Egan, page 16
She offered, “I could help.”
“Maybe, but probably better if not so many people see this right now.”
Berry nodded. “So what is your working theory?”
“I was just wondering who it was that Yegorahn was talking about. Obviously it would have been nice if he’d left a note saying, ‘Hey, so-and-so did this,’” Egan said in a mocking tone. “However, that won’t help. The dead man is always blamed. Therefore, if something is going on in this camp, the story will be that Yegorahn did whatever.”
“Did you tell the colonel that?” she asked.
“No, that’s what Mountain’s doing right now.”
“Mountain?” she asked, startled.
He nodded.
“The big guy who comes and goes like a ghost?” she asked.
Egan laughed. “That’s a good way to describe him. He’s pretty ghostlike in his actions. But, if you’re ever looking for somebody to be on your side, he’s the one.”
“Does he ask questions and shoot later or shoot first?”
“He’s a good guy, and, if shit’s about to happen, he’s the one you want in your corner,” Egan shared. “And honestly, given his size, he doesn’t have to shoot.”
She laughed. “That’s a good point too.”
He grinned at her. “Seriously, if you ever run into trouble, and you can find him—”
“Which is the problem with a ghost,” she pointed out, “in that you can’t usually find him, if and when you need him.”
“That’s true,” Egan acknowledged the point. “However, he is somebody you can go to, no matter what.”
“No matter what?” she repeated.
Egan nodded. “No matter what. If your sister’s done something else, or you find yourself in a pickle, whatever it is, he’ll get to the bottom of it,” Egan declared. “He’s partly the reason why I’m here.” Her eyebrows shot up, and he nodded. “As I say, partly.”
“I thought you were a trainee here, like the rest of us.”
He gave her a fat smile. “No, definitely only part of my job.”
“Ah.” Berry sat back. “And that’s why you’re doubly pissed about Cherry …” And Berry let her voice hang, as he glanced around to see if anybody heard her and nodded.
“Yeah.”
“And the colonel knows?”
“Of course he knows,” he muttered, with a half smile. “We’re supposed to be all part of the same team.”
“And yet, according to what Yegorahn said,” Berry noted, “somebody was operating a team all on their own. How often would that happen?”
“If we were in Iraq and or any of our unit bases somewhere else, there’s always a certain amount of buying and selling on base. Up here? I guess I wasn’t expecting it.”
“And yet why not?” she asked. “People are still people.” He nodded absentmindedly at that, and she realized he had already glommed on to a specific thought in his head. “So, I’m hearing something, but I’m not seeing answers yet,” she added.
He nodded, clearly still caught up in thought.
“But you’ve obviously picked up on something,” she whispered.
He drew his gaze back to her and frowned.
She shook her head. “I’m not saying anything to anybody. Yet it’s obvious that something clicked just now with you.”
“Definitely something in the back of my brain,” he confirmed, “so just give me a few minutes while I read through my notes.” Then he turned his attention to the stack of papers and moved through them with a speed she didn’t think was possible.
When he set down the papers, she asked, “Jesus, are you a speed reader or something?”
He smiled. “Or something. I’ve always been good at reading and comprehending.”
“Yeah, I’m a good reader too”—she chuckled—“but I can’t go through pages like that.”
“I was looking for something specific,” he said, with a grin.
“And did you find it?”
He shook his head. “Not on this pass. So, that’s something else that’s bothering me.”
She glanced at the notes and then asked him point-blank, “Do you think some are missing?”
“Maybe. I did take copies before though.”
“So why did you have me make copies?”
He laughed. “What if they had been changed?”
“If so, then you know you have a bigger problem than when you first arrived. Someone is stealing your notes, even altering your notes.”
“That’s true. So now I need to go compare.” He pulled out his phone and looked at her. “I’ll work here for a while, so feel free to leave, if you want to head off and visit with your sister or something.” She glared at him, and he winced. “Okay, so that may not have been the best suggestion.”
“No, it sure wasn’t. I get why you would have otherwise suggested that, for somebody else’s normal sister, but for Cherry? No thanks.”
“Good enough.” He gave her a defensive hand gesture. “In that case, let’s get another cup of tea or cocoa and see what else I can find.” He picked up the papers again with a frown and quickly shuffled through them, until he found what he wanted.
She got up to fix another cup of tea. Several other people came and went, but they ignored him, which was good, considering what his mood was like. When she turned to head back to the table, she noted that Mountain had joined Egan. She hesitated as she approached. “Do you want me to leave you guys alone?”
Mountain frowned at her and then shook his head. “It’s fine, but … can you give us ten?”
“Absolutely.” She looked over at Egan. “Come by later,” she invited. “I get that you’re busy now. I’ll talk to you after a bit.” And, with that, she quickly escaped.
She headed past the medical clinic, worried about her sister for some reason, but more so because Berry had just walked off earlier instead of saying goodbye. She knocked on the door and stepped inside to see her sister curled up in a ball, sobbing gently. Berry groaned, walked over, put her tea down beside Cherry, and said, “Have a cup of tea.”
Cherry shifted and looked at her, with a groan. “You’re talking to me?”
“Of course I’m talking to you,” she said in exasperation. “I may not like what you’ve done here, or what you’ve done in the past,” she clarified, with an eye roll, “and it’ll definitely take me some time, but you’re still my sister.”
Cherry nodded slowly, a smile trying to break free, as she whispered, “Thank you for that. Everybody else seems to just be mad at me.”
“Look at it from their point of view. They’ve been trying to solve a mystery, several murders, find missing people, fix generators, stop people from stealing food, and do it before anybody else gets killed,” she declared. “And every time they turn around, they find out you’ve been withholding information. So, of course they’re pissy. Who wouldn’t be?”
She shifted the cup of tea closer to her and sighed when she took a big sniff of the aroma. “I was afraid you would never speak to me again.”
“Of course I will,” Berry groaned, as she pulled up a chair beside her sister. “But it’s not easy, hearing all the horrid things you’ve done to me, against me, and I wonder why I even care. Sometimes I just don’t like you,” she admitted, “but the bottom line is, you’re still my sister. And, in spite of every evil thing you have done, I do love you.”
Her sister gave her a teary smile. “Thank you. I really needed to hear that.”
“Now that you’ve heard it, you can relax. … Obviously my shock and horror is not over, not in the sense of all the things that I know and need to come to terms with but—”
“What about the cute hunk you’re hanging around with?” Cherry asked, almost enviously.
“What? Egan?” Berry asked.
“Is it serious?”
“How can it be serious? Look where we are.”
Cherry nodded. “And yet I had hopes with Yegorahn.”
“Come on,” Berry began. “You know perfectly well that would have been very much a romance for here and not for later. … So I’m not sure how much you’re deluding yourself into that or just looking at him as a lifeline to get out of here.”
“Probably a lifeline to get out,” Cherry muttered. “God, I hate it here.”
“Maybe, but you won’t change it anytime soon.”
“Yeah, I’ve come to realize that,” she acknowledged. “I need to make the best of it, at least until I’m shipped out,” she nodded, “and I don’t even know what that’ll look like.”
“I don’t know either,” Berry admitted.
“But you can talk to the brass for me, couldn’t you?” she asked, looking at her suddenly.
Berry stared at her sister and shook her head. “No, I can’t. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about this one,” she murmured. “Oh, I get it. That’s not what you want to hear from me, but, if you only want to be friendly so I can save your ass,” Berry spoke frankly, “it ain’t happening. It’s already too far gone for me to do anything.”
“You could ask for leniency,” she added.
“What good will that do? I don’t even know what the problem is ultimately, except for the drug use, the lying, the obstruction, the attack on your superior officer,” she said. “I don’t know what they will come after you for, but, whatever it is, you maybe had mitigating circumstances, and hopefully some people will understand that.”
“Will they though?” Cherry asked, shuddering. “I don’t think anybody’ll understand anything about me ever again,” she muttered.
Berry wasn’t sure what to do with her sister’s obviously melancholic mood, but she had to say something. “The important thing is to get well and to get out of here.”
“Sure, and how do you propose I do that?” she asked in exasperation. “I’d love to get out of here, but I don’t see that happening right now.”
“Maybe not right now, but you shouldn’t be too much longer in detox here in the clinic,” Berry replied, “at least that’s what I’m hoping.”
Cherry laughed. “We’ll be lucky if any of us get out of here alive.”
“Yeah, depending on what you had to say about Yegorahn and the meeting he had set up with this person, maybe that’s the reason for all these deaths,” Berry stated. “I don’t know.”
Cherry stared at her and shrugged. “Yegorahn didn’t seem to think he was in any danger, and he was a big guy.”
“But that size often comes before a fall,” Berry pointed out. “Big guys tend to think that they can handle everything, until they’re up against it, and they can’t,” she murmured. “So, while I’m sorry he’s dead, that attitude wouldn’t help.”
“No, but he was really nice to be around,” Cherry shared wistfully.
“Meaning, he looked after you,” Berry stated. She glared at her sister.
Cherry glared right back. “You don’t seem to care. You don’t seem to want anybody to look after you.”
“No, I don’t,” Berry declared. “Somebody to walk beside me? Yes, but I don’t need or want to be babysat. I don’t need somebody in my corner all the time,” she stated flatly. “I didn’t think you had such a poor sense of self either.”
“It’s not a poor sense of self,” Cherry cried out. “However, I think, over time, when I realized that what I was doing was knocking you down in order to build myself up, it was having more of a negative effect on me instead of you,” she murmured. “As if the more I did it, … the more I realized just how poor my own self-worth was, and every time I did that, it just made it all worse.”
“What did you expect?” Berry asked, staring at her. “It’s not a case of just being nice for the sake of being nice but being truly nice on the inside, and that niceness comes through on the outside, and then you find real friends.”
“You never did,” she pointed out. “You never had boyfriends, at least not for long.” At that, Berry glowered at her sister, until she flushed. “Fine, I might have had something to do with that.”
“Ya think? When I look back on all the relationships that I cared about that broke up, leaving me confused and heartbroken, I remember you commiserated with me over ice cream, telling me how lots of other men were out there. Now I’m left to wonder how many of those were guys you made sure I broke up with.”
“I don’t even remember who they were,” she said dismissively. “So maybe one or two of them, but not all.”
“How do I know that now?” she asked, as she stared at her. “How do I possibly know or trust anything from you now?”
“You don’t have to,” she snapped. “I can get out of your life, as soon as I get the hell out of here.”
“What do you mean, get out of my life?” she asked, trying to understand what she was saying. “We’re sisters, so it’s hardly something you can just decide to walk away from. There’s still Mom and Dad to consider.”
“What about them?” Cherry asked, turning to glare at her sister. “It’s not as if they give a shit about us anyway.”
“They do, as much as they are able to anyway. They don’t understand us. They don’t really understand why we do what we do,” she clarified, “but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there for us.”
“I don’t think they’re there for us at all,” Cherry declared. “I don’t think they’ve been there for us since the beginning. It’s one of the reasons why we’re so close.”
“And yet”—Berry glared at her sister—“so close that you … did what you did.”
Her sister glared right back. “Enough already,” she cried out. “Jesus, get over it, will you?”
At that, something inside her just shut down in disbelief. Berry slowly got up and nodded. “Not nice of you to say that, and it’ll take me longer than you want.”
And, with that, Berry turned, walked out, and slammed the door behind her, ignoring her sister’s apologetic cries. Berry didn’t know how much was the drug withdrawals compared to just the truth coming out now, but the last thing Berry needed was her sister slamming her for not being able to adapt and adjust to all the lovely shitty things that Cherry had already admitted to doing.
God only knew how much she hadn’t admitted to.
Sydney walked up to her, as Berry stood outside, trying to regain her breath. “Patience,” the doc said calmly.
Berry laughed. “Patience is not necessarily easy in this instance.”
“It’s never easy,” the doc agreed. “Just remember that, in this case, some of this attitude would be from the drugs, though not all of it. Definitely not all of it. She can’t use that as an excuse, but some of it is, and some of it will be much harder for both of you to deal with.” Sydney sighed. “Yet, as long as Cherry starts to heal, gets some professional psychiatric help, then things will improve.”
“I hear you,” Berry stated, “and I see the cheerleader in you, but I think some things are just too far gone for any healing. Plus, you need to know. At your dinner break today I caught Cherry trying to read confidential medical records on your laptop.” Sydney’s eyes widened. And, with that, Berry whispered, “Good night.” She walked at a rapid pace to her room, where she locked herself in, hoping and yet almost not wanting Egan to come.
She wouldn’t exactly be good company, not with all this mess going on in her world right now. And yet, at the same time, she probably could use a friend, so, with a sigh, she pulled out her phone. She typed and sent a message before she had a chance to change her mind. If you want to come join me, feel free.
Then she curled up in bed and waited.
*
Still upset, but at a much calmer level than he had been earlier, Egan looked down at the text for the millionth time, wondering if it was smart to go visit at this hour of the night. There was a slim chance that they would end up in bed together. They were headed there—at least he hoped so—but, given the circumstances, it was probably not smart on his part to even go there. Not when Berry was as emotionally overwrought as she was with all the revelations from her evil sister.
God, the sister. Wasn’t she a piece of work?
He still shrugged as he thought about all the mess going on in that direction, plus the fiasco about his own investigative work that supposedly the colonel didn’t know Egan had completed and had handed in already.
Of course the colonel would not apologize; there never were any apologies in these situations. The brass just didn’t do that. On the other hand, Egan knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, and, once the aide had confirmed that the material had been put on the colonel’s desk, then it was over.
Maybe the colonel had misplaced it. Maybe he’d just read it and hadn’t realized what it was. Egan didn’t know. It didn’t make any sense, but he wouldn’t lose any more sleep over it. As long as the aide confirmed it had been delivered, then it was off Egan’s plate, and that was important.
Now the colonel was pissed at the aide, and Egan didn’t relish the aide’s position at all. Everybody’s tempers were short, as people tried to figure out what the hell was going on in this place, and yet still not having any answers was just frustrating.
Without realizing it, Egan found himself walking to Berry’s room, which was isolated from all the rest. He stood outside for a moment, then knocked. When a call came from behind him, he turned to see her smiling and waving at him, coming from the nearby ladies’ room.
“I was hoping you’d come,” she said, with a genuine smile. “I was just getting ready for bed.”
He nodded. “I figured it was probably too late, but somehow I ended up here anyway.” He gave her a lopsided grin.
“I’m glad you did. It’s a horrible feeling to see how much we’re all pitted against each other here, and I really appreciate having somebody I can just talk to and be myself.”
“Always,” he said. “I’m just sorry for what you’re going through with your sister.”
“Me too. … I was sitting here, thinking about what to do about it. Yet I’m just not getting any answers.”
“You don’t need to find any answers. Remember that. Not right now. It’s all too fresh, too raw, and it hurts, the betrayals and everything,” he explained. “Forgiveness is a fine tool, but to expect it overnight? That’s not an easy thing and not at all realistic either.
