Accidentally Aphrodite, page 21
Eris’s hands went to his thick wrist, struggling against it. “She has the power of Aphrodite now!” she cried. “If I could have gotten my hands on it, I would have made you—”
“Oh, I know!” Quinn jumped up and down, her arm in the air, everything making complete sense in a rush of understanding. “You wanted my power so you could make Zeus fall wildly in love with you and steal him from Hera! Am I right?”
“Yes!” she wailed a sob, her head falling back on her neck. “She doesn’t deserve you! I do! Don’t you remember all the things you told me that night on the Aegean, Zeus? Do you remember the sailboat and our lovemaking? You told me you loved me!” She let out a sob. “I’ve waited lifetimes for Khristos to become distracted enough to get my hands on that ludicrous apple. Lifetimes!”
Zeus clucked his tongue at her in admonishment. “Tsk-tsk, Eris. You know Hera’s my one true love. I made that clear from the start. And now look what you’ve done. You’ve made a mess of everything.”
She clawed at his wide hand, tears streaming down her face. “Let me go!”
Zeus made a sad face at her, puckering his lips. “I can’t do that, Eris. We don’t subscribe to the old ways any longer, and you know that quite well. You can’t go around creating this kind of havoc anymore. Remember what I told you the last time you took it upon yourself to react out of spite when your candidate didn’t win and you almost wiped out the White House with Talos? And what will Ares say when he sees you’ve stolen his horses—again? Unacceptable, Eris. You must be punished. Our new Aphrodite is to be celebrated, not nailed to a wall like some cheap art.”
Carl stirred on Nina’s shoulder then, slipping to the ground and landing on his feet, currently pointing outward to either side of his legs, his left hand completely torn off.
“You’d damn well better make her pay, Zeus, or I swear on all that’s fucking holy, I’ll hunt you and her down, and drop you both from the top of that damned mountain,” Nina growled, cracking her neck by rolling her head side-to-side.
Zeus dropped a jovial kiss on her cheek, clearly not at all fazed by her threats. “As pleasant as ever, Nina! I assure you, punishment will be meted out appropriately. Let’s do a Save The Date for another round of Vampires vs. Gods, yes? I’ve had some time to think up our line of defense.”
Nina huffed at him, pulling Carl close to her and hissing up at Eris.
Khristos moved in closer to the dangling Eris and looked up at her, his face a mask of rage., an emotion that almost startled Quinn. “Let me make myself perfectly clear. If you ever, and I do mean ever, come near my woman again, I’ll hunt you down, Eris. I’ll hunt you down, I’ll flay you alive. I’ll kill you myself.” And then he smiled, his expression light and easy as he held out his hand to Zeus. “Thank you for showing up. Sorry to bust up your golf game.”
Zeus used his free hand to shake Khristos’s, his smile warm. “Got here as soon as I could, but you know how hard it is to get a signal on the mountain. Sorry it took so long. I’ll have Ares come collect the horses. The rest you can handle, yes?”
Khristos scrubbed a weary hand over his face, blood still drying on his forehead. “I can.”
The god held Eris up for inspection, letting her dangle from his grip as her long hair streamed down her back. “Say goodbye to all the nice people, Eris. Quinn, it was great to finally meet you. See you around the forums, huh?” With a wink and a smile that would make women all over the planet melt, he and Eris disappeared.
Marty and Wanda shook their heads in unison, glanced at each other and squealed. “Was he not the most divine, Wanda?” she gushed.
Wanda grinned, half of her hair falling from the perfect chignon she favored, her red wool dress torn and covered in soot. “Not a lie! Did you see him just make everything stop? Like just done. Totally over. And the way he kissed Quinn’s fingers to heal them? Sa-woon!”
Their giggles warmed Quinn’s heart, and when their eyes landed on her, they held out their arms and she gave them each a tight hug. “Ingrid told me about you guys in action, and I thought I believed, but after seeing that, there’s not a shred of doubt. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“Jesus,” Marty breathed into Quinn’s hair. “You pulled yourself off that wall, Quinn. To see you nailed there…” She stopped herself and audibly gulped.
Wanda pressed a kiss to Quinn’s forehead, her breath shuddering in and out. “Thank God you’re all right,” she whispered before setting Quinn away from her. “Now let’s get this mess cleaned up, ladies!”
Ingrid, Archibald and Darnell plowed into the coliseum—which was slowly returning to her tiny bedroom—their eyes wide. Ingrid stumbled over the littered floor and lunged for Quinn.
“Don’t let me hear you ever call yourself a chicken again, Quinn Morris. And don’t ever scare the shit out of me like that again. I’d never survive the rest of art history without you. I’m so glad you’re all right.”
Quinn took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right; you’d never survive without me in art history.”
Ingrid giggled as Darnell wrapped his arms around both of them and hugged. “Daggone, Miss, Quinn. You tougher ’n I’ll ever be. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for ya. I don’t know what that crazy lady did, but she sealed the whole dang place after Marty and Wanda got through. Not even my magic could get me in here.”
Thank God. Thank God Marty and Wanda had made it through.
Archibald stuck his head between them all and grazed Quinn’s cheek with his knuckles. “I’m going to prepare the best chocolate cake you’ve ever eaten in honor of such a fierce warrior! But for now, we must make haste, family! Darnell, you get the shovel. Ingrid, locate a broom, would you?”
As they broke apart, each heading off to begin cleaning up, Quinn bent at the waist and breathed. The horror of those spikes in her hands hitting her once again.
But Nina patted her on the back, wrapping an arm around her neck and pulling her upward, dropping her chin to the top of Quinn’s head. “Jesus fuck and a sidecar, Mini-Goddess. You’re a GD badass, and you tried to save my boy Carl. Can’t ever say thank you enough.”
Quinn inhaled the scent of Nina, full of cinnamon and cloves, and rested her cheek on the vampire’s shoulder, tears stinging her eyes. “Do you feel all gooey on the inside right now, Nina?” she teased, her voice gruff, her throat tight.
“Like a goddamn toasted marshmallow, Love Maker,” she replied, hoarse and low.
Quinn squeezed her arm and pulled back, her eyes catching sight of Carl’s missing hand. “Carl! Your hand, buddy!”
But Carl was busy picking through the rubble with Khristos, using his one hand to dig furiously through her shredded pillows and crumbled rock, grunting until he found whatever he was looking for.
He pulled something tattered from the remains of the mess and held it up, giving her his endearing lopsided grin.
She fell to her knees in front of him with a sob, right there in the middle of the mess, and hugged him hard.
It was a book. He’d tried to take out the cyclops with a copy of Jane Eyre.
“Carl,” she whispered against his cold cheek. “Thank you. You were so brave.”
He thumped Quinn on the back once more as Nina helped him up, giving Khristos’s shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks for looking out for my Carl and Goddess-Lite, dude. You might not have any supernatural powers, but that was some damn tackle.” She looked to Carl then, her eyes soft. “Now, c’mon, buddy, looks like we got some duct-taping to do.” Leading Carl off, she left Quinn and Khristos alone.
Her chest throbbed, her heart pounded. As Eris had spiked her hands to the wall, one painful hammer to the metal at a time, Quinn had only one thought during those torturous moments.
She’d never see Khristos again. She’d never hear his voice, never laugh with him, never see his smile. Never get back the chance to say to him what she’d really been afraid of when she’d sent him away.
And it had been more unbearable than death.
Grabbing his hand, she looked up at him, cupping his jaw and running her thumb over the sharp, stubbled plane. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I sent you away. I’m sorry…” she sobbed.
He pulled her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to her palm. “I don’t care if we end up being nothing alike, Quinn Morris. I don’t care if you like to read poetry and I’d rather let a semi run me over twice. I don’t care if you think this all happened too fast. I don’t care if you still aren’t convinced that anything deep can happen in so little time. I don’t even care that you like those stupid pillows on your bed that are, by the way, of absolutely no use to anyone if you can’t put your head on them. And I don’t care if you don’t want to hear me object to them. That’s just who I am. But that’s who you are, too, and I want to wholeheartedly object to the idea that because we only just met, we can’t feel this connected. When I saw you nailed to that damn wall…” He paused, his eyes grim, his tone gruff.
His lips thinned and he clenched his jaw before he continued. “When I saw you, I knew none of it mattered. None of it. Know why it doesn’t matter? Because I saw my life flash right there in front of my damn eyes. And I’ve had some lifetimes. It’s a lotta life. I want to try this thing with you, Quinn, and in all my years, I’ve never said that to any other woman. I’m not the wrong damn life choice. I’m the right one. So just damn well say yes.”
Her throat constricted and her eyes filled with tears before she stood on tiptoe and brought her lips just inches from his. “Yes,” she whispered before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him for all she was worth.
He pulled her tight, molding her body to his, as she melted into him, sealing the deal.
And then everyone standing at the crumbled bedroom doorway holding their collective breaths, and those who had no breath to hold at all, cheered.
Epilogue
Six Months and Ten Days Later—Ten Utterly Implausible Paranormal Accidents And Counting, A Brand-Spanking New Aphrodite, One Relieved, Living-In-Boca-In-A-Cute-Condo Ex-Aphrodite, One GG/Goat Herder Pleased As All Hell With Her Deceptive Yet Very Successful Tour Bus Stunt, Three New Amazing Friends Who Lunched And Shopped (some more reluctantly than others) With Their New Goddess Friend On A Bi-Weekly Basis And Possessed More Fangs And Fur Than A CW Show, One Still-Somehow-In-All-The-Chaos Human Study Buddy On Her Way To Being A Vet-Tech The Likes Of Which The World Has Never Seen, One Manservant Grandfather Who Remains The Best Gods vs. Vampires Chicken-Wing Maker Bar None, The Sweetest Teddy Bear Of A Demon Doubling As A Defensive Linebacker Ever, And A Vegetarian Zombie With A Joyfully Discovered, Surprising Love Of Classic Literature all gathered together on a beautiful, cloudless spring day to celebrate a surprise under the guise of a game-day feast…
Quinn hugged Marty and Wanda and gave Nina a quick punch on the shoulder—just to show she cared.
Nina flicked the end of Quinn’s braid and smiled. “Ya look good, Aphrodite-Lite. It’s a good day to kick your people’s asses, right?”
Quinn threw her arms around Nina’s neck and squeezed hard—to which Nina responded by untangling herself with a scowl. “You and the huggy-kissy shit. You act like we haven’t seen each other in a hundred years. I just saw you last week, for shit’s sake. Remember, when we fucking trudged through that stupid outdoor mall and made like girls?”
Quinn laughed. “I do. You bought me an ice cream. It was delicious, Marshmallow, remember?”
Nina scowled, fighting a grin. “That was just to shut you the fuck up, so I wouldn’t have to hear you go on and on about Hot Dude. One more, ‘OMG, he’s so sensitive to my deepest girlie feelings’ gush, and it was either yank your tongue out of your flippin’ head or feed you. I chose feed, because if I don’t, these two flappy-lipped whiners get upset with me.”
Marty, wearing a football jersey and a cute pair of leggings, rolled her eyes and gave Quinn another tight hug. “We were so excited when Khristos called and invited us to game day! And you look so pretty, too. Just perfect for—”
“For an afternoon in Greece!” Wanda interjected, shooting Marty a look Quinn didn’t quite understand. “Really, love that dress. It suits your figure.”
Nina nodded, her grin wicked. “Yeah. That Barbie dress hides the fact that your cans deflated. Do you miss your boobs, McGee?”
She giggled, sticking her tongue out at Nina. “Not even a little.”
Her cans had gone back to their rightful size, followed by her eyes and skin returning to normal, At first she’d been dismayed and she’d worried about Khristos’s reaction when he saw her breasts in their original state.
But he’d reminded her, he didn’t love her for her body parts. He just loved her.
Khristos’s mother waved at Quinn from her lounge chair, set on the steps of the Parthenon. She’d begun to spend more and more time with the woman they lovingly referred to as ex-Aphrodite, when she wasn’t off at her hot yoga classes or Garden Club meetings, learning helpful tips from her on matchmaking and hearing all the stories about Khristos’s youth.
Quinn had a healthy respect for Khristos’s mother, and truly enjoyed their binge watches of Sons of Anarchy—whom ex-Aphrodite declared she’d have done some damage to back in her youth.
Ingrid and Carl strolled toward her, Carl with his ever-present book in hand. He held it up for her to see. “Oh, Carl,” she cooed, folding her hands together and placing them on her heart. “Romeo and Juliet so soon in the game? Are you sure you’re ready for all that heartbreak?” She gave him a warm hug, careful not to squeeze him too hard and break off another body part.
He patted her back in return when she bracketed his face with her hands and smiled up at him. Carl was one of the greatest new joys in her life. Nina occasionally dropped both Carl and little Charlie at her apartment on she and Greg’s date nights, and they all sat on the floor together reading.
Carl was constantly curious, and often made trips to the library with her to discover new books under the cover of a hoodie and some strategic planning on her part.
That Nina and Marty trusted her with their children was the ultimate compliment. It meant she really was a part of this crazy family, pieced together by accident.
Ingrid, dressed in leather, her eyes rimmed in charcoal, did a little dance. She clenched her hands together at her chest and swooned comically “Look at me, gettin’ my Greece on. Now give me your hand, Quinn Morris. We’re going to have one of those moments you’ve dreamt about since I’ve known you. The one you planned on so long ago, but instead got some big ol’ boobies and a new job. Right here in the middle of the Parthenon.”
Quinn’s laughter echoed in the open space as she remembered all the dreams of her trip to Greece she’d shared with Ingrid before her breakup with Igor, giving her hand to her friend and squeezing it.
Rocking back and forth, Ingrid let out a dreamy sigh as she perused the shimmering white landscape, bumping shoulders with Quinn. “Isn’t it romantic here in the Parthenon now that you’re in love and happy, Quinn? Isn’t it just like you’ve always dreamed? A perfect day for a pro—”
“Batch of Arch’s chicken wings and artichoke dip,” Khristos said from behind her, gripping Quinn’s shoulders.
Ingrid’s eyes flashed something odd at Khristos before they went warm. She lunged for him, giving him a hard hug. “You bet! It’s the best day ever for some chicken wings and artichoke dip. In fact, I think I’m going to go stuff my face with some right now and see if I can find some hot god’s abs to play like an xylophone.” She blew them a kiss and ran off into the bright sun to join the others invited to this impromptu party Khristos had cooked up.
Marty, Nina, and Wanda followed suit, throwing themselves into their various roles of the day, and Quinn sighed, feeling content—included.
She turned to Khristos, slipping her arms up under his and letting her head rest on his chest, her favorite place in the world these days. “I wish my mother could have been here. Though it would really take some explaining, huh?”
His laughter rumbled against her ear, making her shiver with pleasure. “I gave Zeus strict orders there’d be no cows for him today.”
Quinn grinned. Maude had surprised her mother with a trip to a bird sanctuary in Africa for their three-month anniversary and they’d waved the newly minted couple off just two days ago.
She and her mother talked often now. No less than twice a week, and they made a point of seeing each other, with Maude and Khristos included, at least once a month for family dinner night.
They’d been working hard to mend old wounds, talking things out and laughing more than Quinn could ever remember them doing her entire life.
Helen and Maude had moved in together, and Maude’s influence on her mother, her calming, gentle effect, had done wonders for Helen’s relationship with Quinn.
Plus, Maude made the most amazing sugar cookies this side of the universe. Most importantly, her mother was happy—blissfully so, and she was working toward accepting herself and letting go of all the anger she’d allowed to fester for so many years.
And it was a beautiful thing to watch her mother’s relationship grow, flourish.
It was also pretty awesome to watch her romance with Khristos deepen.
Khristos had wooed Quinn, dated her one day at a time, showed her what falling in love with the right man was like, one who was true to himself, one who wouldn’t let her turn him into something he was never going to pretend to be.
He sat with her while she read her beloved copy of Keats and he read posts on Facebook. She sat with him while he played video games and she planned the garden of English tea roses she hoped to one day grow.
He rolled his eyes while she shopped for more decorative pillows he saw as pointless if you couldn’t lay on them, and she rolled her eyes back when he suggested they eat dinner on the bed.
He refused to eat frilly girl food like brie cheese on wafer-thin crackers, so she’d made him a cracker-and-cheese sandwich on a hoagie roll.
