Impossible, page 23
“It’s rather humiliating how much I want you.” Her cheeks flushed.
“It’s damned intoxicating.” He bent his head and kissed her as he stroked his fingers into her.
She gripped his upper arms as she spread her legs wider and began to fall backward. He eased her down, never ceasing his thrusts into her wet channel. Breaking the kiss, he moved his lips down her throat into the valley between her breasts before sliding to the right and taking her nipple into his mouth.
He sucked hard, and she bucked up. He’d already been barreling toward his orgasm when she’d had her mouth on his cock, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to explode.
Pulling away from her, he worked to draw a deep breath. It was a trifle difficult due to the height of his excitement.
“I’m going to lie down, and you’re going to get on top of me so that you can finish what you started. Understand?”
Her gaze was dark and heavy lidded. “I think so.” She moved to give him room.
Anticipation screamed through him as he climbed onto the bed and positioned himself. He flattened his palms against the coverlet.
She flicked a glance toward his cock, her brow creasing so that those adorable pleats he loved formed between her brows. “And I’m to straddle you?”
“Put your mouth on my cock, Ada. Then let me put my mouth on your pussy. Now, please?” It wasn’t a command, but if she didn’t move quickly, he was going to frig himself out of desperation.
Her hair was still mostly held up by pins, but dark strands caressed her face and nape. She tucked errant curls behind her ears and lowered her head to his waist. She grasped his cock and put him in her mouth. Then she moved over him.
The scent of her arousal filled his senses as he clasped her thighs and positioned her. He started with his thumb, swirling over her clitoris. He’d forgotten the focus it took to give while receiving, but he was so eager to taste her again.
Holding her open with his thumbs, he licked inside her, thrusting his tongue in and out as he’d done with his fingers. She began to move against him, her hips rolling with a persistent rhythm that he responded to with his own body.
She sucked him deep, then lifted, her hand moving up his cock along with her mouth. His hips rose with her as pleasure coiled within him.
He increased the pressure of his tongue and moved one thumb up to her clitoris. She answered by taking him farther into her mouth and closing harder around him, her hand stroking him with ruthless, relentless vigor. The she cupped his balls, squeezing gently as she drew him to the back of her throat.
He cried out against her and gripped her backside, digging his fingers into her flesh as he rushed toward his orgasm. Working his thumb furiously over her clitoris, he speared his tongue into her and licked at her wet folds. Her muscles quivered, then clenched, and he sensed she was about to come.
Good, because he was lost.
Her muscles tensed as his hips jerked. Hell, he had no idea if she wanted him coming in her mouth, but it was too late.
Eyes closed, he fought to deliver her into ecstasy while riding his own. He’d no idea what he did next. There was only bliss and satisfaction and the desperate need to never let her go.
At some point, she left him, and he heard her deep, rapid breaths that matched his own. He worked to steady himself—his limbs were shaking. Damn, he didn’t remember when he’d felt this good.
He felt the bed move and opened his eyes. She’d turned around and moved next to him.
“That was…astonishing,” she said, pushing hair out of her face. More of it—much more—had come loose.
“I thought you might enjoy that.”
“I think it’s my new favorite thing.” Her gaze fell on his shoulder, and she gasped, her eyes rounding. “You’re bleeding!”
He’d completely forgotten about his wound. “It doesn’t hurt.” Well, now that they were talking about it, it did.
She sat up and untied the bandage, which was close to her. Carefully, she lifted it from the wound. “It’s just a trickle. Still, we should not have done that. I’ll make a fresh bandage and re-dress it.” She looked him in the eye. “Don’t move.”
“I don’t think I could if I wanted to. You quite ruined me.”
“Sorry.”
He smiled. “In the best way.” He pulled her head down and kissed her soundly but briefly. “Thank you.”
She left the bed and went back into the main room. When she returned, she had a new bandage and a damp cloth, which she used to clean the wound again.
Max closed his eyes as she cared for him. He could get used to this.
To what exactly?
To her. With him. All the time.
He loved her, he realized. But he didn’t want to. The pain that came with losing that love wasn’t worth it. Ada had been right. He was wounded. What she couldn’t realize was that, like the scars on his body, those wounds would always be there. He was not the man he was before, nor could he ever be. She deserved a whole man—someone who could be as brilliant and rapturous for her as she was for him.
That wasn’t him.
She finished tying the new bandage around him. “There we are, all better. Now, no more exerting yourself.”
He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She’d let her hair down and tied it over one shoulder with a ribbon. “You helped.”
Her lips parted, and she gave him a scolding stare. “You’re teasing me.” Then she laughed. “That is so delightful. You must do it again.”
“Alas, I suppose I must dress myself and find my way to my chamber.”
She shook her head firmly. “Nonsense. I said no exertion. That includes putting on clothes and leaving the bed. You’re sleeping here, and I won’t brook any argument.”
“I would never argue with you.” He couldn’t stop the grin that split his lips.
She laughed. “You’re rather good at this teasing thing.”
After tidying up from rebandaging him, she helped him under the covers then rounded the bed to climb in herself. Turning toward him, she asked, “Do I need to put on a night rail, or will you behave yourself?”
He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the knuckles. “Do you really think a night rail is sufficient barrier for either of us?”
She blew out a breath, making a silly sound with her lips. “You make a valid point. We shall both have to do our best. I don’t want you opening that wound again, though. Do you understand?”
“Yes, mistress.”
She smiled, then leaned over to kiss him before rolling to her side.
He stared at the back of her head and basked in the joy that always surrounded her. Somehow, she’d managed to not only bring it to him—she’d given it to him when he’d thought he could never feel it again. Whatever happened tomorrow or the day after that, he’d be forever grateful to her.
Chapter 18
Ada helped Max back to his room early, but it was well past dawn. They’d overslept. She wasn’t surprised, considering the excitement of the night before. She helped him get into his own bed and instructed him to go back to sleep to help his shoulder recover.
As she’d kissed him goodbye, she wondered if that would be the last time. Presumably, he’d leave tomorrow. Which meant they had tonight. But should they spend it together knowing they would part in the morning? It was getting more and more difficult.
For her, anyway. She’d no idea how he felt, and she didn’t have the nerve to ask him.
What would he say? That he hated to be apart from her and wanted her to be his wife? There was no way he was ready to do that now—he was still healing. And when he was himself again, or as much himself as he could hope to be, there was no telling what he would do. He’d been clear about his intent to remain unwed and to allow his title to go extinct.
Last night had been full of revelations. She now fully understood the weight of his burden and the depth of his guilt and despair. She also saw that he was healing, despite what had happened at Vauxhall.
It was difficult not to abandon her work in favor of checking on him. Had he already gone to Lady Peterborough’s? Ada was eager to hear how that went. Hopefully, she’d see him tonight on the men’s side of the club. After last night, there was no guarantee he would want to be in a group of people.
But it could be his last night in London. If he didn’t come, she might consider pushing him into it. When he returned to Stonehill, he could go back to being a hermit.
The thought of that tore at her heartstrings.
It occurred to her in that moment that she ought to perhaps push herself. She’d been thinking of what Evie had said in the coach about taking a boat to Vauxhall. It was, mayhap, time to conquer her fear of the water.
She could take a small boat out onto the Serpentine. That would be easy enough. But the Serpentine was hardly the type of water that made her quake. Oh, she’d avoid it most certainly, but if she truly wanted to overcome her terror, she should take a wherry down the Thames.
The idea made her blood turn cold.
Perhaps she could ask Max to come with her. She knew he would. Even so, she couldn’t depend on him—shouldn’t. It would make his eventual departure that much more painful.
Evie or Prudence, or both of them, would go with her. They could make a day of it, perhaps traveling down to Hampton. Well, perhaps not that far.
Before she could relegate it to the back of her mind, Ada gathered her courage and stood from her desk. She made her way down one flight of stairs to Evie’s office.
The door was open, so Ada stepped inside. Evie sat behind her desk writing, the late morning sun streaming from behind her. She looked up and smiled, but a touch of concern marred her normally smooth brow. “Good morning, Ada. I didn’t want to bother you after last night’s excitement. How is Warfield?”
Ada considered prevaricating, but Evie wasn’t stupid. She at least knew that Ada had cared for his wound upon returning to the club. “His injury wasn’t that bad.”
Evie stood and moved around her desk, gesturing to the settee before taking a seat. “And his general demeanor? Is that improved?”
Sitting beside Evie, Ada again decided not to lie. “I think so. The fireworks seem to have put him in a place where he thought he was at war again. Then those men accosted me, and he reacted in a violent manner. He was quite shaken by it all.”
“I could see that. He was also rather angry with Lucien.” She frowned. “Lucien would not explain it to me. I don’t suppose Warfield told you the truth of the matter?”
“That is between him and Lucien.” It was the most diplomatic thing Ada could think to say. She absolutely wouldn’t break Max’s confidence. “I did advise him to speak with Lucien and to mend their breach, if he could.”
“Will he?” Evie clucked her tongue. “I’ve never seen Lucien upset like that.” That was saying something since Evie knew him perhaps better than anyone. She’d been his mistress for some time, and they were still close friends. Ada had asked her once if there was any hope for them in the future. Evie had responded there was not, that she had no romantic feelings for him, nor did he for her.
Ada shrugged. “I can’t say for certain.”
“You and Warfield seem rather close. Dare I hope there is something between you?”
“Why would you, of all people, hope for that?” Ada asked with a laugh. Evie was as against marriage as a person could be. As a former courtesan, she had no desire to be owned by a man ever again. She had no need of their money, and she argued that love could be had without the bondage that marriage required.
“Just because I don’t wish to be a wife doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.” Evie held up her hand before Ada could speak. “I know you prefer to remain unwed, to cling to your independence. But sometimes I think you’re trying to emulate me.”
Ada appreciated Evie’s shrewdness, and she wasn’t wrong. “I did once; however, I am quite content to be Ada Treadway, bookkeeper. For the first time, I feel needed and important, that my loss would be felt. I don’t know that I can trade that for anything.” Emotion tickled her throat, and she coughed gently.
“Hear, hear,” Evie said softly. “I’m so very proud of you. I will be forever glad for the day we met in that tearoom in St. Germans.”
“No more than I.” It was there that Evie had detected Ada’s sorrow. She’d just left her position as governess a few days before and was trying to determine how to make her way as an unwed mother without employment. Evie had taken charge, drying Ada’s tears, and counseling her on how she could reclaim her life.
Buoyed by Evie’s support and instant care for her welfare, Ada had decided not to have the baby. After a short time, Evie and Ada had traveled to western Cornwall. Those months had shown Ada what the life of an independent woman could be—and she wanted that.
Now she had it.
“I came to see if you might help me face my fear of the water.”
A look of distress passed over Evie’s features. She reached over and touched Ada’s forearm. “Is this because of my insensitive comment last night?”
“Yes, but that’s not a bad thing, truly. In helping Max—Lord Warfield—to heal, which requires him to overcome his own fears and challenges, I find I am somewhat of a hypocrite. So I’m going to get on a boat. I’d thought to take a wherry from the Horse Ferry perhaps down to Somerset House.” She shuddered. “Will you come with me? I plan to invite Prudence too.”
“Of course! Though, Prudence may not want to get on a wherry if she feels sick from the babe.”
Prudence was expecting a child, which only a select group of people knew. Ada had talked Prudence through her shock and fear at learning she was pregnant—that was before she’d married Glastonbury. Fortunately, all had worked out well and they’d discovered a mutual love and devotion, but it hadn’t been easy.
“That’s certainly true, though I think she’s felt well for the most part. I’d like to go tomorrow.”
“So quickly?”
“I don’t want to lose my nerve.”
Evie grinned. “Then, let’s do it. I’ll arrange for someone to pick us up at Somerset House.”
Joanna, one of the footwomen appeared in the doorway of the office. She wore a puzzled expression. “Pardon me for interrupting. There’s a gentleman here to see Miss Treadway.” She darted a glance toward Ada. “I told him that we don’t receive gentlemen on this side of the club, but he was most insistent.”
Ada’s first thought was that it was Max, but it wouldn’t be him. He knew the rules of the club and had demonstrated his ability to circumvent them. This sounded like someone who didn’t know what the Phoenix Club was and had arrived here looking for Ada.
“We’ll have to receive him on the men’s side,” Evie said with authority, standing. “Instruct him to go to that door, and I’ll have Sebastian show him up to Lucien’s office.”
Joanna nodded, then left.
Ada rose, wondering who it could be. “Before you ask, no, I don’t know who it is. I’m as perplexed as Joanna.”
“We shall find out soon enough.” Evie preceded her over the threshold, and they made their way to the men’s side, arriving quickly at Lucien’s office.
Seated at his desk reading, Lucien looked up as they entered. “Good morning. Am I in trouble?”
“No, why would you think that?” Evie asked.
“Because you’re both here, and last night was, ah, difficult.”
“You aren’t in trouble,” Ada said, moving into the office to stand near the settee. “We aren’t even here about that.”
“How is Max?” he asked quietly.
“Better than you probably think,” Ada responded. “I’m hopeful that you’ll hear that from him, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter. We’re here because a gentleman has come to see me. Evie thought I could use your office.”
“Actually, I said ‘we’ would receive him,” Evie clarified. “If you think I’m leaving you alone to meet some unknown man, even in the security of the club, you don’t know me very well.”
“Perhaps I should stay too,” Lucien offered, rising from his chair.
Ada exhaled. “While I appreciate you both very much, I am a grown, independent woman.”
Sebastian appeared in the doorway, his blue gaze sweeping the occupants of the office. “Mr. Jonathan Hemmings is here for Miss Treadway.”
Thankfully, the settee was close, for Ada sank onto it, her jaw dropping just before she clapped her shaking hand to her mouth.
Evie sat down beside her. “Oh dear. You can’t want me to leave now.”
“Then I’m staying too,” Lucien said, walking to the far side of the fireplace, where he leaned against the mantel.
Ada wasn’t at all sure she wanted them as an audience for whatever Jonathan was here to say. But she also wasn’t able to form words at the moment. She’d never thought to see him again.
“Show him in,” Evie said, giving Ada’s suddenly frigid hand a squeeze.
Jonathan entered, hat in his hands, his familiar face tugging at something deep inside Ada, something she’d thought forever buried. His brown eyes crinkled at the edges, his mouth splitting into his charming, boyish smile. “Ada, you look well.”
Somehow, she managed to speak. “As do you. I’m shocked to see you, however.”
His focus darted to Evie and then Lucien before settling on Ada once more. She answered his silent question. “Allow me to introduce my employers, Lord Lucien Westbrook and Mrs. Evangeline Renshaw.”
Jonathan bowed. “I’m so pleased to meet the people who’ve given my Ada a haven.”
Ada bristled. His Ada?
Smiling tightly, Jonathan continued, “I wonder if we might have a few minutes alone to speak privately. I’ve some news I wish to share with Ada.”
Ada whispered to Evie, “I’ll be fine. Would you mind waiting outside and taking Lucien with you?”
Evie squeezed her hand again before letting it go. “I’ll be just outside if you need me.” She stood and looked to Lucien, silently indicating he should go with her.
Lucien didn’t seem to want to, but he went, his gaze fixed on Jonathan. “We’ll be right outside.”
