Not the Marrying Kind, page 22
He threw his leg over Bronco’s back and headed toward the cabin. Coming west hadn’t worked out quite like he’d planned. He’d thought he could leave the lies, the back-stabbing, and the nightmares of the past far behind. It seemed as though all of it had followed him right there into the quiet beauty of Colorado.
* * * *
Kat sat with her hands folded neatly in her lap as her father drove the family home from church. He was being uncommonly quiet, she noticed, unsure whether that was a good thing or something she should worry about.
Mama wasn’t saying much either. That definitely was a cause for concern. Even Emily Sue seemed more subdued than usual, and Benjamin, who rode alongside them on one of the pinto ponies, looked grim-faced and tight-lipped.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Her father kept his eyes on the road. “We’ll talk later.”
Kat glanced toward her sister. If anyone would let something slip, it would be Emily Sue. But she just shrugged and looked away.
When they reached home, Kat’s mother drew her aside as the others went into the house. “Your father’s quite upset,” she warned. “He heard a few things this morning.”
“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s just more gossip. More lies.” Kat thought back to all the tongue-wagging that morning.
“Maybe so, but your father is tired of hearing it. He’s made a few decisions, honey. First, of course, he doesn’t want you talking to Mr. Barron for any reason.” She took Kat’s hand in hers. “He’s afraid the man might be a bad influence on you.”
Kat thought about the bundle of mending he’d given her earlier. She’d quickly passed it on to Lucille as soon as Joshua was out of sight. Thank goodness Mama knew nothing about it.
“I don’t think—”
“There’s more,” her mother continued, not giving Kat a chance to express any objections. “He spoke to Reverend Kendrick today. He’s given him your hand. You’ll wed him in September.”
“Mama, no! I won’t! I can’t!” Kat grabbed at her mother’s arms as the woman turned to walk away. “You’ve got to do something, please.”
“There’s nothing I can do, honey. Your father’s mind is made up, and he’s not going to change it. You’re going to marry Reverend Kendrick, and that’s that.” She heaved another sigh, shook her head, and walked slowly toward the house, leaving Kat standing alone.
That’s that?
If either her mother or her father thought it was as simple as that’s that, they had a lot to learn about their daughter. No way in hell would she willingly walk down that aisle. She would not meekly accept her fate simply because her father decreed it.
She saw it as war, a war for her independence. For now, she’d let her parents think they’d won this battle. Meanwhile, she’d plot her strategy.
Her father didn’t want her spending time with Joshua Barron? Kat laughed and put a bright smile on her face as she headed toward the house. She knew precisely what her first objective would be.
* * * *
Kat was up before dawn the next morning. Slipping away from the house, she threw a saddle on Sadie’s back, then mounted and rode toward the foothills.
Her place. Her refuge. Her salvation.
She sat on the smooth, sun-kissed rocks, soaking up the warmth of the June morning. Her life would soon change. It seemed only fitting that she should come there to the hills to mark this momentous occasion.
Or maybe she came there to draw courage for what she was about to do. Finally, knowing the time had come, she came down from the hill again, swung up on her horse’s broad back and headed toward the cabin across the creek.
As the horse waded through the shallow water, Kat thought again of Robb and his untimely death as she always did when she crossed this stretch of water. No point asking why it had happened. She’d never find any answer that satisfied her. So much of life was like that. So many questions, so few answers. All anyone could really do was just keep going.
Crossing the creek that morning was like crossing some line of demarcation, a point at which there could be no turning back. She knew what she must do, and when she saw Joshua standing outside the cabin, bare-chested as he washed in the rainwater from a cistern, excitement swelled within her. She brought Sadie to a halt in a nearby grove of trees and for several moments she sat quietly, content to enjoy the view. Joshua’s taut muscles rippled in the morning light. Droplets of water formed rivulets that coursed down his chest. She watched in fascination, imagining her fingers tracing those same lines. Her tongue felt swollen, her throat went dry.
Kat pressed her legs against Sadie’s flanks and rode forward.
“Morning, Joshua,” she called as she emerged from the grove into the clearing around the cabin.
If he were surprised to see her, he didn’t show it. “Morning, Kat,” he replied as he poured yet another bucket of water over his head. Like a wet dog, he shook to clear the water away. Kat giggled as water sprayed against her legs. “Sorry about that.” Joshua looked up and grinned.
“My fault,” she said. He probably didn’t hear. Her voice was barely more than a hoarse whisper.
“What brings you here so early, Kat? You finished with that mending already?” He set the bucket aside and peered around, obviously looking for his bundle of socks.
“No, not yet. I was just out riding, that’s all. I thought maybe you’d like to go riding with me. That is, unless you’ve got something else to do.” Until that moment, it had never occurred to her that maybe Joshua would turn down her invitation. She held her breath.
“Sounds right nice, Miss Kat. Give me a couple minutes to grab a shirt and shoes.”
Kat looked down at the man’s bare feet. Damn, but they were huge.
Slowly, her gaze moved up, then stopped. With her thoughts already fired up by the sight of the half-naked man, she gasped, realizing without doubt what they said about the size of a man’s foot. Oh, Lordy!
She’d never been one to faint, but she nearly swooned now.
“You all right, Kat?”
“Never been better.” She smiled, and licked her lips as Joshua headed for the cabin.
Moments later, with shirt and boots on, he came out again. Kat watched with growing admiration as he saddled, then mounted the bay. Funny, but she hardly even noticed his bad leg anymore, she realized. He favored it a bit, but it didn’t really cause him much problem. He was definitely a strong, powerful man.
“Got something on your mind, Miss Kat?” he asked as they rode side-by-side. “You’re looking thoughtful.”
She shrugged. “Just thinking about things. This and that, you know. Nothing important.”
“How’s everything at the Rocking P?”
Kat tensed, thinking back to the previous day. Sooner or later, she had to speak up, tell Joshua what was on her mind. She just had to be careful how she approached the subject. Of course, she’d never done anything like this before. How did a woman go about seducing a man?
“You know how things are going,” she said. Maybe honesty really was the best policy as she’d so often been told. “Pa’s given the beef contract to Wes Randall, and he’s still expecting me to marry Reverend Kendrick.” She looked up, unashamed of the tears that welled in her eyes. “I don’t see any way to avoid it, short of running away.”
“Running away doesn’t solve too many problems, I’ve learned.”
“No, it doesn’t. Sooner or later, the problems catch up with us.” She drew back on Sadie’s reins. “How about we stop here?” she suggested, motioning toward another leafy, sheltered grove.
“Sure, if that’s what you want to do.”
Kat smiled, grateful that Joshua seemed so willing to go along with whatever she suggested. It boded well for what lay ahead, she thought. She climbed down, leaving Sadie to graze on her own. Joshua climbed down from his horse, too. Brushing a few dead and decaying leaves from the ground, Kat sat down and leaned back, peering up through the tops of the tall pine trees toward the clear blue skies.
“You know, I’d never really given much thought to marriage until recently.” She closed her eyes, frightened yet excited by the desires surging through her veins. “Not until you brought it up.”
“Marriage? I brought it up?”
Kat opened her eyes. Joshua definitely looked as confused as he sounded.
“Well, yeah. You talked about how marriage might be a good thing for me. With the right man,” she added.
He smiled. “I remember now. Yes, I think it’s true.”
“So do I. I mean, some folks are obviously not suited for each other. Like me and Reverend Kendrick. I curse like a drunken cowboy at a Saturday night hoe-down, and with him being a godly man, you know, I don’t think he’d be inclined to tolerate such coarse speech.”
“I can see where that might be a problem. Of course, the right man would be someone who’s accustomed to hearing those sorts of words. The right man would probably use a few coarse words of his own from time to time. Would you object to that?”
“Oh, no! Not at all.”
“And the right man would appreciate your abilities, your unique abilities, I mean. A man like Kendrick wants a traditional woman, right?”
“Which isn’t me.” She laughed.
“No, not at all. You wouldn’t be happy shut up in that little parsonage in town. You need the wide-open spaces, the great outdoors. You love getting out and riding the range.” He gestured toward the horses. “And the right man, of course, would appreciate those things. He’d accept you just the way you are.”
She gave him what she hoped was a coy, demure smile. Without her mirror, she couldn’t judge how successful her expression was. “Now, if only I could find the right man…” Her voice trailed off on the soft sigh she’d practiced so long and hard to perfect.
Joshua grinned broadly and edged a little closer. “You know, Miss Kat, the right man might be a lot closer that you realize.”
His nearness—and his bold words—shook her.
Her heart thumped and the blood pounded in her head, but she couldn’t let fear hold her back. She must be every bit as bold as he had been. Pushing away the last vestiges of the modesty with which she’d been raised, she reached out and placed a hand on his arm.
“I need your help, Joshua. I want to know how to please a man, how to, well, satisfy his needs.” Too embarrassed to meet his gaze, she looked down. Noticing the bulge in his pants, she let out a gasp. Lordy! He truly wanted her.
Don’t faint now. Be brave. Be bold.
She thought back to the time he’d kissed her. He must have had the same thought. Suddenly his arms were around her, pulling her into an embrace that took her as close to heaven as she’d ever been. Dear Lord, she wanted Joshua’s kisses. She wanted his touch. She wanted him in every way.
* * * *
She didn’t draw away, didn’t put up any resistance. Joshua’s tongue delved inside her mouth as he deepened the kiss.
He meant to kiss her hard and fast, then get the hell away from her. For the past two hours as they’d ridden together, he’d watched her, distracted by the defiant tilt of her head and the unmistakable flash of desire that flickered in her eyes.
Now, with her in his arms, he breathed in the sweetness of her, a soft, lavender scent mixed with the wild sage and red clover growing on the hillside.
Whoa, fellow, he told himself as his own urges threatened to overpower his good sense. He had enough complications in his life without getting emotionally tangled up with any woman, and besides, he was turning this particular woman over to Cody…wasn’t he?
But he couldn’t stop kissing her. Kat Phillips had the sweetest lips he’d ever tasted, lips that tasted a lot like that heavenly apple pie, rich with cinnamon and sugar. His hands moved downward and his body throbbed. Who would have thought those small but seductive breasts could stir such passion? When his thumb slid over one nipple, Kat moaned at the touch.
If she’d only try to move away, he’d let her go. But she pressed closer as though wanting more. He explored her hot mouth with his tongue, feeling the warmth and wetness, the softness of her lips.
Somewhere in the kissing and touching, his fingers reached for the buttons of her shirt. Quickly he unfastened each one, and then his hands were diving inside, reaching in to cup her breasts against his palms. She pulled the shirt open, exposing her bare chest to him. His hands continued moving slowly downward.
Kat suddenly gripped his arms, then reached up to stroke the back of his neck. She buried her fingers in his hair and moaned again.
He moaned with her as years of built-up tension exploded within him. He needed release. His erection strained against his trousers, aching for the satisfaction that only a woman’s body could give.
He had to take her. Right there along the creek bank. Right then, in the soft shadows of the morning light.
Suddenly, Joshua came to his senses.
What the hell was he doing? He broke the kiss, but still held Kat close, his body thrumming with unsated desires. Damn but she was a tempting morsel. He couldn’t recall ever wanting any woman so much.
She trembled in his arms, then drew back to gaze up at him, passion in her deep blue eyes.
“Joshua?” she whispered. “Why did you stop? Did I do something wrong?”
He smiled down at her, wishing he could assure her she’d done nothing wrong at all, that no matter how inexperienced she might be, she possessed a natural, instinctive passion that could drive any man wild. But it would be too easy to let his own desires take control again. He had to put a little distance between them.
“You’re not ready, darling,” he said, his voice hoarse with need.
Kat grabbed the edges of her shirt and drew them together. She lowered her gaze and seemed to shrink into herself. He’d left her unsatisfied, too, he’d realized. Even though she’d never been with a man before, her body craved release.
Joshua’s throat felt thick and swollen. He reached out, placed a thumb beneath Kat’s quivering chin, and slowly raised her face to his. “Before you can please a man, you have to know how to please yourself.”
“What are you talking about?”
As he’d expected, she had no idea what he meant, didn’t know the first thing about giving herself pleasure.
With a gentle touch, he reached down and spread the shirt apart again, then he took Kat’s right hand in his and placed it on one breast. “Have you ever touched yourself like this?” he asked, slowly guiding her hand in the same slow circles he’d made earlier.
Kat’s mouth came open, her eyes widened, and she shook her head.
“Go on,” he urged, moving his hand away. “A woman has to know her own body, darling.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath. A quick learner, indeed, he thought, noticing how her thumb and forefinger teased one swollen nipple. Joshua ached to press his tongue to that dark, erect bud, but for now, he’d have to be content to watch.
“That’s it,” he crooned, when Kat leaned back and closed her eyes. Both hands now moved across her bare flesh, lifting and cupping her breasts, teasing and flicking the nipples. “Now, Kat,” he instructed, “slide your hand down. Over your belly.” He reached out to guide her hand. “Does it feel good?” Her legs parted, and she arched her back ever so slightly.
“Yes. Good,” she whispered. “Oh, yes!”
He unfastened her trousers and loosened the ties of her drawers. Kat responded at once, slipping her hand inside. Joshua reached down, placed his big hand over hers, and pressed her fingers between her thighs.
She needed nothing more from him, he realized.
* * * *
If she’d had her wits about her, Kat might have been embarrassed at the things Joshua asked her to do, but all good sense had fled from her head at the touch of his lips to hers. His kiss left her body shaking, aching for something that seemed to be just beyond reach, like some colorful rainbow on the horizon.
Now, Lord Almighty! What were these incredible sensations, these unbelievable feelings this man had prompted her to discover? The wetness between her legs thrilled her as her fingers caressed the sensitive folds, first moving slowly upward and down again, then drawing tight, tiny circles that left her gasping and weak with indescribable joy.
Joshua sat beside her. Kat knew he watched every movement she made. The thought of his gray eyes upon her excited her, made her writhe as the pleasurable sensations intensified. When she heard him breathing heavily, the sounds drove her wild—beyond wildness.
Needing something even more, even greater, she frantically pushed her trousers, along with her drawers, down her legs, freeing her limbs and exposing the very center of herself to the cool morning air. Her hands moved nimbly, stroking and teasing as fire raged through her body. She opened her legs wider, arched upward and shuddered as sudden waves of pure ecstasy washed over her. A gentle breeze stirred her already aroused flesh, spurring her on toward dizzying new spirals of pleasure.
And then, his hand was on her, hot, heavy, his fingers searching and finding her wet core, twisting and turning in the damp, fiery curls. “You’re driving me crazy, Kat,” he murmured, thrusting one finger deep inside her. He withdrew it, then plunged it in again, and again.
Kat cried out his name, taking all he gave, yet no matter how high he carried her, her body refused to be sated. She wanted more, needed more. She needed him inside her.
“Joshua,” she called again, panting and breathless. “Please, show me what it means to be a woman.” She clutched at the waistband of his trousers, ready to rip off those damned pants if that’s what it took to persuade him.
“Easy, easy,” he crooned, stretching out full-length beside her. “You know it’s going to hurt at first.” He unfastened his trousers.
“I don’t care.” She jerked her head from side to side, still caught in the throes of ecstasy. “Please, Joshua. Hurry!”
