Crank: The Devil's Highwaymen Nomads #1, page 9
“You sweet on her or did she steal from you?”
“Jesus, what’s with all the questions!?” I asked, feeling ridiculous under his scrutiny.
Bull laughed. “If she stole from you then I don’t want you fucking up some bitch and getting yourself arrested. We can deal with that as a club. If you’re sweet on her, then I can probably help you.”
I dragged a hand across my beard again, not sure what to say. I didn’t want to admit anything to him that I hadn’t fully admitted to myself, but it might be the only way I would find her. I bit the bullet and scowled.
“She didn’t steal from me,” I finally relented, giving away my motive with those five words, and Bull grinned. “Fuck off,” I said, shaking my head. “Look, she’s real pretty and shit.” I shrugged. “Goes by the name of Hope.”
Bull smiled wider. “Ain’t seen no hope around here, but I’ll put out the word for you. Going sweet on a clubslut ain’t the best idea, kid. Just sayin’.”
“She’s not a clubslut, Prez!”
“All right, all right, keep your dick in your pants. I’ll ask around.” His gaze went over my shoulder and I turned to look. Hammer was walking back inside, his arm still hooked around the crazy bitch’s waist. “That bitch is crazy as all hell,” Bull muttered.
“Don’t I fuckin’ know it,” I replied.
Bull’s gaze connected with mine and he frowned at me. “The fuck you know about her?” he asked, his frown turning into a full-on scowl.
“The fuck it matter to you?” I retorted.
He looked around us and grabbed me by the T-shirt before dragging me back into his office.
He slammed the door closed behind him and moved to the curtains, drawing them closed. When he turned back to me he looked furious.
“What?” I asked, feeling fucking angry now too. “She’s just a clubslut, what’s the big deal?”
“You stupid fucker,” Bull said with a shake of his head. “You stupid motherfucker, what have you done?”
My palms were sweating, Bull’s unnecessary anger making me nervous. He had that unstable look in his eye that I’d seen that morning when he’d put Click to ground.
“You know who that is, right?” Bull said, and when I shook my head at him he let out an angry sigh. “That’s Hammer’s old lady, Maria. Bitch is crazy as hell. Can’t fucking stand her myself—bitch is constantly putting her claws into any man she can and Hammer can’t seem to see past her bullshit. If you’ve fucked her, Dillon, then you’ve just put a death sentence on your own head, kid.”
I laughed, thinking that maybe he was joking, but the serious expression on his face had my laugh dying on my lips.
“Are you being serious, Bull?”
“As serious as a fuckin’ nun in confession.”
I sat back down in my chair and recounted the story from the previous night, leaving out the soppy shit.
Bull poured us both another drink and sat back down in his own chair. “You need to stay the fuck away from her, kid. Keep your dick in your pants and away from Maria. Once we can cover up, but—”
“Twice,” I interjected.
“Twice?” he repeated, his eyes wide.
“Yeah,” I said, dragging a hand down my face, “right before coming in here to talk to you, I fucked her again.”
“Fucking hell, Dillon. This is a huge fucking fuckup, even for a prospect.”
I shrugged and closed my eyes. I had a headache coming on and needed to eat, and goddamn it I needed to keep my dick in my pants for a long while after this.
“Stay away from her. Under normal circumstances I’d have no choice but to tell Hammer, but where this bitch is concerned it’s best he don’t know. Not ever. You hear me?”
I nodded. “I hear you.”
“Good. Now keep it in your pants and don’t speak of this to anyone. Don’t fucking like doing this to Hammer, but he loves her, no matter what she does, and until he sees past her shit there ain’t nothing I can do about it.”
“Prez?”
“What?” he snapped, looking at me with a shake of his head.
“I’m sorry.”
He looked at me for a long minute, and I had no idea what he was thinking, but when he spoke again he didn’t look angry anymore.
“I know you are. Now go get some sleep. The fight is tomorrow, and you better win me some money.”
I nodded and stood up, heading towards the door. I turned back as I reached it. “Prez?”
“What now? you gonna tell me you fucked Hammer’s momma too?”
I smirked and shook my head. “No.”
“Good, cus that bitch is twice as crazy as Maria.”
“Thanks,” I said before turning to leave.
~ 13 ~
The room was dimly-lit and crowded as hell; people were shoulder to shoulder around the ring. I watched from the back of the room, seeing clubs of all colors talking and laughing, money being exchanged back and forth. It was the same thing I’d seen hundreds of times previously, only this time it was on a larger scale. Wasn’t too worried though. Fighting was fighting, and it was the one thing I did well, with no mistakes.
Bull was standing with half a dozen of my brothers, and he moved to shake Hardy’s hand as he threaded through the crowd. They exchanged some words and then Hardy shook Bull’s hand as they both looked my way.
Wasn’t entirely sure who I was fighting yet, but I’d been told it was a biker that was with a man called the Reverend. Not quite a biker club, but as good as. Dangerous, from what I could tell.
Their men stood on the opposite side of the room, their hard stares watching the Highwaymen like they were something they wanted to trample on. Didn’t like that one bit, and it made me more determined to teach this sorry motherfucker that got in the ring today a lesson.
After an hour or so, another man climbed into the ring with a microphone and announced my fight. I’d been waiting too long and my muscles were tense and sore from twitching, ready to draw some blood.
“We’ve got something special for you tonight, boys. A fighter all the way from Rapid City, fighting for the Highwaymen Las Vegas chapter…”
The rest of his words died off as I found Bull in the crowd and stared at him. I hadn’t told anyone where I was from, yet they had known. Bull nodded at me, his face expressionless. I wasn’t sure what that meant for me. Did he know what I’d done? And if so, did he care? He said family was everything to him—well if he knew where I had come from, then he must have known what I had done to mine.
The crowd of men were cheering and yelling as I made my way to the ring, pushed along by Wolf and Stone.
“You got this, brother,” Wolf yelled behind me.
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from Bull as I entered the ring and Wolf started to grease up my face and chest.
The ringmaster was introducing the other fighter, a man named Bench, and the crowd went crazy. Bench was a reigning champion and people had bet a lot of money on him by the sounds of it.
A shadow fell over me as we stood toe to toe and I finally tore my gaze from Bull to look at Bench. Almost wished I hadn’t. He was a big fucker. Arms as big as tree trunks, and muscles bigger than my head.
His stare was cold and empty, like I was nothing important and he didn’t have time for me or the fight. He briefly looked back over his shoulder at the Reverend seconds before the bell went.
I didn’t have time to react as he swung round with a heavy fist, smashing it into the side of my face and drawing blood immediately. I swayed on my feet, staggering a couple of steps as Hope’s face meshed with my mother’s in front of my eyes. Fuck, what was happening to me?
Another fist hit me on the other side of the face, and I felt a tooth come loose behind my tooth guard, blood filling my mouth. I was seeing two of everything and everyone, the roar of the crowd muffled in my ears. Only one sound prevailed amongst them all: my mother’s screams.
I shook my head and tried to lift my arms to guard my head as another fist flew toward my head, but I was too late and I was sent flying backwards, the force of the punch lifting me off my feet and sending me sprawling against the mat.
I blinked to clear my eyes, but all I saw was my mother’s house on fire and her screams from within. She was at the window, staring out at me, her eyes wide and terrified as the flames licked up the curtains. She screamed my name, begging me to help her as I turned and walked away…
I blinked and she was gone, and instead I saw the mat and the blur of people beyond it. The ground smelled like old sweat and blood and I dragged myself up to my knees, gripping the ropes on the side of the ring as the ringmaster counted me out. The room spun around me, the sound coming in and out, a loud ringing in my ears.
“Four…”
“I’m up, I’m up,” I mumbled beneath my guard, the world still blurry and fucked up. Bull’s face was suddenly there in front of me, his hands wrapped around mine as I clutched the rope.
“Stay down, kid,” he said. “Stay the fuck down or he’s gonna kill you.”
I tried to focus on his face. “The money,” I slurred.
“It’s just money.”
“Five…”
“It was too soon for this, so this shit is on me not you.”
“No, I can do this.” I shook my head and started to drag myself up to standing.
“Stay the fuck down!” he bellowed.
“Six…”
“I’ve got this,” I said on a slur.
I felt blood trailing out of my nose as I came back up to standing. I was still swaying on my feet, and everything was still muffled and blurry, but I wasn’t staying down. That wasn’t how I fought, or lost.
Winning. That was how I got shit done.
I fought, I won, and I made the money needed to help my family.
That was how it had always been.
Until it wasn’t.
The ringmaster stood in front of me, holding my fists. “You good?”
I nodded yeah and he looked sympathetic.
“Your funeral,” he replied with a shake of his head and stepped back.
Bench came straight for me, not giving me a second to get my bearings, but I ducked his first punch, managing to get in a dig to his ribs as he stumbled past me. It wasn’t enough to do any real damage, but at least I’d gotten a shot in.
The bell went as Bench turned back around to face me. “You’re dead,” he said as he walked back to his corner.
I stumbled to mine, blood choking and blinding me at the same time, and Wolf dragged my mouth guard out so I could spit out the blood that was filling it, along with that tooth I had lost.
“You’re getting the shit beat out of you out there,” Patch said.
“Bull wants us to throw in the towel,” Wolf replied as he mopped my face.
“Don’t you dare!” I barked out, and both men stopped still and stared at me. I glanced over at Bench, who looked so much like my stepdad. “He’s mine this round.” I spat out another mouthful of blood as Wolf and Patch exchanged a look. “I’m serious, I’ve got this handled.”
I looked across at Bench with hate in my eyes; the man barely had a sweat on despite the fact that he’d almost broken me. His expression was cold and stone-faced and I knew I had to do this even if it killed me.
“Mouth guard, now!” I ordered.
“No,” Bull argued from behind me.
I turned and looked at him with a sneer. “You knew what would happen here today, Prez. You know who I am, what I can do. and you know I won’t take the coward’s way out.”
Bull climbed into the ring. “Get out of here,” he yelled to Wolf and Patch, and they both immediately obliged. He crouched in front of me. “That’s where you’re wrong, kid. Yeah, I know who you are, what you did, and yeah it’s fucked up. But I put you in this ring because I believed in you.” He shook his head and looked away. “He’s going to kill you. I should have gotten you some warmup fights first or something.”
“Prez, I’m good. I’ve been in worse shit than this…trust me. Do not end this fuckin’ fight!”
I watched the hesitancy on his face and when the bell went, before he could say anything I stood up and pushed past him. Mouthguard or not, I was doing this.
Bench and I both charged forward. My hearing was still whack, but my vision had righted itself and my mouth had stopped bleeding. I smiled at Bench, bloody teeth and all, and he cocked his head like I was fucked in the head. Little did he know that I was the epitome of being fucked in the head.
He was taller than me, and as he swung at me, his body tucking down to get me in the ribs, I stepped to the side and swung at him.
Everything went into that one hit.
Everything.
The hate.
The anger.
The guilt.
The shame.
The murdering son-of-a-bitch that I was came out and poured himself and his whiskey-loving soul into that one punch, hitting Bench hard in the right temple.
Fury and blood pounded through my body, anger and desperation to belong, to live without regrets, and just this once to not let someone down.
I couldn’t save my mother.
I refused to save my stepfather.
And my baby sister was already gone before I had known what happened.
Most things in the world you could replace, or they didn’t matter. A crackhead mother. An abusive, manipulative stepfather. But a little girl who had wanted to grow up and become a ballerina was irreplaceable. And I had let it slip away.
I was an evil man and I destroyed everything I touched. And today I would destroy Bench and make Bull proud of me, or I’d fuckin’ die trying.
As Bench started to topple forward, I threw punch after punch at him, his stomach muscles turning to putty under my reign of destruction on them. And then he dropped to his knees and I followed, slamming my fists into him, my aim on his head even as his eyes rolled back. I kept on punching until the ringmaster, Bull, and Wolf pulled me away. And then Bench fell, the feel of his motionless body vibrating through the floor of the ring as he collapsed, and the crowd fell silent.
Sweat poured from me in rivers, and blood blinded my right eye as the cut Bench had created opened back up, but none of it mattered. None of it.
I turned to Bull, shrugging out of everyone’s grip. They let me go, taking a step back as my fury came off me in waves. Bull knew who I was. He had to know what I had done. Had he been fucking with me the whole time? Using me like my stepfather had?
“Did I do you proud now, Prez?” I snarled at him.
~ 14 ~
I sat in the dressing room, which wasn’t a dressing room at all, but a men’s bathroom with a “do not disturb” sign on the door and a plastic garden chair for me to sit on. It had been fifteen minutes and I still hadn’t taken my gloves off and no one had come to tell me if Bench was okay.
He’d been out cold when I’d been dragged from the ring, blood pouring from his nose and mouth and his eyes rolled all the way back.
My arms were still shaking, still needing to hit something and destroy it. My body was taut with tension, sweat and blood mingling at my feet. The voice inside my head had calmed, and my breathing had finally returned to normal, but I was waiting. Waiting for Bull. Waiting for what would happen next.
As if on cue, the door swung open and Hammer, Patch, Wolf, and Bull came in. I looked up, chin raised and eyes burning, ready for a fight. Wolf and Hammer flanked Bull, both men looking uncertain of me. I hated that look from them almost more than I hated myself. I’d felt like perhaps I did belong there after all. That perhaps it wasn’t all for nothing.
The look on their faces made me believe I was wrong. But instead of feeling sad, I just felt more angry. Bull and this club had given me hope. Not hope for redemption, because I was long past that, but hope for some meaning, and it felt like that was being snatched away from me now.
“Why didn’t you say something?” I asked, before Bull had even come to a stop in front of me. “You knew. All this time, you knew!”
“What would I say, kid?” Bull replied calmly. Too calmly for my liking.
I ran a tongue along my bloody teeth and shook my head. “I don’t know—how about ‘why’d you murder your mom and stepdad, Dillon?’ ‘Why’d you let them sell your baby sister to the highest fucking bidder?’ ‘Why didn’t you protect her?’ That suit you, Prez?”
Wolf and Patch exchanged glances and I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, that’s right. I killed my mom, and then I fuckin’ ran.”
Their expressions changed, becoming darker, and I should have been afraid but I wasn’t. I was done being afraid. Done feeling guilty and ashamed, but mostly I was done running from my past. It was time to face those demons once and for all.
“When did you find out?” I asked Bull, my voice still hard.
“’Bout two days after you joined. I do research on all my brothers.”
“How’d you find out?”
He shrugged. “That don’t matter.”
I looked down at my feet. “So now you know.”
“Yeah,” Bull replied, “now I know.”
There was a long silence; just the distant noises from ringside of people drinking and laughing, like my world hadn’t just fallen apart for the second time in my short life. I looked up, and all four men were staring at me.
“Well, I don’t know, so how ‘bout someone filling me in,” Wolf said, looking between me and Bull.
“That’s up to Dillon, not me,” Bull said, turning to look at Wolf.
“What happens next?” I asked, the tightness in my chest feeling looser and yet more toxic with every breath I took.
Bull cracked his knuckles. “We collect our winnings and go home is what happens next. Might need to get some stitches for that eye too.”
I frowned, my eyebrows pulling in. “And what about me?”
Bull sighed heavily. “What do you want me to say, kid? Like I’ve told you before, when you’re ready to save yourself, we’re here for you. It ain’t good, but you didn’t do it on purpose. Shit happens, and we make bad choices. That’s life. Life’s hard, but we have to be harder. When life knocks us on our asses, we hit right back with everything and more and we get back up.”
