“You’re what’s up,” he said to her. “Shanice, you’ve got something that’s bothering you, and I don’t like it.”

  “I ain’t got nothing on my mind,” was her feeble answer.

  “The hell you don’t. Look … whatever it is that’s bothering you, I don’t know about it, except that I don’t like it. I want you to take the rest of the day off, you hear me. Go home and try and get yourself back together and then bring yourself on back tomorrow morning if you’re feeling better.”

  “Who’s going to run my shift?”

  “I already called Gina a couple of minutes ago. She’ll be here in less than twenty.”

  The grim look in her boss’s eyes told her this wasn’t an argument she was apt to win. She sighed before replying:

  “Alright, you’re the boss. Could I at least finish serving until Gina gets her?”

  He reluctantly allowed her to do that, figuring it was the least bit of work she could do until she left for home. Shanice went back into the Deli, via the kitchen, and was just in time to pick up the next order that was coming up.

  It was an unlikely bit of coincidence that she had picked up the order meant for the one person she’d promised herself not to see or speak with again … though how could she have known as she approached the table where Eric sat facing her, with a look of surprise and anxiousness on his face, the same too that was on hers. She noticed the little girl seated beside him; she too was staring at her. Shanice felt her heart beginning to trot as she drew to a stop before his table. This wasn’t how she’d planned for the day to happen.

  “Hi Shanice,” said Eric. “You’re looking good today.”

  Shanice dropped his order on his table, giving him a cool and distant look. “Nice seeing you, Eric.” She turned to leave but Eric half stood from his table and grasped her arm. Shanice stared at him sharply, not wanting to make a scene. Eric too was thinking the same thing and quickly let go of her arm.

  “Please, just give me a few seconds,” he pleaded. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me anymore. But before that happens, I’d like to introduce you to a very special someone.” He indicated to Gloria who stood up from her seat. “This is my daughter, Gloria.” He turned to his daughter. “Gloria, honey, this is that special friend I told you about. Her name’s Shanice.”

  “Please to meet you,” said Gloria, sticking out her hand towards Shanice, who stood there for a moment, too dumbfounded with the picture that was unravelling before her eyes. She too reached out and shook her hand.

  “Nice meeting you too, Gloria.” Shanice switched her gaze back at Eric. There were a thousand questions dancing in her head right there and then.

  Eric took one of the food plates to the table beside theirs and told Gloria to sit there and eat her meal while he and aunt Shanice have a moment to talk. Shanice planted herself on the seat across from his, glad that her boss had given her the rest of the day off.

  “The woman whom you met at my apartment the other day,” said Eric, indicating his thumb at Gloria. “She’s her mother.”

  “She said you and her are married.”

  “We were married, but that was nearly five years ago. It ended not long after Gloria was born, and it’s been that way ever since.”

  Shanice thought for a moment. “That wasn’t what she told me,” she said.

  “That’s Tara for you—she’s a conniving woman who’s told nothing but lies about me. She’s always looking for means of hurting me.”

  “How did it end between the both of you?”

  “It was ugly. I was having a hard time of life, and Tara had a lot of friends keeping her company. I was blinded by my love for her, and she wound up using it against me. She took me to court and told lies about me. Got a restraining order on my head and virtually stopped me from having anything to do with my little girl.”

  “So why’s she back now?”

  Eric shook his head. “I don’t know, and I don’t care. I don’t want her—it’s you I want to be with.”

  Shanice looked down at the table for a moment. This certainly wasn’t going the way she’d planned. She was supposed to leave her still harbouring anger and hatred for the hurt she’d had when she visited his apartment that last time and ran into his ex. Even when he’d tried talking to her last time and she’d told him off, she had felt a bit happy about that, knowing then that whatever pain that was in her heart would soon go away once he did. Last night she’d gone to bed promising herself that never again would she make herself seem so cheap to anyone … giving away her heart to anyone merely on a whim. But today—right now—wasn’t feeling like when she woke up in the morning.

  “Why … how come you never told me about her in the beginning?” she asked.

  “I didn’t remember, really, I didn’t. I haven’t thought about Tara in a long time … neither about my daughter,” he turned his head to stare affectionately at Gloria who was deep into what she was eating. “Sounds careless, I know. And stupid too, but it’s the truth. I’ve been so wrapped up in myself that for nearly two years now I’d forgotten I really had a daughter. Tara never allowed me visiting rights to see her until now. But I’m sorry I never told you. That was my mistake.”

  There had been a mountain-like iceberg forming in her heart from the moment Eric’s ex had uttered those lines that she figured had sealed whatever warmth she’d been having for him. Hearing him right now utter the words he just said had brought a drastic change to the iceberg. Instead of continuing being cold and increasing in size, there was a sun just appearing and it was melting it away. She didn’t know yet whether to be grateful for that or not … but it felt good somewhat to feel the sun coming in through her windows once again. Never did she think it would happen again, or that it would be like this. She leaned forward and took Eric’s hands in hers; there was no need for words to let him know he’d been forgiven.

  “So, how come she decided now to leave your little girl with you?”

  “That day she met you,” said Eric, “when I got back to the apartment, she was there waiting for me. She talked about wanting me back, but somehow I figured that was a lie. She just wanted to know how I was doing and to find some new means of twisting the knife once again inside my heart. She brought Gloria to my place today, hoping she would persuade me that way.”

  “She seems to be quite a character, your ex-wife I mean,” Shanice mused.

  Eric shrugged. “I can’t blame her—she’s a Cancer.”

  Shanice frowned at this. “The star or the disease?”

  “Wouldn’t you prefer it if she were both?”

  That cracked both of them up and they shared their laughter at it. Gloria turned to look at them, seeing they were happy at each other, returned to her meal.

  “What do you plan on doing about her?” Shanice indicated at his daughter.

  “I’ve been doing some quick thinking about that since morning. She too isn’t happy being around her mother. I’m thinking maybe now’s a better time to take her away from her mom. But how, I don’t know.”

  “I know next to nothing about child custody stuff, but I know the court system’s your best bet, and it’s not going to be an easy fight.”

  “I know that. Most times the courts prefer awarding the child with the mother and making the father look like a bum, which was practically what happened to me.” he stopped to observe Gloria; his eyes were getting misty. “I miss so much. I can’t believe all this time I never thought about getting her back in my life. I can’t believe what sort of absentee father I’ve turned out to be.”

  Shanice gave his hand a squeeze. “You said it yourself—your ex kept you away from her. There was nothing you could have done. Stop blaming yourself for that. If there’s anyone who deserves being blamed it’s her.”

  “That’s comforting to hear you say.” Eric took out his handkerchief and wiped the tears off his eyes. “I guess now the question that remains is where does all of this leave us. Are you still mad at me?”

  “I am mad at you,” she said. “But I’m willing to let down my guard on one condition.”

  He took her hand in hers. “I’m listening.”

  “No more keeping secrets from me. Ever.”

  He brought her hand to his lips and kissed them. “I promise never to do so again.”

  Shanice smiled at him and cupped his face in her hands, recalling the texture of his skin and loving it. And loving him as well.

  “Are you going to be working till evening?” he asked.

  “Actually my boss gave me the rest of the day off. I was thinking pissed at you and he kind of saw the dark look on my face.”

  “So, where would you like to go from here?”

  “My place,” she said, and smiled. “You coming?”

  “For sure I am. But first we’ll have to make a stop someplace else. I’ve got to return Gloria to her mother before she calls the cops on me.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Eric did drop his daughter back at the apartment building where she was staying with her mother. Eric had called her before they left the Deli to let her knowing they were coming. He’d left Shanice in the car while he took his daughter up and knocked at the apartment door. It wasn’t Tara who came to the door but a young sprug Eric reckoned she had picked up to keep her warm in bed. Tara was so good at finding such type of people.

  “Hi there,” Oliver waved a hand at him, grinning like a sheepdog. He was wearing jeans and his shirt was open, and was holding the neck of a bottle of beer in his other hand. “You’re Tara’s former man, ain’t you?”

  “The name’s Eric,” he said as he and Gloria entered the room. Gloria, he noticed, didn’t say nothing to Oliver. She didn’t even indicate that he was standing there next to them. “Is Tara around?”

  “Oh yeah, she’s in the bedroom taking care of herself. You want me to get you anything, like a beer maybe.”

  “No, thanks. Just tell her I’ve brought Gloria back. I’ll see her some other time.”

  He was about turning to make his exit when he heard someone call his name from behind. He turned around and there was Tara, looking young and lovely in a sheer evening robe. Her hair was done in the shape of a honey comb. Gloria went to sit herself on a couch and was turned away from them, watching a program on TV.

  “And here comes the lady herself,” Oliver crackled.

  At that moment, Eric so much wanted to give the young lad a smack or two; the cold look in Tara’s eyes told him that she too was probably thinking about doing the same thing.

  “Oliver, cover yourself up,” she said. “Don’t you have better things to do right now?”

  Whatever that meant, Eric didn’t care to know as Oliver left both of them alone and went and plumped himself on a separate couch, raising the bottle he had in his hand to his mouth. Tara led him out into the corridor, closing the door behind her so they could talk more privately.

  “I’m sorry about Oliver, Eric. He can be a bore sometimes.”

  “You really haven’t changed, Tara. Is this your new pet you’ve been walking around with?”

  “Give me a break, will you, Eric. It’s not like you’re here to keep me company. Besides, you’ve got your own lady friend, haven’t you?”

  “Yeah right,” he sneered. “The same lady friend you told lies to. Ain’t that the one you’re referring to?”

  Tara blushed. “I know I might have said some things to her that I ought not have, but you can’t blame a woman for being jealous sometimes.”

  “Get this straight, Tara. I don’t care what you do with your life—that’s your business. But I do care when you try to get involved in mine, and also when you bring your life towards our daughter. For God’s sake, how could you be doing what you’re doing with Gloria seeing you like this?”

  “Don’t you lecture me, Eric,” Tara snapped. “She’s my daughter, and how I raise her is my business, not yours. Oliver is good around her, and I never play around for Gloria to see.”

  “That’s not what she’s told me,” Eric snapped back.

  Tara sighed. “Look, what are we fighting for anyway? I know you miss her, and she misses you. Don’t you get it, Eric? I really want you back.”

  “Fat chance of that happening. I brought back Gloria as promised, so now you can go back in there and play ‘mom’ with your young pet. Goodbye.”

  He turned around and began walking away.

  “Don’t forget to call next time you want to come spend some time with her,” Tara said to him.

  Eric stopped at the bank of elevators and pressed a button before turning to reply her. “Get this through your head, Tara. The next time I’m coming back here is getting my daughter off of you. You’re not fit to be her mother; you never where.”

  As if on cue, the elevator doors eased open right that moment and Eric stepped inside, leaving Tara starry-eyed to think about what he’d just said.

  Shanice wasn’t in the car waiting for him. When he arrived at the lobby floor, she was there in the foyer, waiting for him.

  “I got depressed sitting in the car all by myself,” she explained as they walked about of the building and went towards where he’d parked his car. “Besides, I wanted to now if you needed assistance to talk to that bitch of an ex wife of yours.”

  “I don’t think that would be necessary. I told her about coming for Gloria next time I showed up.”

  “My hero! How did she take it?”

  “I didn’t wait to find out. But I know she won’t be happy about it.”

  * * * *

  Michelle didn’t know when she dozed off and she would have kept on sleeping had she not felt a continuous tap on her arm. Her eyes inched open and she saw Lincoln standing beside her, tapping her arm. He was wearing a fresh pair of clothes that she’d left out for him while he’d been asleep, and she couldn't help noticing how refreshed he now looked. She sat up in the chair where she’d fallen asleep, her knitting stuff lay on the floor, no doubt fallen from her lap when she’d dozed off.

  “Hey there Mich,” Lincoln smiled down at her. “You’re still a loud snorer than I am.”

  Michelle snorted. “Look at who’s talking. You have any idea how long you’ve been passed out? What time is it anyway?” she turned her head to glance out the window, noticing that the sky was turning dark outside.

  “It’s past five,” said Lincoln. “I put some hot water on the stove, thinking I’d make us some tea, if you’re interested.”

  Michelle smiled at him. “I am if you are.”

  They left the room and headed in the direction of the kitchen. Michelle asked about Monique and Lincoln told her she was asleep in her room. She stopped to look inside her room and smiled at the sight of her daughter dozing. Closing back the door, they went into the kitchen where the kitchen had begun steaming out its spout. Michelle wanted to set things up but Lincoln told her to sit instead while he got things done. She watched as he looked inside cupboards and drawers till he found the set of mugs and tea bags. He was looking miraculously healthy unlike how he’d been earlier. She didn’t know if it was the drugs she’d given him earlier or if this was just the way it often was—a self-deceiving calm before the storm.

  “Thanks. How’re you feeling right now, Linc?” she asked as he laid her cup of tea before her.

  “I bit fine for now. Don’t know when the next attack’s going to come around, or how it’s going to be like, but I’m feeling a bit better right now. I owe it all to you, my love.”

  “You owe me nothing, Linc.”

  “One thing I’ve never forgotten about you is how polite you often are when it comes to taking credit for something.”

  “Force of habit, I guess.”

  Lincoln filled his own mug and came and sat beside her. She held his hand while they sipped their tea, neither of them saying anything. Merely taking comfort in the silence and how in each other’s presence. When she turned to look at him, she noticed a sad look on his face and he was staring down into his cup, at the swirling sea that was his tea.

  “What’s wrong, Linc?”

  “Nothing serious,” he said. “There’s something I want you to do for me, Mich.”

  “What about?”

  “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while now. I don’t know how else to say it to you without you taking it the other way around ... except it’s the way it is.”

  “Whatever it is, Linc, we’ll get through it together. We’re strong together.”

  “That’s what I need to talk to you about, Mich.” He turned to stare at her. “We don’t have much time left. Or rather, I don’t have much time left. I’m going to be dead weeks or even days from now; the chances of us spending Christmas together is far-fetched, darling.”

  “What do you want me to do, Linc? Get you some more drugs?”

  He shook his head. “All that’s never going to stop the clock from ticking, babe. It’s nothing you or anyone but God can do to change things. And He’s got His hands full to think about saving my black hide.”

  “Don’t blaspheme, Linc. I told you before that it don’t matter what, I’m going to be with you through the end of this. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I know you aren’t, babe. And that’s why I wanted us to have this talk before things get worse. The thing is it’s alright, Mich. I’ve accepted what I’ve got and to live with it through the end. But what I want is for you not to go on killing yourself for me. I want you to live, babe. I want you to keep on being the good woman you are ... the good mother I know you are.”

  Michelle was unprepared to hearing him say this to her and didn’t know how well to take it. She felt hurt inside hearing him talk about himself dying ... and what was most painful about was that it was true. He’d lost a lot of weight and looked emaciated from the disease and knew it was only a matter of time—days or even weeks—when he would be here no more. How was she going to be able to stomach that when the day comes eventually? Nothing she could do about that. All that remained was to stem down the inevitable.

  “Please, Linc. I know it’s hard for you—it’s hard for me, too—but I’m begging you not to give up on me just yet. There’s got to be a way to fight this thing.” She could feel the tears coming to her eyes and tried fighting it back, but it wouldn’t go away. “Please ... don’t give up on me just yet. I need you to hang in there for a while. I’ll go to the hospital tomorrow and see if I can get in touch with some specialist—”

 

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