Adam, page 5
I shifted my weight, trying to move the rock again. The bairn slipped in my arms and I jostled her head out of the water as much as I could. It lapped at her chin
“What’s yer name, lass?”
Her eyelids flickered and she stared dully at me. “Brigit. I’m Brigit.”
“Brigit, ye need to keep looking at my face.”
Her blank stare wavered, threatened to close. “Why?” Her voice was faint, a mere wisp of sound.
“`Tis a well-known fact I cannae tread water if ye dinnae look at me.”
Her eyelids fluttered. I pushed harder with my foot and felt the rock wiggle.
“Do ye know what happens once I move this rock?” A wave slapped me in the face and I slewed my head to one side, spitting water to clear my mouth. Her eyes followed my movement. “I know of a lass who’s going home to her ma and a roaring fire.”
“I’m . . . too . . . cold.” Her eyelids drooped again.
“But it’s better than that,” I insisted as I edged forward and felt the rock with my knee. I squatted just a bit, thankful my height allowed me to reach the bottom of the river at this point. My lower leg lined up with the rock and I leaned forward, putting what pressure I could on the rock. It dinnae budge.
My attention came back to the lass. Her head drifted listlessly to one side. I shook her. “Brigit! There will be warm blankets and hot bannocks.” I used my toes to dig in the pebbles beneath the rock. “What’s yer favorite food?” She dinnae answer, and I shouted in her ear. “Food, Brigit. What’s yer favorite food?”
I slipped and went under. I thrust her away from me to keep her head above water. I came up sputtering, but the movement of the pebbles caused the rock to shift. Brigit felt lighter in my arms and I pulled her upward. There was no resistance!
With a whoop of accomplishment, I tucked her beneath one arm and stroked hard for the shore. The current was strong, and we drifted farther downstream. I dragged her ashore some distance away and staggered to my feet. I laid her on the bank and stared at her motionless body.
Why, Soni? Why did ye bring me here and not give me the ability to be a hero?
I glanced about for my coat and boots and spied them several yards away. I raced to the rock and snatched them up, scrambling as I made the turn to dash back to Brigit’s side. I stripped her sodden cloak from her and shoved her boneless arms into my coat, wrapping it about her. Pulling her into my arms, I sheltered her with my body, crooning to her as I rocked back and forth.
“Where do ye live, Brigit?” I peered into the deepening gloom. I could take her home with me to Mairi, but she needed help now. Gently exposing one limb, I rubbed her skin briskly. A tiny flush appeared, and I moved quickly to her other arm.
“Come, Brigit. Ye never told me what yer favorite food is. Look at me so I can see yer pretty eyes. Are they blue, Brigit? Or mayhap brown?” I couldn’t stop chattering. Soni had promised me a chance to be a hero, and I wasnae going to muck it up. I’d already accomplished what I set out to do, and though it hurt mightily to think my day was ending and I wouldnae see Mairi again, I couldnae imagine leaving Brigit’s family without their lass just so I could spend a few more moments with my sweet wife.
The long shadows of late afternoon stretched into evening. The sun’s rays were losing their strength, and the mounds of snow faded to pink. Soon they would be blue, then grey, and my time here would be over. Brigit’s eyes fluttered and I laughed for joy.
I searched the pockets of my coat and found my tinderbox. Praises! I hadnae needed it these many years, and couldnae have said if it was still in my pocket or not. Inside was some dry tinder and a small square of char cloth. I’d meant to make more at the morning fire that day of the battle, but we’d been mustered early and this `twas all I had left. There would be no margin for error.
“Brigit, I’m going to look for wood for a fire. Ye must stay here and keep bundled up, aye?”
Her skin was still grey, but her eyes followed me. She neither nodded nor spoke, but I couldnae waste time. I hurried to a fallen limb, some of its branches held high in the air, bare of snow or damp. Carefully brushing away the crust of snow from the cluster of long-dead leaves, I found small, dry twigs deep inside. Encouraged, I grabbed a handful. A deadfall nearby produced some slightly larger pieces of dry wood beneath a layer of snow and branches, and I snatched them up, eager to get the fire started.
Placing the precious dry wood in my boots to keep it from the wet ground, I scraped away a circle of snow and scattered some pebbles within it. I quickly built a small pyre of tinder, placing the char cloth on top. Hands shaking, I struck the fire steel down across the surface of the flint. Sparks flew upward. I nestled the flint more firmly against the cloth. This time a few sparks landed in the char cloth, and it glowed with the promise of fire.
I blew carefully on the embers and after a long agonizing moment, they burst into flame. I caught the flicker of pleasure in Brigit’s eyes and a surge of hope welled in me, a boon for having lost my last hour with Mairi.
Tending the little fire, I soon had an adequate flame and I pulled Brigit into my lap. Unwrapping my coat from her small body, I opened it to the fire, and was rewarded with her small sigh of contentment. I drew my first solid breath since hearing her cry and settled in to devote my last few minutes in this world to giving this wee lass a second chance at life.
CHAPTER 12
“I knew ye wouldnae give up.”
I jerked my head at the sound of Soni’s voice. She was seated on a rock just beyond the glow of the fire, the familiar greenish aura faint about her, her black cloak blending into the shadows. My heart sank.
“Not now, Soni. I cannae leave the lass like this.” I gestured to Brigit as she shook in my arms. “Once she’s warmed through, I’ll find where she lives and see she gets there. It cannae take much longer.”
“Brigit isnae yer challenge, Adam.”
“Ye mean, I’ve failed?” Though I hadnae given thought to winning the boon of a few rounds with our Bonnie Prince Charlie—all I’d really wanted was a chance to repair the barn and save Mairi from chasing down stray sheep and falling on the ice—to have gotten so sidetracked as to have lost the challenge sent a shock through my system.
“I thought ye dinnae want a challenge. Ye said ye only wished to protect yer wife.”
“I do. I did.” I gave her a hard look. “Are ye nae here to take me back?”
Soni glanced about her. “Yer day is nigh past, Adam. And ye did fix the hole in the barn.” She turned her piercing eyes back on me. “But there is yet unfinished business at yer cottage.”
A shout rose on the air. Torchlight wobbled some distance upriver.
Soni rose. “Brigit’s da is coming. Dinnae linger, Adam. Go and make yer peace with yer pretty wife. I can give ye a few more hours, ’tis all. Ye’re close, Adam. So close.”
And with those words, she vanished. I’d no time to puzzle over the meaning. A burly man, bundled against the cold, came within the circle of light of my small fire.
“Brigit!”
The lass weakly lifted her arms to him and he grabbed her from my lap. She was immediately lost within the folds of his plaide, and he held her tight. After a few moments, he lifted anguished eyes to mine. With a benign smile, I rose to my feet, shrugging into my damp coat.
“Thank ye,” the man said. “Her brothers said she fell into the river near the crossing at Strathbogie. By the time they searched for her then came to me, I dinnae hope to find her alive.”
“I heard her cry for help. She was trapped by a limb, and it took a bit of doing to get her free, but I believe she’ll be fine now with a bit of food and something warm to drink.”
Brigit’s da reached inside his sporran and pulled out a flask, offering me a nip.
I waved him off. “The twa of ye need it more.”
Nodding, he tilted the flask to his own lips, then gently tipped a wee bit into Brigit. She grimaced then grinned, her cheeks flushing bright pink. I imagined the familiar warmth of the whisky as it spread through my body. Brigit tilted her head at me from the protection of her da’s chest.
“How can I thank ye?” the man asked.
My throat tightened. Someday soon my family would be at the mercy of strangers. “Remember the widows and children. Be kind to the innocent.”
He stared at me for some moments, then gave a single nod. He shoved the flask back into his sporran.
“Peace be with ye.” His precious daughter in his arms, he turned back the way he’d come. Brigit peered at me over her da’s shoulder.
“Raspberries. My favorite food is raspberries.”
CHAPTER 13
I shook the remaining pieces of tinder from my boots and shoved my feet into them. I carefully stomped out the fire, then hurried toward home. I couldn’t wait to see my sweet Mairi again, though the parting this time would be hard. Soni had promised me a few more hours to say my piece, see my fill of Mairi and my bairn. He—or she—wasnae due to arrive for another few weeks, but mayhap the bairn would kick again, reassuring me how strong he was. I trudged on through the snow and muck as the shadows lengthened and the last of the sun faded behind the hills.
A dog’s bark echoed through the trees. I quickened my step, on the lookout for anything out of sorts. Pol barked again, not her sharp something may be out there bark, warning the interloper she was alert and protecting the family, but a rapid, distressed bark. The one she used when the sheep were out.
Muttering under my breath, I broke into a run and cleared the trees surrounding the glen a few moments later. Pol bounded across the yard toward me then darted away. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure I followed, she ran to the house. The door was partly ajar but only a faint glow from the hearth lit the opening. The blood that had streamed so hotly through my veins only moments before, ran cold.
I took the three steps in one leap and burst through the door. A pot lay on the floor next to the hearth, soup congealing on the floor. Mairi was a dark shape huddled on the bed in the next room. I flew to her side and knelt on the floor next to her.
“Mairi, mo chridhe, what ails ye? Is it the bairn?”
Her soft kitten-like mewl of distress tore at me and I ran my palm across her forehead. Her skin was moist and clammy.
“Tell me what to do, Mairi. I’m here to help ye.”
Her eyes opened and she stared at me. “Adam? I thought ye were gone. I thought ye werenae coming back.”
“Och, Mairi! I had to stop at the river. A wee lass had fallen in.”
She smiled and touched my cheek in a gentle caress. “Ye’re so caring, Adam—such a good man.”
Her voice was soft, distant, and it frightened me. “What’s happening, Mairi?”
“My pains’ve started. They took me by surprise not long after ye left with William.”
“The bairn isnae due for weeks. Are ye sure?” The words sounded daft even to my ears, but I couldnae grasp the fact that after all my work, after being granted a short time with Mairi, she could still go into labor early and lose the bairn.
“They came hard and fast at first, though they’ve settled a bit.” She bit her lip and gripped the blanket beneath her.
As little as I knew about birthing bairns, I could tell these were no early pains I’d heard women speak of. The only thing I knew to do was to make Mairi as comfortable as possible and backtrack to William’s house and bring his ma to help. I dinnae like leaving Mairi alone, but I saw no alternative.
I tucked a pillow behind her back and dashed into the kitchen. I tossed blocks of peat on the hearth and prodded the fire back to life. I added water to the kettle on the hook over the fire. Grabbing a cloth from the stack next to the sink, I filled a bowl with fresh water and hurried back to the bedroom.
Mairi moaned quietly, and I could tell by her gritted teeth she tried to keep the extent of her pain from me. When it passed, she panted softly. I noticed the straining laces of her gown and it seemed only practical to at least loosen them for her comfort. As soon as she eased, I untied the strings. She struggled to sit and between us we removed her gown, leaving her thin shift, which was soon damp with sweat. I covered her with a light blanket to ward off a chill.
“I dinnae know what to do, Mairi.” I felt helpless and alone. Worse than the despair of the moor and the missive the lad had brought to me at the campfire the night before the battle, the thought of losing Mairi and the bairn numbed me. Nothing had changed. I was still helpless.
I sat beside Mairi on the bed, her head tucked against my side, one hand draped across my thigh. “Ye need a woman’s help, but I dinnae wish to leave ye like this.”
Her fingers curled claw-like against my leg. “Dinnae go. Please stay with me.”
I kissed the damp curls matted on her forehead, tasting the salty tang of her efforts. “We’ll work this together, then. Ye and I.”
She nodded and sighed. After a moment I realized she’d drifted into a light sleep.
To say I was terrified would be an understatement. Men were kept largely ignorant of the birthing process, and I was no better than most. My knowledge consisted of the nervous da pacing the floor as his wife labored to bring the bairn into the world—from the opposite side of a firmly closed door. I’d sat with a couple of my friends in this situation, watching as women bustled in and out of the room, carrying bowls of water—at least I’d thought of that already—and making general shushing sounds to anyone who tried to question them. I dinnae wish to face what was to come by myself, but Mairi needed me, and I wouldnae let her down. I would do anything in my power to save her.
The room felt overwarm, and I slipped from the bed, careful not to wake her. I checked on the fire in the hearth and damped it down a bit. It wouldnae do to bring a new bairn into a cold house, but his ma would likely labor better if the air wasnae so close.
My chest was tight, and I needed a draught of cold air. I gently opened the door and stepped onto the stoop. Pol’s nails clicked on the wood floor as she followed me. I’d not given her a thought since I’d come inside more than an hour ago. Or had it been longer?
I stretched, noting a tightness in my back. The night was clear, and stars winked overhead. I knew there would be another flurry of snow before winter was completely over. A flurry that would sap the strength and morale of men and cause ill-made plans to go awry.
Why did ye send me back here tonight, Soni? Did ye know Mairi was in labor? Why did ye not tell me so I could get help? I was as close to William’s house as here. She needs a woman’s help, not my fumbling hands and ignorance. Damn it, Soni! Why?
I stared into the night, the bitter air stretching the skin over my bones. The wind soughed in the trees, rattling the last of the dead leaves lingering on their branches like the clatter of old bones. I scratched Pol’s head. She whined.
A green glow moved toward the house from the edge of the yard. I knew `twas Soni and I tasted the bitterness of utter failure in the back of my mouth. She continued to advance and a moment later I could see her form, striding with girlish grace through the snow, the hood of her cloak thrown back, her arms swinging at her sides. She met me on the steps with a gentle smile.
“Yer Mairi is doing well?”
“How should I know? I’m nae midwife.” My words were sharp, and they tempered the smile on Soni’s face. “What did ye think I could do by coming back? I watch, helpless, as my wife labors, and I dinnae know what to do.”
All the agony I’d felt when I first read the missive about sweet Mairi’s death settled over me again with punishing weight. The urge to clout something twisted my muscles. With a groan of frustration, I slammed my fist into the door frame, feeling the force of it shudder through my arm and shoulder. My frustration still boiled.
Soni waited patiently until I regained my composure, hands folded placidly in front of her. “Ye arenae holding up so well, Adam.”
I raked a hand through my hair. “Nae. I’m not.”
“Might we go inside? I’m no midwife, either, but mayhap another woman’s presence would be comforting.”
How was I to explain a strange woman to Mairi? Earlier, Soni had told me Mairi couldnae see her. She would change that? And my wife would surely know Soni wasnae the midwife or any local woman. Would Soni convince Mairi at last that I was a ghost? Mayhap her soothing presence would help Mairi accept the fact I would soon be gone.
I nodded and stepped aside, allowing Soni to enter the house. She slipped her cloak off and I draped it over the back of a chair near the hearth. I dinnae know why I thought she might like it warmed before she set out again, but I would have done so for any guest.
Soni glided into the bedroom. Mairi still slept, but was restless, and the blanket had slipped away. Soni grasped the edge of the covering and gently pulled it to Mairi’s shoulders.
Mairi’s eyes flickered open and I tensed.
Soni pressed a palm to Mairi’s shoulder. “I’m here to help ye.”
Mairi stared at her for a moment, then nodded her acceptance.
CHAPTER 14
And just like that, my presence appeared to be unneeded, unwanted, without purpose. And yet, I couldnae leave the room. Soni beckoned to me and I jumped at the chance to be useful. Together, we shifted Mairi to her feet and stripped the bed. She sent me for fresh straw, and I barreled my way to the barn for a large, fragrant armful. Piling it on the mattress, Soni then had me cover it with a clean sheet and several layers of linens before allowing Mairi to sink back onto the bed.
I bundled the soiled sheets and set them aside to deal with later. Soni leaned over Mairi, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing words to her.
“Should I fetch my good-sister?” Once again, I was at a loss as to what to do and felt the urge to bring William’s ma to help.
Soni tilted her head. “Let’s see how she progresses.”
“`Twill be dawn soon. William comes along first thing of a morning. I can send him back for his ma if needed.”
