The End of Me, page 1
part #1 of The Downfall of Us #2 Series
Contents
Also By Claudia Burgoa
IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
About Claudia Burgoa
Also By Claudia Burgoa
Also By Claudia Burgoa
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THE END OF ME is also available in Audio
The Baker’s Creek Billionaire Brothers Series
* * *
Loved You Once
A Moment Like You
Defying Our Forever
Call You Mine
As We Are
Yours to Keep
Paradise Bay Billionaire Brothers
* * *
My Favorite Night
Faking The Game
Can’t Help Love
Along Came You
My Favorite Mistake
The Way of Us
Meant For Me
Finally Found You
Where We Belong
* * *
Heartwood Lake Secret Billionaires
A Place Like You
Dirty Secret Love
Love Unlike Ours
Through It All
Fade into us
Better than revenge
Breathe Me Life
Hard to love
* * *
Against All Odds: The St. James Family
* * *
Wrong Text, Right Love
Didn’t Expect You
Love Like Her
Until Next Time, Love
Something Like Love
Betting on Love
Accidentally in Love
Waiting for Love
* * *
Decker Family Novels
* * *
Unexpected Everlasting:
Suddenly Broken
Suddenly Us
* * *
Somehow Everlasting:
Almost Strangers
Strangers in Love
* * *
Perfect Everlasting:
Who We Are
Who We Love
* * *
Us After You
* * *
Covert Affair Duet:
After The Vows
Love After Us
* * *
The Downfall of Us:
The End of Me
When Forever Finds Us
* * *
Impossibly Possible Duet
The Lies About Forever
The Truth About Us
* * *
Second Chance Sinners Duet
Pieces of Us
Somehow Finding Us
* * *
The Spearman Brothers
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Maybe Later
Then He Happened
Once Upon a Holiday
Almost Perfect
* * *
Luna Harbor
* * *
Finally You
Perfectly You
Always You
Truly You
* * *
My One
My One Regret
My One Desire
* * *
The Everhart Brothers
* * *
Fall for Me
Fight for Me
Perfect for Me
Forever with Me
* * *
Mile High Billionaires
Finding My Reason
Something Like Hate
Someday, Somehow
Standalones
* * *
Chasing Fireflies
Until I Fall
* * *
Chaotic Love Duet
Begin with You
Back to You
* * *
Co-writing
Holiday with You
Home with You
Here with You
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Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, business establishments, events, locales or any events or occurrences, is purely coincidental.
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www.claudiayburgoa.com
Copyright © 2022 by Claudia Burgoa
Cover by: Hang Le
Special Edition Cover by: Amanda Spepard
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Edited by: Sisters Get Lit.erary Author Services, Brandi Zelenka, Chrisandra Johnston, Judy Zweifel, Tiffany Hernandez, Virginia T. Carey
Dear Reader,
I write highly emotional romances that include thought provoking subjects. If you would like to see a list of them, please check the link below with more information.
This book has a cliffhanger, it’s necessary to read When forever finds us to fulfill the most anticipated HEA.
TW Website
* * *
Happy Reading,
Claudia
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Prologue
Finnegan
My name is Finnegan Gil, and I should be dead.
Before you continue, be warned. This isn’t a love story. It’s the beginning of a tragedy, the end of what could’ve been a happily ever after, and the end of me.
Who am I?
Some people think I’m a ghost.
Many fear me.
I’m a shadow.
A man who moves in an underground world not many know about. People would be trembling if they knew it existed.
Some would condemn me to life in hell if they knew what I’ve done. And there are two people who think I have a soul, but I don’t. They should leave me.
I don’t deserve a future.
I can’t seem to remember my past.
And I live a fucked-up present.
Chapter One
Piper
March 3rd
Anxiety is a form of pain.
Pain no one sees but paralyzes many of us.
There are books, apps, and exercises claiming to help control the worst enemy of our minds, anxiety.
So far, I’ve tried everything to calm the fuck down, but it’s impossible. Archer, my partner in crime, best friend, and soulmate, has been gone for two months.
He’s been off the grid for two long, painful months.
No one knows if he’s okay—not even his boss—and that’s how it’ll remain for another four month s. He’s on a special mission with my cousin. It’s not their first rodeo, and they’re capable.
I should be calm and trust Archer. After all, this is what he does best. It’s a big part of his life. The logical side of my brain understands but being away from him for so long is becoming unbearable.
Trying to live without him by my side is wearing me down. It sounds ridiculous and somehow codependent. It’s not.
Archer St. James and I have been together since he was four and I was three. First, as friends. As teenagers, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We were engaged by the age of eighteen and secretly married when he turned twenty-one.
My hand immediately touches the platinum chain hanging on my neck. It holds our wedding rings. I carry both close to my heart until we’re ready to marry in front of everyone. Only two people witnessed the ceremony, but they were so drunk they don’t remember anything.
The point is that Archer has been my constant for so long that this separation is more strenuous than either of us could’ve predicted. I should try therapy or some new coping mechanism to deal with his absence.
“Pull yourself together, Piper!”
Instead of following my orders, I sneak back into my unmade bed and bury myself under the covers. The scent of his cologne is fading again. I might have to change the sheets and spray a little more so I can pretend he’s hugging me.
“Stop being so extra.” I shake my head at my ridiculousness.
I should be okay with his absence. He’s worked for The Organization since he was sixteen. Within the past seven years, nothing has happened to him. But not long ago, my oldest brother, Tucker, was hurt. For a couple of days, we didn’t know if he would live or die.
Is it possible to hate The Organization as much as I love the work they do?
The high intelligence agency Uncle Mason set up so many years ago saves lives and helps the world. However, sometimes during missions, some men come back injured or, worse, dead.
I can’t stop asking myself: What if something happens to my man?
Archer should quit, but I can’t ask him to. He loves being an agent, saving lives, and making this world a better place.
However, the uncertainty of not knowing if he’s safe is slowly killing me.
I can barely sleep, and when I do, I have nightmares.
Night terrors where I see him, lost in the jungle, wounded and desperate to come home. Yet, he always promises that he’ll come and find me. That he will never leave me.
I touch my stomach. My entrails have been tied into knots since last week when the dreams began.
Last night was the worst. His voice was so clear when he said, “Don’t ever let go of me, baby. I’ll find you soon.”
It’s senseless to be obsessed with those dreams, but this mission is different. Arch and my cousin Seth are isolated. They can’t contact The Organization until the operation is over. If only I knew they were okay.
Push through these crazy thoughts, Piper. He’s going to be okay.
“He will,” I say out loud, finally pushing the blankets away from me.
Turning to my side of the bed, I pick up the frame I have on my nightstand. It’s a picture of the two of us when we moved into this penthouse—the beginning of our life together. I kiss it, place it back where it belongs and convince myself that it’s time to start my day.
After breakfast, I take a shower, do some yoga, and work for a while. Nothing I do calms me. It’s time for my last resort: to write in our mutual journal.
Bleeding words on the pages makes me feel slightly better. Every sentence carries the anguish I’m living with. It’s around noon when I get a call from the doorman. My family is on their way up to visit me.
It’s probably Mom and one of my fathers coming to check on me after our weekly video call. They weren’t thrilled to hear that I was a little anxious. I hate to be a burden to them, but I’m glad they’re here. Mom might give me some exercises to help with the anxiety that’s keeping me awake all night.
When the elevator doors open to the foyer of our penthouse, I smile. Seth is here. I sigh with relief, knowing Archer is about to rush toward me, lift me up, and twirl me around.
But there’s only silence. The sigh of relief changes almost immediately when I look at Seth’s fallen face. Archer isn’t here.
A pang strikes my middle, my heart throbbing forcefully and desperately.
“No, no, no,” I say, shaking my head violently.
“No!” My voice echoes throughout the house.
“Please, no,” I beg. “Tell me he’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Uncle Mason says somberly.
“I don’t know,” Seth corrects. He clears his throat. “We can’t confirm anything just yet.”
His response makes sense, and so do my dreams. Archer is alive, he’s just missing. “He’s lost, isn’t he?” I whisper.
“I think so.” Seth nods.
“We’re not sure,” Uncle Mason corrects him, taking a step forward. “He could be—”
“Don’t say the word until you can confirm it,” Mom warns her brother.
“Our people are still combing the area. We were there for days and couldn’t find him,” Uncle Mason rectifies.
I glance at Seth. “What happened?”
Seth pinches the bridge of his nose. “We were caught. I don’t know how or what gave us away, but since we didn’t have anyone from The Organization to help us escape…” He closes his eyes briefly. “One of us had to stay back to detonate a bomb and—I’m sorry, Pipe.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Uncle Mason places a hand on his shoulder.
“I shouldn’t have let him stay. That should’ve been me, not him.” The frustration and anger in Seth’s voice squeeze my heart.
He’s in pain, and though I’d love to hug him and tell him everything will be okay, I can’t. My body is frozen in place. My heart knew something wasn’t right. I just didn’t know what it was until now.
I swallow hard. I have to learn more about what happened.
“You’re telling me he stayed behind?” I confirm, my lower lip quivering uncontrollably. I pinch my wrist, trying to control my emotions. I can’t fall apart.
Archer needs me to stay in control. We have to find a way to help him. Well, not exactly me. There’s not much I can do, but Seth and Uncle Mason have the resources.
“Why are you here and not there, looking for him?” My voice loses its strength.
