Mistletoe and Mayhem: A Regency Holiday Romance Anthology, page 88
“He is handsome. Perhaps not as tall as I’d prefer.” Emma tapped a finger against her chin as she pondered the topic.
What did his height have to do with anything? But Lucy reined in her impatience and said nothing.
“Prudence is nice, too,” Emma added. “I believe we would get along well.”
“That is an important consideration given how close they are. How do you feel when you’re with him?”
“Quite pleasant.”
Lucy shook her head only to halt when Collette tugged a lock of her hair. “Pleasant isn’t good enough. You should feel as if you’re dancing on air when he’s near.” She stopped herself from saying more, realizing she could’ve described the sensation in detail—flutters in her stomach, breathlessness, speeding heartbeat, and tingles from head to toe.
“Truly? Humph.” Emma scowled.
“What of Mr. Raybourne?” She clenched her hand into a fist as she braced for Emma’s answer.
A slow smile lit her face. “I do like Hugh. He’s gallant, don’t you think? More a knight than a dandy. One can imagine him capable of dealing with any situation.”
Like? Lucy considered the word as she tipped her head forward at the maid’s request. Collette pinned several white roses along the rolled chignon then stepped back to eye her work. How could Emma use such a tame word when speaking of Hugh?
“What of Viscount Jameson?” Lucy gripped her growing impatience.
“I like him as well. He has many admirable qualities.”
“Such as?” Lucy pressed after she thanked Collette and the maid took her leave.
“Handsome, kind, intelligent.” Emma lifted a finger for each trait.
“Do you like him more or less than Mr. Barnes?” Perhaps direct comparisons would force Emma to choose. Lucy hoped so, lest she shake her cousin. How could she not know how she felt after spending so much time with the men? How could she not realize how lucky she was to have a choice?
“More, I suppose.”
Lucy bolted to her feet and glared at her cousin, her patience at end. “I suppose? How can you not know? Either your heart spins when one of them enters the room or it doesn’t.”
Emma’s mouth gaped open at Lucy’s outburst. “Why are you so angry?”
“You are blessed to have three amazing men interested in you. You’ve kissed at least two of them. Surely you’ve noticed which one makes you feel something.”
When Emma only continued to stare at her with wide eyes, Lucy placed her hands over her cheeks to compose her emotions. Her cousin didn’t see how fortunate she was. Then again, Lucy hadn’t realized her own blessings until her life had changed. It wasn’t Emma’s fault their lives had grown so different.
“You’re right.” Emma rose to pull Lucy’s hands from her face. “I’m sorry. I suppose I’m fearful of making the wrong choice. And worried that if I do choose, the gentleman might not return my affection.” The concern in her blue eyes said she spoke the truth.
“Whoever you select will be lucky to have you.” Lucy turned her hands to clasp her cousin’s. But please don’t pick Hugh. A lump formed in her throat at the thought.
“How did you become such an expert on love?”
“I’ve read enough books to know you should feel more than pleasant when the right man is near.” Lucy wasn’t ready to share the truth. Not yet.
“I don’t want a temporary feeling to cause me to make the wrong choice.”
“You’re right not to take this decision lightly. Courtships can move slowly and betrothals can be many months. That will give you time to be sure. But I would think you’d know you found the right person when you’re miserable if you’re not with him.” As Lucy feared she’d be when she no longer saw Hugh each day.
Emma bit her lip, her eyes holding a far-away look. “I shall take your advice to heart.”
“I’m pleased to help.” Lucy glanced at the clock on the dressing table. “It’s nearly time to go down.”
Emma clapped her hands, her smile bright. “I shall dance with each of them and take careful note of how I feel.” She leaned forward to place a quick kiss on Lucy’s cheek. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Lucy watched her hurry from the room. Emma had done just fine with very little of Lucy’s presence the past few years other than the letters they wrote. But it was nice to feel needed by someone other than Aunt Edith for a change.
She went to her aunt’s bedchamber to collect her, pleased she felt well enough to attend the ball for a short while. Aunt Jane had expressed concern as to Aunt Edith’s wellbeing and how frequently the elderly woman felt ill, but Aunt Edith looked happy this evening, Lucy thought when her aunt opened the door.
“You look beautiful,” Lucy exclaimed. “The red is festive and becoming.”
“Thank you.” Aunt Edith beamed, a bright flush of color in her cheeks. “Just look at you. You won’t be short on dance partners.”
Aunt Edith’s words proved true. Lucy danced as much as Emma and enjoyed herself thoroughly. But her dance with Hugh was the highlight of the evening.
“You are beautiful, Lucy.” The admiration in his blue eyes caused her heart to sing.
He was an excellent partner, making her feel as if she were floating as they turned and twirled, moving away from each other only to return together again. His hand on hers was firm as if he’d never let her go. This was even better than ice skating, she realized.
Her emotions left her breathless even as they made her heart hurt. After all, the house party was nearly at end. Only Christmas Day was left. The guests would depart the following day.
But that was a worry for later. For now, she enjoyed the dance, holding Hugh’s gaze, reveling in the way he looked at her. She did her own share of looking. He was so handsome in his evening clothes, his cravat brushing his firm jawline. The contrast between his rugged good looks and the formal attire sent heat along her skin.
The dance ended all too soon, and he bowed while she curtsied then he took her hand to escort her back toward where her aunt stood. Before they reached her, he suddenly paused then glanced about as if in search of something.
“Who are you looking for?” she asked.
“I was hoping for a bit of mistletoe so I might kiss you again.” His smile caused her heart to rise to her throat.
No matter that she knew nothing could come of her feelings for this man. She was going to miss him deeply when their time together was over.
Hugh entered the village church the next morning and looked for Lucy. How much he had changed since the beginning of the party when he’d told himself he would spend every opportunity he could find to be with Emma. She was a lovely person, and he’d enjoyed their dance the previous evening. But Lucy was the one who held his affection. Especially after their delightful dance the previous evening. She was unique—beautiful inside and out, though he didn’t think she realized how special that was.
Sunlight streamed in the stained-glass windows and candles lit the altar. The church was crowded, but he had no difficulty picking out Lucy. Lucky for him, there was an empty spot beside her.
“May I sit with you?” he asked as he arrived at her pew.
Her brown eyes widened in surprise. “Oh.” She glanced across the aisle, and he turned to see Emma and her parents seated there. “Wouldn’t you prefer to sit by Emma?”
“No, thank you.” He settled beside her and nodded at her aunt, whose lips pressed together in a thin line of disapproval. “This will do nicely.”
Lucy blinked several times but said nothing.
“Happy Christmas,” he whispered.
“And to you.” She smiled then turned her attention to the minister who began the sermon.
The service was long enough that the hard bench became uncomfortable, but not nearly long enough for him to sit beside Lucy.
When the sermon ended, Hugh leaned close to Lucy. “Is it only me who is tempted to applaud the man for finally stopping?”
Lucy chuckled. “He had much to share today.” She waved at her cousin. “Doesn’t Emma look lovely today?”
Hugh glanced at Emma and nodded though uncertain to what Lucy referred. “Indeed.”
“We’re going to return to the house now,” Lucy advised him as she glanced at her aunt and uncle and Emma who visited with friends. “Aunt Edith doesn’t care for the cold. We’ll see you there.”
“May I accompany you?” Hugh asked. “That will leave more room in the next coach for those who wish to linger.”
“Wouldn’t you prefer to ride with Emma?”
He frowned, disappointed that she was pushing him toward her cousin. “No, thank you. I’ll see her soon enough.” Christmas dinner and the lighting of the Yule log were yet to come. But he hoped to have a moment alone with Lucy to give her the present he’d bought.
They settled in the coach with several guests and returned to the house. He caught Lucy’s arm before she followed her aunt up the stairs. “Do you have a moment? Will you meet me in the sitting room?”
She hesitated before nodding. “Of course.”
After retrieving the gift from his bedchamber, he waited in the sitting room, unable to keep his gaze from the mistletoe that was still on the hook where he’d placed it. Could Lucy be persuaded to share another kiss?
Then she stood in the doorway, a parcel wrapped with a gold bow in her hands.
His heart thudded dully as she drew closer. He held out his gift. “I have something for you.”
“How kind,” she said.
He gestured toward the settee before the fire, and they took a seat then exchanged the gifts. He was ridiculously pleased she’d given him one. It didn’t matter what it was. “Please open mine,” he said.
“So thoughtful of you,” she murmured as she undid the paper with care only to gasp at the sight of the small horse figurine with the white blaze on its forehead nestled in a box. “Hugh.” Her gaze returned to his, her smile bright. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome.” He returned her smile, pleased that she liked it. Her gaze shifted to stare at the horse, the longing in her expression caused his chest to ache.
“Now you.” She tore her eyes away and glanced at the gift in his lap.
“I’m honored you thought of me.” He opened the wrapping to find a handkerchief neatly folded. Something dark on one corner caught his notice and he examined it, realizing it was a galloping horse. He glanced up in surprise, touched by her thoughtfulness. “You embroidered it? For me?”
Lucy nodded. “Apparently, we were of the same mind.”
“Thank you. I shall cherish it always.” His heart melted as he ran a finger over the stitching. To think she’d used her talents to personalize a gift for him shifted the floor beneath his feet.
This. More moments exactly like this were what he wanted. Surely the other details of how it would be possible would work themselves out. But did she feel the same?
“Lucy,” he began, his heartbeat thrumming in his ears, making it difficult to think. He’d been so careful to avoid the two L’s—love and lust—thus far in his life. But when struck by both, he had no doubt they were real and could last a lifetime. “I realize we haven’t known each other long, but I admire you very much. Is there a chance you feel the same? That I might call on you after Christmas?”
Her eyes went wide with surprise. Or was that fear in their dark depths? She stood abruptly, the horse figurine clutched in her hands. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head adamantly. “That’s just not possible.”
Disappointment struck him to the quick, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He rose slowly, unable to understand. How could he have been so wrong about her feelings? “I see.”
“My apologies if I gave you the wrong impression,” she said, her chest heaving. Was she about to cry or was it panic that caused her upset? “I have enjoyed our acquaintance, but it can be nothing more.” She glanced away. “I must go. My aunt will be wondering where I am.”
Before he could find his voice, she hurried from the room, taking his heart with her.
Chapter Ten
“How was your Christmas?” Thomas asked as he strode into Hugh’s study in his apartment.
Hugh didn’t bother to rise at his brother’s arrival. He couldn’t be bothered to do much of anything since Lucy had denied him.
The New Year was fast approaching, but he had yet to venture out since his return. He’d spent the first two days drinking, though spirits had provided little comfort, only an aching head.
“Fine.” Hugh kept telling himself he was fine. That his Christmas had been fine. That his life was fine. The lie came more easily now.
Thomas paused before him, green eyes narrowed. “You don’t look fine.” He glanced about the room as if noting its general untidiness and the closed drapes. “Did you give your valet the week off?”
Hugh followed his brother’s gaze, realizing he’d left books he’d tried to read as well as news sheets lying about along with empty glasses. “He’s given up on this room for the foreseeable future.”
“Humph. Are you going to ask how my Christmas was?”
“I have no doubt it was spent in wedded bliss with your lovely bride.” Hugh was pleased for his brother. Truly. Thomas’s happiness since his marriage to Annabelle was one of the reasons Hugh held hope for love and a true partnership in marriage.
Alas, it was not to be. The realization had him considering an empty glass and whether he could find the energy to rise and fill it. Instead, he ran a finger over the embroidered horse on his handkerchief.
“It was indeed.” Thomas smiled as he moved to open the drapes, letting in daylight. Then he placed a few more coals on the fire. “Does this mean you proposed?”
“More or less.” Hugh stared at the flames but only saw a pair of brown eyes wide with surprise—or had it been fright? He still wasn’t sure. Fear made no sense. Surely Lucy wasn’t frightened of him.
Thomas turned with one brow lifted. “How does one more or less propose?”
Hugh didn’t answer, not caring to relive the moment when Lucy had refused him. He’d done that often enough in the dark hours of the nights since his return. Even the thought of it had him pressing a hand over his aching heart.
Thomas shook his head. “I can only surmise that you’ve succumbed to one of the two L’s based on your current condition.”
“I fear it’s far worse.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve succumbed to both love and lust.”
Thomas chuckled but quickly fell silent at Hugh’s glare. “I’m sorry. The initial experience is not always pleasant. It caused me no small measure of alarm.”
“My suit was refused.”
“Truly?” Thomas settled into the chair opposite Hugh’s. “I thought Miss Waverly was quite enamored with you.”
“I didn’t make an offer to Miss Waverly.”
“To whom did you?” Thomas looked thoroughly puzzled.
Hugh didn’t blame him. He didn’t understand it either. “Miss Waverly’s cousin, Miss Lucy Gray, who, of course, was the wrong woman, but turned out to be the right woman.” He shook his head at his convoluted thoughts. The lady had him tangled in knots.
“I don’t believe I know her.”
“Nor had I. She remains tucked away in the countryside, caring for her aunt, a woman who seems to be perpetually ill, both in temper and body.” He grimaced as that wasn’t completely true. Her aunt had smiled at least twice in his presence. Perhaps not at him, but she had smiled.
“How unfortunate for Miss Gray.”
Hugh rose to pace the room, warming to the subject. “You’d think she would welcome a chance to escape. But no. She’d rather remain with her aunt practically in seclusion rather than allowing me to call on her.”
“You don’t say.”
“No matter the kisses we shared.” He strode toward the opposite end of the room, welcoming the bout of temper. It felt far better than the case of the grim he’d had since his return. “Lucy is the one who kissed me the second time. That can only mean she felt something. Of course, mistletoe was involved.” He waved his hand in the air.
“Of course.” Thomas nodded when Hugh glanced at him. “It was Christmas after all.”
Hugh frowned, realizing Thomas was highly entertained by his tirade.
“Where are her parents?” his brother asked, clearly making an effort to smother his amusement.
“They died just after Lucy turned sixteen. She lost everything. Her parents, her home, her horse.”
“I should’ve known a horse was involved,” Thomas muttered as he shifted in his chair.
Well aware of Thomas’s opinion on horses due to an unfortunate incident during their childhood, Hugh ignored his remark. “She lost her future as well.” Hugh’s heart pinched at the thought of her world shattering.
“She must be grateful her aunt took her in.”
“She is, and despite everything, she’s not bitter or resentful.”
“Just scared.” Thomas shook his head.
“Scared?” Hugh frowned, seeing the hint of panic in her eyes once again.
“It would be difficult to reach for love and happiness again when you’ve had it before and lost it.”
“But this is different.”
“How so?” Thomas asked.
Hugh had no answer so turned to pace the length of the room, his thoughts churning. “I would never hurt her.”
“Not intentionally. I’m certain her parents thought the same. Then there’s also her gratitude to her aunt,” Thomas continued. “How could she consider leaving her?”
“Of course.” Hugh closed his eyes as the truth sank in. How could he not have realized all this?
“Now what?”
“How do you mean?” Hugh asked.
