"There is enough of her blood in you that you will live. It may take your body some time to heal."

  Relief almost knocked Carlo down again. "I'm not dead?"

  "You are alive, but temporarily in Duat. You wished to enter the realm of Osiris. Without your heart, you cannot stay. This was the only way."

  Isis had a plan after all. Why had he doubted that? "I understand. Why are you helping me?"

  "This is my realm. Isis asked me to aid you."

  "Do you know what I'm looking for?"

  "The ba of the Vessel of Ra." Anubis walked away. "Come now. You must see Osiris."

  Carlo followed Anubis toward the building. "Do you know if it's here?"

  "Osiris will know." Anubis stopped at the door of the temple. "They will ask to weigh your heart. Be polite and follow appropriate etiquette."

  "I don't know what is appropriate," said Carlo.

  "Respect will mean you are not fed to Ammut the Devourer."

  "Be assured, I will be respectful."

  Two stark statues of men with crook and flail held in arms crossing their chests stared emptily ahead as Carlo slid into the temple, Anubis behind him. The chamber seemed to go on forever. There were two rows of seats across from a scale, one row set above the other. Egyptians sat in the chairs, a mix of animals and humans and both at the same time. One side of the scale held a feather. The other waited. Anubis took his place by the empty scale in between a strange looking monster, half alligator and half something else, maybe a pig? Directly to the right of the seats, across from the scale was a green man wrapped in the leavings of bandages, his eyes small shrewd raisins. On his head was the crown of pharaohs.

  Carlo made an elegant bow.

  "Kneel before Osiris," hissed Anubis.

  Carlo sank to his knees.

  "You have come to sing the song of your life?" said Osiris.

  "I hope my life is not over yet," said Carlo. "My lord, I am unprepared to be here. Your lady wife sent me at my request, although not in a way of my choosing." Carlo eyed the demonic pig. "My name is Carlo Borgia, and I am of your wife's blood. I am here on a quest in your land, to look for the ba of the Vessel of Ra."

  The jackal-headed god strode forward. "I stand for this one, Osiris. He is a child of Isis, and he has not undergone funerary preparation."

  Osiris seemed apart from the room, like he was some other place and here at the same time, his eyes cool. "I will answer your questions. You seek to help the Vessel of Ra?"

  "Isis says her ba is not to be found in the Golden City nor the Abyss, that perhaps it is here?"

  "There is no ba for the Vessel of Ra."

  "Where is it?"

  Osiris intoned like a schoolmaster teaching Latin. "It has never existed. Binders echo their gods, and a Trial brings each to their full potential. Ra gave one of his eyes to the goddess Hathor. When he did so, he lost his sanity. The Binder he coveted would echo his problems, and perhaps cure him, but theirs was a broken symbiosis. The Vessel of Ra had no Trial, so, as with Ra, there is no path for her but madness."

  "I don't understand."

  "No Binder has a ba until after their Trial, when their true personalities are manifest, and what they call the curse, their term for the vice of their god, falls away. What you are looking for is not an object to be found, but a state to be renewed. This can only be done through a Trial." The god sighed.

  His grandfather had done more damage than Carlo knew. "Did Isis know this?"

  "How could she?" said Osiris. "It is a mystery she also must face and learn."

  "Octavia was right," said Carlo. "Without the Trial, a Binder goes mad. Wait. Why is Octavia no longer mad? Khun died."

  "The god Khun, before he died, submitted to Octavia Klaereon. His declaration happened on sacred ground. So Octavia Klaereon becomes who she was meant to be."

  Carlo let Osiris’s information sink in. "So, in order to help Lucy, I must make sure she and Ra undertake the Trial?"

  "An impossibility since their tie has been severed."

  "Let me think about it," said Carlo. "I might figure something out."

  "He has ego, like his mother before him," said Osiris. Was that pride in Osiris’s voice? Any emotion, however slight, was noticeable.

  "I don't give up easily," said Carlo.

  "I have given you the answers you seek. Anubis, return him, lest he be judged without his heart."

  Anubis pulled Carlo to his feet. The room faded and wavered, and he knew nothing else.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Hathersage, May, 1842

  Drusus landed in the terraced garden at Mistraldol as the sun peeked out from behind a cloud bank. The garden was budding with roses as April gave way to the beauty of May. He was exhausted, wind-burned, and worried. Somewhere in England, his wife was being held for an examination by the council to see if she was culpable of murdering her father, based on Drusus' own testimony.

  "I will be of some credible use," he repeated to himself. Fear boxed him in, compressed him from every angle, pummeled his senses. "I will not run. I will not run." Octavia needed him. His children needed him. He started and stopped his way down the stairs. "Protect your family. See Lucy. Make her stop this. Take action." He stopped and squeezed his eyes shut. "I will not run. I will not run."

  He could go no further, frozen on the stairs. His head ached. A thought scratched at the back of his head. At least he hadn't run. "Lucy!" he shouted. "Anyone? I cannot come in. You must come out."

  A girl cleaning the windows right above him jumped. She looked down on him. "Sir?"

  Drusus wiped sweat off his forehead. "I need Miss Lucy. Can you send her to me?"

  The girl disappeared into the house. Drusus sat on the stairs. He would not run. He wanted to see his children, desperately. He was worried for them. His hands shook. He shouldn't have come back. He had to come back.

  "Sir?" McAllistair stood at the bottom of the stairs on the ground below, stoic.

  "I—" Drusus braced himself against the wall. "I—asked for Miss Lucy."

  "Signora Borgia has sent me."

  "Right." Drusus ran his hand through his hair. They were married. Carlo was here. "I must talk to her, or Carlo, but I—I am…" He was afraid and embarrassed. He didn't know how much longer he had. "McAllistair, please tell Lucy Octavia is being held by the council. It is my fault, and hers. I have to go now."

  Drusus flew into the sky, shaking. It had gone better and worse than he expected. Now, he suspected his best choice would be to go to Skye Castle, to find Vergilius, to do what he could from there. His sons. Vergilius could come to get his sons, help him keep them safe. Wait…where had that thought come from? Hadn't he left because he was dangerous, and staying away would keep them safe?

  Lucy appeared on the ground below. McAllistair and she spoke briefly, and then the older man went back into the house. Lucy waved Drusus down. Drusus flew toward her, feeling buffeted by emotions pulling him in all directions. He landed, and she threw herself at him, her arms wrapped around him. Drusus peeled her away from him, his mind reeling. Dark circles under her eyes indicated little sleep. "What's wrong?" It was a struggle to stand. He couldn't breathe.

  "Why did you come back?" Lucy asked.

  "I have terrible news. Octavia has been taken by the council. We have to help her, but you…you did this to me, whatever this is." He grabbed her arms. Horror sparked like an electric shock. Drusus stepped back and held his arm in front of him, a barrier. "Stay away from me!" He straightened. Compose yourself. Think. This will not do. "Whatever spell you've cast on me, I can't stay here unless you stop it. Octavia needs us. Please help me help her, help you. You look unwell."

  Lucy nodded, swaying as she stood, tears falling. "I am unwell. What do you remember, Drusus?"

  When he left, there had been blood, so much blood. "I hurt you, and you drove me away. I don't want to hurt you." He crossed his arms and held his elbows. He wanted to comfort her, but could not bring himself to approach her. "Where is Carlo?"

  Lucy shook her head. "I…"

  "Did you harm him?" Why would he say that? What was wrong with him? This suspicion was not the same as fear. A memory tapped harder, almost broke through.

  Lucy squeezed her eyes shut. "Carlo journeyed to Erasmus' temple to find a way to Isis, but he didn't come back, not exactly. Balthazar brought him back to us. He's alive, but unresponsive. I've tried everything I could think of. The doctors have no idea. I need Carlo to keep me steady, and I need you to go because if you're gone…"

  "…we're dangerous, and I shouldn't be here." Drusus' eyes widened. "I'm not dangerous, am I? You're the one who wants to—"

  "Listen to me." Lucy's lip trembled. "I need you to leave now. If you don't leave, I can't be responsible."

  Memory flooded over Drusus like cold water. "You drove me away. I shouldn't have come back. Lucy, listen, let me help you."

  Lucy wiped tears out of her eyes. "I don't know what's happening to me."

  "Stay with me. Don't let Ra—"

  Lucy's eyes flashed golden. "Ra does not control me! Ra will never control anyone again. None of them will."

  Drusus was pinned by her eyes, could feel Lucy boring into his head. "Don't," he said, shaking his head. The noise inside his mind was destroying his will. "You can't do this. Octavia needs us. Carlo needs us."

  "Octavia is safer where she is, until we are finished. You should have stayed away. Now I have no choice."

  Drusus fell to his knees. Hooks sank into his mind. "I won't let you do this. I will stop you."

  "No," said Lucy, fiercely. "You will not. You will do what I tell you to. I have more power than you. This is for everyone's good."

  "You can't control me every moment of every day."

  "I don't have to control you constantly," said Lucy. "Just enough."

  Exhaustion was replaced by certainty. Fear was slipping away. He was slipping away, and all he could hear was the voice of his mistress.

  Lucy's eyes returned to blue. "It's been a long flight for you."

  Drusus stood, brushed off his clothes. "As you say."

  "Go rest. You're no good to Octavia or Carlo unless you rest.”

  "As you say."

  "And Drusus?"

  He turned to look at her. Lucy scratched her elbow with one arm. Her voice was a whisper, but he heard it. "Stop me."

  In the dark space of his mind, Drusus was lost, locked in with Khun, who stood resolutely, arms crossed. "You know what she wants?"

  "I know."

  "How can you let her control you like this? I can't do anything. This is your fault."

  "No, Husband of Octavia. It is the will of Ra I must follow."

  "You lied to Carlo. You told him I was keeping secrets from you. You have been manipulating me this whole time." Drusus hit him.

  Khun did not move. "We were never meant to return."

  Drusus ran a hand through his hair. "Octavia is in danger! How could I stay away?"

  "Octavia is in no danger, and now she is in less. The examination will keep her safe while we do what we must."

  "You cannot imagine her situation is safe, not when you and Lucy are showing the council exactly how little control she has over this family. Please, Khun, I beg you, do not let Lucy make you do this. You love our sons, Octavia, as much as I do."

  Khun's gaze sharpened. "You mistake what I must do with what I wish to do. I am compelled. You are not compelled, Drusus Claudian."

  "I am trapped by you!"

  Khun laughed. "You trap yourself."

  Drusus shook his head. "That's not true."

  "If you wish to be of any use, we must stop pretending. They say you have courage. Do you have the courage to embrace me?"

  Drusus squared his jaw. "If I accept what everyone has said is true, that you and I are the same…”

  "What you know in your jb to be true."

  "…I won't be able to fight Lucy at all."

  "Wrong," said Khun's voice. "I am more likely to break free, because I am not who she thinks I am."

  Drusus nodded. "Yes. I understand."

  When Drusus opened his eyes, Khun was gone. Or, rather, Drusus knew exactly where Khun was.

  Hathersage, September, 1842

  "Come on, Carlo. Wake up. You can do it."

  The voice was mushy and distorted like it was coming from a long distance away, but his ears adjusted. A man's voice, someone he knew. His eyelids were ponderous weights, but he lifted them. His vision was blurry, the color of violet and purple, the face of someone he couldn't make out in the blur. Someone grabbed his pulse and held it. What language was he speaking? Why wasn't it Venetian?

  "His heartbeat is the strongest it has been," said another voice. That would be a doctor, which would make sense, because his body felt like a mountain had fallen on it, one gigantic hunk after another, taking its time.

  He tried to say something and croaked, which alarmed him. What had happened to him? Where was he? He was waking again, after Isis, after Duat. If he was going to wake up this time, he'd best stay awake. He closed his eyes again to give them a momentary respite from the blurriness. Drusus. The first voice was Drusus. He was out of Duat, not in the Abyss. Unless something had happened to Drusus? But the presence of a doctor suggested otherwise.

  His eyelids flickered open, not as difficult this time. Drusus held his hand, which was a very tender action, considering he was English. He wanted to say so, to joke, to show that his situation wasn't as desperate as Drusus might think, to show that Carlo Borgia was himself, but there was no voice to be had.

  His vision sorted into walls and people. Drusus' head almost split because of a maniac grin. "You mustn't try to talk yet. No doubt you are very dry." He understood. The language was English. Apparently, he knew English.

  "Not too much," said the doctor. "Just some sips."

  Drusus returned with a glass and held up Carlo's head. The water burned, but it was also welcome. He coughed. He closed his eyes again. There were many questions. He whispered. "What happened to me?"

  "Do you know who you are?" asked the doctor.

  "Carlo Borgia."

  There were other tests. The doctor made a lot of satisfying clucks and hrms. "You sorcerers are an amazing and lucky bunch, Mr. Borgia. Not only have you lived to wake up, but there does not seem to be mental impairment."

  "He heals well," said Drusus, "even if in this instance he took his time about it."

  The doctor packed away the small hammer he'd been tapping Carlo's arm with. "Call me if anything gives you alarm. I will return tomorrow and see how you are progressing. It may be wisest for you to stay in bed until we assess more about your physical condition."

  "Thank you," Carlo whispered.

  The doctor went out. Carlo turned his head. He was in bed. To his left was a window. Outside, the sky was gray.

  "You have no idea," said Drusus, sitting in the chair beside the bed. "How glad I am you're awake." Drusus stared at him like he'd never seen him.

  Drusus leaned in to hear him, and Carlo whispered into his ear. "England?"

  "Yes."

  So many questions. How had he gotten here? Where was his wife? How had Drusus returned home? No doubt Drusus had questions as well. "Water?"

  Drusus helped him again. "Don't be greedy, Carlo. Slowly."

  "What happened?" Carlo closed his eyes.

  "I can only tell you so much. You should rest."

  Carlo's hand moved toward Drusus. "Now. I can listen."

  "You're sure?"

  "No editing," said Carlo. He hoped his grin did not look ghastly.

  "No editing," Drusus agreed. "Let's start with you. Lucy tells me you went to the Abyss. We don't know what happened to you, but Balthazar brought you home. You have been incapacitated for months. It's September."

  "Isis ripped out my heart." He wasn't sure if that had been real, or metaphysical, but it certainly had been damaging.

  "My god." Drusus sucked in his cheeks. "Not what I expected, but yes, I could see where that would set you back. While you were here, I went to my brother Antonius, who sent Octavia information on my whereabouts in Gibraltar. Octavia came to bring me home, but she was arrested because the council is re-examining her case regarding the death of her father. She is still being detained."

  Carlo tried to speak, and coughed. Drusus helped him sit up. "Why?" Carlo managed to choke out.

  "Galt claims she would have killed Caius without Ra possessing her. Pre-meditated murder. During one of my time lapses, I publicly intimated she was guilty, they say. Atreus Galt brought forward witnesses who heard me. We are now looking at that charge, as well as her ability to govern the magic of the Klaereon family."

  Carlo swallowed. That was bad news, given Drusus' problems and what he had learned from Osiris about Lucy and Ra.

  "Vergilius has been working hard on our behalf. Neither Lucy nor I are allowed to see her. The council knows about Lucy and Ra. Vergilius has his suspicions about Khun. We are not trusted to know her location as much as I have tried to convince them otherwise."

  Carlo breathed, his chest rising and falling. He was never going to take breathing for granted again. "Lucy? How is she?" Where was his wife? "How can you be here?"

  "We…are reconciled," said Drusus. He said it like he wasn't certain. "She needs you. We are struggling."

  "I'm not surprised, with neither Octavia nor myself to help her be herself. I want to see her."

  "It is so good to have you back."

  Drusus said something else, but Carlo's eyelids were heavy. When he woke again, the room was dark. He was suffocating, covered in dark, sticky blood, and made a startled noise.

  A soft hand brushed his face. "There you are," Lucy said, gently. "You couldn't stay awake to see me, but I will always wait for you."

  "I am sorry to give you trouble." His voice was a whisper again.

  Lucy's voice trembled. "Drusus told me what Isis did to you. I promise you, I will never let anything happen to you again." She helped him to some more water.

  "I've missed months," Carlo said. "And caused a considerable amount of worry."

  "You've come back. That's what matters."

 

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