As she started getting bolder, she moved to cleaning his office and then his room. She washed every piece of linen she could find and organized all the papers, so they were in neat stacks on his desk.

  Eli appeared to appreciate the help, as well as the company. On days she did laundry they would sit outside on a bench Eli placed under a large tree and he would read the bible to her as she waited for the linens to dry. She loved being outside listening to Eli’s voice read from the worn book. She didn’t understand most of what he was saying, but she started to feel the stress and worry fade from her mind.

  In the evenings they would take dinner at the hotel together before Eli would escort her to the stairs leading up to her room. He would say goodnight and watch until she disappeared on the landing.

  She attended services every Sunday, sitting in the back so she could watch her husband preach from the pulpit. She loved his strong voice. It was soothing as it boomed across the congregation. He had yet to introduce her as his wife, and Autumn couldn’t help but be disappointed. It wasn’t a secret – he just wasn’t talking about it.

  They also started to look for a place to live. None of the houses were in their price range, plus Eli didn’t want to move too far away from the church. Finally, he found a piece of land within walking distance of the town and the church. Autumn was excited about the prospect of having her own home to care for and she appreciated that Eli was making an effort for their marriage.

  Even though she saw the plans that he had laid out for the house, it worried her that he had built an extra room for her. He took such pride in pointing it out to her. That she would have her own place.

  She wondered why he had done such a thing. Her parents never slept apart from the day they married. Her momma would say she wanted to be able to reach out and make sure that Poppa was there at all times. It gave her a measure of comfort. Autumn wanted the same thing in her marriage.

  Would they never live as a true husband and wife? She wanted desperately to ask him, but she was afraid as to what he would tell her. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if he had no intention of loving her the way that she wanted to love him.

  She just didn’t want to get her heart broken. She didn’t know if she could take another heartbreak. So, she kept to herself as she slowly helped turn the church into a place of community and worship. If she kept herself busy, she wouldn’t be thinking of the possibility that she was just going to end up lonely and alone.

  Eli told himself he should stop staring at Autumn. But he couldn’t help it. She was so beautiful, and his attraction was growing stronger with every day they spent together. Even today, as she was putting the laundry up to dry, she looked radiant. The sun shone on her head, highlighting her lush red hair against her pale skin.

  She was humming a simple tune to herself, something she did often when she was lost in her chores. She had such a beautiful voice. He wondered if she would sing for the church one day. He would love to hear her voice singing a spiritual hymn. He imagined the thought of her in the church, wearing a new dress with her hair in a beautiful braid, closing her eyes and losing herself in the song.

  He groaned to himself, turning away. He shouldn’t be thinking about her like this. There was a part of him that didn’t care about consequences, and she should become his. He kept telling himself that it was his right as her husband to take what was his. She had invited him back to her hotel, so he wouldn’t have to sleep in the cold room at the back of the church. He knew in her innocence it was only so that he would have a nice sleep on an actual bed.

  There was the rational part of him that told him it wasn’t right, and they needed to wait, and then there was the part of him that just wanted to reach out and grab her in an embrace and never let her go.

  Even though they were married, they were still learning about each other. He learned the story of how her family died, but he didn’t know what made her run away from Philadelphia in the first place. He didn’t want to push her too hard, for fear that she was going to pull away from him. They were already at a good place with each other. Until he knew this, he didn’t feel it was right to be with her in an intimate way.

  The age difference between also weighed heavily on his mind. She was only 19 years old. Even though she was an adult, it was almost like she was still a child. He was 33 years old. It was as if he had lived three more lifetimes than her. He tried to overlook it; but looking into her angelic face was hard to ignore that he shouldn’t want her like he did.

  Maybe if he was more careful, he could control his feelings. Maybe if he actually took her out, instead of staring at her he could keep his attraction under control. He decided it was time to start courting his wife, and he knew just what to do.

  “Where are you taking me?” asked Autumn, as she closed her eyes and held Eli’s hand.

  “It’s a surprise,” he said to her, as he led her through the brush into a field next to a creek. He told her that he had a special place to take her. She had asked him what it was, that she didn’t like surprises. But he promised her that she would like this surprise; she just had to trust him. She nodded her head and said that she did. He was happy that she trusted him, even though they had only been together for a few weeks.

  He placed the basket on the ground and let go of Autumn’s hand. He saw that she had tried to open her eyes. “Don’t open them just yet,” he shouted, as he went to the basket and removed the blanket for them to sit on. He took it out, placing it on the ground in a large cloth rectangle. He leaned back and took out the daisies he picked for her. They were growing outside his church, and when he looked at them, he just knew that she would love them.

  When everything was prepared, he told her to open her eyes. When she did, she looked around, her eyes going wide when she saw the display before her. “You brought me on a picnic?” she said, as she stared at him.

  “Yes. I think it is time we started acting like man and wife, don’t you?” He walked over and passed the daisy bouquet into her hand. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, leaving his lips electrified. There was a humming in his body, like he was awaking from a dream. “Were you surprised?”

  “Yes!” she exclaimed as she smelled the flowers. “I haven’t been on a picnic in a long time. Sabrina and I used to have them all the time.” She went to sit down next to the basket, fanning out her dress so it encased her whole body. She took off her hat and sat it next to her skirt.

  He could hear the slight pain in her voice when she talked about her sister. She seemed to be getting better at it; slowly she was healing just like he had wanted her to.

  He was hoping that she would be willing to open up more to him, especially the more specific reason as to why she decided to be a proxy bride. He knew she needed to desperately get away from Philadelphia. He knew that because she would become silent when he tried to bring it up. He knew she had a secret, but he didn’t know what it was.

  He sat down next to her and started taking their meal from the basket.

  “This is so sweet of you,” she said, reaching for his hand. She gave it a squeeze before pulling her hand back to her lap.

  She watched as he pulled thick sandwiches, potato salad, apples and slices of pie from the basket. It was a much better picnic than the cheese and crackers she brought the first day to the church.

  Once the feast was set, he looked back over at Autumn sitting on the blanket. Her head raised, and she was leaning back on her arms. She had a smile on her face as she soaked in the sun. She was so close to him it was hard for him to not think of how easy it would be to lean over and kiss her lips. She was his wife, after all.

  Wasn’t it within his rights to kiss her?

  He dismissed those thoughts and gave her a nudge to let her know luncheon was ready. No matter what he did, he didn’t want to take advantage of her when he was just trying to build their relationship.

  “I don’t think I can move after that meal. Those sandwiches were lovely.”

  “Ham is one of my favorites,” Eli responded.

  Autumn looked at him. “I guess I’ll just have to learn how to cook one.”

  “I’d enjoy that.”

  “Once we get a kitchen that will be the first meal I prepare.”

  A cool breeze blew through and whipped strands of hair across Autumn’s face. Without thinking, Eli reached out and tucked the wayward strands behind her ear. Autumn went still before leaning into his hand. His palm cupped her cheek and he was lost for words.

  Autumn gave him a quick kiss before turning her head. His hand burned where her lips touched him.

  “I’m going to go see the creek and wash my hands while I’m down there.” He watched Autumn stand and shake her skirt out before she walked to the water’s edge.

  While he watched her walking along the creek bank, he almost didn’t hear the rustling in the bushes behind them. He looked back, ready to grab Autumn if he needed to.

  Suddenly two little boys burst through the brush towards them. Eli recognized them as Tom and Thad Price. Their little sister, Ruth, followed at their heels. Mabel Price, holding baby Sarah, brought up the rear, with their parents, Jeremiah and Esther Price following close behind. Esther Price was months along in her pregnancy, so her bump was pronounced. Jeremiah was carrying a picnic basket.

  The children ran right past Eli and headed down to the creek. Jeremiah walked over and lifted his basket towards Eli. “It looks like we had the same idea today,” he said.

  “It is a beautiful day to be outside. Come join us. Autumn is down by the creek.” The sound of giggles and splashing met his ears. A few seconds later Autumn reappeared, her skirt wet from the creek.

  “A bunch of children just appeared, and they are having so much fun in the creek. I think I stood too close to them and got myself wet,” she said, holding out her skirt.

  “It should dry soon.” Eli offered her his hand and she took it, taking her place back on the blanket. “Autumn, this is Jeremiah and Esther Price.” Autumn smiled at the family. “And this is Autumn. She came out here from Philadelphia. And those,” he said, pointing the children who were down by the creek, “are their children.”

  “I met Mr. Price at the mercantile the first day I wandered out of the hotel room. He was buying apples.”

  “I remember him mentioning that,” Esther said, spreading out a blanket before plopping down on the ground. “Autumn is a beautiful name.”

  “Thank you. My father named me for his favorite season. He said my hair was the color of the leaves as they were changing.” Esther nodded and began to pull food from the basket Jeremiah placed on the ground. “You must have your hands full with five children.”

  Esther nodded. “They certainly keep me running. But they are darling children. The boys are Tom and Thad. They are twins. The little girl following them is their sister Ruth. Mabel is holding baby Sarah. And this one,” Esther said pointing to her belly, “will hopefully be out soon so you’ll be able to meet him.”

  “Or her,” Jeremiah chided her, as he took a bite of the chicken on his plate.

  “As you think,” Esther said knowingly. She turned to Autumn. “You are Elijah’s wife, right?”

  Eli hadn’t realized that he hadn’t introduced her as his wife. He noticed a flash of pain pass through Autumn’s face when he introduced her, but it didn’t seem appropriate to say anything in front of Jeremiah and Esther. He wondered why it was so difficult for him to say she was his wife?

  “Yes,” Autumn said. Eli studied her face to see if her demeanor changed. She kept the same expression on her face. He wished he could read her thoughts. “I’ve heard so much about you from Pastor Barnes and the Watters. They still consider you family. They were lovely people.”

  “You met the Watters?” Esther asked.

  “Yes. They sponsored me and were witnesses at my proxy wedding. They speak very highly of you.” She was happy to finally have met Esther. Pastor Barnes had spoken fondly of her before she had left to come out and marry Jeremiah. She could see why he thought so highly of her; just looking at her, she could tell that Esther was a kind and generous person and she would be pleased if they became friends.

  “Oh, I miss them,” Esther said, as she laid her hand on her belly. “Though I don’t know when I can travel to visit them after the baby is born.”

  “I imagine a letter would be just as good as the real thing,” Autumn said with a smile. They chatted for a bit while the Prices ate their picnic. Autumn and Esther steered most of the conversation, then Autumn went to the creek to play with the kids. She played catch with the boys before turning her attention to the girls. Eli watched her, enjoying the faces she made. It made him wonder what she would look like carrying his child. What their children would look like. Would they take her fiery red hair and fierce green eyes? Or would they take his brown hair and charcoal grey eyes? Or would they be a mixture? Little girls with red hair and grey eyes and little boys with brown hair and green eyes.

  He broke from his daydream when Esther called the children for supper. They trudged up the hill, saddened that they had to end their play. Thomas got to the blanket first. “Mommy, I was telling Autumn about our new puppy.”

  “Thomas, remember what I told you? We aren’t getting a puppy just yet. We have to wait until the dog at the livery has another litter,” Esther told the small boy, as she ruffled the hair on his head with her fingers. Thomas frowned as he sat down next to her.

  “Aww, but I don’t want to wait!” added Thad, as he sat next to his brother.

  “Boys, that’s just how it is,” Jeremiah piped in. “Life is about patience.”

  Thomas turned to look at Eli, and he braced for the question from the boy. Thomas was a very questioning child. When they attended Sunday school, Eli was always fielding questions from Thomas about the real purpose of God.

  It was like the boy had a mission to stump Eli, so he wouldn’t be able to answer the question. Thomas was much smarter than he had let anyone know. Most people in the town thought the twins were little terrors. He didn’t think so; he just thought they needed a loving touch, and Esther certainly provided that. She was a good fit for the rambunctious youngsters.

  Finally, the boy piped up. “Pastor, if I pray hard enough, will God give me a puppy?” he asked.

  Eli laughed at the boy’s question, thankful that it wasn’t as existential as he had feared. “God doesn’t grant wishes, Thomas. But I have faith that you will have your puppy in your future. You just need to ask God for patience.”

  “See, then we are getting a puppy! The God man said it himself!” added Thad.

  Everyone laughed, at which Eli rolled his eyes. He looked towards Jeremiah and Esther and mouthed “sorry”. Esther just laughed while Jeremiah put his hand on his forehead.

  “I think I’d like a puppy too,” said Autumn while the Prices went to eating their supper. “I’ve never had one before. Would I be able to get one?” She turned toward Eli with large eyes. “I promise I will take care of him,” she added when he didn’t respond right away.

  When she looked at him, asking if she could get a puppy, Eli was at a loss for words. Looking into her innocent eyes, he could see the youth in her face. It was like she was asking her father for a pet, not her husband.

  The age difference between them became more pronounced in that moment, than when he thought about it before. He couldn’t take this girl’s innocence when she was still a child learning about the world. It made him feel bad for thinking of their children not a few moments ago. He needed to create distance between him and her and force his heart to slow down.

  It was for the best; they would just be husband and wife in name only. He would have to think of a way to make her understand it was the right choice for them… for her. He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a quick hug. These moments would be the ones he would be thinking of when he missed her touch. He kissed her forehead. “You can have whatever you want, Autumn.”

  Chapter 9

  Autumn walked from the hotel to the church, clutching her coat to her body. It was raining. One of those cold rains that chilled you to the bone. Rather fitting, she thought, because she was noticing her emotions were turning cold as well.

  As she walked, she recalled her memories from the week prior ago when Eli had surprised her with a picnic. She was so happy that he had done that for her; no one had ever done something so nice for her since her parents died. She thought the picnic would be a turning point in their relationship. She wanted for them to be an actual couple.

  He didn’t introduce her as his wife to the Prices, and she realized he never introduced her as his wife. She was simply Autumn from Philadelphia. She tried to let it not bother her; but she couldn’t stop the hurt that she felt in the depth of her soul. She really hoped he would look past everything and see her as a woman, a wife. His wife.

  But something changed after spending the afternoon with the Prices. When they walked back to the town, he seemed distant. Even more distant than he had been before. She had tried to reach for his hand, to get the same warmth that she had felt from him before. But when she did, he evaded her touch.

  He walked her directly to the hotel making an excuse that he was tired, and she needed to rest from the busy day. She stood by the entrance to the hotel, wishing that he would kiss her. Instead, she watched his back as he walked to the church. No kiss, no hug, not even a hand squeeze. It made her feel empty inside.

  She tried to think of what she had said wrong. The last interaction she had was about the puppy; he had seemed so happy about it. He had held her in his arms, something that he had never done before. She didn’t think if he was that upset, he would have done that. There must have been something else she had done. She spent that whole night analyzing and reanalyzing the night. Then she thought she was spending too much time thinking. Maybe it was just late, and he was tired. The next day would be a better day and then they could move on from whatever was bothering him.

 

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