. You’ll see.”

  Darrell paused and looked at her.

  She’d always been the optimist in the family, always seeing the bright side when everyone else saw gloom. The others had always chided her for it.

  But this was the first time she ever answered back.

  And never, ever, in all her fifteen years, had she ever told her Grandpa he was wrong.

  Darrell wasn’t the only one who was a bit surprised.

  Samson’s jaw dropped and he looked at his sister like she’d lost her mind.

  Darrell, an arm around each of their shoulders, pulled them close to him.

  Then they continued on their way.

  Nothing had changed in Rocki’s room in their absence.

  Jennifer still sat on one side of the bed, brushing her mother’s hair.

  Autumn sat on the other side, reading her favorite fairy tale aloud.

  It was something Nana had insisted early on, as the chitlins started learning how to read.

  At bedtime, she read the first chapter.

  If they were asleep when she finished, she tucked them in and went on her way.

  But if they were awake it was their turn to read to her.

  On this day Autumn was the only one reading, for Rocki was still in that mysterious place one goes when they’re oblivious to everything around them.

  When Autumn read a fairy tale it came to life in her words.

  She read from one of her favorites, The Snowdrift Fairies:

  The girls almost fell off the drift, and snowdrift fairies never, ever, ever, ever fall to the ground. The three boy fairies dropped their icicles and almost skated into each other. The other seven fairies who were out running around the countryside didn’t even know about the BOOM.

  At the precise moment Autumn mouthed the word “BOOM,” Rocki’s pinkie finger twitched.

  It wasn’t much. An involuntary movement. We all twitch several times each night as we sleep and never realize it.

  But this… as small an incident as this was, it was greatly significant to Autumn.

  In all the days Autumn sat in the hospital at Nana’s side, in all the hours Autumn held her hand to let her know she was there… in all that time that finger had never twitched before.

  Not even once, and not even a little bit.

  “Momma,” she said excitedly. Did you see that?”

  “No, baby. See what?”

  “Her finger moved. I felt it.”

  Jenn knew better than to question her daughter. She was afraid she’d imagined the movement, or it was her own involuntary movement she mistook as her Nana’s. But she wouldn’t call her on it. It would be a cruel thing to dash her hopes.

  Instead, Jenn studied her mother’s face for any signs she was waking up.

  Sadly, there weren’t any.

  Autumn finished the book and took a short break to play a video game with her brother. Meadow took her place at Nana’s side and softly sang lullabies to her. Almost in a whisper.

  A couple of hours went by.

  Darrell walked into the hallway to buy drinks from a soda machine in the nurses’ break room.

  Autumn was back at her grandmother’s side, reading another favorite book.

  Jennifer never left the other side of the bed.

  Rocki’s hair was done now.

  “Beautiful,” according to Samson.

  Jennifer asked him if he wanted to paint Nana’s fingernails for her.

  “No way, dude!” he told his mother. “That’s sissy stuff!”

  Jennifer couldn’t argue the point. It was sissy stuff. All her life Jennifer and Rocki painted one another’s nails from time to time.

  Jennifer realized that time could be coming to an end. And while she offered Samson the chance to do it, she was glad he opted out.

  She really wanted to do it herself.

  “I’m gonna paint your nails red today, Mom. Grandpa will think you’re all sexy.”

  Rocki didn’t answer her, of course. But it was okay, as Jenn didn’t really expect her to.

  Jenn went back to painting and Autumn went back to reading a large book of fairy tales.

  A few minutes later, as she was describing the big bad wolf that’d just eaten Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, Jennifer let out a small gasp.

  Autumn didn’t notice. She was too engrossed in her task.

  A moment later, though, when Jennifer started to softly sob, her attention was lured away from the story.

  “What’s wrong, Momma?”

  Jennifer couldn’t speak, but instead nodded in Nana’s direction.

  When Autumn turned to look she saw Rocki watching her through very sleepy eyes, with as much of a smile as she could muster in her weakened condition.

  Autumn would later describe the day as, “Best. Birthday. Ever.”

  Chapter 21

  The entire ward heard Autumn’s little girl cries of “Nana! Nana! Nana!”

  And they all knew exactly what it meant, for they weren’t sorrowful cries. They were filled with joy.

  The nurses walked briskly toward her room.

  They were passed by Darrell, in an all-out sprint.

  In less than a minute the room was bursting with humanity. Even other patients who were ambulatory tried to crowd in. They, like everyone else in the sprawling hospital, were well aware of the chitins’ plight and the vigil they’d been keeping at Rocki’s bedside.

  Rocki couldn’t speak, though she tried mightily.

  But that was okay. Her voice would come back in time.

  The breathing tube they’d taken out two days before, but which she was intubated with for almost four weeks, had done its damage.

  Her throat was swollen and raw.

  And very dry as well, since she was getting all her liquids intravenously. Not so much as a single sip of water or tiny piece of ice had passed through her lips since the day she was admitted.

  Unfortunately, the celebration didn’t last for long.

  Her doctors let the family have their moment, far longer than they normally would have.

  A full half hour after Rocki first opened her eyes, though, they decided enough was enough.

  “Okay, we need to clear the room,” Dr. Spear said. “We need to get her vitals and labs done and run some tests and do some other things she won’t want the public to witness. We’ll give her back as quickly as we can, I promise.”

  It was with great hesitance they left. And they didn’t, as Dr. Spear suggested, go back to the hotel to get some rest.

  Instead they clustered just outside the closed door, eagerly awaiting the go-ahead to rush back in.

  Any time an orderly or a nurse came and went, they jockeyed for position and craned their necks to get a glimpse of what was going on inside. Even as the door closed in their faces.

  Finally, after an agonizing forty five minutes, Dr. Spear emerged from the room.

  “You little people can go in, but be gentle with her. Absolutely no crawling into bed with her. Remember she’s still injured.”

  Autumn, who’d been buddying up to the woman she called “Doctor Sarah” for days, said, “Thanks, Doc!”

  She didn’t wait for an acknowledgement, but was headlong into Nana’s room before her words finished echoing.

  The doctor looked at Jennifer and Darrell and said, “I can give you an update now if you want it, or later if you’d rather.

  The pair looked at one another.

  Both were desperate to get back into the room. Partly to make sure the kids didn’t overtax Rocki and partly because they wanted to spend time with her too.

  At the same time, they were (allegedly) the adults in the group. As such they needed to know what they were dealing with.

  Was this a permanent change in her condition? Or was this just a temporary step forward? Could they expect her to stay awake, and to continue to recover fully?

  Or was this just a cruel trick the body sometimes played, to tease its owner and their loved ones with something that wasn’t meant to be?

  The cruelest thing any of them would ever experience was to see their beloved Nana awake temporarily, only to relapse into the deep sleep from whence she’d come.

  They wanted to rush back into the room right behind the children.

  But they needed to stay back, to find out how her prognosis had changed, and where they’d all go from here.

  They resisted the urge to run and stayed behind to hear the doctor out.

  “She appears to have come through with remarkably little damage. She’s alert and seems to understand our questions. She’s unable to answer verbally, but can answer yes or no questions by blinking her eyes.

  “I’m concerned about some weakness on her left side. She seems to have very little strength in her left leg, especially. That’s not something I would have expected based on the location of the blood clots in her brain and the permanent damage they did. But mapping the brain isn’t an exact science and sometimes we’re thrown a curve ball.

  “Other than that, she’ll almost certainly have memory lapses and her cognitive skills will almost certainly suffer to some degree. If we can help her regain strength in her left side, though, she should have an almost full recovery.

  “Any questions?”

  Darrell asked, “We talked before about memory and cognitive skills, but only in vague terms. Can you explain what you mean in specific details?”

  “Well, the most notable thing is she’ll likely have problems with short term memory.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “One of my youngest daughter’s favorite cartoon movies was about a fish who goes off looking for his missing son.”

  “Yes. That’s one of the kids’ favorite movies too.”

  “There’s a blue fish in that movie. Her name was Dory. Do you remember her?”

  “Yes, of course. She repeated herself over and over again. Sometimes she asked a question and five seconds later asked the very same question.”

  “Rocki may experience the same condition. It’s not because she wants to be annoying. It’s because she won’t remember asking the question the first time, so she’ll ask it again. She might ask it several times, so you’ll just have to learn to be patient with her.”

  “That’s not a problem. I don’t care if she asks me the same question a thousand times. I’m just glad she’s alive to ask it.”

  Dr. Spear went silent for a moment.

  “What, Doctor? What is it?”

  “She will also forget things. Or people. Sometimes very important people.”

  “Uh oh…”

  “When we were assessing her one of the things we asked her was whether she knew where she was. She blinked one time for yes. We asked her if she thought she was in a hospital. She blinked twice for no. We asked her if she was in a supermarket. She blinked once for yes.

  “Now, that’s not necessarily something to worry about. After all she’s been through some confusion is certainly to be expected.

  “But there’s something else which concerns me considerably.”

  “What?”

  “We asked her if she knew everyone around her when she woke up. She blinked twice for no.

  “We asked her if she recognized the little girl who was reading to her. She blinked once for yes.

  “We asked her if she knew the older girl. And we asked her if she knew the boy. She blinked yes for both of them.

  “We asked her if she recognized the woman in the room when she opened her eyes.

  “She blinked yes. We asked her if it was her daughter Jennifer. Again, yes.

  “Then we asked if she knew the man standing next to the woman. You, Darrell…”

  “And?”

  “She said no. We asked if she’d ever seen you before. Again, no. I’m afraid she doesn’t know you from Adam.”

  Darrell felt light headed. Jenn grabbed his arm, fearing he would pass out.

  And indeed, he felt as though he’d been hit by a ton of bricks.

  “Will… will my memory ever come back to her?”

  “I can’t say for sure. Quite possibly. In the meantime, we haven’t told her you’re her husband. We’ll let you guys do that when you think the time is right. But be gentle with her. She’s come a very long way, but she’s still fragile. And she will be for quite some time.”

  Chapter 22

  Gwen took the lasagna out of the oven just as Hannah finished buttering the French bread.

  The door to Gwen’s RV opened and Melvyn poured himself in.

  Gwen said, “You look beat, honey.”

  He grunted, “This is the hardest work I’ve ever done in my life. But you know what? It’s also very rewarding. There’s just something rather cool about helping your neighbors build their homes, knowing that someday soon the work you’re doing will reward them with a great place to live for generations. People that aren’t even born yet will be enjoying the fruits of our labor for a very long time.

  “And even better yet is the knowledge that Tom and our other friends will pay us back on our own cabin.

  “I’ll be honest, honey. When we were on our way here I was a little worried. I thought that maybe I was too old to be dragging heavy logs around and swinging an axe for two hours a day.

  “But I underestimated myself. I’m stronger than I thought I was, and I’m getting stronger every day.

  “Here. Feel this.”

  He flexed his bicep and she squeezed it. It was hard as a rock.

  She was impressed.

  “My goodness. You haven’t been that strong in forty years.”

  “I know. And guess what? I’m actually having fun out there. I thought physical labor like building houses was a young man’s game. But I’m actually having a blast. I’m able to do things I never thought I’d do again.”

  She kissed him and said, “Just do me a favor, honey, will you?”

  “Anything for you, my dear. Just name it.”

 

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